120 Why being the best isn’t good enough

Reinventure Me

The race to the top of the heap will never do. We talk about why being the best isn’t good enough on this edition of Reinventure Me.

This week’s Inspire Me quote is from a Garmin ad:

“Beat Yesterday.“

In this episode, Leary and Armin propose that trying to be the best isn’t good enough—that it’s actually detrimental. That’s because the idea of “best”:

• Is subjective.
• Is relative.
• Builds resentment.
• Is not sustainable.

They suggest a better alternative: be better. And they offer tips on how to do exactly that.

Quotes from the show:

• “When we are looking to get recognized for our performance rather than living out of our mastery, we are living from a fixed mindset rather than a growth mindset.” —Leary
• “When we focus on other people’s grade—and that’s often subjective—we’re gonna lose motivation because really all we’re doing is seeking validation. And when we don’t get validation, what we’re trying to get at is diminished.” —Leary
• “Instead of winning the respect of other people, why not maintain your own self-respect and continue to relish the respect that you have with the family.” —Leary
• “You can’t really truly be respected for who you are unless you love yourself first.” —Armin
• “And you can’t even really love yourself without first understanding that God loves you.” —Leary
• “There’s only one Best who has lived forever.” —Leary
• “When you taste the possibility of being first and you’re not, you feel like you lost something that you rightfully should have had. And when you’re third, you don’t feel that way—[you’re just glad to be] on the platform!” —Leary
• “Forget best. Be better.” —Leary

This week’s Challenge Me:

Reflect on whether there are areas in your life you’re looking for a grade from someone else. Whose validation is important to you? Why?

Comments? Questions? Stories from your own life? Share them with us in the comments below.

Resources mentioned in or related to this podcast episode:

• Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D.’s book, Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals.
• Leary’s review of Succeed.
• Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset.
• Leary Gates’ review of Mindset.
• Episode 4, “How your mindset affects your next great beginning.”