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Psychotherapist and Coach, Torie Wiksell, is no stranger to talking about challenging and dysfunctional family dynamics. In addition to specializing in working with the adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders as both a therapist and coach, Torie grew up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder. Torie has spent a significant portion of her 12 year career as a therapist working with clients with personality disorders, their partners, and ...
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Adult Children

Jon & Duane

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A podcast where a couple of childhood nerdy friends talk, rant, play games, share stories, and geek out about things that brought joy to us as children and adults in the world of entertainment.
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In the spring of 2019, after many attempts to sort through our differences, my adult daughter made the difficult choice to cut off communication. She tried to get her message across to me for a long time - years - without success. She repeatedly explained that she needed me to listen and know her better, accept her new and evolving boundaries, for me to recognize her as an emerging adult and for me to modify my communication style to be more respectful. She needed and expected change. I wasn ...
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"Bedtime Stories for Adult Children" offers a unique twist on the classic bedtime tale. Join us as we delve into the challenges and triumphs of adult life through the lens of imaginative storytelling. Our fictional characters navigate the complexities of the modern world, from the daunting task of finding employment to the bureaucratic nightmares of dealing with human resources. Discover the humor, heart, and unexpected lessons that can be found in even the most mundane aspects of adulthood.
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Growing Up With Insanity & Choosing Serenity As Your "New Normal" Reality Adult Children In Recovery is a podcast that serves to empower, inspire & provide practical solutions to anyone struggling as a result of complex and repeated early childhood stress, abuse & trauma. As a survivor of emotionally unhealthy, unsafe & wounded adult child parenting, I know how important it is to heal and recover with compassionate self-care practices from childhood trauma. I'm here to remind you none of the ...
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Learning to deal with adult children and forgiving yourself. Stop waiting for them to grow up and what’s the real truth! Stop blaming yourself, if they were brought up correctly, you are not to blame. You need healing also! Parenting is the hardest job you will ever have to accomplish. Let’s start healing together! Parents and Children! Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aj-realwoman/support
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If you've ever been told that you have to forgive in order to heal, I want you to know—that’s just not true. In this episode, I’m breaking down why forgiveness is overrated, especially when it comes to parents with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder (BPD/NPD). Instead of forcing yourself to forgive, what if you focused on acceptance in…
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Subscriber-only episode Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. Walking on Eggshells is a concept we use to describe the extreme hypersensitivity parents feel when their relationship with their adult child is faltering. It means being hyper-aware or fearful of saying or doing anything that might upset the estranged child, …
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Is overwhelming guilt getting in the way of setting boundaries with your borderline or narcissistic parent? You’re not alone. In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I dive deep into the emotional weight of guilt that so many adult children of parents with BPD or NPD experience. I’ll break down how guilt is often used to manipulate behavior, why it fe…
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In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I’m sharing the 10 crucial steps every adult child of a narcissistic or borderline parent needs to take as a part of their healing journey. Whether you're just starting to recognize the impact of your parent’s toxic behavior or you’re well into your healing journey, this episode will guide you through the founda…
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Being the adult child of a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder often means confronting the painful reality of being cast as the "villain" in their story. That s*cks, but learning to sit with this discomfort can help you take back control over your own life and finally prioritize your needs over their expectations. In this ep…
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In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we’re diving into five toxic traits that I developed from growing up in an emotionally chaotic home—and more importantly, how I'm working on them. If you’ve ever struggled with people-pleasing, overexplaining, or feeling responsible for everyone else’s emotions, this episode is for you. Here’s what we’ll cover: …
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Subscriber-only episode Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. Unlike the short episode with the same title, this episode examines differences and similarities in how moms and dads describe their experiences and strategies for navigating estrangement. I hesitate to categorize how we experience and navigate estrangement by…
