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When you’re filming a movie or a television show, when it’s the last shot of the day, the first assistant director will call out, “This is the Martini Shot!” I call these stories “Martini Shots” because they’re exactly the kinds of stories we tell — and lessons we learn — after we’ve wrapped for the day. - Rob Long theankler.com
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As a professional model and actress since 1993, Valerie Bittner has seen and learned a lot. While still actively working in TV, film, and print, she enjoys sharing what she's learned over the years consulting on marketing and helping others get into the entertainment industry. This is The Martini Shot — Valerie's podcast — where if you or someone you know is an aspiring actor or model, the advice is invaluable.
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Rob knows a quote . . . from which Chinese philosopher, he’s not sure. It goes, “If you sit by the river long enough, you will see the body of your enemy float by.” Showbiz translation: If you stay in Hollywood long enough, you’ll see Paramount bought and sold many times over. Transcript here. Subscribe here for more showbiz news from The Ankler. L…
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No doubt, the internet and technology vastly improved the tedious labor of writing scripts and making revisions. But Rob Long believes something was lost in the disappearance of an actual paper trail: Archaeological artifacts that reveal the process of jokes moving, characters losing lines, and test audiences wanting (and getting) a happy ending. A…
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Remember the Burger King Kids Club, the chain’s ad campaign targeted to “the kids?” There was Kid Vid, the white, video game-playing leader; Jaws, the Black kid who loved to eat; and a boy in a wheelchair named (seriously) Wheels. The idea, Rob Long speculates, must have been devised at one of those offsite retreats, the kind TV execs love to do in…
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Legendary fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld once complained about the way a room was decorated: “It was a lot of Louis Quinze mixed with Louis Seize,” he said. And then added: “Ugh!” The entertainment business runs on this sort of Lagerfeldian Ugh, a sort of lingua franca of Hollywood. But what if we tried, just for a while, to not slag others as con…
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Howard the Duck might not have won Best Picture, but if you’re a sandwich shop worker, or a young Rob Long at lunch with high-up producers, it’s probably best not to espouse how big a flop you thought it was. See, failure in Hollywood is a relative term. Movies fail, pilots fail, but after a failure of your own, it’s tough to see anything that make…
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When Orson Welles found an investor for a cheap little noir thriller, legend has it he devised a scheme. His opening sequence took up almost 10 pages of script, with descriptions and action all spread out. Except when he actually filmed it, he used only a high-tension, 12-minute “virtuoso” single tracking shot that became signature to Touch of Evil…
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Sixty percent of Americans say they read the Bible regularly. But in Hollywood, where Jesus and religion can feel — how do you say it — downmarket, people rely instead on the series bible, where writers flesh out their TV series’ characters, situations and possible future episodes. But Rob Long suggests Hollywood, much like he has, take a fresh loo…
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When Rob Long pitches anything these days, he knows that he’s not going to sell that idea in the room. That’s over. But he wouldn’t be upset if he didn’t hear, “Fun stuff. We’ll talk internally and get back to you.” What’s fun about that? If we can identify fun — rather than fun stuff — the entertainment industry can get back to being like that big…
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Rob Long loved his tailor — a man who ran his shop with unpredictable, cigarette-stained weirdness. But when he died, the business became faster, and it was easier to communicate with the staff. It was even open into the evenings. The new and improved shop certainly made for a better business. But the old tailor, for all his idiosyncrasies, was hig…
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Rob Long’s friend once wrote a line for a TV show where a character reveals he doesn’t have voicemail. You see, the character, explains, “I don’t get important phone calls.” The network executive in charge, however, was not having it, bellowing that no one would care about someone not important enough to not get important calls. And that was that. …
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Liza Minelli, Private Detective. Sounds pretty good, right? Unfortunately, the series — Rob Long’s brainchild — will never see the light of day. Rob was told Minelli was “not available,” and in show business, when someone’s unavailable, you move on. It’s one of those unwritten rules, or mysterious studio lists, that we all believe in. But are any o…
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Whether trekking to the cable store or preparing for the TSA line, Rob Long expects disappointment. Not because he’s inherently negative, you see. Show business, and all its grinding rejection, has molded him into a pessimist. So, Rob questions whether we are all too invested in our work here (the answer: yes). And how we can be prepared — and read…
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Bette Davis famously answered “take Fountain” — an L.A. street with fewer lights — when asked her advice for actors starting out. Thing is, the questioner didn’t actually want practical advice. In fact, most of us say we want the truth when we actually prefer our feelings to be protected. Which is why executives wind up delivering notes with fluffy…
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Every question that comes up in Hollywood these days is really a variation on money, and the big one on everyone’s minds is: how are we going to make buckets of money in the TV business again? By reinventing an already reinvented model, says Rob Long. Hate the ad model coming for streaming? Well, Rob says consider it akin to the cover charge and dr…
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Ever hear of iPartment? It was a Chinese knockoff of Friends, with some Big Bang Theory rolled in, that received complaints from viewers over lines and scenes ripped directly from these American shows. Outright joke stealing is, of course, wrong, but Rob Long can’t help but also ponder the full spectrum of today's content “borrowing” — whether it’s…
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An entertainment CEO’s to-do list for the year could include, among other boring and depressing things: layoffs, a merger with Paramount, a sell-off of local TV stations, an acquisition of Lionsgate, and the making of one’s quarterly debt payment. Long to-do lists are, however, as a psychiatrist once told Rob Long, self-sabotage. So instead, he sug…
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Rob Long loves Christmas presents — expensive ones, preferably — and money. Lots of money. It’s an affliction that impacts everyone in entertainment, he argues, where enough is never enough. Even during a particularly confusing and hard year, we’re lucky to be able to complain about the work most of us do, which Rob realized at the paint store. And…
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This week, Rob Long reminds us that nobody likes to work for free — which is why, more often than not, writers find themselves in a tricky predicament. In an ideal world, a writer gets hired off a pitch. But other times, the writer ends up drafting a script on spec, a.k.a for free. And even when a writer does sell a pitch, the executives who buy it…
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According to Karl Marx, “history repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as farce.” And in the eyes of Rob Long, so, too, does material in the entertainment industry. When something works as a drama, for example, people will try to find a way to jigger it into a comedy (cue the side-splitting version of Breaking Bad). Most films and shows these days…
