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内容由Michael Moore提供。所有播客内容(包括剧集、图形和播客描述)均由 Michael Moore 或其播客平台合作伙伴直接上传和提供。如果您认为有人在未经您许可的情况下使用您的受版权保护的作品,您可以按照此处概述的流程进行操作https://zh.player.fm/legal
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Making Sure Louisiana Posts God’s NEW 10 Commandments in Every Classroom

 
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Manage episode 425912518 series 3540164
内容由Michael Moore提供。所有播客内容(包括剧集、图形和播客描述)均由 Michael Moore 或其播客平台合作伙伴直接上传和提供。如果您认为有人在未经您许可的情况下使用您的受版权保护的作品,您可以按照此处概述的流程进行操作https://zh.player.fm/legal
Moses, upset at not being invited to the orgy with the Golden Calf, prepares to smash the tablets containing the 10 Commandments that God just wrote for him. (Because God then had to rewrite them, he declared Moses would not be allowed to enter the Promised Land.)

Friends,

Last week the state of Louisiana enacted a new law requiring the Ten Commandments be posted in every classroom in every school in the state — from kindergarten to the final year of college.

But it looks like Louisiana will be posting the wrong 10 Commandments! God has recently updated his original 10 from the Bible — and Louisiana needs to make sure they’re posting the correct, and most current 10 Commandments. God (He/She/They) spoke to me recently and told me that they, in fact, have been updated, but that Heaven no longer had enough angels to carry the Word of God to everyone on Earth.

I said to God, “You have a website. Just post it there.”

God replied, “I’ve been having a lot of technical problems with my site. And now it seems to have crashed.”

I said, “You have a Son, remember? ‘Son of God?’ JC? That’s why we have kids now. To help us when we have internet problems. Why haven’t you asked him to fix this?”

“I have, and all he keeps saying is ‘Unplug your computer and then plug it back in.’”

Not wanting to get into a family squabble, I just said to God, “Give me your updated 10 Commandments. I’ll write them down on my tablet…”

“WAIT!” God bellowed. “You have your OWN tablet?”

“Yes, your sire or Lord or whatever you go by now, everybody these days has their own tablet. Just give me the new 10 Commandments and I will read them on my podcast so that they will be heard by a multitude of millions.”

And thus God decreed that I shall share the New 10 Commandments (or what God calls the “v.7.0”) with all of you — and the state of Louisiana.

Please listen and post.

— Mike


Share


The transcript for today’s episode is available here.


Click here to leave me a 60-second voice message (I might play it on a future podcast episode).


Music:

God Bless America” — Kate Smith


Episode Underwriters:

1) Shopify. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://www.shopify.com/rumble [all lowercase] and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features.

2) Babbel. Right now listeners of this podcast get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription at https://Babbel.com/rumble. Rules and restrictions may apply.


Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

** In order to have a troll-free, hate-free comments section — and because if there’s one thing I know about my crazy haters, they would rather spend an eternity in hell with Marjorie Taylor Greene than send me $5 if forced to become a paid subscriber — my Comments section here on my Substack is limited to paid subscribers. But, not to worry — anyone can send me their comments, opinions and thoughts by writing to me at mike@michaelmoore.com. I read every one of them, though obviously I can’t respond to all. The solution here is not optimal but it has worked and my Comments section has become a great meeting place for people wanting to discuss the ideas and issues I raise here. There is debate and disagreement, but it is refreshing to have it done with respect and civility, unfettered by the stench of bigotry and Q-anon insanity.

  continue reading

23集单集

Artwork
icon分享
 
Manage episode 425912518 series 3540164
内容由Michael Moore提供。所有播客内容(包括剧集、图形和播客描述)均由 Michael Moore 或其播客平台合作伙伴直接上传和提供。如果您认为有人在未经您许可的情况下使用您的受版权保护的作品,您可以按照此处概述的流程进行操作https://zh.player.fm/legal
Moses, upset at not being invited to the orgy with the Golden Calf, prepares to smash the tablets containing the 10 Commandments that God just wrote for him. (Because God then had to rewrite them, he declared Moses would not be allowed to enter the Promised Land.)

Friends,

Last week the state of Louisiana enacted a new law requiring the Ten Commandments be posted in every classroom in every school in the state — from kindergarten to the final year of college.

But it looks like Louisiana will be posting the wrong 10 Commandments! God has recently updated his original 10 from the Bible — and Louisiana needs to make sure they’re posting the correct, and most current 10 Commandments. God (He/She/They) spoke to me recently and told me that they, in fact, have been updated, but that Heaven no longer had enough angels to carry the Word of God to everyone on Earth.

I said to God, “You have a website. Just post it there.”

God replied, “I’ve been having a lot of technical problems with my site. And now it seems to have crashed.”

I said, “You have a Son, remember? ‘Son of God?’ JC? That’s why we have kids now. To help us when we have internet problems. Why haven’t you asked him to fix this?”

“I have, and all he keeps saying is ‘Unplug your computer and then plug it back in.’”

Not wanting to get into a family squabble, I just said to God, “Give me your updated 10 Commandments. I’ll write them down on my tablet…”

“WAIT!” God bellowed. “You have your OWN tablet?”

“Yes, your sire or Lord or whatever you go by now, everybody these days has their own tablet. Just give me the new 10 Commandments and I will read them on my podcast so that they will be heard by a multitude of millions.”

And thus God decreed that I shall share the New 10 Commandments (or what God calls the “v.7.0”) with all of you — and the state of Louisiana.

Please listen and post.

— Mike


Share


The transcript for today’s episode is available here.


Click here to leave me a 60-second voice message (I might play it on a future podcast episode).


Music:

God Bless America” — Kate Smith


Episode Underwriters:

1) Shopify. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://www.shopify.com/rumble [all lowercase] and get full access to Shopify’s entire suite of features.

2) Babbel. Right now listeners of this podcast get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription at https://Babbel.com/rumble. Rules and restrictions may apply.


Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

** In order to have a troll-free, hate-free comments section — and because if there’s one thing I know about my crazy haters, they would rather spend an eternity in hell with Marjorie Taylor Greene than send me $5 if forced to become a paid subscriber — my Comments section here on my Substack is limited to paid subscribers. But, not to worry — anyone can send me their comments, opinions and thoughts by writing to me at mike@michaelmoore.com. I read every one of them, though obviously I can’t respond to all. The solution here is not optimal but it has worked and my Comments section has become a great meeting place for people wanting to discuss the ideas and issues I raise here. There is debate and disagreement, but it is refreshing to have it done with respect and civility, unfettered by the stench of bigotry and Q-anon insanity.

  continue reading

23集单集

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