Imani Ellis has always believed community is a superpower. What began as a small gathering in her Harlem apartment grew into The Creative Collective NYC and CultureCon — one of the largest conferences celebrating creators of color. But behind the highlight reels and celebrity speakers, Imani’s journey has been defined by burnout, bold leaps and learning when to pause. In this episode, Ben and Kathleen sit down with Imani and explore what it takes to transform a passion project into a cultural movement. From balancing a demanding career at NBCUniversal with late-night CultureCon planning, to walking away from work at the height of burnout for a self-designed “creative residency” in Paris, Imani shares the realities of leadership, rest and why joy and community must stay at the center of her work. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
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Manage series 3505026
内容由Alejandra Siroka提供。所有播客内容（包括剧集、图形和播客描述）均由 Alejandra Siroka 或其播客平台合作伙伴直接上传和提供。如果您认为有人在未经您许可的情况下使用您的受版权保护的作品，您可以按照此处概述的流程进行操作https://zh.player.fm/legal。
The language you use every day shapes your world and is your bridge to deeply connecting with yourself and others. Through the Language Alchemy Podcast, host Alejandra Siroka, a transformative communication teacher and coach, invites you to explore and express your deepest truths with clarity, confidence, and compassion. Give conscious shape to a fulfilling life and meaningful relationships with Language Alchemy.
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Manage series 3505026
内容由Alejandra Siroka提供。所有播客内容（包括剧集、图形和播客描述）均由 Alejandra Siroka 或其播客平台合作伙伴直接上传和提供。如果您认为有人在未经您许可的情况下使用您的受版权保护的作品，您可以按照此处概述的流程进行操作https://zh.player.fm/legal。
The language you use every day shapes your world and is your bridge to deeply connecting with yourself and others. Through the Language Alchemy Podcast, host Alejandra Siroka, a transformative communication teacher and coach, invites you to explore and express your deepest truths with clarity, confidence, and compassion. Give conscious shape to a fulfilling life and meaningful relationships with Language Alchemy.
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
1 182. What is Passive Aggressive Communication Recognizing Hidden Messages in Your Relationships 18:25
Passive aggression hides beneath polite words and careful smiles, creating confusion and distance in relationships that crave honesty and emotional safety. Alejandra Siroka begins a new mini-series by inviting listeners to understand passive-aggressive communication not as cruelty or manipulation but as a protective response born from fear, powerlessness, or cultural conditioning. She reveals how indirect language—sarcasm, silence, backhanded compliments, or half-hearted agreement—often signals discomfort that feels too risky to express directly. Rather than labeling these moments as toxic, Alejandra encourages awareness. What if the tension you feel in a conversation isn’t hostility but an attempt to stay safe? What changes when you notice the mismatch between someone’s words and their energy with curiosity instead of blame? Through relatable examples and compassionate reflection, she helps listeners uncover the roots of passive aggression and begin seeing it as a learned pattern that can soften with understanding. This first part of the mini-series lays the foundation for a more conscious way to relate, one that replaces confusion with clarity and hidden resentment with genuine connection. Quotes “Passive-aggressive communication is a way of expressing something we consider uncomfortable in an indirect way." (04:15 | Alejandra Siroka) “That's the tricky thing about passive aggression. It operates in the space between what is said and what is meant. And it leaves the person on the receiving end feeling confused, questioning their perception, and often absorbing guilt or shame that isn't theirs.” (10:00 | Alejandra Siroka) "People who communicate with passive aggression are not bad people. They are wonderful, good, loving humans, just like you, who happen to be reacting." (10:46 | Alejandra Siroka) "Passive aggression often emerges when someone feels they have no direct power or voice in a situation." (13:00 | Alejandra Siroka) “Passive-aggressive communication is the indirect expression of uncomfortable feelings, opinions, experiences, wants, and needs. And we communicate that through words, tone, or behavior that don't match what we mean.” (16:15 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/mailinglist To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
When someone we care about feels overwhelmed or emotionally stretched thin, their communication may shift — not because they intend harm, but because their inner resources are running low. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka offers a new way to interpret those moments. Instead of taking sharp replies, distance, or inconsistency personally, try to notice them as signs of depletion rather than rejection. She introduces a powerful comparison: the care we naturally extend to a sprained ankle — patience, gentleness, slower pacing — is the same kind of awareness that can be brought to the emotional healing of others. Rather than labeling someone as too sensitive or difficult, consider what changes when you treat their tenderness as a temporary injury rather than a flaw. Alejandra explores eight practices that may help you relate more intentionally when someone you love is struggling. These include offering acknowledgment without fixing, speaking in softer tones when possible, waiting for settled energy before approaching complex topics, and choosing language that frames others with dignity even when their actions feel challenging. The invitation isn’t to overextend or absorb what isn’t yours, it’s to stay rooted in compassion while still honoring your own clarity. This approach may reveal that support doesn’t always come through solutions. Sometimes it’s simply presence, patience, and a willingness to see beyond the moment. Quotes "The same tender awareness we give to a sprained ankle is exactly what the people in our lives need when they are going through challenges or feeling heartbroken by what's happening in the world." (03:38 | Alejandra Siroka) "When someone is under-resourced, their communication is going to be more habitual and less authentic. It's going to be less conscious and less mindful of their own impact on others." (06:12 | Alejandra Siroka) “If you can remember that they are under-resourced, that they are operating from a place of depletion rather than fullness, you can create space for their struggle without making it about you.” (07:26 | Alejandra Siroka) "When you don't take it personally, you free yourself to respond with compassion instead of defensiveness. You can see their habitual communication patterns for what they are, survival mechanisms, rather than attacks on you." (08:02 | Alejandra Siroka) "We need to be each other's keepers. What does that mean? It means showing up with tenderness when someone is hurting. It means choosing compassion over impatience." (14:29 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/mailinglist To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
When the world is shaken by war, violence, and human suffering, it can feel impossible to talk about it without creating more distance. Maybe you’ve stayed silent to avoid conflict. Maybe you’ve spoken up only to regret how the conversation unfolded. Or maybe you’ve felt pressure to take a side just to prove that you care. Alejandra Siroka invites you to understand a different way forward. She shares how conversations anchored in values—compassion, humility, justice, peace, or connection—can open space rather than shut it down. Instead of falling into the trap of being “right” or “wrong,” Alejandra shows how to consider what outcome you want from a conversation and how to let that guide your words. Through stories and real-life examples, you’ll uncover ways to respond with honesty, curiosity, and humanity in even the most charged moments. You’ll see how choosing one guiding value can reshape not only what you say, but how you show up for others. This episode leaves you with a framework to lean on when words feel inadequate. It’s an invitation to explore how your communication, grounded in values, can help protect dignity and connection in times when the world feels divided. Quotes “How do we speak about something this complex and emotionally charged without losing our way? The answer lies in one of the core principles of language alchemy, which is about getting crystal clear on your values and anchoring your communication in them.” (09:00 | Alejandra Siroka) “Before you enter any conversation about the Israel-Gaza crisis, pause and ask yourself these three questions. Number one, what value do I most want to embody in this conversation? Number two, am I speaking from my values or from a need to be right? And number three, what outcome am I hoping for? Connection or conquest?” (09:21 | Alejandra Siroka) "When you lead with, I don't know, you're not being weak or uncommitted. You are being honest about the limitations of your perspective while staying connected to your values." (16:43 | Alejandra Siroka) "Your willingness to communicate from your values, even when others may get caught in the reactive patterns, is not something neutral. It is a form of evolutionary activism." ( 21:36 | Alejandra Siroka) "The world doesn't need more people taking sides. It needs more people willing to communicate from their deepest wisdom and stay connected across differences." ( 22:42 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
