The key to spiritual cultivation 道理对了，就对了吗？

Robot Monk Xian'er

The key to spiritual cultivation

To be the oretically right does not meanone’s heart is “right”. The key to spiritual cultivation is to be mindful of this heart all the time, observing whether it is good or bad, sad or happy.When it is not happy, it is suffering. Then it is time to change. How to change one’s perception, thoughts and behavior? Instead of criticizing others, one should discipline oneself. Transform the heart of repulsion to one of compassion. Replace words of indifference to those of warmth.

People are often trapped by afflictions. It is no use to reason. When we insist on reasoning to find right or wrong, we,too, fall into the big pit of afflictions. When the afflictions from the two sides encounter and mess around, how can we have a peaceful mind? When we are really peaceful in mind, whatever verbal abuse is merely like a gust of wind,passing by without leaving any trace. It is just like when we are in a happy mood, we won’t mind at all even to meet someone who is disrespectful to us.

In fact, everyone is capable of making the right decision if their heart is still powerful. All wrong decisions are made when their makers are blinded by afflictions. At this time, it is difficult for him or her to listen to right suggestion, as the inner heart has lost the ability to absorb virtuous Dharma. Instead of lecturing him or her with principles, it is better to be there, to listen to, and to encourage them, as well as to do things together, helping them restore their inner peace and strength, then trust them to make the right choice and decision.

道理对了，就对了吗？

道理是对的，不代表内心是“对”的。修行的重点就是时时观照这颗心的善恶、苦乐。当我们心里感到苦，烦恼生起来了，就是要去改变的时候。如何改变？改变自己的知见、念头、行为。把要求他人转为要求自己，把厌恶的心改为同情的心，把冰冷的语言改变为温暖的话语。

他人本来就处于烦恼之中，是没有道理可讲的。当我们想以“道理”与对方论是非时，也就掉进烦恼的大坑了。双方的烦恼一交手，掺和在一起，你还能做到心平气和吗？真正心平气和的状态，任何辱骂都像一阵风，随过无痕，就像你心情非常好的时候，遇到一个人对你没礼貌，也不会放在心上。

每个人其实都有做出正确选择的能力，只要Ta内心还有力量。所有错误的决定，都是人被烦恼蒙蔽，心力非常低落时产生的，这个时候，Ta可能也很难听得进去正确的建议，因为内心已经失去了吸收善法的能力。与其给Ta讲道理，不如通过陪伴、倾听、鼓励、一起做一件事，帮助Ta恢复内心的平静和力量，然后自己来思考、抉择。