Three comedians with religious trauma suffer through the worst faith-based content they can find.
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John Travolta is an angel who swears and smokes cigarettes and eats a lot of sugar and is the desire of every woman on the planet except for Andie MacDowell, who is too busy hiding her shameful secret about how she babysits dogs. This is a super weird, super goofy movie from the 90s that was much, much easier to watch than any movie Ryan has ever p…
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In a sense, this is the Citizen Kane of bad Christian movies. Also the world is going to end about forty years ago.
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What better way to start the new year off than with the latest and greatest from Donald James Parker? This week we watched Pickleball Princess, which turned out not to be a religious movie, except in the sense that pickkeball seems to be Donald's new religion. Pickleball is basically the Messiah in this movie. It can cure racism and build bridges, …
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Jesus' diner has closed for business, so now he's vacationing in Thailand and making new friends. You know what that means - it's the hit sequel to The Encounter, only this time, Jesus is taken hostage. David A. R. White is here too, as the world's worst policeman, but he's tied to a chair for most of the movie. Thankfully, Jesus can break the tens…
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Kids these days, they're 29 and have major social media followings, am I right? Thankfully some parents out there still know how to raise their kids right, by waiting until their birthday, leaving the country, cutting them off, and forcing them into a life of poverty and homelessness until they can learn how to put God first. Dan, Alexa, and Ryan l…
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In which Ryan continues the saga of Harry Potter, very continuingly.
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It's all very simple: Satan drives a semi-trailer truck, which he uses to kill a lady so that her infant daughter Sheri can someday grow up and be diagnosed with a terminal illness that leads her to become a Pentecostal superhero. With her newfound powers, Sheri stops middle-aged high school bullies, hypnotizes TV executives, and shuts down whole m…
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A faith-based movie with F bombs! And murder! And angels that seem to be slacking off on their job of stopping terrible things from happening. This week, Dan, Alexa, and Ryan watch their first R-rated faith-based film, which comes with an important lesson about forgiveness. Or something. There's also a murder mystery that goes nowhere, a detective …
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Imagine an episode of Pinky and the Brain where Brain feeds Pinky to a cat, and you have a basic idea of what this Christian cartoon is like. Nero is killing all the Christians in Rome, and that means it's time for some hilarious antics where four probably-orphans have to run for their lives to avoid being sold into slavery. And it's all very wacky…
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Ever wondered what it would be like if Jesus made you a cheeseburger? What if it was the most delicious cheeseburger you'd ever had? And what if Jesus ruined it by saying weird things about genocide? There's all this and more in this week's movie, The Encounter, in which Jesus fulfills his lifelong dream of becoming a small business owner. Unfortun…
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How did life begin? It's a question no scientist has ever thought about. What are scientists hiding? And do they have what it takes to win $5000 of Ben Stein's money? I might be mixing some things up. In any case, this week we watched Stein's 2008 propaganda-fest, which boldly defends the right of scientists everywhere to advocate for a vaguely def…
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One's a skeptic, the other's a lapsed Christian. Now they have to work together to get to the bottom of a mystery about UFOs. Sounds like a recipe for hijinks! But we'll never know, because the movie skips all that. Instead we have to spend endless hours in their magazine's office listening to people drone on about apple juice and the rapture. Why …
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God's Not Dead is back, and this time, he's out for vengeance. Reverend Dave has to face his deadliest foe yet: Common Core. It's all very simple: The government wants you to think that its founding documents were written by rich old white slaveowning men, so that you'll be disgusted with them, reject our founding documents, and agree to let the go…
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What happens when a tough-minded skeptic sets out to disprove Christianity? And what if that story is told by evangelicals who don't seem to know how tough-minded skeptics actually think? And what if it's based on a true story? That's right, it's the personal account of author Lee Strobel's journey from atheism to Christianity, although calling the…
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Die Hard on a plane, but with the rapture! If there's one thing we can't get enough of, it's movies about the rapture that are set mostly on an airplane where the central premise of the film is treated as a surprise plot twist near the end. Sadly, this movie does not feature Nicolas Cage, but it does have Eric Roberts, who is almost as good! Basica…
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This week we're going back to the year 1890, when podcasts were more godly, and all people cared about was their unpublished manuscripts. Dr. Russell Carlisle wants to teach people to follow Jesus' morals without mentioning Jesus' name every two seconds, but his baldest colleague is so outraged at this idea that he sends Dr. Carlisle over a hundred…
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Try as we might, we just can't seem to escape the Kirk Cameron vortex. Why do we do this to ourselves? Do we enjoy the suffering? Is there something wrong with our brains? Perhaps if the three of us had received an education directly from our parents, this never would have happened. We'd all be outside, tearing up the countryside in our four-wheele…
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He's already saved Christmas. Now he has to save his own marriage. No, we're not talking about Ernest P. Worrell, we're talking about someone with far less dignity than him. That's right, we're back with another Kirk Cameron movie. This week we watched the 2008 Christian film Fireproof, about a fireman whose marriage is failing due to the fact that…
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Gramps is still at college! And now people are dying!
