Ep #128 Why 'BEING' Trumps 'Doing' in Parenting (And Most Parents Get This Backwards)

Connect Method Parenting I Conscious Parenting, Positive Parenting, Gentle Parenting, Connective Parenting, Peaceful Parenting, Slow Parenting, Parenting Teens, Single Parenting, Joyful Parenting, Positive Discipline, ADHD Parenting

So there I was, wide awake at 5:15 AM in FREAKING NEW ZEALAND (yes, we're still traveling—more on that later!) with this message practically BURSTING out of me. My body was like, "Andee, get up RIGHT NOW and talk to your people!" So here I am, messy bun and all, coming in hot with some truth bombs about parenting that literally changed my entire life.

The Big Juicy Secret I Can't Keep Anymore:

Who you're BEING matters waaaaay more than what you're DOING as a parent.

Think about it—you could say "time to wake up" with the exact same words but completely different energy:

• Option A: Frazzled, irritated, rushing (we've ALL been there)
• Option B: Grounded, present, compassionate

Same words, totally different result! And guess what? Your kids have these amazing things called mirror neurons that pick up your emotional vibe INSTANTLY. They're like little emotional WiFi receivers! 📡

Real Talk Moment:

Remember when I was first shifting my parenting and thinking, "Why didn't that work? I said the words in a calm voice!" Meanwhile, I was RAGING inside but kept my tone even. Newsflash: the emotions behind our words don't lie, people!

The Ultimate Parenting Glow-Up:

I'm spilling all my favorite insights from this amazing book "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do" by Amy Morin:

1. They don't waste time feeling sorry for themselves (but they DO feel their feelings—big difference!)
2. They don't give their power away (your teenager's eye roll doesn't control your mood, I promise!)
3. They don't shy away from change (hello, adapting to each new stage of childhood!)

...and there's so much more goodness in the episode!

The Story That Still Makes Me Tear Up:

So picture little Andee, maybe 10 years old, in our giant brown 80s Suburban (oldest of SEVEN kids, remember?). I accidentally stepped right into one of the homemade pies my mom had made for the school fall festival. 🥧👟

I was MORTIFIED, waiting for the judgment hammer to fall. But my amazing mom just looked at me and said, "It's fine, it's totally fine," and drove on minus one pie. No big deal.

THAT, my friends, is someone whose BEING and DOING are perfectly aligned. (Thanks, Mom! 💕)

Your Homework (Because I Care):

Stop asking "What do I DO when my kid does XYZ?" and start asking "Who do I want to BE when my kid does XYZ?"

Game. Changer.

Your kids don't need perfect—they need YOU in all your beautiful, messy, authentic glory. (And honestly? That's way more interesting anyway!)

Sending buckets of love from New Zealand (only a week and a half left—we're soaking up every second!),

Andee 💫

P.S. If you feel like you're failing sometimes, welcome to the club! The people who succeed aren't the ones who never fail—they're the ones who refuse to let failure be the end of their story. Keep going!

P.P.S. I'm totally planning a whole episode on the journey of this trip and how it relates to parenting. Stay tuned! 🌏✈️

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