Day 59 - "Bosoms and Birthdays

Spanish Practices

Day fifty nine. Life behind the police lines in Lockdown Spain for a British couple and their three good legs cat. Today Bosoms and Birthdays

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Day 59 bosoms and birthdays

It is Day 59 of our Spanish Lockdown, Wednesday, there is a rumour that Mercadona has masks for sale in its stores, and if so we will buy some.

I notice that the UK Government is encouraging people to make their own out of sticky back plastic and a pair of Val’s old knickers, since the episode with the Blue Peter Advent Calendar where my poor construction of the thing allowed family retainer Reg to be scalded with boiling wax.. I would rather leave surgical mask making to, .. surgical mask makers.

The day is dry and there is some sunshine, enough to clear up the mess of dirty rain that fell last night covering every surface in Sahara sand, three good legs cat is having a bad day, he has had several of his ‘fits’ and horrifying sight where his right back leg comes unjointed and clearly gives him sharp pain that makes him spin around on the floor hissing in agony.

Although the medicine we give him helps with the inflammation, it doesn’t stop the pain. When we enter Phase 1 we will take him to the vet, if he does need an operation at least from Phase 1 there will be staff to look after him, and routine or non-emergency operations should resume then.

Day 59 and our friend Carmen’s birthday in lockdown, but she has treated herself to a new red phone, I think it might by an iPhone, she really wanted a red car, but that will also have to wait.

I messaged Juan the builder, not the gardener or the estate agent. He says that a plumber will call tomorrow at 4 to 5pm in the evening. The drip drip drip leak in the pool room might finally stop.

I caught a video of Sandi today called cleverly, of course Vox Tox, she was talking about the history of May Day.. social history is one of Sandi Toksvig’s favourite things, when she came to LBC it was my job to find and research at least a couple of ‘facts of the day’ for her.

No mean feat as the internet was really still in its infancy, so a mixture of slogging through Google and her mini book library of information allowed me to piece together the information for her the previous afternoon ready for her to arrive in the morning and turn it into sparkling, funny and interesting radio.

She is an amazing woman, I once brought in a very old Electrical Guide I had found in the loft of our house. It dated from 1920 and was full of frightening illustrations of gentlemen leaning over a full sink of water to fit an electric razor to the light fitting. She turned the booklet into twenty minutes of hilarious comedy.. genius.

I never made it to University, but my job at LBC was like being in the middle of a living University with so many guests that came in who were as clever as Sandi.

My first encounter with the Arts show I remember had an eclectic mix of guests there was their regular ballet correspondent and slightly built American lady who was forever going on about the Ballet Rambert, then a drunk comedic actor Terry Scott who arrived flustered and beetroot faced, reeking of Brandy who was probably appearing in a local pantomime, I think by then his TV career had ended except for his role as a voice on Dangermouse.

Then the final hour was the film Director Derek Jarman who had just made a film about the painter Caravaggio, that had a lot of male nudity in it.. one of those films that Channel Four used to show with a little triangle in the corner of the screen.

Indeed we would often sit around in the engineering department watching those films in the hope, for most of the engineers, that they might spot a naked breast.. or worse.

I remember we were casually watching one arts film and a lady with enormous exposed bosoms walked into shot, and we all gasped it was Angela, the Producer of the Arts Show that happened to be on the air down the corridor.

My Shift Leader Tony went galloping down to the studio, swinging the door open he announced to her “Hey Angela we’ve just seen your tits on Channel Four.” She turned toward him with disinterest “Oh that, I did that film in my modelling days, so what.” She said.

Just another evening working for LBC.

Day 59 and Chris has once again gone out for the weekly shop, he has returned with gin and cake, but no masks yet.

With the Spanish Government now considering the wearing of masks obligatory, we will probably have to wear one, if it gets us to Phase 1 and onward, then bring it on.