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This week, Rob Long explains his number one rule for sharing emotions in entertainment-industry relationships: Don’t. After all, the best and longest-lasting relationships in Hollywood are the ones that stay frozen in place, uncomplicated by unnecessary interactions until there’s a business reason to reconnect. Also: never confuse love for you with…
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When asked an honest opinion about someone’s appearance, you’ve likely enacted the Fix-It Rule: that is, if someone has the ability to do something about it — a stray hair, for example — you say something; if it’s congenital, well, you keep your mouth shut (or lie). That philosophy extends to Hollywood too, where almost everything is fixable, but e…
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Ever notice the insecurity of those flying to and from L.A.? Everyone is discretely eyeballing everyone else, figuring out who is in first class, and — in the case of one agent Rob Long met at the airport — over-explaining why he was not. You see, in an industry where people rise and fall, and often outright disappear, visible status symbols take o…
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Bone marrow biopsy? Hahahaha. Or so says Rob Long, who, after his procedure (he was fine!) was able to find the comedy — something that weirdly arrives in the wake of high-stakes moments, particularly around death, disease and crisis. So the world seems like it’s falling apart, but this time for real? As a writer who has spent decades in the comedy…
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With the writers strike ended, execs all over town are figuring out which pitches they agreed to pre-walkout actually will get produced. Like chefs taking food out of the freezer, suits give a sniff test — assessing what kept on ice can be safely thawed out, and which should be tossed. And as Rob Long explains, the most dangerous place to be — in a…
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The industry today sorely lacks optimism, says Rob. How to get it back? Harness the memory of your early-career freedom. For more news on the entertainment industry subscribe to The Ankler at theankler.com/subscribe. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/s…
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From “enemy friends” to awkward former colleagues, Rob dives into the ins and outs of making amends in the entertainment industry, even with people you didn’t know disliked you. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choic…
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Rob Long compares the WGA strike to having been stuck on a joke, and re-imagines the last five months as a mini (bad) vacation. For more news about the entertainment business, go to theankler.com/subscribe. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe L…
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The worst thing you can tell anyone in entertainment is to calm down. Typically, nothing escalates a fight further, particularly in this industry. For news about Hollywood, please go to TheAnkler.com/subscribe. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscri…
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When it comes to firing your agent, Rob Long explains what used to happen, what happens now, and how it's all going to come full circle. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…
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Rob Long on the art of landing a Hollywood side gig more lucrative than your main gig. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices由TheAnkler.com
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With Hollywood bringing out the worst behavior in most of us, Rob Long asks why the phrase execs use to dismiss actors and writers isn't also said of those at top. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit mega…
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Rob Long on what teachers can and can't teach you. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices由TheAnkler.com
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TV shows used to be 21 minutes an episode. How everything got way too long This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices由TheAnkler.com
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Studios and networks come and go. Which reminds us: we're saddled with a glut of under-loved streaming services. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…
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Forget every formula for screenwriting success. If you can keep the audience engaged, you’ve cracked the code. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…
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Do something elevating right now, because, remember: everything you hate about this business now, you still will when the strike is over. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…
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What the dual strike negotiation and post-production on a TV series have in common. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices由TheAnkler.com
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OnlyFans is a subscription-based platform that experienced massive growth and changed the way people make money. Sound familiar? This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…
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With Sun Valley underway, Rob Long today imagines our showbiz moguls staring at the stars, wondering how it all went so wrong. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…
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How animals on the African savanna are the quadruped analog of showbiz — but actually honest. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices由TheAnkler.com
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Rob Long shares the industry hacks and lessons that come with being "old" in Hollywood. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices由TheAnkler.com
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Rob Long on how to combat self-doubt in the worst place for it in the world. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices由TheAnkler.com
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The political industry — like Hollywood — now fights on the fringes and in the niches of any given base (a.k.a. the audience). This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…
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Rob Long looks at A.I., a main sticking point in contract negotiations between the studios and labor unions. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…
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How things went array when entertainment turned into a subscription business This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices由TheAnkler.com
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Rob Long says it isn't 'woke' culture but media companies that killed the genre. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices由TheAnkler.com
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Today, Rob Long explains Hollywood’s world of hierarchy and one-upmanship, where having not one but THREE assistants tells the world just how much busier you are than others. It’s all a bit of an ensemble comedy, this business, but at this particular moment, strike and all, Rob says it feels as if the studios and streamers believe they should have …
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With the writers strike upon us, WGA member Rob Long presents the story of two friends and their three-bean salad as a cautionary tale for writers and streamers, er, rather just streamers. And why, sometimes, everyone throws up at once. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, v…
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Rob identifies the standard rules in the entertainment business to make a creative idea work. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices由TheAnkler.com
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Rob Long explains why, for the first time in his 33 years as a WGA member, he’s supporting a strike action. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit theankler.com/subscribe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices…
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