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The Horror of Nachos and Hamantaschen

The Horror of Nachos and Hamantaschen

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Join marginally popular dark fiction author J.R. Hamantaschen (“You Shall Never Know Security,” “With a Voice that is Often Still Confused But is Becoming Ever Louder and Clearer,” several unrequited love letters) and Derek Sotak (“Nachonomics,” “The Field Guide to Nachos,” “Nachos & You,” and a violent call to arms to be uncovered circa 2025) as they discuss the world of horror in (what is hopefully perceived to be) a light-hearted, frivolous and irreverent way. Those are all three words th ...
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If you watched the opening of the first X-Files movie and said, "I need me more of that cave man horror!", 2022's 'Out of Darkness' is not that. What is it? Well, certainly not a film anyone who knew how to market a cave man based drama was involved in. Derek spouts some Neanderthal conspiracy nonsense, and JR seems to think people in movies are re…
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In our most provocatively titled film since “Butt Boy”, 2024’s “Daddy’s Head” is sure to get you on a list if you google it too much. “Daddy’s Face” would technically be more accurate, especially since you wouldn’t want to confuse this with some sort of “Head of the Family” or “Re-Animator” animated head scenario. What’s the scenario instead? Alien…
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For a series that uses so many forward slashes in its titles that it tanks its SEO, 2024’s “V/H/S/Beyond” is somewhat of an outlier for the 7th film in a franchise. Sure, it still has multiple shorts involving bros dropping the f-bomb constantly, but it does seem to be trying to get BEYOND that. Does it succeed? Better give this a listen because no…
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In this time of political strife candidates in their 70’s are one thing, but septuagenarian sexual monster bad boy serial killers are quite another. In 2008’s ‘Embodiment of Evil’, Coffin Joe gets released from jail 40 years after the last film to find that the world might not be quite the place for an old man with gross monster finger nails. Has J…
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OctJOEber continues with Joe up to his ol’ hijinks in 1967’s “This Night I’ll Possess Your Corpse”, moving him from Universal Monster territory to Hammer Horror territory. If you wondered what José Mojica Marins would do with a bigger budget and longer running time, wonder no longer. Torture dungeons, secret laboratories, hunchbacked assistants, sc…
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OctJOEber begins with our introduction to that rapscallion Coffin Joe in 1964's 'At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul'. It's like a forgotten Universal Monster film, but with more beatings and Nietzschian philosophy. Start growing out your fingernails and get ready to continue your bloodline.由The Horror of Nachos & Hamantaschen
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Take off yer 10-gallons and fill them with a bunch of paper scraps with horror movies written on them, ‘cause the boys done did a live roundup! Not RECORDED live mind you, but they did sit in the same room and watch 2024’s ‘Abigail’, 1987’s ‘StageFright’, and 2022’s ‘Influencer’, so that’s kind of the same thing, right? Right? Also, NYC got Derek s…
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You might think that 2023’s ‘Loop Track’ is time travel related with a name like that. You stupid fool, you’ve just given away that you’re some kind of sci-fi nerd and are not correctly associating the titular term with hiking. How embarrassing for you. I recommend you listed to this episode immediately and learn how wrong you are, and also about t…
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Get outta here Harryhausen, there’s a new stop motioneer here, namely director Robert Morgan with his 2023 film ‘Stopmotion’. Forget about the California Raisins, Wallace & Gromit, and Yukon Cornelius, those are for last millennium’s children. Kids these days like their stop motion like their chicken nuggets, gross and meaty, and this has meat for …
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Are you a lover of antiquated tedious methods of art making AND stories that are sold as being ghost filled but aren’t? Boom, check out ‘The Mezzotint” by M.R. James, an author renowned for his ghost stories that don’t actually feature ghosts. How do you get to be 'the ghost story guy’ without writing about ghosts you ask? LISTEN AND FIND OUT.…