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It's the 50th episode of Bad Faith Media, and it seemed like as good a time as any to finally watch the highly anticipated Gramps Goes to College, starring the one and only Donald James Parker. This time, DJP is taking on the liberal education system. More specifically, he's about to drop some creationist truth bombs on a bunch of alcoholic atheist…
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You loved when Kevin Sorbo got run over at the end of God's Not Dead. You were thrilled when Judge Ernie Hudson "allowed it" in God's Not Dead 2: God's Not Deader. Now, it's time for Dan, Ryan, and Alexa to take on the third installment in the GND franchise: God's Not Dead with a Vengeance, better known as God's Not Dead 3, officially known as God'…
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This one's for all the haters who said we'd never watch a Christian movie where Satan explodes violently out of a human body! That's right, we're watching MEGIDDO, the smash hit sequel to The Omega Code. It's the Godfather II of Antichrist movies, and not only that, but it's a bold sequel that dares to retcon just about everything that happened in …
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What if the Blair Witch became obsessed with evangelical purity culture? In that case, you'd probably wind up with our movie for this week. It's our first found-footage Christian horror film. It's called The Lock In, and it's quite bad. Imagine Paranormal Activity, only all the activity is caused by a porno magazine. Not only that, but the "activit…
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This week the gang takes on the world of Christian stand-up comedy, sort of. We watched an episode from a Pure Flix series called "Pure Comedy" that focuses on ventriloquist/comedian Kevin Johnson. Is it actually faith-based comedy? It's hard to say. All we know for sure is that it's not Kevin's fault when he bombs. In fact, it's probably your faul…
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This week we're finally talking about everybody's favorite faith-based produce. We're joined by comedian Jake Leizear to explore the world of VeggieTales. We ponder its confusing title, its main characters with old-gay-married-couple vibes, and its unfortunate destiny to become a soulless piece of corporate media garbage, courtesy of its new owners…
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After making some big announcements regarding our recent week off, the podcast crew gets back to doing what they do best: suffering through bad movies about the apocalypse. If you took the story of Left Behind and removed all the rapture stuff, the end result would be this week's offering, The Omega Code. It's the story of how one man devotes his w…
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We were still feeling weird about our Gary-Busey-in-a-leash-and-dog-kennel movie from last week, so we decided to purify our hearts by learning about the evils of kissing. Have you ever heard about a woman getting married at the age of 22 and asked yourself, "I wonder what her story is?" Well that's exactly the story our movie this week sets out to…
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Ryan has gone too far this time.
