Together We Thrive: 3 Steps to Removing the World from Your Shoulders and Building Support as an Autism Mom

Thriving Moms of Autistics

Welcome back to another episode of the Thriving Moms of Autistics Podcast. I recall the excitement and nerves associated with my son starting school for the first time. The interviews with the principal, school tours, paperwork, and all that goes with it.

Then you bring the paperwork signed and ready as requested but something doesn’t feel right. You are left there waiting. The principal you are scheduled to meet with keeps walking by you avoiding eye-contact.

And when she finally sits down with you and your family and you pass her the paperwork, she passes it back to you and says, “There is no place here for your son.” Then she goes on and on about him being autistic making multiple assumptions.

I remember that feeling like it was yesterday. It felt like a gut punch. How can someone in 2021 so blatantly discriminate against my child? And right in front of him! It happens more than people think.

So, what do you go next? Who do you vent to? So many moms have no one. At that time, I did not have fellow moms who understood autism who have had similar experiences.

In this episode, we dive into finding your supportive tribe when it hits the fan and how to shift gears in the process to support your child.

Find the full transcript for this episode on your favorite podcast app.

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Who Do Moms of Autistics Turn To When They Are Overwhelmed?

So you might be wondering what happened next. Well, this happened right in front of my son. I am still stunned at how an educator could say that in front of him let alone handle it so poorly.

You might be imagining the ultimate smackdown or perhaps verbally dropping her down a few pegs where she belonged.

Nope. None of that.

My husband and I were just stunned. I paused as she was going on and on about autism. Then, I took the paperwork, stood up, and told my husband and son, “Let’s go.” I said, “Thank you for your time” and walked out the front door in front of my family.

I didn’t want my son to see my tears. I wiped them away, got in the car, and we went home. Naturally, the tears were flowing once I was alone. I tend to cry when I am really mad.

So why didn’t I knock her for a loop or put her in her place? Those are the go to emotional responses, right?

I wanted to model for my son that it is okay to walk away. It wasn’t going to change anything. Sometimes, it’s what is not said that is so powerful. She didn’t earn a minute more of my time. She knew she was wrong and inappropriate.

In this life, I have learned that you have to choose your battles. My son was my #1 priority. You know just what I am talking about. Moms are in this position often. It feels too much at times.

I could talk to my husband about this, but I needed a friend who either wanted to understand or had similar experiences. I needed someone to listen rather than us supporting one another. He was walking with me through this, which is very different. Some moms do this completely alone.

So, Why Do Moms of Autistics Isolate Themselves and What Is the Alternative?

Moms isolate because people don’t get it. And it is too hard to have to explain it time and time again. There are people who want to understand.

I am completely fine explaining it to them. But it is when others refuse to understand and constantly question your parenting or autism in general. This is exactly why moms isolate.

I look back on this and think how amazing