241 - Two Hundred Forty One

Breaker Whiskey

Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit patreon.com/breakerwhiskey. As a patron, you will also receive each week's episodes as one longer episode every Monday.

------

[TRANSCRIPT]

[click, static]

Breaker breaker, this is Whiskey calling out for any goddamn clarification from Birdie.

We’ve been talking about it more, the whole “Junior is already dead over there” thing. And we can’t think of any other explanation than the one we first came up with—that he must have died over in the original timeline, the “correct” timeline, whatever you want to call it, and that…because he no longer exists there, removing him here would allow our timelines to merge.

But I need to know, is that…right? I mean, I know that that’s been the solution for a while—or at least we’ve been operating under the assumption that that was the solution—but does he really not exist in that other timeline anymore? Is there nowhere for him to go if we—if we did fix it? Through some other means?

(sighs) I don’t know. There are plenty of things in this world that can’t be fixed. Time can’t be turned back on itself—at least, I don’t think it can, but, god, after everything I’ve learned this past year, who knows what’s possible—

I can’t think about that. There’s only so many insane hypotheticals I’m willing to humor.

Harry wants so badly to fix it. Even knowing that it was me killing—that it was Billings’ dying that brought us here I think she…I think she heard me when I talked about where the blame stops. And I don’t mean just heard my broadcast, I think she really…heard me. I think she understands that I can hate myself for what I did and be furious with her for putting me in that position in the first place.

In all these years, she never—she never called me a murderer for what I did. She knew that sometimes the guilt would fill me up so much I’d start to drown and she…she never held me under.

I don’t know if she judged me for it—judges me for it. If it changed the way she saw me—she never gave any indication that it did but finding out that Pete messed up and killed—I mean, it changed her perspective on him enough to rat him out, destroy his life. Destroy all our lives.

Maybe it’s because it was an accident or self-defense but neither of those things ever made me feel any better about what I did, so… Maybe Harry sees killing Junior before he can kill us as some kind of self defense but I don’t think it is. I’m not sure I believe in preemptive strikes.

I just…I don’t know what to do. I could really use a little guidance here.

[click, static]

[beeps]

-.- . . .--. / --. --- .. -. --. / -. --- .-. - ....

Keep going north