The back-to-school season doesn’t just shift kids’ routines, it changes the rhythm of the whole family. Alejandra Siroka invites parents and co-parents to pause and notice how these transitions impact their partnerships. She shares three simple yet powerful questions that help partners move from silent frustration to mutual support, turning hectic weeks into opportunities for connection. Alejandra also explores the importance of grounding family logistics in shared values, checking in regularly, and practicing daily gratitude. Whether you’re in a couple or parenting solo, this episode offers ways to uncover hidden stress points, consider what support really looks like, and create a smoother transition for everyone at home. Quotes “When we name what’s happening and we create the space to talk about it together, we can transform a potentially chaotic transition into a meaningful passage that can bring you and your partner or co-parent together.” (03:20 | Alejandra Siroka) “Before you and your partner get deep into logistics, this conversation needs to start with your values.” (04:11 | Alejandra Siroka) “What’s key here is that you show yourself that you are not alone. Because most likely, there is someone who would really enjoy supporting you and feeling heard by you.” (14:42 | Alejandra Siroka) “Conscious communication doesn’t mean you’ll have to have perfect conversations or that every transition will go smoothly. It means you are choosing to engage with intention rather than with reaction. It means you are building connection even in the midst of change.” (15:24 | Alejandra Siroka) “Every conversation you have, whether it’s checking in with your partner about their needs for the week or expressing gratitude for how they’re supporting the family is an act of evolutionary activism because you’re modeling to your children how to navigate transitions in a meaningful and connecting way.” (16:13 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
Back-to-school season often comes with shopping lists, new schedules, and endless logistics, but how often do we stop to think about what this transition feels like for our children? In this episode, Alejandra Siroka invites parents to use conscious communication to guide kids through the mix of excitement, nervousness, and even sadness that often accompanies change. She explains how small, everyday conversations, whether during a car ride, over dinner, or in a quiet moment before bed, can create space for kids to feel safe and understood. Each school year brings new dynamics and emotions, even when everything else seems familiar. How do we recognize these subtle shifts and turn them into opportunities for connection? Alejandra shows how embracing transition as transformation can help families build resilience and deeper bonds that last well beyond the classroom. Quotes “Every transition matters because every transition brings changes. And every change can serve as an opportunity for growth, connection, and transformation, especially when we give them our full attention through skillful communication.” (04:58 | Alejandra Siroka) “When you validate your children’s feelings and help them see that emotions are temporary, you are teaching them emotional intelligence and resilience that will serve them throughout their lives.” (09:17 | Alejandra Siroka) “Your role is to be present, to listen, to be their source for safety and connection, and also to help them understand that whatever they’re feeling, that experience and that feeling is valid and temporary.” (11:17 | Alejandra Siroka) “Every conversation you have, whether it’s validating your child’s nervousness about a new teacher or simply acknowledging that transitions can feel overwhelming, is an act of evolutionary activism because you’re modeling a new way of being in relationship.” (12:50 | Alejandra Siroka) “Transition is transformation in disguise. When we meet it with conscious communication, we don’t just survive the change. We help our children thrive through it.” (13:27 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
1 177. Stop Sounding Like Customer Service in Your Own Relationships: Breaking Free From Communication Formulas 22:41
Many of us still rely on communication habits that took root when we were children. Maybe you avoid speaking up because you’re afraid of ruffling feathers. Maybe you say yes when you really mean no. Or maybe you fall back on language that sounds dramatic when what you actually want is to feel understood. These patterns once served a purpose, but they don’t support the authentic, connected relationships we want as adults. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka invites you to consider a different approach. Instead of memorizing lines or following a formula, she shares how communication can become a living practice that grows with you. Through stories, examples, and insights, Alejandra shows how the Language Alchemy approach helps you pause, notice what’s happening inside, and speak from your deepest values. When you do this, you move from reactivity to awareness and from transactional exchanges to genuine connection. What would change in your life if you trusted your own voice rather than relying on someone else’s script? How might your relationships evolve if you brought curiosity, presence, and compassion into every conversation? This episode reminds us that authentic communication is not about getting the words “right” but about showing up as your true self and allowing your voice to grow with you. Quotes “Your communication needs to grow with you. Yes, just like your body grows from infant to adult, your communication needs to develop and mature alongside you.” (01:58 | Alejandra Siroka) “You do not need someone else’s script for your adult conversations.” (08:17 | Alejandra Siroka) “From my perspective, communication formulas are actually a disservice to your growth and authenticity.” (10:48 | Alejandra Siroka) “Skillful communication depends on the context, not on formulas.” (15:00 | Alejandra Siroka) “When you choose curiosity over judgment, you are transforming your communication.” (18:32 | Alejandra Siroka) Links Apply for Language Alchemy Group Coaching at https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
Transform the way you speak to yourself, life, and others to open the door to deeper connection, stronger confidence, and real personal growth. Alejandra Siroka invites you to see communication as more than words exchanged between people. It is the thread that shapes your relationships, your self-image, and your sense of possibility. The language you use with yourself can lift you up or hold you back. The beliefs you carry about life can expand your world or keep it small. The way you speak to others can build trust or create distance. Through client stories, Alejandra shows how patterns formed in childhood often stay with us and quietly influence every interaction. She explores the three dimensions of communication: how you talk to yourself, how you relate to life, and how you connect with others. She offers ways to evolve each one so you can move from self-criticism to compassion, from bracing for the worst to noticing support, and from defensiveness to genuine curiosity. These shifts create ripple effects you can see and feel in daily life. In this episode, Alejandra leaves us with the understanding that transforming your communication means stepping into the fullest version of yourself with tools, guidance, and a supportive community to help you get there. Quotes “If you’re still talking to yourself using the same language patterns you absorbed as a child, it’s like you’re trying to navigate your adult life with a child’s map.” (04:40 | Alejandra Siroka) “The health of your relationships, and therefore the quality of your life, depends on how you communicate with others.” (12:05 | Alejandra Siroka) “When you transform your interpersonal communication, you have more choice and you’re able to express yourself authentically in a way that has presence and understanding for you and for the other person.” (13:40 | Alejandra Siroka) “When you transform your communication, it has ripple effects. When you change how you communicate, everything changes.” (15:16 | Alejandra Siroka) “Transformation is not about becoming someone different. It’s about becoming more fully yourself, the wise, loving, authentic, mature adult you truly are.” (17:54 | Alejandra Siroka) Links Group Coaching - https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
1 175. Breaking Free from the Mental Spin Cycle - Why ‘Being the Better Person’ Backfires (And What Actually Works) 21:35
