Accepting Better Apart & The Secrets to Getting Along - Gabrielle Hartley

Better Than Bitter™ Divorce Podcast

Episode 8: Accepting Better Apart & The Secrets to Getting Along - Gabrielle Hartley

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Our guest for today's episode:

Gabrielle Hartley

Gabrielle Hartley, Esq. is an online divorce mediator, former court to NYS Supreme Court Judge Jeffrey Sunshine, past American Bar Association Mediation Committee co-chair and is currently in a leadership position at the American Bar Association Dispute Resolution Section . She is the author of Better Apart; The Radically Positive Way to Separate (Harper Collins 2019) and The Secret to Getting Along and Why It's Easier than You Think (Sourcebooks 2023). She has a popular TEDx on how to get along better using her Y.E.S. Method. Gabrielle is focused on making the world a better place by making divorce easier, and less acrimonious for children and families. She is a graduate of Brooklyn Law School and Cornell University.

Gabrielle's Website

Divorce Support Resources

• Ted Talk
• Book: Better Apart; The Radically Positive Way to Separate

Summary

In this conversation, Tania Leichliter and Gabrielle Hartley explore the complexities of divorce, emphasizing the importance of mindfulness, emotional management, and effective communication. They discuss how acceptance and clarity can lead to better decision-making during the divorce process and the significance of forgiveness and self-compassion. The conversation also touches on the impact of divorce on children, the necessity of building a supportive network, and the transformative potential of the YES method for communication. Ultimately, they advocate for viewing divorce as an opportunity for personal growth and reestablishing one's identity.

Takeaways

• Divorce can be navigated with mindfulness and emotional awareness.
• Emotional management is crucial for a smoother divorce process.
• Acceptance of the situation is key to moving forward.
• Forgiveness is about self-acceptance and letting go of bitterness.
• Building a supportive network is essential during divorce.
• Positive communication about ex-partners benefits children.
• Children can develop resilience through their parents' divorce.
• Reestablishing identity post-divorce is vital for personal growth.
• The YES method helps clarify needs in communication.
• Rethinking marriage contracts could change relationship dynamics.

Sound Bites

"You need to be a child."

"You have to go through it."

"You can do it."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Gabrielle Hartley and Her Work

06:58 Essential Elements of a Better Divorce

13:31 Reframing Divorce as an Opportunity

20:57 Overcoming Stigma and Shame in Divorce

36:10 The Concept of a Marriage Contract with Renewal Options

37:02 Top Tips for Navigating Divorce

39:48 The YES Method for Effective Communication

41:30 Keeping Children at the Forefront of Divorce Discussions

Keywords

divorce, mindfulness, emotional management, acceptance, forgiveness, communication, children, identity, YES method, marriage contracts

Thanks for tuning in to Better Than Bitter™, navigating an amicable divorce. Whether you are at the beginning of your divorce journey, midway through, or even done, we want the stories from our guests to give you hope that an amicable resolution is possible. If you'd like to dive deeper into today's episode, check out our show notes for a full transcript, reflections, and links to learn more about Better Than Bitter's coaching courses, and how to connect with our fabulous guests. If you're ready for more support, you can head over to betterthanbitter.coach .

On our website you'll find details and additional information on our 5-Step Gameplan multimedia course, our different types of coaching methods, monthly memberships, events and retreats, and a whole lot more. Plus, we've got a ton of free resources, like our monthly newsletter, our private Facebook group, our Instagram channel, and a library of articles and free webinars to help you along the way. When you go to our website, you'll be able to schedule a free 45-minute breakthrough call. Remember, we're here to help you reach an amicable resolution. Find your courage and believe in your brighter future because you know what? It is possible.

At Better Than Bitter™, we measure success by what we give and not by what we get. So let's change the divorce dialogue together. It's time to be better than bitter.

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Mentioned in this episode:

5-Day Challenge: From Striving to Thriving

From Surviving to Thriving – A Free 5-Day Challenge Are you feeling lost, overwhelmed, or stuck in the aftermath of divorce? In this episode, host Tania Leichliter shares her personal journey and invites you to take a powerful step toward healing. Join the FREE 5-Day Challenge: From Surviving to Thriving Through Divorce & Beyond, where Tania will help you: ✅ Clear emotional clutter & release resentment ✅ Shift from fear to courage & confidence ✅ Redefine your future on your terms ✅ Break free from limiting beliefs & reclaim YOU This live challenge will be streamed in the Better Than Bitter Private Facebook Group from March 2nd–6th, 7:30–8:30 PM EST. 💡 Want lifetime access to recordings and bonus transformational coursework? Upgrade to VIP for exclusive Zoom sessions! 🔗 Register now and start your journey to thriving: https://betterthanbitter.coach/5-day-Challenge-Reg Let’s move forward—together! 💙