1: Who Am I?

BE TRUE BE HAPPY BE YOURSELF WITH YUKI MIYAKI

Transcript For Ep1:

Welcome to Be True, Be Happy, Be Yourself show, I'm Yuki Miyaki. In this episode, I will be sharing with you my personal story.

Before we start, I would like to ask everyone to remove yourself of your name, your labels, your job titles and your status at home…

And tell me, do you still know who you are?

The reason why I’m asking is that there was a point in my life when someone asked me the same question and it made me realize, I have been living in doubt my whole life because I never really knew who I really was.

So today, the message that I want to share with you guys is “Who am I? And How to be your true honest self”.

I grew up in a poor family. My grandmother was a traditional woman with old-fashioned family values. We lived under the same roof with our extended families, among them were my father who was the second child in the family and my three aunties.

Although there were thirty of us living in the same house, the same loud noisy household every day, but at the same time, this hustle and bustle added so much life to our family.

Even though I was not the first grandchild, I was the eldest granddaughter, and this status gave me additional responsibility.

My brother who was 2 years older than me, was a mischievous child.

I was the one my mother called every morning before she went to work.

I still remember her reminder quickly became my responsibility, “You have to keep an eye on your brother, don’t let him get in trouble, do you understand?”

Isn’t it ironic? There I was, a younger sister, yet I was being told to look after my elder brother to stop him from causing problems and embarrassing the family.

To prove to my mother that I was an obedient child who could follow her orders and not embarrass the family, I would do everything perfectly, treat everyone politely, prevent my brother from getting into trouble and staying out of it myself.

It was only later in life that I realised how my behaviour was actually a cry for love, a desire for validation over who I was.

And because of this need for approval, I made sure my results were always good.

Throughout 6 years of primary school, I was a model student, won countless awards in school competitions. My academic accomplishments and my parents’ expectations of me determined who I was — a person my parents wanted me to be.

Perhaps it was because I grew up in a big family, I somehow became a person who lived my life revolving around others, seeking their approval and validation. I learned that if I wanted people to like me, I had to work harder to be better. This mindset made me view everything in life to be transactional, that is in order to get something, I have to do this and If I don't, something else will happen.

As I grew older, I started to realise that while I’ve been caring so much about what other

people thought of me, I’ve completely failed to look after my own feelings, voice, wants and needs. Since I was little, I’ve always had more male friends than female friends. I never understood why my closest girlfriends would leave me eventually. It took me a while before I realised that it was because of my competitive nature, my desire to show off that drove all my girlfriends away.

At this point, I had to ask myself, who am I? Whose life am I living?

One day, I met a teacher who told me this, “The sun may ra-di-ate sunlight and energy,

but the afternoon sun still burns.” This simple sentence made me realise that I will always be the sun, but I can choose to be a morning sun that showers people with warmth, so they can feel the love and comfort and go towards this source of light and positivity in life.

I didn’t have to prove anything to anyone or live up to their expectations of me to validate my existence, I am a star and I shine on my own. Slowly but surely, I started to have more true friends and this made me feel so content and happy. For the first time in my life, I realised that being your true honest self is something so rewarding and liberating.

Growing up, we might have some hurtful words being thrown at us from our family, and these words might have unknowingly left a scar inside our hearts. Looking back at my behaviour, I realised that everything was actually a reflection of my insecurities, the feeling that I’m never good enough to be loved. It is only until I’m willing to let go of the pain and hurt that I’ve felt since childhood, then I can heal my scars, face this world with my true honest self and be the person I want to be instead of what others expect me to be.

Do you still know who you are? If you’re still on the journey of discovering and becoming your true honest self, these little tips might help you along the way.

1. Seeing the truth

Consciously reflect on your childhood memories, remember your feelings, support, and validate your emotions and never judge or belittle yourself. If you want to remove yourself off the labels that other people gave you, you must first be willing to see yourself for who you are.

2. Acceptance

Accept yourself for who you are, which includes the good and the bad side. No matter how unbearable you might find your childhood self to be, learn to love, and support them. Acknowledge that this is who you are, you might not be perfect but your imperfections are what makes you special. Be that imperfect self because that’s your true honest self.

3. Gratitude

Be grateful for everything and everyone you’ve encountered in your life because every single experience has taught us something valuable about ourselves. Every incident that took place in your life is a milestone of achievement, live it, cherish it and let it guide us to become a better person.

As a successful female entrepreneur blessed with a loving family, most people tend to see the seemingly perfect side of my life. But just like everyone else, I face challenges too and when I do, I will also feel scared and frustrated, I also want to cry and run away. But when I finally learned to embrace my true self, I no longer cared about what other people thought about me and their expectations of me. It’s important to remember that we can never impress everybody, so just do what you think is right and honorable. Live your life and be your true honest self in the most exciting way possible!

Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn and the links will be in the show notes.

I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you more stories about my life and how you can Be True, Be Happy and Be Yourself !

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