Trying to be the better person in a conflict might be the very thing keeping you stuck and silently seething. Alejandra Siroka takes a closer look at what really happens when we avoid hard conversations in the name of maturity or keeping the peace. This episode explores the spin cycle, that mental loop we fall into when unresolved conflict plays on repeat, and offers a more meaningful way forward using values-based communication. Avoiding the conversation might feel like the safer choice, but at what cost to your sense of self? Through her Language Alchemy® approach, Alejandra outlines a practice that begins with honest self-awareness and leads into speaking from your core values rather than judgment or resentment. She poses thoughtful questions to help shift the way we think about conflict: What does your value of integrity ask of you right now? What would it sound like to speak with respect for both yourself and the other person? You’ll also hear a story about Priya, a client who spent years feeling quietly dismissed by her mother-in-law until she finally expressed herself in a way that honored her values and opened the door to mutual understanding. This episode is an invitation to move out of mental spinning and into honest, grounded communication without losing yourself along the way. Quotes “These ideas about being the better person can actually add another layer of pressure. Because they suggest that if we were truly evolved or mature, we would simply rise above the conflict without addressing the underlying issues.” (03:41 | Alejandra Siroka) “When they apply forced niceness to their communication, they’re being inauthentic. And inauthenticity doesn’t feel good at all.” (05:54 | Alejandra Siroka) “When we transform how we communicate in our personal relationships, we are actually contributing to a larger shift in human consciousness. Every time we choose values-based communication over reactive patterns, we’re not just healing our own conflicts, we are modeling a new way of being that ripples out into the world.” (09:33 | Alejandra Siroka) “Instead of asking ourselves, ‘How do I make this person change?’ We need to ask, ‘How do I show up as the person I want to be in this situation?’” (10:42 | Alejandra Siroka) “When we stop trying to be the better person and start being our authentic selves grounded in our own values, we create the possibility for real resolution and genuine connection.” (17:56 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy® mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
Long-standing conflicts have a way of taking root, not just in relationships, but in our own internal dialogue. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka unpacks three common patterns that tend to keep conflict alive for months or even years: overinflating the other person’s flaws through harsh judgment, resigning ourselves to the belief that they won’t change, and getting stuck in an exhausting mental spin cycle that loops through frustration, resentment, and self-criticism. Through the story of Priya and her mother-in-law, Penny, Alejandra illustrates how seemingly subtle comments can spiral into full-blown internal battles when left unaddressed. What starts as discomfort can quickly turn into mental replays, imagined confrontations, and a deep sense of personal failure, especially for those who are committed to growth and self-awareness. The focus here isn’t on blame. It’s on recognizing the patterns that make peace feel out of reach. If you tend to avoid conflict, replay conversations in your head, or stay silent out of fear of offending someone, this episode offers a chance to pause and look inward. Try to be aware of when your thoughts start spiraling or when you find yourself quietly giving up on the possibility of change. These moments aren’t signs of failure, they’re signals to examine what you're holding onto and how it’s affecting you. Alejandra encourages us to begin by noticing. Notice the mental loops, the quiet resignation, the buildup of judgment. And then, ask yourself: Do I really want to carry this tension for two more months? Two more years? That question alone might open the door to something different. Quotes “The spin cycle is exhausting because it requires running yourself against the other person and also against yourself. So we need to see the spin cycle for what it is. It is violent. You're not just in conflict with the other person. You are also at war with yourself.” (00:00 | Alejandra Siroka) “First, we blow things out of proportion through judgment and criticism. We analyze everything we consider wrong with the other person. We dissect their character flaws. And we build a case for why they are the problem.” (06:12 | Alejandra Siroka) “The second mistake we tend to make is that we resign ourselves. We throw up our hands and decide the person we're in conflict with is impossible, unchangeable, set in their ways, like a statue that will forever stay in a fixed position.” (08:34 | Alejandra Siroka) “When we spin, our internal dialogue becomes like a broken record. We replay conversations over and over. We think about what the other person said, what we said, what we should have said.” (12:17 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
Your arguments about being late or craving more structure might have less to do with behavior and more to do with how your brain relates to time. Could the tension you feel with a partner, friend, or colleague be tied to a mismatch in how you each experience it? Alejandra Siroka joins life coach Sara L. Allen to talk about the concept of time types, how some people live in a more fluid, expansive relationship with time, while others move through it with structure and intention. Alejandra explains the difference between these time-type brain patterns, and how these patterns show up in daily life, often creating miscommunication, arguments and conflicts. Have you ever felt disrespected because someone ran late or been on the other side, feeling rushed and resented for simply following your natural rhythm? Alejandra shares examples from her own marriage and client work that reveal how these differences in time perception can quietly strain even the most loving relationships. This episode is an invitation to notice your own patterns, to listen differently, and to support the people around you in ways that feel less reactive and more respectful. How would your relationships shift if you stopped assuming and started asking about time? Quotes “Most couples’ arguments are based on this idea of time and how they blame each other for something they don’t even know they have, which is the concept of time.” (10:57 | Alejandra Siroka) “When we realized that our concept of time, the way our brains organize time was different, and it was not a personality trait. And this is very important to understand. Even though there are things you can do to support yourself and shift how your brain is organizing this concept of time, it is not personality. We were able to trace back arguments we’ve had for years.” (11:58 | Alejandra Siroka) “For through-timers, being late produces a lot of anxiety, a lot of fear internally... I want my beloved to have a very steady and wonderful, relaxed nervous system.” (13:41 | Alejandra Siroka) “This is not a tool to diagnose others. Once you have it within yourself and you can see where you are in the spectrum, then talk to the people in your life and have them assess where they are, and then you can have beautiful and meaningful conversations about how you can support each other so that you can decrease your arguments, especially with those you live with, your closest friends.” (21:16 | Alejandra Siroka) “Having this understanding about how our brain organizes time is very useful. So that the in-timer can ask the through-timer, ‘Does this time work?’ And if it doesn’t, the through-timer can say, ‘Not at this moment, but I’d love to hear what you’d like to say this evening after we put the kids to bed.’ So this is how we can really support each other in communication.” (23:14 | Alejandra Siroka) Links Discover Your Time Type Checklist: https://www.languagealchemy.com/timetype To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
What do you do when someone you love is overwhelmed and their emotions start to overwhelm you ? Alejandra Siroka takes on a familiar dynamic: one partner is in distress, and the other feels pulled into that emotional current, unsure how to stay present without getting swept away. It starts with a question from a listener named Sekani, who describes getting anxious when his girlfriend feels anxious about politics. He wants to show up with care and compassion, but instead, he ends up in reactive mode. Alejandra offers a clear explanation for what’s happening here. It’s called emotional entanglement, and it’s incredibly common. Our brains are wired to connect to one another, so when someone close to us is hurting, our system often jumps in automatically. But could there be a way to stay close without taking it all on? Through this episode, Alejandra shares five tools to help you pause, reconnect with your intention, and stay grounded when emotions run high. She also offers a distinction between having a role and holding an intention, one that can shift the tone of your relationships in a meaningful way. How do you know when it’s the right time to share your own experience? What helps you avoid rushing to fix things that aren’t yours to solve? And how do cultural differences shape the way we express and interpret bog feelings? If you’ve ever found yourself in a moment where love and overwhelm are tangled together, Alejandra will give you language and presence to navigate it with more clarity. Quotes “This is where transformation happens. When you notice yourself getting activated by your partner’s emotions, that’s your cue to pause and acknowledge your trigger.” (09:32 | Alejandra Siroka) “Oftentimes, when people are going through these big feelings, they need our presence more than our suggestions or solutions. They need our witnessing more than our fixing. And they need our connection more than our actions.” (11:19 | Alejandra Siroka) “Intention comes from within. It is an inner invitation to stretch yourself and tap into your motivation and capacity.” (13:41 | Alejandra Siroka) “You could say to yourself, ‘your storm is not my storm. I am a lighthouse.’ This beautiful metaphor reminds you to stay steady while the other person is going through various emotions” (17:21 | Alejandra Siroka) “Sometimes, despite our best intentions and our best choice of tools, conversations don’t devolve into fights. This is a possibility. But this doesn’t mean that you have failed. No, it just means you are human.” (23:53 | Alejandra Siroka) Links Episode 137. Saying Sorry Is Not Enough: How To Have A Repair Conversation https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2148560398 To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
