We lost, you know what it is. Crack this one open if you're ready to process the end of a weird, weird season. Don't forget your SSRIs — you've got Blue Balls.

Blue Ballers, we didn't expect to be recording this episode but we're pleased as punch to be sharing it with you. Jake and Trey sit down to revel in the conquest of 3-seed FC Cincy and the ensuing derby day playoff at Citi Field against the New Jersey Red Bulls. We break down the extra-innings PK shootout against Cincy and all the hardcore defensiv…

Sharp-eared Blue Ballers will know: we never expected to be here after last week. But after a 3-1 victory over visiting Cincy, we've got ourselves a three-game series and the extra motivating factor of a cross-town rival in the postseason. Could NYCFC actually make it to the second round of playoffs? Or was the defensive devastation we saw on Satur…

Rough week for New York, Blue Ballers! Jake & Trey hop on the mic to break down one of the most disturbingly toothless performances by NYCFC in club history, in a moment which needed anything but. We talk Santi self-sabotage, Trayvon’s late-game drama, Cushing’s tactical malpractice, and more. Plus a little on the state of the league, the state of …

Blue ballers, a 0-2 loss against Montreal to drop your boys to 6th has Jake and Trey feeling restless. So we've got another short one that turned out to be a long one on our hands. Your boys in blue break down the disarray to pull some positives out and keep the faith; we talk offensive ineffectiveness and playing-up / playing-down action. THEN: Cu…

Ahoy Blue Ballers and welcome back to another edition of your least-favorite favorite soccer pod, and boy did we miss you. After a bye week for both the boys and pod boys, Jake and Trey dive into the last two games of the team's current mini-streak. We talk Santi and Alonso's white hot run, how NYCFC can (or can not) hold it together to end a match…

Sunnier skies for us, Blue Ballers! An explosive 5-1 victory against New Jersey’s not-quite-finest has Jake and Trey feeling cautiously optimistic about the end of NYCFC’s season. But have Cushing’s children found their form? Or did the adrenaline of a Hudson River sweep give us a power boost we’ll be paying for heading into the end of the 2024 sea…

Blue ballers! We’re coming off an EVENTFUL two matches and ready to piece it all apart. Your Boys in Blue were in the press box for both the historic inaugural 5-1 shellacking by Philadelphia AND the GOAT’s visit to Gotham and the single secured point of the week. Is a last minute equalizer from James Sands enough to buoy our spirits? Or is a conti…

Welp! It's another dropped-points-from-a-first-half-lead show! Hope you guys enjoy it! Jake & Trey talk disappointments in DC, then pivot to crest chat, club identity politics, stadium renderings, and of course the briefest of double precaps for two marquee matches at home. Call your girlfriend, it's time you had the talk: you've got Blue Balls!…

Blue Ballers, we're just as grouchy as you but the content mines need excavating and your Boys in Blue are here to break it all down for you. We talk: Fernandez getting fooled around with by an uncomfortably touchy Unkel, Barraza's big shoes to fill, overlaps, possession, and penetrating passes galore, and also all the bad stuff. Plus: a little ban…

Welcome back Blue Ballers, as we've missed you truly and dearly and need to catch up. Jake and Trey conquer a ticking computer battery time bomb to talk all things dog days of August. We first embark on the journey of this past weekend, gleaning the small, medium, and big picture takeaways from an epic Chicago collapse. Then, a Leagues Cup recap an…

Listen to this one quick, ballers, because your boys in blue are here to recap NYCFC's stint in the two-leg Leagues Cup group stage! Do we talk extensively about the 0-0 draw and the hair-raising penalty shootout that put us in the knockout round? Not at all! Instead we talk about what we can and can't learn from the bizarre and at turns brilliant …

Good tidings BBers. We're back in the saddle after a week off and how oh how are we gonna cover all these damn matches. Your boys in blue get into it on the Chicago, Atlanta, and Orlando draws, pulling noticeable performances out of each. We talk McFarlane's steady seventeen-year-old hand, the Santi-Maxi Paradoxi, and Talles Magno's sudden and oppo…

The dog days of summer are upon us, Blue Ballers, and this week in Austin we felt it! After an encouraging 2-0 victory over Montreal at home, your boys in blue were humbled by Austin FC and Gyasi Zardes. Jake and Trey break down all the eastern european reasons why that happened, plus the struggles we're enduring as our beat up boys nurse their wou…

Bonjour Blue Ballers, and welcome back to another (short) week of your silly boys making silly noise. Jake is sick and he's much better at writing these things than me, so we're Swede-ing this episode description. (Remember "Be Kind, Rewind"? A relic of another time to be sure). This week we talk New York City FC's thrilling, yet not always satiati…

From third to sixth, from winning streak to losing streak, from hot to cold, NYCFC are back to their old tricks of dropping points to the low block and pinging balls anywhere except on-target. Jake and Trey break down two more losses to Nashville and the LA Galaxy this week, what they tell us about the team's strategic woes, and what bright spots m…

A frustrating match that began with a rain delay and ended with a 1-goal deficit, and that's the end of our winning streak! Your boys in blue are back to break down each play in this match — but because we do them all 48 times, the episode is 37 hours long. Have fun! We talk the early Mit-jection, goals not-quite-disallowed, continued Maxi-mum bril…

Do we even need to introduce this week's pod? Jake & Trey bask in the glory of a five-one victory and the return of Maxi "Miles" Moralez, the spiderman himself, the min-maxed maestro, the five-foot nothing colossus. But outside of Maxi's 24 minutes of play, there's plenty else to break down and your boys cover a feckless first half of tactical adju…