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If you grew up with a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, the fear of being abandoned by people you love might run deep. In this episode of You're Not Crazy, we unpack how toxic love from a parent impacts your relationships and self-worth as an adult — and, more importantly, how to break free from those patterns. We discuss…
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Today I’m reflecting on how I’ve grown this year and what I’m focusing on for 2025. From taking bold action before I felt “ready” to ending a toxic friendship and trusting myself more, I’m sharing the real, unfiltered moments that have shaped my year. This episode is all about celebrating progress, embracing imperfections, and setting clear intenti…
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If you’re the adult child of a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, the holidays can feel more stressful than joyful. In this episode, I’m sharing practical, actionable strategies to help you navigate these tricky family dynamics while prioritizing your mental health. From setting boundaries to managing emotional triggers, w…
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Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. In this episode, we dig into some of the differences and similarities of how moms and dads tell us they experience and navigate estrangement. Yes, dads and moms often experience estrangement differently. And, in ways, similarly. Only... we know it isn't really that simple, right? I h…
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Greetings Adult Child, On this episode, I sat down with returning guest and therapist Phyllis Leavitt who is the author of America In Therapy where we talked about when unhealed childhood trauma can get the best of us and even create toxic relationships. We spoke about the potential danger when untreated wounds create a sense of entitlement and mis…
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Can personal experiences spark global change? In this episode, I share the story behind my newest venture, Confident Boundaries, and how my passion for helping adults with parents who have borderline and narcissistic personality disorders has evolved throughout this past year. Confident Boundaries goes beyond my therapy and coaching practices, offe…
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Growing up with a narcissistic mother can feel like navigating a maze of manipulation and emotional chaos. Ever wonder how the image of a "perfect mom" can clash so deeply with reality? In this episode, I share snippets from my own personal journey of growing up with the "perfect" narcissistic mother. We'll dive into how societal perceptions of mot…
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Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. 20 Reasons Walking on Egg Shells is a Gift - A Deep Dive Into Reasons 1-10 (Extended) Walking on Eggshells is a concept we use to describe the extreme hypersensitivity parents feel when their relationship with their adult child is faltering. It means being hyper-aware or fearful of s…
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In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, I’m diving into the challenges of navigating family dynamics during the holiday season—especially when you’re dealing with parents who have narcissistic or borderline personality traits. I’ll share actionable strategies for conserving your emotional energy and prioritizing your peace and happiness. Together, we’…
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Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. The "Let Them Go" movement grew out of the emerging phenomenon of parental and family estrangement. Originally the movement was based on positive acceptance, open minded awareness, and love. This movement emphasizes personal well-being and the right to distance oneself from harmful d…
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Today I'm going to try to convince you that embracing stress is the secret to your long term peace and happiness. Discover how the cycle of avoidance, driven by the fear of upsetting a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, might be keeping you stuck in a loop of burnout and resentment. By shifting your mindset and recognizing…
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Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. Walking on Eggshells is a concept we use to describe the extreme hypersensitivity parents feel when their relationship with their adult child is faltering. It means being hyper-aware or fearful of saying or doing anything that might upset the estranged child, often to avoid further d…
  continue reading
 
In today's episode, I discuss whether you should set boundaries or go no contact with a parent who has unmanaged borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. We'll explore the emotional exhaustion that often leads to the choice of going no contact and the societal pressures that can make you doubt this decision. Full disclosure- the audio on th…
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Emotionally vulnerability with a parent who has unmanaged borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder is always a bad idea. But, it's hard to not get sucked into those feel good moments- so what should you do? Listen to this episode of "You're Not Crazy" to hear my thoughts on the many complicated layers of being emotionall…
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Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. In this episode, I discuss six tips that will proactively ensure you give space to your adult child and avoid misrepresentation by others. This topic is a continuation of discussions about communication, how to maintain it, how to ensure direct access if and when either the parent or…