1 171. Beyond Time-Outs: Parenting Age-Appropriate Communication Tools for Children’s Aggressive Behaviors 45:42
Aggression in kids can be startling. It often signals that they are holding more fear, hurt, or disconnection than they know how to manage. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka sits down with parenting coach and educator Caroline Griswold to talk about the deeper story behind children’s “aggressive” behavior. What looks like defiance or disruption is often a child’s way of expressing fear, overwhelm, or disconnection they don’t yet have words for. So how should parents respond when children engage in “aggressive” behavior? Or when a child screams, throws something, or lashes out in public? Caroline shares how our own fear as parents can quickly lead us to react with sternness or even aggression, which only makes things worse. Instead, she offers grounded strategies like asking “What happened?” instead of “Why did you do that?” These questions help children feel safe enough to open up. She also shares simple practices that build connection, from five minutes of undivided attention in the morning to physical play that helps release emotional tension. Alejandra and Caroline’s conversation is full of gentle reminders and tools for anyone raising or working with kids consciously. If you’ve ever worried that your child’s behavior means something is wrong with them, or with you, you’re not alone. And you’re not without options. Quotes “Our children are born good, intrinsically good, deeply good on an essential level. Our kids do not want to be aggressive. As much as it may seem that way… at our baseline level, we’re born to connect.” (09:53 | Caroline Griswold) “A child who is aggressive is a child who is feeling fear, who’s feeling scared.” (11:29 | Caroline Griswold) “One way to think about it is they’re doing the best that they can with the brain development that they have and with the weight of the feeling that’s on them.” (14:50 | Caroline Griswold) “If a child gets to the point of being aggressive and then we come toward them with more aggression, it adds to the hurt. It adds to the fear and often adds to the confusion.” (18:26 | Caroline Griswold) “Our children, if we can send them off, if they spend the day without us, even if they don’t, with a little more in the tank, doesn’t solve every problem, but it’s a great start for helping our kids feel us when we’re not with them.” (39:42 | Caroline Griswold) Links Fertile Ground Parenting: https://www.fertilegroundparenting.com/ The Perfectly Imperfect Family: Real Solutions for Mindful Parents Navigating Today's Biggest Challenges: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F6VJ5BHJ Roughhousing guide: https://learn.fertilegroundparenting.com/wrestle To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
Assertive and aggressive communication can feel surprisingly similar, so how do you know which one you’re using, and how it’s affecting the people around you? In this episode, Alejandra Siroka explains the real difference between the two, especially for those who’ve been told they’re “too much” when they were simply being clear. She talks about how gender, culture, and power shape the way assertiveness is perceived, and how easy it is to second-guess yourself when those old labels echo in your head. You’ll hear a relatable example from home life that brings these concepts to life. What does it sound like to set a boundary without disconnecting from the people you love? How do you speak your truth without steamrolling someone else’s? Alejandra offers tools you can start using today, from grounding your tone to making specific, respectful requests. She reminds us that when you lead with intention and stay rooted in empathy, your voice doesn’t have to come at the cost of someone else’s. Quotes “It’s common that females and people who identify as females and people of color and those who are seen as outsiders of the dominant culture are accused of being aggressive when in reality they are communicating assertively.” (03:43 | Alejandra Siroka) “When you say something assertively, you are centered on your values. You have clarity about your needs. You are open to understand the needs of others. And you are willing to respect everyone’s needs as equally important.” (04:50 | Alejandra Siroka) “When you speak assertively, you enjoy valuable side effects, such as less anxiety, fewer experiences of helplessness, and the confidence needed for healthy self-esteem.” (06:10 | Alejandra Siroka) “Aggressive communication comes from fear and it leads to unhealthy power dynamics.” (09:09 | Alejandra Siroka) “Both assertiveness and aggressiveness come from the same source, the belly center of intelligence. But there is an important internal difference, and that has to do with intention.” (11:34 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
Some of the most hurtful communication habits are the ones we’ve been taught to see as normal. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka offers a reflection on four aggressive patterns that often show up in everyday conversations: stonewalling, gaslighting, passive aggression, and name-calling. These aren’t always loud or obvious. Sometimes they sound like silence. Sometimes they come wrapped in sarcasm, or disguised as concern. How do we create safety in our relationships when we’re feeling overwhelmed or misunderstood? What does it take to speak honestly without causing harm? With clarity and compassion, Alejandra shares ways to shift these habits and communicate with more presence, honesty, and care. She reminds us that it’s not about getting it right every time. It’s about noticing what’s happening and choosing to show up differently, one conversation at a time. Quotes “Stonewalling generates emotional abandonment. When someone stonewalls, they’re essentially saying your feelings and your needs do not matter enough for me to stay engaged.” (05:14 | Alejandra Siroka) “By acknowledging that different people can experience the same situation differently without anyone being wrong, we create the space for multiple truths rather than imposing our own version of reality on others.” (10:44 | Alejandra Siroka) “Passive aggression creates confusion and mistrust because it sends mixed messages. You are expressing anger while you are denying you’re angry, making it impossible for others to respond appropriately.” (13:28 | Alejandra Siroka) “Direct communication is your remedy. Direct communication doesn’t mean being harsh. It means being clear and kind simultaneously and giving others the information they need to understand you and respond to you.” (15:54 | Alejandra Siroka) “When we call another person a name, we’re dehumanizing them. And we stop seeing them as the precious human being with needs and feelings and positive qualities that they truly are.” (18:19 | Alejandra Siroka) Links Episode 34. Conscious Defending from Gaslighting https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcasts/language-alchemy-podcast/episodes/2147696153 Choosing True Connection Online Course: https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
Most of us don’t mean to hurt the people we care about. So why do certain conversations leave others feeling unseen, dismissed, or blamed? In this episode, Alejandra Siroka continues her series on aggressive communication by shining a light on four patterns that often go unnoticed: dismissing, derogatory criticism, blame shifting, and bringing up the past. These habits show up in everyday moments, during a disagreement with a partner, a comment at work, or a response to a child’s frustration, and they quietly chip away at connection. Alejandra shares examples that make these habits easy to recognize, even if you didn’t realize you were using them. She offers a thoughtful shift: acknowledging someone’s experience without needing to agree with it. From there, she walks through what it looks like to express hurt without attacking, to take responsibility without spiraling into shame, and to stay present rather than reaching for old grievances as ammunition. What would change if your hardest conversations felt safer? If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation wondering what just went wrong, this episode will help you understand why and give you tools to start communicating in a way that creates more trust, not less. Quotes “Dismissing is an aggressive habit that creates distance rather than understanding.” (05:56 | Alejandra Siroka) “Acknowledgement is not the same as agreement. When you acknowledge, you communicate to the other person that their experience is so. It is their experience.” (06:54 | Alejandra Siroka) “If you don’t know how to express your internal experience and share it with others, resentment will build and it will come out later as derogatory criticism.” (11:17 | Alejandra Siroka) “The conscious alternative is to take ownership of your mistakes, your interpretations, your projections, etc.” (14:19 | Alejandra Siroka) “In 99% of cases, there is no need to bring up the past, especially if you are doing it to hurt or to elicit guilt or to make someone wrong, which by the way, is violent communication.” (18:26 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
