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East Coast siblings Amy and Stu, and their friends Pat and Mel, have pledged to watch every Western. Along the way, they'll try to determine who brought the face, observe the Great American Coot in its natural habitat, and search for the best saloon. Listen in and...watch yourself out there on the trail! Check out some of our best episodes! #70 - Tombstone #66 - Boot Hill #55 - Sartana's Here...Trade Your Pistol for a Coffin #51 - Christmas Mountain #35 - The White Buffalo #30 - Rango #28 - ...
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Every week screenwriter Bob Schneider and comedian Dan Wilbur discuss a movie you've probably never seen.
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Forty Guns directed by Samuel Fuller and starring Barbara Stanwyck, Barry Sullivan and Dean Jagger. Episode Roundup: The cowpunchers are faced with relentless induendos in this 1950s Western. We handle it about as well as a handful of middle schoolers. Mel thinks that Griff's normal walk might be his super power. Stu is impressed by a large gatheri…
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Ravenous directed by Antonia Bird and starring Guy Pearce, Robert Carlyle, and David Arquette. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers cook up a great discussion after watching this Halloween treat that gave them a lot to chew on! Amy draws a connection between MLMs and cannibalism. Stu makes that case that President Grant was a wendigo.…
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Rio Bravo directed by Howard Hawks and starring John Wayne, Dean Martin and Ricky Nelson. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers accidentally ruin Rio Bravo for themselves, but hopefully, not for you! Stu threatens enter the spirit realm in order to contact John Wayne. Mel deletes Jerry Lewis from her memory. Amy proposes a Roman style leadership structu…
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Frontier Marshal directed by Allan Dwan and starring Randolph Scott, Nancy Kelly, and Cesar Romero. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are nearly overrun by an infestation of cowboys. Amy seeks directions to the next whiskey cart. Mel advises you to not threaten the people you like. Stu gets a lesson in how Vaudeville actors defend themselves in viol…
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The Last of the Mohicans directed by Michael Mann and starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Madeleine Stowe and Russell Means. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are reminded why we threw the tea into the harbor. Mel finds this movie too close to her personal brand of stress dream! Amy does not recommend you get burned at the stake. Stu posits that the movie Th…
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Winchester '73 directed by Anthony Mann and starring Jimmy Stewart, Shelley Winters, Dan Duryea, and a gun. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers welcome you to the Gun Show. Amy regales us with tales of the One Rifle. Stu has all the Steve Miller Band puns you need. Mel heads over to the Sherwin Williams for a gallon of Dutch Henry Brown.…
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The Man from Snowy River directed by George Miller and starring Kirk Douglas, Tom Burlinson and Terence Donovan. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers go back to a rainy day horse camp to watch a cozy movie while the boys are away. Amy wants to wrap herself in this movie like a big fluffy blanket. Mel wants to know why all the old west jerks are named C…
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Light the Fuse...Sartana is Coming directed by Giuliano Carnimeo and starring Gianni Garko, Nieves Navarro, and Massimo Serato. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers revel in a festival of double-crosses. Stu is fascinated by the proliferation of tiny guns. Amy comes up with the follow up to the series "Is It Cake?"…
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True Grit directed by Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, starring Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Hailee Steinfeld. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers advise you to stay away from your local murder-hobo. Amy wonders why the Philadelphia Flyers Mascot - Gritty - was not included in either version of the film. Mel wonders if Matt Damon's "Matt Damon-ness" works fo…
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True Grit directed by Henry Hathaway and starring John Wayne, Kim Darby, and Glen Campbell. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers reflect on awful childhood haircuts. Mel warns us of the dangers of fourteen-year-old horse girls who are good at math. Amy successfully describes a snake pit. Stu is impressed by John Wayne's lumbering.…
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Annie Oakley directed by George Stevens, starring Barbara Stanwyck, Preston Foster and Melvyn Douglas. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch a 1930s biopic of Annie Oakley that is so loose with the facts that they forgot to put her husband in the film! Amy accidentally gets herself banned from watching any future Tobey Maguire Spiderman movies. St…
