I Feel Like a Child

愛、生活、人生系列

Do you sometimes feel as though you’re really a child inside? If our various child parts are not fully integrated into our adult self, we’re likely at times to feel like a child inside an adult’s body. We won’t be able to feel truly grown up because our basic sense of self hasn’t sufficiently evolved into the actual adult we’ve become. Our chronological age, our body, our mind may be all an adult, but our psyche, nonetheless, continues to be a child. To put it more concretely, when present-day circumstances tap into old, unresolved doubts or fears—that is, distressful feelings that may go all the way back to childhood—we’ll experience ourselves in the same way we did in the past.
In the past, caught up in the struggle to find ourselves and our place in the world, we may have had good reasons to doubt ourselves. It’s probably universal that former negative beliefs we had about our limitations can hinder us from seeing ourselves as the, more or less, competent, resourceful adults we’ve become. And although we may well have become more self-confident, as long as that insecure child still residing within us hasn’t been made privy to all the changes we’ve accomplished, stressful situations will continue to make us vulnerable to the same insecure feelings that afflicted us in growing up. On such occasions, we’ll internally harass ourselves by identifying with an image of self that is as uncertain and self-critical as it is out-of-date.
Experiencing ourselves at a core level as though we were still children is apt to render us indecisive, helpless, or it prematurely impels us to suspend our efforts on a task, pursuit, or even relationship. In the moment, confusing our present-day self with an earlier, less capable self, we may also, regressively, be driven to look for another person to rely on, or shy away from accepting a responsibility that now seems intimidating and makes us feel overwhelmed. In short, our brain has been hijacked, sabotaged by that earlier part of us who was never quite able to merge with the adult we eventually became.
However, do you remember when you were a kid, you had almost no worries, and it was all about making the most of each day? No one could control you and you didn’t take no for an answer. If you wanted something, you just did it even if it meant breaking the rules. You never let opinions stop you from taking action, and you tried new stuff all the time. Every day, you were learning crazy new things that you never knew before.
Then you got older. Society changed your priorities. You got rich. Or you bought a house. Or you got married. Or you had a family. Then, all of a sudden, you forgot how to take the best bits of being a kid and use them in your adult life. You stopped calling the shots as much, and your creativity flatted.
As a kid, you had no idea what the word “failure” meant. As far as you were concerned, you were going to try things no matter what to see if you liked them. There was only exploring and no dead ends. You laughed when you found out Santa Claus wasn’t real. You didn’t give up on life; you just moved onto the next thing. It’s time for you to get back to trying stuff again, and disconnect yourself from whether or not you’re deemed to be successful by someone else’s standards.
Children like to ask questions. Asking questions helps you to learn and connect with people. Questions build rapport. Questions are the key to effective communication. You can never ask too many questions as an adult. Therefore, adults should learn things from children. If you ask the question that everyone is thinking, but nobody has the courage to answer out of fear, you’ll become the people’s champion. There’s no such thing as being dumb. Even if something is really obvious but you may not have been exposed to it before, as an adult, it’s still fine for you to know about something new for the first time. Maybe the reason why you’re feeling unhappy or unfulfilled is because you settled for the wrong hobbies and quitted exploring them too soon. You’ll never know unless you start trying new hobbies again. You might surprise yourself now that you’re an adult, not a child before.
Our imaginations were wild as kids. We saw the world differently. We could see the potential even in the smallest things. Nothing was as it seems and anything was possible. Then slowly, we were told how the world is. We were told what to think and meanings we’ve given to everything. These meanings became fixed labels that couldn’t be changed. If we didn’t conform to the labels, then we faced a life of uncertainty and pain. This very adult idea is the problem. I would like to say that I can inspire the world and don’t care if people think I’m a fool. Whatever our crazy idea is, we should let our imagination take over again. Imagination leads to creativity, and creativity has the power to solve the worlds’ problems.
Most of our childhood was spent being creative. It’s when we did our best work and where we earned the praises that children strive for. Creativity is very important. Kids are so freaking happy all the time. Going to the shops is like an adventure to Egypt. Kids smile heaps, and laugh at the silliest things. As an adult, we could do with a lot more of this, too. Smile more. We could laugh at stupid jokes, and go see a comedian once in a while. Laughing and smiling will give us perspectives of our problems.
Take a break from being serious as much as you can like when you were a kid. Allow yourself to enjoy life instead of just living it. Your beliefs as a kid were that you could do whatever you want, and try whatever you like. You can do whatever you want in your adult life, too. It all starts with a decision. Anything is possible and you’re in control. Playtime is where you can be free again and do stuff fun. It breaks up the long patterns of work and sleep that are needed to execute on your goals. It’s the right time that adults can be like children.

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