Most of us say we want peace in our relationships. So why do we still use words that create tension, distance, or even hurt? In this episode, Alejandra Siroka invites us to take a closer look at the everyday language we use and how some of it may be doing more harm than we realize. Without meaning to, we may be speaking in ways that shut others down, leads them to feel small, or quietly chip away at trust. Where do those habits come from? And how can we shift toward language that helps people feel safe, respected, and valued? Alejandra shares four common communication habits that many of us have picked up: interrupting, correcting to be right, shaming, and using body language that overpowers. With clarity and care, she explains why each one matters and offers simple, grounded ways to replace them with more thoughtful patterns. This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about noticing what’s happening in the space between you and the people you care about and choosing to show up differently. If you long for more connection, ease, and peace in your relationships, this episode is a powerful place to begin. Quotes “The condition of our relationships depends directly on our communication. The ways we speak to each other, listen to each other, and understand or misunderstand each other shape what’s present or absent in our relationships.” (06:16 | Alejandra Siroka) “If we want other people to feel safe with us, we need to be aware of talking over them or interrupting them. And we need to learn to let them say whatever they want to say, even if what they do say is what we thought they were going to say, and even if we don’t like what they’re saying.” (11:53 | Alejandra Siroka) “Correcting to be right is not just a disconnecting communication pattern, it is an aggressive one because it shows contempt and criticism for the other person.” (15:28 | Alejandra Siroka) “Shaming is about saying something that attacks the other person’s identity, character, role in the family or in the group, or their cultural background. And this often leads to the recipient of shame feeling badly about themselves, about who they are, and about their self-worth.” (19:45 | Alejandra Siroka) “Wouldn’t you want the people in your relationships to feel good about themselves, to feel confident, to feel that they have worth?” (21:56 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
Rowena Chiu spent 20 years unable to speak about her sexual assault after signing an NDA. Now, she’s using her voice to challenge power and change how we talk about trauma, truth, and legacy. Joining Alejandra Siroka in this episode, Rowena reflects on the cultural silence she grew up with as the daughter of Chinese immigrants, and how emotional scarcity and obedience shaped her response to assault. As a former assistant to Harvey Weinstein, she was coerced into signing a non-disclosure agreement that kept her silent for two decades. That silence was compounded by a culture that didn’t talk about sex, power, or emotional needs. Together, Rowena and Alejandra examine what it means to leave a communication legacy for our children—one that makes space for difficult conversations about mental health, sexual assault, and personal boundaries. Rowena speaks openly about how she reclaimed her voice, why advocacy became part of her healing, and how power dynamics show up in everyday life. This episode is a reminder that silence isn’t always chosen, and that breaking it can be an act of justice, healing, and love. Quotes “Nobody in Asian culture talks about sex. We don’t talk about sex at all, let alone in the context of sexual assault.” (06:47 | Rowena Chiu) “Power is not given to us as a right, each of us, even if you are the king of England, it is not given to you as a right to abuse.” (24:49 | Rowena Chiu) “Any abuse of power, no matter how benign, in its own way is a violence.” (25:31 | Rowena Chiu) “This is not just about telling a factual story of what happened to me as a young woman, but we’ve really been propelled into a social justice fight. The more you dig under the surface of this fight, the more fundamental and basic it is. It’s really about elevating those that cannot communicate.” (28:53 | Rowena Chiu) “I think that one of the deeply important communication legacy is the ability to normalize difficult conversations.” (32:46 | Rowena Chiu) Links Find Rowena Chiu on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Rowena-Chiu-for-School-Board/61564076595785/?_rdr , Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chiu_rowena/?hl=en To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
1 165. Finding Your Voice After Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Survivor’s Journey Through the 4 Stages of Healing. Interview with Leila Reyes 39:39
Speaking up can feel impossible when shame has kept you silent for so long. But what if finding your voice was the key to healing? Alejandra Siroka sits down with Leila Reyes, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, to talk about the power of communication in the healing process. Leila shares her journey of confronting her past, reclaiming her voice, and choosing to speak out even when it felt terrifying. How does shame take root in silence? Why do so many survivors of sexual abuse struggle to ask for help? Leila explains how unspoken trauma shapes self-worth and relationships, making it harder to seek support. She also offers a path forward, showing how speaking about painful experiences, whether in therapy, coaching, or personal reflection, can shift the way we see ourselves and the world. Alejandra and Leila also talk about the differences between therapy and coaching, to understand which kind of support might be right when. Therapy focuses on processing past trauma, while coaching helps create a path toward personal growth. Knowing when and how to ask for help can open new doors to healing. This episode is a reminder that healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Words have the power to free us, and finding the courage to speak, even in small ways, can be the first step toward breaking shame’s hold. Quotes “It’s not the abuse that’s causing the problem today. It’s your interpretation of the abuse. It’s the meaning that you make about the abuse.” (23:35 | Leila Reyes) “If you want to have a different experience, then ask for support. And then you’ll also be the source of being supported.” (24:25 | Leila Reyes) “And I’m going to tell you, to be living in a world where I know my inherent value, to be free of the beliefs and the thoughts that I had and the ways of showing up in the world, the ways of relating to people, it’s worth the journey.” (29:22 | Leila Reyes) “We need to have compassion for the part of us that went through that experience and the choices that we made even throughout our lives without the awareness that we were living from that interpretation.” (33:41 | Leila Reyes) “Shame lives in secrecy, shame lives inside of our bodies, then the way that we can get free of shame is to speak it out loud.” (34:54 | Leila Reyes) Links Connect with Leila Reyes: https://leilareyes.com/ Freedom from Shame Book: https://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Shame-Trauma-Forgiveness-Healing/dp/1961347458?crid=2M8Y7ROPA2XAL&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.ZOT7xTbIuKBtna0cK6upPWjhuEp9HXCbhR_lTfEHgw15vHfZqpl9c2dRKMBUvbCQjn87R7QZ5a_Y58GcxkRhp0vaX80gyANUTdZflOjaO6ouzbdJT4Cdau1RYrisJFB8QSErM_n-PNnonTxvRLQrP0rrW8vEhrfJ-mwDWwsOhpcLSMReJWERVSfISH-2ppTREnXvu4QzINpkUZcHaOb8x204kYsADESSzj5ESlMArAQ.oEzj_yZ2iF08reScmR2r1aw3FHVUcno_QMKFwHn3OfA&dib_tag=se&keywords=leila+reyes+freedom&qid=1713215530&sprefix=,aps,142&sr=8-1&linkCode=sl1&tag=leilareyes0a-20&linkId=f619b77aeadf8c6be794b04919c99020&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
1 164. Rekindling Self-Love in Uncertain Times: 6 Communication Practices for Emotional Resilience 20:53
Heartbreak with life is real, but the way back is through truth, presence, and radical love. When the world feels heavy, how do we hold onto love for life, for ourselves, and for each other? Alejandra Siroka breaks it down with three simple but powerful ways to lean into love. Grounding in the present helps quiet fear. Practicing radical tenderness is an act of strength. Serving others restores a sense of purpose. But what about the moments when love for life starts slipping away? Alejandra shares three practices to keep that connection alive. Expressing emotions in safe spaces prevents the weight of unspoken feelings. Building a gratitude practice shifts perspective. Finding true community creates real belonging. In this episode, Alejandra reminds us that even in difficult times, love isn’t something we have to wait for. It is something we choose every day. Quotes “We are collectively experiencing a heartbreak with life and reality. And as I see it, we stand at a crossroads. We can either succumb to these feelings, engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors and surrendering to depression, anxiety, and fear, or we can undertake the noble, albeit challenging, work of rekindling our love for life and our love for ourselves.” (02:45 | Alejandra Siroka) “When we anchor ourselves in the now, we reclaim our power from imagined future fears or traumatic moments in the past.” (06:25 | Alejandra Siroka) “This tenderness isn't a weakness. It takes tremendous courage because it is choosing love instead of feeding fear.” (09:08 | Alejandra Siroka) “A lot can change if you allow yourself to speak what’s true. A lot can heal if you trust others with your vulnerability.” (12:11 | Alejandra Siroka) “Your feelings deserve to be heard, to be witnessed. Your truth deserves to be spoken.” (12:34 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on Instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