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Cattle Queen of Montana directed by Allan Dwan and starring Barbara Stanwyck and Ronald Reagan. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch another Reagan B-Movie where the "B" stands for "Blatant Propaganda." Amy would like to see Barbara Stanwyck shoot more creeps. Mel doesn't like the character that the movie told her to like. Stu gave up half way an…
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Seven Brides for Seven Brothers directed by Stanley Donen and starring Jane Powell, Howard Keel, and Jeff Richards. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers contemplate the question, "If a tree falls in the forest, and it crushes your parents, do you turn feral?" Amy unexpectedly learn a lot about ketchup. Mel successfully identifies the jumpy boy. Stu adv…
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Calamity Jane directed by David Butler and starring Doris Day, Howard Keel and Allyn Ann McLerie. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers observe some gals bein' pals! Mel and Amy categorize Calamity as a lady coot and have an interesting digression about teeth. Stu is enamored by Doris Day, and would prefer we stop talking about teeth.…
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The Mask of Zorro directed by Martin Campbell and starring Antonio Banderas, Anthony Hopkins, and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers discuss the issues inherent in "Horny Confessional." Mel revels in all the clever one liners. Stu identifies Catherine Zeta-Jones as this movie's "sexy howitzer." Mel gets best-in-class on the geog…
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Ride the High Country directed by Sam Peckinpah and starring Joel McCrea, Randolph Scott and Mariette Hartley Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers meet the drunkest judge, the most sinister set of brothers and your favorite western grandads. Amy declares that sometimes you just have to be a person! Stu becomes enamored with Randolph Scott. Mel is confu…
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Appaloosa directed by Ed Harris and starring Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, and Renée Zellweger. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers encourage you to wash your butt. Amy conducts a thorough investigation to determine what are the female lead's motivations. Mel felt the movie didn't live up to its name. Stu enjoyed watching smug dudes getting shot.…
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Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron directed by Kelly Asbury and Lorna Cook, starring Matt Damon, James Cromwell and Daniel Studi. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers aren't crying! You're crying! Stu pitches a new reality TV show: Horse Wives. Amy suggests you watch this one with subtitles. Mel gives a stern warning about petting wild bison.…
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Death Rides a Horse directed by Giulio Petroni, and starring Lee Van Cleef, John Phillip Law, and Mario Brega. Episode Roundup: SABATATHON '24 ends with this bleak tale of greed and revenge. Mel is excited to hear Lee Van Cleef call someone an idiot. Stu concludes that if you trap Lee Van Cleef in a hotel room, you've only signed your own death war…
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Dig Your Grave, Friend... Sabata's Coming directed by Juan Bosch, starring Richard Harrison, Fernando Sancho and Raf Baldassarre. Episode Roundup: Can a Sabata by any other name be as cool? The Cowpunchers find out in this Sabata copycat containing a boat load of heinous hats, awkward fight foley work, and one truly unbelievable fake mustache. Amy …
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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly directed by Sergio Leone and starring Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, and Lee Van Cleef. Episode Roundup: SABATATHON '24 gets off to a solid start! The Cowpunchers highly recommend that you drop everything and watch this movie right now. They also recommend that you don't go out and get hit by a train. Mel presents her …
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Blazing Saddles directed by Mel Brooks, and starring Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder and Slim Pickens. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are bombarded with hilarious gags. Amy can't remember the main character's name. Mel researches some references that went over our heads. Stu writes to Hollywood and asks to bring back the intermission.…
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Badland directed by Justin Lee and starring Kevin Makely, Trace Adkins, and Mira Sorvino. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers delve back into the depths of the worst movie they've ever seen only to discover...that they were WRONG. Mel admires the landscape of Kevin Makely's abs. Stu embraces the madness. Amy thinks we just weren't ready for this movie…
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A Cowboy Christmas directed by Jeremy Drummond, starring Brenna Coates, Teagan Vincze and Brennan Martin. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are tricked into watching a non-western. Stu gets nit picks the cookie math. Mel is offended on behalf of Hallmark movies and recommends you watch a much better one. Amy posits that the sister is a secret murder…
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For our 100th Episode the Cowpunchers discuss aspects of the genre, what makes a Western great, and watch every Western movie made before 1900 (at least the ones we could find). Mel won't get you the big knife. Stu gives a sober history of the saloon. Amy wonders if the movies we watched on this episode were truly Westerns or just current events of…