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Remember that minisode we did where Carman beat the crap out of the devil? Or that other minisode we did where Carman beat the crap out of the devil? Well buckle in, because Carman is back! This week, we're watching something that can loosely be called a movie starring a man who can loosely be called an actor. Carman plays a Chicago cop in his very…
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It's time to get out your party plate and head over to Jonny D's house, because this episode is guaranteed to knock you on your butt! This is how teenagers talk, right? To properly celebrate 4/20, the group decides to watch the infamous weed episode of 7th Heaven, a sitcom from the 90s about a Christian family with no communication or problem-solvi…
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Remember those great Hanna Barbera cartoons? Scooby Doo, The Flintstones, Yogi Bear, Jonny Quest? Well, what if the same studio decided to create a zany and only slightly traumatic cartoon series about two child archaeologists ("and their nomad friend, Moki") getting magically whisked away into Bible stories and immediately forced into slave labor?…
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Audacity is the timeless story of a man struggling with a heavy burden that nobody understands, something that is part of his identity that he is scared to share because he is afraid of being rejected, if not hated. That's right, he's struggling with a deep, internal desire to tell gay people that they're sinners. He doesn't want them to see him as…
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This week we watched a Christian comedy film, and when you have four comedians at the helm that means you're gonna get a TON of comedy-writing analysis. Dan, Ryan, and Alexa are joined by returning guest Rose Vineshank, and together they try to figure out why this movie, written and directed by David A R White (of God's Not Dead fame) came SO close…
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In the beginning, God created bigfoot. And God saw that the bigfoot costume was very cheap, and he immediately regretted his decision. That's right folks, it's a Christian bigfoot movie. Ol' Sasquatch is up to no good, and it's up to former police chief Harrison and mayor Christie to stop him and save the children. Don't worry, they'll take lots of…
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Things on the podcast have finally reached a breaking point. Dan and Ryan now find themselves trapped in a room together, forced to hash out their differences. If they don't, they'll starve to death, and somehow it's all because of Jesus. This week, we're discussing our first Christian horror film, The Reconciler, which wants very badly to be like …
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Kerbango! It's time to jump out of our skullbones and dive into the craphole that is Battlefield Earth, a movie based on a book written by the founder of Scientology himself, L. Ron Hubbard. Featuring chaotic performances by John Travolta and Forrest Whitaker, along with some not-so-subtle messaging about psychiatrists, this film has it all. Dan an…
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The thrilling conclusion to our two-part episode on Mr. God Goes to Washington. YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
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It's time to watch Mr. God Goes to Washington! This masterful [citation needed] sequel to God's Not Dead brings us a courtroom drama about religious freedom... or maybe it's about history? Or maybe it's about freedom of speech? Or maybe it's about bringing in a bunch of Christian apologists to demonstrate that history proves the truth of Christiani…
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As seasoned scholars of TV's greatest show, Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction, it only seemed right for Dan and Ryan to reunite with Andie Basto to discuss another Jonathan Frakes venture. This time Frakes is our guide into the world of biblical archaeology, in an old Christian video resource called Time Travel Through the Bible. True to form, Frakes …
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In which Ryan continues to share the story of Harry Potter's indoctrination.
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It's almost Valentine's Day, which means it's time to descend into the horrible demonic realm of Christian romance stories. This particular story comes from the mind responsible for Hearts Are Trump (see episode 19), which means this is going to be an especially despicable story. Writer/director Donald James Parker has a bunch of teenagers articula…
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We finally made it to the sixth and (so far) final Left Behind movie. It's the sort-of-sequel to the 2014 Left Behind reboot with Nicolas Cage, except this time Nicolas Cage is played by Kevin Sorbo who also steps in as director. That's right, this is a Kevin Sorbo joint, which means that the Left Behind story now has things to say about covid, fak…
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What if you combined a successful Christian book series about the rapture with the 1980 comedy classic Airplane? The answer, it seems, is the 2014 Left Behind reboot starring Nicolas Cage. It abandons most of the original story and replaces it with a suspense film about landing an airplane in a world with no Christians, which turns out to be a near…
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It's time to plug your flash drive into your smart phone and watch yet another Left Behind movie. This one is a spinoff film, focusing on a bunch of teenagers who really need to find their dad, Eric Harlow. It's a film that dares to ask: What if little kids could be left behind? Prepare to be challenged to think outside of the box (the one that Eri…
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In which Dan gets taken in by the weirdest scam in the world.
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This ain't your grandma's Left Behind! In this film we follow the hilarious misadventures of Miller and Fitz. One is leading a military resistance against the Antichrist, the other is the President of the United States who has Wolverine's healing abilities, plus a few other cool skills as well. Meanwhile, Christians are being targeted with biologic…
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When the Tribulation Force shows up, you know things are about to get dicey. I'm talking word documents being saved onto disks, cookies being smeared on faces, and two old men with deadly heartburn. That's right, we're talking about the smash hit [citation needed] sequel to Left Behind. Kirk Cameron returns to lead a ragtag band of rebels willing t…
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In which the Brawny guy exposes the folly of socialism and Richard Dawkins.
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Remember the Growing Pains episode where Mike Seaver meets the Antichrist? That's right folks, it's a new year and the boys are starting off strong by dedicating a whole month to the Left Behind movies. This is the first of SIX films (God help us) based on the best-selling Christian novels from the 90s written by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. In th…
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In which Dan and Ryan get left behind.
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