The way we communicate isn’t just about what we say. It’s about the courage to ask how our words land and the impact they leave behind. Alejandra Siroka explores the power of checking in on the impact of our words, not to seek validation, but to show care and build trust. She shares a personal story about a conversation with a friend, whose intentional follow-up turned a potentially difficult discussion into a moment of deeper understanding. Through this, Alejandra reveals how a willingness to ask, ‘How did my words land with you?’ can transform the way we communicate. This episode introduces the “Impact Check-in Practice,” a six-step approach designed to help you create a safe space for honest dialogue, listen without defensiveness, and express genuine care. Alejandra breaks it down into practical steps you can apply in conversations with friends, colleagues, and even those who see the world differently. Alejandra leaves listeners with a challenge: reach out to three people you’ve had meaningful conversations with and check in on how your words affected them. The goal isn’t to be perfect. It’s to open the door for real connection, growth, and understanding. Quotes “One of the most profound acts of love we can offer another person is to circle back with them and ask, ‘How did my words impact you?’” (01:39 | Alejandra Siroka) “Checking in about our impact is a form of love, of communicating love out loud.” (02:14 | Alejandra Siroka) “This practice isn’t about being perfect or about receiving validation. It’s about being present, about creating a deeper sense of connection and being committed to growing as a conscious human being.” (11:22 | Alejandra Siroka) “Every time you check in about impact, you’re not just building stronger relationships. You are contributing to a more empathic and understanding world.” (15:57 | Alejandra Siroka) Links Impact Check In Free Reference Guide: LanguageAlchemy.com/impactcheckin To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
“It takes really an amazing amount of sort of infusing the whole system of the self and the mindstream with compassion to actually be curious about the ways that we are in the world,” says Kelly Blaser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of Dharma Bridge and Soma Psychotherapy. In this episode, Kelly joins Alejandra Siroka to explore how compassionate self-inquiry can help us uncover the deeper layers of who we are. What happens when we stop running from discomfort and instead meet ourselves with curiosity? Kelly shares her 312 practice, a simple and useful tool to interrupt self-critical voices and invite a more compassionate inner dialogue. Through relatable examples and insights, Kelly invites us to consider: How much of our identity is shaped by old stories, and how can we begin to loosen their grip? Join Kelly and Alejandra’s conversation to get gentle guidance for navigating anxiety, self-judgment, and the moments of stillness where healing begins. Quotes “It takes really an amazing amount of sort of infusing the whole system of the self and the mindstream with compassion to actually be curious about the ways that we are in the world.” (06:22 | Kelly Blaser) “My teacher used to say, ‘You are not a monolith. You think you’re a monolith. You’re not a monolith.’ We’re actually composed of distinct personalities. She originally called it subpersonalities. She doesn’t use that language anymore. If you see a part of yourself arise that’s reactive, that is experiencing shame, that is experiencing some kind of suffering, then it’s very helpful to have a way to distance yourself from that part without bypassing that part.” (14:59 | Kelly Blaser) “What this practice is really the best at doing is interrupting ruminative, self-critical voices. So then when you think about a person who acts out in a big way and what is the moment where they’re most likely to be in ruminative, self-critical voices, it’s probably not while the tension is building prior to the explosion. It’s probably afterwards.” (18:45 | Kelly Blaser) “Witness consciousness can help because then it takes away some of the barriers to feeling because we don’t take it so seriously if we can see ourselves from the outside. And so, then, we can kind of inquire, what does it feel like in this body? What’s circulating around here?” (26:06 | Kelly Blaser) Links Connect with Kelly Blaser: Dharma Bridge https://dharmabridge.net/ Kelly Blaser https://kellyblaser.com/ Soma Psychotherapy https://www.somapsychotherapy.com/yoga 2025 Power of Meditation Summit: https://kelly-blaser.mykajabi.com/a/2148010679/zBQLdFd8 To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
“Connection is present in a relationship when we feel accepted as we are.” What makes relationships thrive? In this episode, Alejandra Siroka shares the two values she believes are at the heart of every meaningful relationship: safety and connection. Drawing from her personal experiences and years of coaching, Alejandra shows us how these values shape the way we interact and build trust with others. Alejandra shares a childhood story that points out how connection can repair even the most tender moments of conflict. What does it mean to feel safe in a relationship? She explains that safety goes beyond physical security, touching on emotional and cultural freedom, while connection fulfills our deep human need to belong and feel understood. Through relatable examples, Alejandra explores how these values show up differently for everyone. Why do some people crave reassurance while others withdraw under pressure? Understanding your primary relational value can unlock more harmonious, long-lasting and authentic relationships. Alejandra offers practical tools to reflect on your core values and begin transforming your communication patterns. This episode is an invitation to approach yourself and others with more compassion. Tune in to discover how safety and connection can nurture relationships that truly feel alive. Quotes “Safety and connection are the primary colors from which all other relational values are painted.” (05:33 | Alejandra Siroka) “In essence, when we talk about safety in relationships, we talk about the freedom to move, be, and express ourselves without having to protect any aspect of ourselves from the other person.” (06:59 | Alejandra Siroka) “Connection is present in the joy we feel when someone truly gets us, in the comfort of feeling listened to, in the delight we experience when someone celebrates us or something that is important to us.” (07:26 | Alejandra Siroka) “Once the couples I coach understand their partner’s primary core relational value, they uncover a whole new way of seeing, understanding, and communicating with their partners.” (13:42 | Alejandra Siroka) “If someone feels unsafe or disconnected from you, remember that 99% of the time, it’s not about you. It’s about their past experiences and learned responses that have become communication patterns.” (17:55 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion Group Coaching: https://www.languagealchemy.com/groupcoaching To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
Healthy relationships start with honest conversations, mutual respect, and the courage to share what matters most. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka shares four insights for healthier relationships, and offers tools to help us deepen our connections in the year ahead. What does it mean to truly reveal your inner experience—your feelings, values, and needs—to those you care about? Alejandra shares a relatable story of a couple stuck in surface-level conversations, using it to point out how vulnerability and open communication can bring people closer. She talks about the core values of safety and connection, and shows us how these create the foundation for trust and understanding. Do you know how to set boundaries in a way that strengthens your relationships? Alejandra explains how clear and respectful boundaries not only protect your well-being but also invite authenticity and respect from others. She reminds us that healthy relationships require generosity: the ability to give what we ask for—whether it’s listening with presence, acknowledgment, or respect for boundaries. If this episode resonates in your heart and you’re longing for more meaningful connections, Alejandra invites you to her Healthy Relationships Vision Workshop. Learn more at languagealchemy.com/vision . Quotes “If you want to have a healthy relationship with the closest people in your life, you have to, number one, learn to reveal what’s in your heart. You need to be able to share your feelings, your values, your wishes, and your needs.” (04:52 | Alejandra Siroka) “If you want to have healthy relationships, you need to be able to be direct and explicit about your inner experience.” (06:19 | Alejandra Siroka) “Healthy relationships rest on the foundation of two core relational values: safety and connection. To be able to share your inner experience with someone else, you need to feel safe to talk about it. And you need to experience a deeper sense of connection after you have revealed your inner experience.” (06:39 | Alejandra Siroka) “There is no healthy relationship without healthy boundaries.” (10:17 | Alejandra Siroka) “Authentic conscious communication means moving beyond the surface to share what’s really alive in your heart and mind.” (16:34 | Alejandra Siroka) Links Healthy Relationships Vision Workshop: https://www.languagealchemy.com/vision To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
