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Manage episode 203149989 series 2199051
Notice how I said think.
I'm not saying I am but I think I am. My content may never find an audience or provide any value, but in the event that it doesn't, I wanted to let you know why I think I act the way that I do.
So here goes, the reasons Why I Think I'm So Creative:
Genetic predisposition - I come from a long line of creatives, alcoholics and salesmen. This can be a dangerous combination in a good way. Basically it allows me to formulate my own set of rules and criteria for which to live by and sell everyone else on my ideals. My mother and father were not alcoholics but my mother is wildly creative and my dad is a master salesman with relentless inner drive. The genes I got from them gave me the ability to create and then monetize it by way of Dad's ambition. Without those two things I would not have the stamina to be an artist.
I have faced alot of failures that have forced me to find creative ways to succeed - I thought about making a list of all the shit that didn't work out for me, but it is depressing so I'm not going to do that right now. What I learned from the process of people telling me no is how to get them to say yes to whatever it is that I'm trying to do. Whether it's making my product better, selling to the right audience instead of the wrong one or saving money to take risks that nobody else will take, I have had to find creative ways to do this. It might be repackaging a said "product" or spending time analyzing my mistakes to see what I could have done differently to make for a better outcome. The bottom line is that failure has taught me not only what to do but what to improve and forced me to think critically on what works, what doesn't and where to get better.
I have sustained several massive head injuries - Funny enough, a few blows to my head occurred both in my childhood, my adolescence and adulthood that I think may have impacted my current creative state. I'm not going to say I'm crazy, but I do think that sometimes the river in my head has a hard time finding its way to the ocean. The first blow came when a massive glass water jug full of pennies fell on my head and busted on the floor. I think I was like 3. Nothing about that sounds good. Second, I was about 12 years old and this catapult contraption my sister was making for her physics class unhinged and hit me square in the face, which made me blackout for about 2 minutes. The third was a time I was jumped by a mob of people at a house party. I was knocked out cold, began throwing up constantly and later when the doctor who informed me I had sustained a concussion.
I was administered hepatitis booster shot when I was in Middle School - This is one of those things that the doctor recommended that I really don't think was a good idea. You see all this material and proven science that suggests that themerisol or mercury has been put in the vaccines either as part of a conspiracy or to merely as an inert ingredient to preserve the said antidotes. Whatever the case, after I was administered that booster series as a teenager I have never felt the same mentally. I'm pretty sure it dropped my IQ a solid letter grade. The bottom line is that something changed after that happened and I don't know what. Whatever it is, I can't hit the reset button. Fortunately, I think my brain has made enough connections to become a contributing member of society, but I really want to believe I could have possibly won my clairvoyant badge had I not been administered the serum.
Use of alcohol and cannabis - I can't say these things are positive and I wish I didn't do them, but through their use I have in fact created some great ass material. Not only does it give me shit to talk about when I am sober, but I was able to open a window and resolve components of songs, etc. that were not apparent to me in a sober state. Overall, I write sober, but sometimes I finish wasted. How about that for a book title Start Sober, Finish Wasted? Anyhow, it does work to an extent. You just have to decide to what extent. I recorded two sets one time performing with my band just to see if it made a difference. The second set was better than the first. Not just better but noticeably better. I'd like to attribute that to the fact that we were bombing tequila and dos equis.
I'm not afraid to be who I'm not - Notice I said I'm not afraid to be who I'm not, not I'm not afraid to be who I am. They are really the same thing. That means that I am not afraid to let the music speak through me, regardless of what it says and in what voice in which it is presented. If I want to rap, I rap. If I want to singer songwriter, I singer songwrite. I don't let a brand, specific identity or social pressure determine the type of art I create. That's why I say I'm not afraid to be who I'm not. If someone who "knows" me sees me in my resting state as a normal person doing normal shit I am not afraid to break that perception when I create. Sure you get a whole lot of naysayers and "you're not a this or that" type people, but that has nothing to do with creating art that resides on another plane of existence. People don't get that, but I do and that's why my shit is great in my honest opinion.
I understand the current societal order - This speaks to point 6. I know that sometimes we have to operate within the system to survive and I'm really fucking good at doing that. This is why I created this brand. I know that if all of the information is presented, people are more likely to accept it because it is a complete product that people can contextualize. This involves being creative and figuring out new ways to do old shit. I'm really no different than any other great artist, I just know how to manipulate the leavers a little better than most. I know that people need the pop shots and memes as well as more in depth material that articulates how you arrived at whatever thought or belief that you are presenting.
I listen to myself and take outside influence with a grain of salt - All people have an inner light guiding them to where they are supposed to go. Some people call this god, the universe or intuition. Whatever it is, I listen to it. I know that voice has the answers. It has the answers because it has experience. While others may have experience in whatever I'm trying to do, most people don't. Because of this I take outside influence with a grain of salt and only let people's proven track records provide potential insight into my direction. Sometimes, I don't even listen to that because as I mention in my podcast on the things I learned about life driving through Mexico in a camper, even experts can be wrong. So, I take it with a grain of salt.
Because it makes me happy - I think some of the above listed points such as the head injuries I sustained have always put me in a mild state of depression for most of my life. I don't really wake up stoked to do anything and never really have. I mean I do it and that process makes me happy, but the endless cycle of going from failure to failure can be deafening. The only way for me to experience true joy is through creation. I know it's the one thing I can do that will lead me to the right place mentally.
I don't let people influence me - I've talked about this in my podcast on the 14 things a real artist does. People and society are constantly trying to impose their will on your reality. Good thing is that we get to choose which parts of this order we want to keep or reject. I don't let other people's opinions or wishes influence my work. If I'm creating a product, I know that there may be certain rules I have to follow in order to monetize that product, but I will only follow those rules if they provide a return or proven outcome. Everything else is up to me to decide because my process has given me experience that only I have, one that other people's influence and opinions don't.
My reality is what I make it, mostly - Sure there are situations that I can't control but there are plenty I can. Things I want to do but can't have, you know that whole trap or whatever you want to call it.