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Are you ready for our hottest and sweatiest episode yet with plenty of banging? You better be, because we are covering Karl Edward Wagner’s “Where the Summer Ends”, and also the place next to JR’s is under construction or something and there’s a bit of hammering in the background for parts of the show. Listen along for the tale of THE VINE THAT ATE…
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A lot of people come to me and ask, “Where evil lurks?” or, “Why evil lurks?” or even, “How evil lurks?” Sometimes I even get a, “Who evil lurks?” Obviously the only correct question is, “When evil lurks?”, to which the answer is the 2023 Argentine film ‘Cuando Acecha la Maldad’. As for “What evil lurks?”, well, you’ll have to listen to find out.…
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Are you an Evil Dead fan but think its biggest downside is not being Japanese enough? Good thing ‘Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell', a.k.a. 'The Japanese Evil Dead' exists. And you can watch it right now! And then listen to the boys talk about it! And then listen as they go off about ‘Late Night with the Devil’ for half the episode!…
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You may not realize it in 2024, but there was once a time when people hadn’t heard of Stephen King, and I’m not talking about the billions of years just prior to his birth. When he was an up-and-coming author he used to be hungry and wrote with an edge, something easily forgotten in the intervening 40+ years of writing. The boys discuss Night Shift…
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After a long hiatus the boys are back, and have on their their their their their boogie shoes for the 2023 loosely-based-on-a-Stephen-King-story ‘The Boogeyman’. Is Mike Flanagan’s ‘Absentia’ too extreme for you? Here’s the training wheels version of that to show your impressionable, Stranger Things loving teens. At least they changed the monster f…
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The gang bids the island life behind as they finish up ‘The Island of Doctor Moreau’ and reflect back on their long strange journey. Is it even possible to live a normal life after living with beast folk so long? Maybe, if you’re not a milquetoast Prendick that is. That’s the moral of the book BTW.由The Horror of Nachos & Hamantaschen
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Was Dean Koontz inspired to write 1989’s ‘Midnight’ based on ‘The Island of Doctor Moreau’? Does getting a goat testicle transplant increase vitality? Does Doctor Moreau deliver as good a dialogue on pleasure and pain as Pinhead? Does an Ox wave its tail when happy? Does Derek know any Green Day songs? All these questions, and more, in our coverage…
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Moreauvember continues with the gang’s review of the first third of H.G. Wells’ ‘The Island of Doctor Moreau’. Everyone focuses on the plight of the Beast Folk, but nobody dives into the sad life of Montgomery, who just wants to tell the sad story about how he got roped into this whole animal transformation business and nobody wants to hear it. Don…
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Fun fact: In the space of four years H.G. Wells wrote ‘The Time Machine’, ‘The Invisible Man’, ‘The Island of Doctor Moreau’, and ‘The War of the Worlds’. Is there a greater four year grand slam than that? Tune in, Moreauvember begins now. Don’t forget your beast folk.由The Horror of Nachos & Hamantaschen
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Have we ever covered an animated film before? I honestly can’t even remember after all these episodes. Anyhow, the gang watches 1997’s ‘Perfect Blue’, a.k.a., the movie you’ve probably seen shots copied from in most Darren Aronofsky films, the most comprehensive version of a Giallo, or, the anime you could use as a measure of the quality of the art…
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While certainly not an Armageddon/Deep Impact situation, 1998’s ‘The Last Broadcast’ is often lumped in, unfairly, as the mirror to The Blair Witch Project. This is much to its loss as it is certainly no Blair Witch, but also because it has a completely different flavor of “found footage” in its inclusion of cable access shows, MIRC logs, and true …
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On the one hand we have JR missing the twist of 2019’s ‘Body at Brighton Rock’ so hard that it would be like not realizing Bruce Willis was dead after watching The 6th Sense, and on the other we have Derek confusing the production story of Predator (the script for which was originally titled ‘Hunter’) with the 2003 film ‘The Hunted’. We both lose. …
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Are you looking for a film about little monsters laying siege to an Irish manor with all the “fun” of Straw Dogs but none of the humor of Gremlins? 2022’s ‘Unwelcome’ might just be the film for you! Worst case scenario you get a 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon crossover between The MCU, Game of Thrones, and Star Trek……