“I think both of us have had moments where the angel on our shoulder, or our internal dialogue, is literally Alejandra’s voice. Like, ‘What would she want us to do in this scenario? What would she want me to do in this scenario? Would she be proud of how I handled that really difficult situation?’ When I was feeling all my emotions—when I felt wronged, misunderstood, or at the height of my anger, sadness, or frustration—how did it actually present to my partner?” shares Danyelle Pollock, as she reflects on the intentional work it takes to grow together in a relationship. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka sits down with Danyelle and Tristan Pollock, who share their insights on how to grow in your marriage and thrive in your relationship through conscious communication. They talk about overcoming patterns shaped by their past, finding tools to navigate conflicts, and building stronger connections through shared understanding. What does it take to turn disagreements into opportunities for growth? How do you support each other while honoring your individual needs? From their early days of dating to their experience as parents and world travelers, Danyelle and Tristan show us how intentional communication has become a cornerstone of their relationship. Their story offers invaluable lessons for couples looking to deepen their connection while navigating the challenges of life together. Quotes “We had to really double-click on how each other were feeling, and that it’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to have conflict... We really had to learn that disagreements are okay, and it’s how we learn and we grow together. It’s how we start to understand each other on a deeper level.” (08:50 | Danyelle Pollock) “Parenting… also gets you a lot of practice before it starts to get to a point where [our daughter’s] a teenager and you need to be extra cautious on how you’re hearing her and acknowledging her. And so, I think it’s been great work for us because when we started acknowledging how she felt instead of trying to solve it immediately, if she was sad or upset, we’d say, ‘Oh, so you want to do this?’ And then she’d be like, ‘Yeah,’ and it would almost stop her sadness instantly because she just felt heard. She felt like we knew what she was saying; we understood.” (22:48 | Tristan Pollock) “I feel like mistakes are inevitable. It’s just more of a commitment to growth and being able to share how you would have liked to do it. And next time, hopefully it goes better. Mistakes happen. Being open-minded and lessening judgment is one of the values. We have four values up on our fridge that we’re trying to use as a general guideline as we're building a family and how we want to think about things, and I think that’s the big one too. We’re here because we want to be, and we want to be better.” (26:04 | Tristan Pollock) “I think both of us have had moments where the angel on our shoulder, or our internal dialogue, is literally Alejandra’s voice. Like, what would she want us to do in this scenario? What would she want me to do in this scenario? Would she be proud of how I handled that really difficult situation? When I was feeling all my emotions—when I felt wronged, misunderstood, or at the height of my anger, sadness, or frustration—how did it actually present to my partner?” (26:46 | Danyelle Pollock) Links Connect with Danyelle & Tristan Pollock: https://www.tristanpollock.com/ https://www.heywedidthat.com/ Apply for the Language Alchemy Group Coaching Program: LanguageAlchemy.com/groupcoaching To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
“If we keep avoiding difficult topics, how are we going to learn to address them?” Alejandra Siroka poses this question with urgency and clarity. She reminds us that “having different political views is not a problem. In fact, it is healthy to have people who see the world, the problems of the world, and the potential solutions in multiple ways.” In this episode, Alejandra shares practical advice on fostering healthy conversations about politics with family members. What happens when a holiday gathering feels overshadowed by divisive topics? Can we bridge the gap without compromising connection? She believes it’s possible—and even essential. Alejandra offers tools to help turn conflict into connection, starting with checking your intentions and focusing on shared values. Small, intentional “micro conversations” can plant seeds for understanding over time, while skillful disagreement opens the door for mutual respect. Alejandra also encourages embracing the uncertainty of unresolved issues, reframing these discussions as opportunities to grow together. With warmth and wisdom, Alejandra challenges us to remember the humanity we share with those we love, even when opinions differ. Tune in to learn actionable tips for transforming tense family discussions into moments of connection and mutual understanding. Quotes “Intentions are the foundation of relational communication. Agendas are the foundation of transactional communication, and they lead us to divisiveness.” (05:02 | Alejandra Siroka) “When talking about politics, it’s super important that you are explicit about your intention. When you communicate your intention out loud, that serves as both the foundation to ground your conversation and also as its north star to determine the direction of the conversation.” (06:00 | Alejandra Siroka) “It is not only okay to have different opinions and views and be able to talk about them; it is useful and beneficial. But we get in trouble when we disagree unskillfully.” (10:17 | Alejandra Siroka) “All human beings want to feel safe, loved, accepted, and valued. You want that and your relative wants that, too. And even though you may disagree on how to go about getting your human needs met or your values fulfilled, you are both humans sharing a life and space.” (14:32 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
“Anxiety is a common human experience,” says Alejandra Siroka, as she shines a light on communication anxiety—something many of us face, especially during the holidays or in tense social situations. How can we speak with clarity and confidence when nerves take over? In this episode, Alejandra offers five simple steps to help shift the dynamic. From grounding yourself through mindful breathing to visualizing more positive interactions, Alejandra shares tools that calm the nervous system and build confidence. She reminds us of the power of preparation—having thoughtful topics or questions ready can turn an anxious conversation into a connecting moment. This episode is an invitation to approach communication with more ease and compassion. You can transform your communication anxiety, and if you use these steps as a practice, you will decrease your communication anxiety over time. What could change for you if you practiced these steps? Quotes “Confidence is the antidote to anxiety. And, by the way, the etymology of the word confidence is ‘to have faith.’ In this case, it means to have faith in your ability to talk to others with clarity, with presence, with kindness, with strength.” (05:07 | Alejandra Siroka) “When we breathe into the belly center, our voice comes from that area down below instead of coming from the throat area. And when our voice originates in the belly, it is stronger, more resonant, more confident.” (08:08 | Alejandra Siroka) “Anxiety is not innovative. When we have anxiety, we view in our mind’s eye something that has already occurred in the past.” (09:13 | Alejandra Siroka) “Thinking of others helps us decrease anxiety because anxious thoughts are usually about us, our performance, our abilities, and how we may be seen by others in negative ways.” (13:01 | Alejandra Siroka) “Even in situations when people experienced a lot of trauma, if you ask questions about sweet and funny memories when they were kids, you will find surprising answers and connecting conversations.” (15:05 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
1 156. The War in Gaza: How 2 Friends, an Arab American and an Israeli American Found Common Ground Despite Their Different Views Part 2 26:49
“The Jews aren’t going anywhere. The Palestinians aren’t going anywhere. They’re either going to live there side-by-side fighting forever, or they’re going to live side-by-side in peace somehow.” In this episode, Alejandra Siroka continues her conversation with Kawthar Duncan and Noam Szoke—two friends whose backgrounds might suggest they’d be on opposite sides of the debate. How do you sustain a friendship when the world around you seems divided? Through open dialogue and genuine care, Kawthar and Noam share how they’ve navigated the emotional complexities of the ongoing conflict in Gaza while maintaining a strong connection. What does it take to truly listen to someone with a different perspective? How can friendships thrive amid geopolitical tensions? Kawthar and Noam’s story shows us the power of empathy and mutual understanding, and reminds us that it’s possible to find common ground even in the most challenging circumstances. Quotes “We could process it together. And that’s really what we’ve been doing this year is when we get together, we basically share our grief with each other. No need for comparison or hierarchies. Grief is grief.” (09:46 | Noam Szoke) “I feel a lot of grief for Gaza... I don’t feel that grief for just Palestinians. I feel it for the Israelis. I feel it for the Ukrainians... I don’t want to see it in our world. I don’t want my kids to have it in their lifetime.” (11:16 | Kawthar Duncan) “The Jews aren’t going anywhere. The Palestinians aren’t going anywhere. They’re either going to live there side-by-side fighting forever, or they’re going to live side-by-side in peace somehow.” (22:23 | Noam Szoke) “Listening to understand. It’s not listening to be understood. Going into any conversation with people of different backgrounds... it’s just listening to understand.” (23:28 | Kawthar Duncan) Links Organizations Noam mentioned: Standing Together: https://www.standing-together.org/en Combatants for Peace: https://cfpeace.org/ Bereaved Families Forum: https://www.progressiveisrael.org/the-bereaved-parents-circle-parents-circle-families-forum/ Choosing True Connection Online Course: https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