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The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford directed by Andrew Dominik and starring Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck and Sam Rockwell. Episode Roundup: The Cowpuncher watch nearly three hours of cowboy ASMR with bits of movie sprinkled in as a treat. Mel finds the narration unintentionally hilarious. Amy refers to Jeremy Renner exclusively a…
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Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter directed by William Beaudine, and starring John Lupton, Narda Onyx, and Cal Bolder. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers get pedantic. Amy uses complex Non-Euclidean Geometry to explain the romantic subplot. Mel is holding out for a himbo. Stu observes someone's kink.…
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Billy the Kid versus Dracula directed by William Beaudine and starring John Carradine, Chuck Courtney and Melinda Casey. Episode Roundup: For our spooky Halloween special, the Cowpunchers discuss inappropriate ways to look at things. Pat takes umbrage with the inconsistent vampire lore. Amy is confused about how doctors are educated and hopes crypt…
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More Dead Than Alive directed by Robert Sparr and starring Clint Walker, Anne Francis, and Vincent Price. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers attempt to adequately describe how big and tall Clint Walker is, but ultimately come up short. Amy advises you to not taunt unhinged young men with firearms. Mel is convinced Anne Francis is a time traveler. Stu…
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The War Wagon directed by Burt Kennedy, starring John Wayne, Kirk Douglas and Howard Keel. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers reccomend you watch another movie. Stu posits that a train would be a more economical option. Amy forgets that train robberies exist. Mel fixes the movie by setting it inside Westworld. Stay to the end to hear a letter from a …
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3:10 to Yuma starring Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, and Ben Foster. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers want to know where Charlie Prince buys his jackets. Mel has valuable advice on where to store your high explosives. Amy says what we're all thinking, "Hey, $200 is $200, am I right?" Stu seriously doubts the medical accuracy of this movie.…
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3:10 to Yuma directed by Delmer Daves and starring Glenn Ford, Van Heflin and Felicia Farr. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers beg Mark to shut his mouth. Mel's eyebrows are living their best lives. Stu exhausts his thesaurus as he comes up with new names for Contention City. Amy critiques the heavy shots at the saloon.…
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Two Mules for Sister Sara directed by Don Siegel and starring Clint Eastwood and Shirley MacLaine. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers revel in hearing Clint Eastwood say "ass." Mel tells the story of the largest rosary she's ever seen. Amy proposes using an exploding Bible as a weapon. Stu describes his ideal career; doing nothing.…
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I Am Sartana, Your Angel of Death directed by Giuliano Carnimeo and starring John Garko and Frank Wolff. Episode Roundup: This episode is bursting with fun surprises! Stay till the end to hear a lovely letter from a lovely listener, our world famous geography quiz (that Mel and Amy forgot to do on the last episode) and at the very very very end... …
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The Telegraph Trail directed by Tenny Wright and starring John Wayne, Duke the Wonder Horse, and Frank McHugh. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch a movie that was as lazy as it was racist! Seriously, it was a wagon full of slurs paired with about 25 minutes of stock footage. Amy demands the release of the "scooch cut." Mel builds on the theory …
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The Treasure of the Sierra Madre directed by John Huston and starring Humphrey Bogart, Walter Huston and Tim Holt. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers talk delicious Texas peaches, what happens when you give a coot some gold, and that the true treasure was the friends we made along the way. Mel posits that this may be the prequel to Silverado, and adv…
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Ringo's Big Night directed by Mario Maffei and starring William Berger, Adriana Ambesi, and Eduaro Fajardo Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers observe several subplots go out in search of a main story arc. Mel is so upset by observing numerous and flagrant equine safety violations that she calls Horse OSHA. Pat is viciously and mercilessly assaulted b…
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Old Henry directed by Potsy Ponciroli and starring Tim Blake Nelson, Scott Haze and Gavin Lewis. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch the Western version of John Wick. Amy makes a lot of Pokémon references. Pat teaches us about cowboy guns. Stu is shocked by Chekov's Hogs.
