I was a beautiful kid (A conversation with Efraín Gutiérrez)

The Bind with Greg Flynn

I truly enjoyed having this conversation with Efraín—someone I’d met so long ago and recently connected with. His journey into his own personal work around felt familiar, yet deeply different to me.

Efraín brings in a part of the discussion that can often remain at the edges: how has the gender binary itself shaped (and harmed) us?

A couple of the questions that we broach here: As men, what can we learn from our gender-non-conforming friends? How can we learn to expand our definitions of what’s possible for us by looking at the way those who live outside of the gender binary for inspiration?

There’s a lot more as well.

How does this land in you? What happens in your body when you hear this episode? Please let me know!

You can always reach me at [e-mail]. Also on Instagram: @men.connecting (DMs are open)

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Some links for things mentioned in this episode:

• Efraín Gutiérrez on LinkedIn - connect with and track Efraín here.
• Bayo Akomolafe - A remarkable teacher that both of us follow closely.
• bell hooks - If you haven’t read any of hooks' work before, you should. I especially recommend The Will to Change for listeners of this podcast.
• Sophie Strand - Writer, poet, and speaker, Sophie’s take on the myths of the masculine are remarkable.
• Octavia Butler - Black science fiction writer. Her work points us toward ways that we can work with our race and patriarchal material.
• Carol Gilligan - Feminist author and researcher. Her work has a huge impact on understanding the ways that conventional masculinity harms all of us.
• Alok - Trans, non-binary performer, educator, and activist. Alok has become a sort of spiritual teacher for both of us. I recommend their interview on the Man Enough Podcast
• Francis Weller - Writer and teacher who works with grief. His book The Wild Edge of Sorrow is a wonderful entry point for looking at grief as a practice.
• Martín Prechtel - Another teacher who works with grief. If you want to go a bit deeper, check out his book The Smell of Rain on Dust.

Credits: 🎶 by Alex Weinstein at Alex Weinstein Music