1 155. The War in Gaza: How 2 Friends, an Arab American and an Israeli American Found Common Ground Despite Their Different Views 27:37
“I wouldn’t go by Kawthar because I didn’t want people to know I was Arab American or I was different. I wanted to be as American as possible and felt like I always needed to say I was patriotic. It took almost a decade for me to get to a place where I was like, ‘No, I’m proud of my parents. I’m proud of what they did to bring me here,’” shares Kawthar Duncan, opening up about the internal struggle she faced growing up. In this episode, Alejandra Siroka brings together Kawthar, an Arab American immigrant, and Noam Szoke, an Israeli American immigrant, to show how two people from different origins—and historically opposing backgrounds—found refuge in their friendship. What does it mean to connect with someone whose life experiences seem so different from your own? Kawthar and Noam share how they built a meaningful friendship through honesty, shared experiences of immigration, and the willingness to confront cultural stereotypes together. Their conversation reveals the discomfort of facing prejudice—whether Islamophobia or anti-Semitism—and the unexpected bond these discussions created. How do friendships like theirs offer hope in a divided world? As they reflect on their relationship, they offer a powerful example of how genuine dialogue can bridge even the deepest divides, and fosters understanding and connection across cultural barriers. This episode challenges us to consider the transformative power of friendship in overcoming differences and creating lasting empathy, even in the most challenging of circumstances. Quotes “I’ve been fortunate to not experience any kind of overt anti-Semitism in my life. Kawthar has experienced Islamophobia, as it’s called, in hers that had a big impact on me.” (08:42 | Noam Szoke) “One of the things I remember very clearly my father told me that always impacted me was him saying, the Arabs are our cousins. And so, Kawthar and I started calling each other ‘cousin.’” (09:20 | Noam Szoke) “Post-9/11, it was just very different to be an immigrant and to be a refugee and now to be an American citizen here in a place that is home. It is home for me, but others don’t see me as a person that belongs here, and that I’ve harmed this country, the generalization of it.” (11:39 | Kawthar Duncan) “I wouldn’t go by Kawthar because I didn’t want people to know I was Arab American or I was different. I wanted to be as American as possible and felt like I always needed to say I was patriotic. It took almost a decade for me to get to a place where I was like, ‘No, I’m proud of my parents. I’m proud of what they did to bring me here.’” (13:08 | Kawthar Duncan) Links Choosing True Connection Online Course: https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
“Stop thinking about the differences. Try to find the similarities. Try to find the things you do feel similarly about. And don’t go trying to convince anybody else that your way is right. It’s obviously right for you. It may not even be right for them.” Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson, a seasoned psychologist with decades of experience in family dynamics and Alejandra’s mother-in-law, gives heartfelt advice in this episode of The Language Alchemy. In a world where family gatherings often bring together different perspectives, beliefs, and cultures, Ellen and Alejandra offer a compassionate way to navigate those differences with grace. Ellen shares her thoughts on building relationships with in-laws who come from different backgrounds or hold opposing views. How can we focus on what connects us instead of what divides us? By letting go of the need to prove your point, Ellen suggests, you open the door to mutual respect and understanding, which are both essential for creating harmony in family dynamics. As Ellen and Alejandra vulnerably share how the two of them cultivated an adult loving relationship, they highlight the importance of intentional communication. Could it be that these differences, instead of being obstacles, are opportunities for deeper understanding? Their conversation is a reminder that when we listen and seek common ground, relationships have the potential to grow, even when beliefs or cultures don’t fully align. Quotes “I thought about all the mother-in-law jokes that we have in our culture, which are so negative and so disparaging. And why is it? Because we are afraid that whatever special relationship we have with our child is going to be disturbed in some way. We're not understanding that we have different kinds of love. We love our spouses in one way. We love our children in one way. We love our friends in one way.” (10:38 | Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson) “Our relationship has also been a great gift to me. Gift often implies that you don’t do anything to get it, but that’s really not the case. I think you’ve said very clearly that we had a lot of work to do. And what was the work? I mean, you came from a different culture. I had to learn about the culture. The difference is to respect it and not ever see it as something less than, or than the culture I was raised in.” (12:50 | Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson) “If somebody’s idea is, you think, in opposition to you, I think it’s more helpful just to think of it as a different idea, a very different idea, and not one that you’re probably going to talk them out of.” (23:05 | Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson) “Stop thinking about the differences. Try to find the similarities. Try to find the things you do feel similarly about. And don’t go trying to convince anybody else that your way is right. It’s obviously right for you. It may not even be right for them.” (32:49 | Dr. Ellen Siroka Robinson) Links To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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The Language Alchemy Podcast
“How can you respond to compliments skillfully? To respond skillfully, you need to be rooted in your own being,” Alejandra Siroka shares as she discusses the nature of receiving compliments. Many of us avoid or downplay praise because we feel uncomfortable. Why is that? While compliments are intended to express appreciation, they can sometimes feel like judgments, causing discomfort. Alejandra points out that our uneasiness may stem from past experiences, societal expectations, or even the dynamic between the person giving and receiving the compliment. Have you ever found yourself quickly returning a compliment, brushing it off, or downplaying it with self-deprecating humor? These are all signs of discomfort, and Alejandra explains how recognizing these patterns is the first step toward responding with greater confidence and ease. In this episode, Alejandra offers helpful advice on how to respond to compliments in a way that feels sincere and strengthens relationships. When we practice offering thoughtful responses, like expressing true gratitude or acknowledging the positive intent behind a compliment, it helps us become more comfortable accepting praise instead of avoiding it. Quotes “Compliments, praise, and even expressions of gratitude are usually positive remarks that communicate approval or admiration. When people say them out loud, they often hope the recipient will feel seen, valued, and good about themselves. However, even with the best of intentions, these remarks can sometimes elicit discomfort in the recipient for various reasons. If you feel uncomfortable receiving them and don’t know how to respond, you are not alone.” (04:04 | Alejandra Siroka) “How can you respond to compliments skillfully? To respond skillfully, you need to be rooted in your own being. That means having a deep understanding of yourself—your strengths, your abilities—while also being aware of your capacity to grow. The key is to have self-awareness without feeling arrogant or superior, but rather with a sense of healthy humility.” (13:01 | Alejandra Siroka) “If you notice that expressing or receiving gratitude or praise is something you struggle with, it can make it difficult to form a true sense of connection with the people with whom you want to have deep, close, or meaningful relationships.” (15:13 | Alejandra Siroka) Links To learn about Choosing True Connection Online Course, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/enroll To leave a review on Apple Podcasts, click: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-language-alchemy-podcast/id1576461366 To leave a review on Spotify, click: https://open.spotify.com/show/5yTj9hSotq8EAjPCYg2jYw?si=aQNuoStRQomTNUKHGSD56A&nd=1&dlsi=064dcb42ba8d4706 To work with Alejandra, visit: www.languagealchemy.com/workwithme To join the Language Alchemy mailing list, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com To ask questions you'd like Alejandra to answer in the podcast, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/podcastquestion To find out about 1:1 transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/oneonone To find out about couple transformative communication coaching with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/couples To schedule a reduced-rate coaching consultation with Alejandra, visit: https://www.languagealchemy.com/newclient To follow Alejandra on instagram follow @languagealchemy Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm…
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