23. Childless and Happy, with Melissa Symons

It's Really None of Our Business Podcast

Amanda and Monica talk to Melissa Symons about her decision to not have children. Melissa feels that she never wanted children.

At 42 she says she is really happy about her decision. We discuss whether Melissa's childhood caused her to reject the notion of motherhood, as she was "done" taking care of people. Melissa spent most of her life taking care of her mother's emotional needs and feels she is done taking care of people.

Melissa feels that because she felt she wasn't nurtured she never learned how. So the mothering instinct never kicked in.

Amanda reads a blog where she discusses a woman who never had children, how her life is made up of all the wonderful things she wants to do, reading, going out for dinner, and having drinks.

But, after she visited some friends who were exhausted and overcome with not having enough sleep and being exhausted. The writer realizes that even though she can do whatever she wants, she is faced with being alone when she is old. She wonders who will be there alongside her when she dies.

We discuss different ways to be happy. We discuss that family, purpose, and community are the things that make all people happy. A family can be made from a community, and purpose can be anything that fills you with joy.

WTF: We all agree that the guy asking for compensation is an asshole!

AITA for asking for compensation for something my kid destroyed? We hired a babysitter we've had a few times at a good rate of $20/hr since it was only for 3 hours in our home. The babysitter is a 19-year-old woman if it matters, I think maybe the age will affect something. My wife had to rush to work in an emergency and I was already at work. The babysitter is already familiar with some of our rules like our 3y/o is only allowed in the living room, playroom, and dining room (when eating).

The babysitter I guess had an emergency herself and had to be on the phone for 20 minutes. For some reason, she decided to take the call outside, her rationale was it was private, and didn't want our child to listen in. In those 20 minutes, our daughter was able to move the couch to the living room gate, scale the gate, head into the basement, and pull one of my guitars off the wall. The neck is all warped and my luthier said the neck needs to be replaced.

I'm asking the babysitter to front the bill on a new guitar, not a repair or neck replacement, as the alternatives diminish the value of the guitar (mismatching neck-to-body severely impacts value, and a neck repair does too). It's $2,200. Am I the a$$hole here? Or is she? Her parents are telling us we're responsible, she's offering only to have babysat for free, our friends are saying we're too harsh, but it was her responsibility, right?