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2022’s ‘Soft & Quiet’ may have hit theaters in exactly the way that its name implied, but that makes sense when its entire plot is best experienced knowing nothing about it ahead of time. It does introduce cinema’s third most provocative pie (American Pie, #1, The Help, #2) so don’t go in hungry. If you learn nothing from the marketing of ‘A Ghost …
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Not to be confused with the 2022 TV series, the 2000 James Spader/Keanu Reeves film, nor the 1987 psychic dog vs. monster dog novel by Dean Koontz, no, this is the 2022 film about Maika Monroe being followed by a malicious force, but not the 2014 film about Maika Monroe being followed by a malicious force. Makes sense? Plus, more stories from JR’s …
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The boys wrap up children and evil holes month with a film that barely qualifies for having an evil hole, 2007’s ‘The Orphanage’. Not to be confused with ‘The Devil’s Backbone’, this was the other movie about a Spanish orphanage that came out in the mid-2000s and had involvement from Guillermo del Toro in an odd Antz/Bug’s Life, Dante’s Peak/Volcan…
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While mysterious holes are the #1 cause of evil children, #2 is mysterious pits, especially if they’re full of monsters. 1981’s horror-comedy ‘The Pit’ gives you the trifecta of troglodytes, evil teddy bears, and snotty Canadian children who can’t even be mean right. If you’re not sold already, as an added bonus there’s plenty of ‘The Littlest Hobo…
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Did you know that mysterious holes are the #1 cause of children turning evil? Doesn’t matter if it was made by changelings, other Fae, aliens, bug monsters, or evil spirits, you have a kid, keep them clear of all mysterious holes. If only the adults in 2023’s ‘There’s Something Wrong With The Children’ had listened to Derek and JR’s parenting advic…
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The Kevin Williamson series train reaches the end of the line with his newest film, the COVID horror movie ‘Sick’. Global pandemic not scary or personal enough? Throw in a little of that slasher magic to bring in on home for you. And of course a very special shout out to Aarman Touré as uncredited guy with pizza.…
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Another poster of just teenager’s faces without any information about the film? Must be another 90’s Kevin Williamson film! 1999’s ‘Killing Mrs. Tingle’, er, I mean ‘Teaching Mrs. Tingle’, because maybe in the immediate aftermath of Columbine a movie names after killing a teacher was not the way to go and changing it to be more “educational” was “b…
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The boys continue their Kevin Williamson retrospective (and movie posters only highlighting the faces of its actors with no implication as to what the film is about) with 1997’s ‘The Faculty’. Does all that meta horror dialogue work as well when you replace it with meta sci-fi dialogue? Take a bump of caffeine pills and tune in to find out.…
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The boys dive into the oeuvre of writer Kevin Williamson, well, his non-Scream, non-TV, non-werewolf related oeuvre that is. 1997’s ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’, is exactly what you’d expect from a 90’s teen slasher, and the behind-the-scenes-at-Miramax grossness is also about what you’d expect. I guess the killer dressing in the vein of fishi…
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The boys wrap up Pride Month with the film that inspired the Godsmack song ‘Voodoo’, Wes Craven’s 1988 Bill Pullman horror vehicle, ‘The Serpent and The Rainbow’. Where exactly does it fall on the voodoo cultural insensitivity spectrum between ‘Live and Let Die’ and ‘Weekend at Bernie’s 2’? You’ll just have to listen to our 300th episode spectacula…
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If you thought that ‘Mandy’ moved too fast for you, the boys cover another Panos Cosmatos film that might be more your speed. Despite what you may have heard, ‘Beyond the Black Rainbow’ is not a sequel to last week’s ‘Black Rainbow’, and is probably closer in tone to ‘Reading Rainbow’. Indeed, you watch this one under the right circumstances (recom…
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The boys begin Pride Month with the under seen 1989 Rosanna Arquette film ‘Black Rainbow’. Also, instead of patting yourself on the back and thinking you’re doing good because you acknowledged something rainbowey this month, maybe actually go help some disenfranchised people? To apply this to the film, be a Tom Hulce, not a Jason Robards.…
