Why You're Never Going to Find "The One" on a Dating App

Michael Manicotti

I am a dating app veteran.

I am also a real life dating veteran.

But I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that dating apps, online dating whatever the hell you want to call it are hurting us.

Here's why:

They consume more time than it would take to have a real interaction with someone you found attractive or interesting - Nobody wants to talk to anyone. This is a result of how our social media based society has held people less accountable for being real people. Most people's lives and images online are fake, or half truthed us into believing that this person is anyone other than who they actually are. This mentality has given birth to the dating app revolution where we all want to hide behind our phone in order to meet "the one". This has made us become socially retarded in real life and no nobody knows how to act at all. Girls even tell me they are suprised when someone approaches them because that never happens, yet these same gals have explosive internet dating lives. But none of these interactions that people are having in the digital world are real and all the time you spend swiping could be spent talking to someone in person. Your success rate would be higher too. I might make it a point in another post on how to get off internet dating and become involved in the real world.

They put us in the lives of people we are not meant to interact with - Do you ever wonder why this attractive person you met on the dating app has nothing to offer you when you show up? Everything that they had in their mind just floats out the window because the fantasy no longer syncs up with reality. That's because it is a fantasy. This person is not even from another planet, but another universe and they have nothing to offer your species. Sure you might be able to find some common ground, but that is all fluff for what you both know is not there. In our real lives we have real interests, real careers that are important to us and an endless amount of other things that this person you just subjected yourself to may or may not even value.

They create a painful cycle of rejection and sense of loss on a daily basis that we don't experience in nature - Imagine if every single animal you tried to eat in caveman days evaded you. You would die. The same thing is happened on dating apps. You might swipe for an hour and nobody ever responds. This fires dangerous messages in your brain to expunge yourself from the population because you have no value when in reality this is not true at all. If you look at point 1 and recognize that this person is in your circle unnaturally and you are trying to force an interaction or mating ritual. But this is what happens, we talk to someone, start to build a connection and then they ghost us. Or we have a great conversation and in person meeting with them and then they ghost us. This is all stuff that puts tremendous strain on even the most normal people because it subjects them to unnatural circumstances and constant loss. It's like when we spend money with cash it hits our pain centers. It's the same thing here.

Your dating profile and pictures are just that, text and pictures, they do not accurately depict who you are - If a dating app translated into my societal value every girl on them would be standing in line for impregnation right now. But they are not because these apps have a bullshit way of communicating our unique skills and value. They leave it up to someone else to determine that for us.

They cut you off from the real outside world that does value you as a person - If you never leave your house or you are swiping all the time because you're bored at the bar, you are exiting the real world and entering into a fantasy world in which there are no winners. It is an endless game of searching for Sasquatch. Needless to say, he never shows up and neither does your knight in shining armor because you are too busy buried in the screen of your cell phone. Just like the hot gal that commented to me that nobody ever comes up to her, the same thing is happening here. You are cutting yourself off from the outside world because you prioritize social media, memes and apps over interactions with real humans. In other words, you're not even giving them a chance to let you shine.

Just like social media, they destroy your inner world, steal away your light the light that will lead you to the right person - Every amazing couple that I have ever met, met in person. I'm sure there are examples of couples that are happily together, married or whatever but either they are the exception to the rule or they are trying to fulfill a dream or fantasy that has little to do with the other person that they are with. The other person is merely facilitating a dream that they both bought into. I mean that's perfectly fine, I guess, but in my experience, these apps dampen our ability to shine and go find the right people. So we instead settle for the wrong ones.

No dating app relationship or experience I have ever had has worked out in real life - I have been involved with some women that were a handful to deal with in real life that brought way more value than the low maintenance one I met on a dating app. There always seemed to be something missing. This is a primal component that we can't get from a picture. When someone experiences us in person there is a vibe the emit that cannot be captured with a dating app. If you didn't believe this to be true, then why do people go to concerts instead of just watching bands on the internet? It's because it makes them feel something that can't be felt behind a screen. Not just that but when you meet someone in person, however you do that, it allows you to participate in who they are before you commit to an action like going on a date or texting or whatever the interaction may be.