Blue Ballers, it's been a hell of a May! Your Pigeons have been stacking up points and with three more in the pocket coming home from Massachusetts, there's a lot to celebrate and a lot to break down. Jake and Trey dig in to Big Bird's big score, NYCFC's rock solid centerbacks, Gray growth and gravitas, Gil-turns, and more. Then: casino drama at NY…

Buona Settimana blue ballers and what a settimana it has BEEN. Your boys in blue have come off a triumphant and historic 9 point week, finishing up with a win in the provincial first Hudson River Derby in Queens. We are ready to cover it all, and by "we" we mean half of us as Jake couldn't make it to this one. But FEAR NOT as we brought on noted tw…

Blue Ballers, we are feeling FRESH AND FROSTY after our first road win in — a year?? against a feisty Toronto FC with a lot to say. Jake and Trey waste no time in breaking down the Toronto Tunnel Tiff in as much grisly detail as we've got — which is to say, not much! Then, some actual soccer. A 3-2 victory away gives us much to celebrate and MUCH t…

Folks, NYCFC crashed into a soggy wall out in Queens this weekend to fall to a hobbled Colorado 0-2. Jake and Trey don't want to be talking about it, but talk about it they do — complete with all the segments you've come to expect. Freese praise, Bakrar banter, a Santi survey, Jovanvestigations. Your boys in blue are playing the hits! PLUS: a Maxi-…

With three wins and five unbeaten, NYCFC just might be back folks — and your Boys in Blue are here to tell you how, why, and when it all happened. Jake and Trey break down a messy but massive 2-1 redemption win over Charlotte that saw goals from a gorgeous Big Bird header and wunderkind Alonso, plus our usual Freese flowers, nods to the wings, and …

Wonder of wonders, is NYCFC good now? A 2-0 victory against DC United would seem to press the question as Nick Cushing extends his lossless streak and Santi Rodriguez and Julian Fernandez both expand their accounts. We talk both goals, of course, plus effective team play, a broken-hearted Bakrar, Martens mania and the defense that contained the unc…

INCOMING! Something different on the pod this week? Jake & Trey wake up to find they have a WIN to celebrate and deconstruct, and some actual NYCFC momentum to analyze and ballyhoo. Your boys in blue talk Agustin Ojeda's nasty little account opener, a deepening defensive fight, Big Bird's bedrock balls, and much more. Plus: Open Cup prognostication…

Draw 2, back in the habit, and Jake and Trey are here to make it sacreligious with a savvy and incisive recap of a 1-1 draw against a threatening Atlanta at home. We talk stretched midfields, Katy Perrys, whiffs of goals and wiffs at goals, and so much more. Plus: tales from the press box, mumbles around Mijatovic, and of course a prompt precap of …

Blue Ballers, this one's for you. New York City FC returns this week having stolen a point from the big pink menace in Miami, featuring a first MLS goal and first MLS start for Alonso Martinez and some more-or-less remarkable performances elsewhere. Jake & Trey break down how the team stacks up against noted psychopath Luis Suarez and whether the m…

Blue ballers, we won't lie to you — there's no lipstick available for this pig! A mighty but ultimately outmatched effort from New York City FC left us with zero points away at a highly dominant Cincinnati. Jake and Trey break down the conflicted feelings following this match — was it good? was it shit? was it both? — and talk what we can learn abo…

After a gratifying 2-1 victory against visiting Toronto, your Blue Ballers are feeling Hot N' Ready to breakdown some good news, for once. Jake and Trey slice up the first victory of the season, including Santi's centrality, Bakrar's hunger and panic for goal, stud Keaton Parks' studs-up challenge, and more. Then: a check-in with Gotham FC as the N…

Back in the saddle and twice as pissed, your boys in blue are back to recap the degradation kink demo that was New York City FC’s first ever home opener loss to the very Portland Timbers. One goal from Santi Rodriguez was not enough for the boys to bask in, and scared coaching left us scratching our heads as the Timbers knocked two past our timbs t…

Welcome back Blue Ballers. You're not gonna like the way we looked — I guarantee it. Our second match of the season yielded no points and no goals, continuing an abysmal streak away and resetting a sense of dread that will surely remain until at least one ball finds the back of the net. Will that happen this week at home? Jake and Trey break down t…

Welcome to the end of the blue decade, Blue Ballers, and the beginning of SEASON TEN of NYCFC madness, brought to you by your own Boys in Blue. A special salute to the ballers who've been with us since the Obama Era, through thick and thin, from Kreis to Cup -- this one's for you. But that's about as triumphant as we're getting this time around, be…

Shake off those blue suede shoes and get ready for action -- because it's very nearly Season Ten and Blue Balls is BACK! Jake & Trey tie a bow onto a banner preseason featuring some of the most exciting new blues in YEARS. We chat J's three ways, with Jovan, Ojeda, and Jones all getting the Blue Balls treatment. And then: glory of glories, it's the…

Just when you thought we were out, they pull us back in again! The season is hot incoming and at long last there's some NYCFC news to report on, piece apart, celebrate, and bitch about -- so you know your Boys in Blue are hunting down the scoops as transfer rumors become transfer realities. Jake and Trey break down one confirmed signing and two lik…

(alt. title: Madame B-Over-y & One H-Under-ed Years Of Solitude) We made it, folks. We staggered our way through this rocky season, careening from road loss to road loss, searching always for some sliver of hope. And in doing so, we saw a lot. Trades, sales, ups, downs, debuts and departures -- wretched record or not, this was an eventful ninth NYC…

Your boys in blue have a treat for you this week — Jake and Trey are joined by the illustrious DAN AVIDAN (Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party) who flexes his bonafides as an OG fan of NYNJ soccer and a stalwart NYCFC supporter from season one. Your starstruck hosts cannot help but get into full-on interview mode with Dan, but worry not: the threesome als…