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A stuffed animal, a Ghostface, a Dracula, Panama! In the final roundup of this NYC visit (which could not be contained to just one physical location) the boys talk 2019's 'Benny Loves You', 'Scream 6' and the franchise as a whole, and Nic Cage's return to not straight to streaming films in 'Renfield'. Opinions vary.…
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The boys CLICKBAIT REVIEW more MOVIES. JR goes VIRAL and FUMES about 2021’s “Ultrasound”, leaving listeners speechless. Derek ABSOLUTELY DESTROYS 2021’s “Let the Wrong One In”, but ABSOLUTELY LOVES its script. Lastly, you’ll NEVER BELIEVE the NEWLY UNEARTHED bog men in 2022’s “Moloch”, but they might MAKE YOU BOYCOTT it. 3 HOT TAKES on movies the d…
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The boys are live and reviewing some old, some new, and then some other movie. For something old, not to be confused with Robert Downey Jr.’s star turning vehicle, 1989’s Tetsuo The Iron Man gives those early David Lynch vibes with a dash of metal fetishry. The new is 2023’s From Black, a film that is just daring the creative team behind A Dark Son…
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The boys finish up The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and surprise, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde are the same person! Hopefully that 137 year old spoiler won’t ruin your reading of the story, because even with that knowledge it is still a very good tale. Just imagine if you were a prude Victorian reading it for the first time though, oh what a…
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The boys dig into the first half of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and while it's not particularly "strange" yet, it's getting there. It does give a new meaning to Antoine Dodson saying, "Hyde yo kids", as it could get you between $70 and $700 thousand. Robert Louis Stevenson didn't know what money was worth.…
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In one of the oldest reviews of the podcast, the boys check out the 1886 Robert Louis Stevenson classic, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, notably in the form of the 2022 Leslie S. Klinger annotated version. Before you even start, we know it should be pronounced “Jee-Kill” and not “Jeck-Ill”, but don’t be the weirdo that says it like tha…
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The gang is watching the only horror-comedy from the director of 'Hobo with a Shotgun' that's loosely based on the 1967 Shag Harbour UFO Incident, 2022's 'Kids vs. Aliens'. If you liked the last segment from V/H/S/2 but wished the characters weren't garbage and it was 75 minutes long your wish is granted! Channel your inner 12-year-old and hear abo…
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Tired of the worn out and offensive trope of special needs people having magic powers? Well you better give The Innocents a pass then! If you can overlook that however, this tale of Norwegian children discovering that they possess strange and undefined powers could be a Chronicle or Scanners, but for kids. Much less, but not zero, head trauma thoug…
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Forget your washed up Hollywood stars, mopey billionaires in limos, and boring psychiatrists, Cronenberg is back on that body horror goop train baby! The boys watch a sadly Nick Cage/Cave free version of 2022’s Crimes of the Future, which is not to be confused with Cronenberg’s 1970 film of the same name. What’s changed in the last 52 years with hi…
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Finally, someone telling you about a dream, but you are actually interested in hearing about it! Are you interested in hearing about it for 100 minutes though? Depending on that answer you may be into the buzzy TikTok amped Skinamarink, or you might find it to be the most boring film ever. Give it a listen before some monster steals your doors, win…
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The boys get back to their roots and continue the Moorhead-Bensonathon with Something in the Dirt (2022), which should not be confused namewise with Ben Wheatley's In The Earth, or contentwise with David Robert Mitchell's Under the Silver Lake. Or Richard Kelly's Southland Tales. Or Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead's first film Resolution.…
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The boys mosey back to the farm with another roundup of horror, so imagine last week, but more! They cover Dead Space 3, Dead Space 2023, A Wounded Fawn, Heck, The Last of Us, Infinity Pool, and Tenebrae. Lot of video games and giallo huh? Hope that’s what you’re in the mood for.由The Horror of Nachos & Hamantaschen
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