273 Pamela Bonasera: I survived a 19-year Narcissistic Marriage and Alcoholism

Steps To Sobriety

In Pamela's words: I am the youngest of 5 daughters born into a middle-class family in Western, Pennsylvania. Our parents divorced when I was 17 and I was left to “raise” my mother for a few years as she struggled with depression, anger and drinking after their divorce.
Recovery from an emotionless narcissistic husband and recovering from alcohol abuse, to hide the marriage issues, were the best two things I have done for myself. Realizing that my marriage was only going to get worse, I decided I needed to save myself and my children. He was verbally punishing me on a daily basis, just as my father abused my mother and the children. Yes, I married my father. As sick as that sounds, my father was the first man I got to know in my life, and of course, I would look for someone with his qualities because that was all I knew. My father, and my ex-husband, have some really great qualities, like work ethic, how they appear to others, and having nice things. What you don’t see is the devil behind the mask. They were both verbally abusive to me. My ex was even physically abusive to me on more than one occasion and then he told me “I deserved it,” and I 100% believed him. I never had high self-esteem before he came into my life, and the little bit I had left, he totally sucked from me. I walked on eggshells for 19 years, and then I got strong. When he cheated on me and told me it was my fault, I was done, out, getting divorced one way or another. That was the beginning of my new life. I then got sober, helped our oldest son get into recovery for drug addiction, returned to college and received a BS in Management, changed jobs, bought my house, finished raising our two children that were in grade school when we divorced, and here I am today. I am ALIVE and loving my life.
3 top tips for my audience:
1. If it feels wrong, it is.
2. Trust your gut instinct
3. Never let anyone tell you “you aren’t worthy” because sisters/brothers, YOU ARE!

Social media and contact info.
Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/pamela-bonasera-management
Instagram: pamelamomof3