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Our first "Best Of" Episode! Enjoy this collection of our favorite jokes, gags, and bits from the last 3 years! Mel rants about Kenneth Branagh. Amy laughs hysterically at a list of stuffed horses. Pat gets mad at poor firearm/banjo handling. Stu observes a weird dinner. Episodes included: Arizona, Badland, Sabata, Shanghai Joe, Shakiest Gun in the…
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The Mark of Zorro directed by Rouben Mamoulian and starring Tyrone Power, Linda Darnell and Basil Rathbone. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers gleefully return to Caballero night! Mel and Amy enjoy men's fashion. Stu doesn't believe this is a western at all. And finally -- Justice for Chihuahua! Send us a note at CowpunchersShow@gmail.com!…
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Django, Prepare a Coffin directed by Ferdinando Baldi, and starring Terence Hill, Horst Frank, and George Eastman. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers continue their search for a Terence Hill movie that isn't obnoxious so that Amy can be freed from the fey realms! Stu incorrectly identifies Django Reinhardt as Spanish (he was Belgian). Amy observes Te…
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Meek's Cutoff directed by Kelly Reichardt, starring Michelle Williams, Bruce Greenwood and Paul Dano. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers detail all the places you can get lost in and die in America to this very day! Pat posits that this is a post apocalpytic film. Mel makes her own postcard. Amy is still trapped in the fey realm and Stu proposes Step…
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Bad Girls directed by Jonathan Kaplan, and starring Madeleine Stowe, Mary Stuart Masterson, Andie MacDowell, and Drew Barrymore. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers have a disagreement on the quality of this movie! Amy is captivated by a caravan of coots. Pat reveals his "type" and that type is Drew Barrymore with murder in her eyes. Stu calls his mom…
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Bandidas directed by Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg, starring Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek and Steve Zahn. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers are coming at you with some BSE (Big Spaghetti Energy) with this Western that is nearly great except for one early aught's infected scene. Pat demands the Cleef. Stu is haunted by Dwight Yoakam's face. Amy wa…
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For a Few Dollars More directed by Sergio Leone, and starring Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, and Gian Maria Volontè. Episode Roundup: SABATATHON '23 is rounded out with the middle stage of the "Dollars" Trilogy. Get ready for a metric ton of FACE. Stu squints so long and hard his face gets frozen that way. Mel doesn't know anyone or anything, she's…
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Bad Man's River directed by Eugenio Martin, starring Lee Van Cleef, James Mason and Gina Lollobrigida. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers revel in seeing Lee Van Cleef in a different hat. Stu posits that this movie has Big Muppet Energy (TM). Amy's broad definition of coot causes a contr0versy. Mel provides direction for Lee and Gina's "sexy" scenes.…
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Return of Sabata directed by Gianfranco Parolini and starring Lee Van Cleef, Reiner Schöne, and Giampiero Albertini. Episode Roundup: SABATATHON '23 is off to a roaring start with this, the last "Canonical" installment of the Sabata trilogy! Stu admires an ugly suit. Mel feels that this movie taught her to appreciate James Bond. Amy found the missi…
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High Noon directed by Fred Zinnemann, starring Gary Cooper, Grace Kelly and Thomas Mitchell. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers stan Helen, and could not run out of nice things to say about this classic Western. Stu posits that this film is a good bridge between film noir and westerns. Mel says the real villian is not Frank Miller, but the whole town…
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The Mark of Zorro directed by Fred Niblo and starring Douglas Fairbanks, Marguerite De La Motte, and Noah Beery. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers watch a Zorro movie only to talk at length about Batman. This movie dared to ask "Have you seen this one?" Mel suggests that Zorro would be a great moderator for the AITA sub-Reddit. Amy points out that t…
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Trail of Robin Hood directed by William Witney, starring Roy Rogers, Penny Edwards and Trigger the horse. Episode Roundup: The Cowpunchers learn about the cut throat world of Christmas Tree farmers in this seasonally appropriate western. Stu is impressed by a very violent dog. Mel provides an audio tour of famous stuffed horses. Pat explores this m…
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