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Feeling stuck in a relationship with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder can be overwhelming. The fear of triggering them can leave you feeling paralyzed and like you have no options. But here’s the thing: doing nothing is making a choice—and it’s probably not the one that serves you best. In this episode, I share pract…
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Today I share about my own childhood growing up with a narcissistic parent. I talk about why it's been such a struggle for me to really accept my mother's narcissism and how becoming a parent myself has made me much less sympathetic to my mother's poor parenting journey. Also, thank you to all of our new Patreon members! I'm so excited to see the Y…
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Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. In this episode, we consider avoiding or getting out of the habit of catastrophizing. You might be saying, “Hasn’t the worst already happened?” I suggest that it hasn’t. Or, maybe it’s more accurate to say that anticipating a catastrophe does not help move you toward preparing to rep…
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Re-Writing Childhood Trauma Scripts Greetings Resilient Adult Child, Thank you for joining me for episode 24 where I sat down for a raw & real healing conversation with trauma informed business & leadership coach Denise G Lee. We talked about the lifelong impact of unhealed childhood wounds, spiritual injuries & emotional scars and how we can slowl…
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In this episode, we talk about self-compassion and why it is so hard to develop for adults who grew up with emotionally unpredictable parents. I dive deep into why an emotionally safe space is essential for developing self-compassion and ways you can practice being kinder to yourself starting today. Here's how else I can help: Download my FREE guid…
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In this whimsical collection of misadventures, Rufus the rhino and Zane the zebra escape from the zoo, hoping to make it in the human world by landing a job. From nightclub bouncers to fine dining waitstaff, cab drivers, and circus performers, the duo dives headfirst into each new role—only to leave chaos in their wake. Whether it’s ruining a fancy…
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CHILDHOOD BETRAYAL TRAUMA Welcome to episode #23 of my Adult Child In Recovery Podcast! On this show, I spoke with Ria Flanagan, a compassionate trauma coach & counselor. She’s an MA MFT, LISAC, CSAT, CMAT, owns and operates a private practice supervising associate counselors and provides coaching and consultation services. She is the author of the…
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In this episode of "You're Not Crazy," I answer the questions you sent in about dealing with parents who have borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Hear my thoughts, advice, personal experiences, and more in the first question and answer episode of the podcast! Here's how else I can help: Download my FREE guide, 5 Quick Tips for Managi…
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Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. In this episode, we crack the Busy Body Code. I share several easy strategies to manage a busy body by controlling your message. You can protect your privacy, ensuring that more energy can focus on maintaining emotional well-being. I share several responses you can use when approache…
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What happens when the very people meant to guide and nurture you leave you questioning your own emotions and self-worth? On this episode of You're Not Crazy, we tackle the complex aftermath of being raised by parents with borderline and/or narcissistic personality disorders, unraveling the mystery of how this impacts our adult lives. Listen for adv…
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Today, I'm talking about the frustrating reality of dealing with parents who continue to display toxic behaviors despite years of therapy. I share a personal story about my own mother who insisted her therapist told her she no longer needed therapy. Then, I discuss why some therapists are not be equipped to work with clients who have personality di…
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Boundary Setting For Adiult Children Thank you for tuning into another episode of Adult Children In Recovery! I had so much fun speaking with a fellow adult child traveler who spoke in depth about her own recovery process, how she was able to come out of denial and practice healthy boundary setting in her most significant and closest adult relation…
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Today I share my journey from being a skeptic of the coaching industry to launching my own coaching business, Confident Boundaries, earlier this year. You'll hear about my initial frustrations with the unregulated nature of coaching, especially during the COVID-19 boom, and how I came to recognize a pressing need for accessible support for adults w…
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This week, I tell you why I absolutely refuse to help you suppress your emotional reactions to your parent's toxic behaviors. Listen to hear me out and why I instead recommend focusing on setting boundaries with your parent who has borderline and/or narcissistic personality disorder. Also, I share why this episode is a little late! As always- thank…
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Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. So often, people who love and support us are also in contact with or know our distancing or estranged adult child. I'm frequently asked whether it is "a good idea" or "will it work" to have one of these people talk to the adult child on the parent's behalf. I also hear stories about …
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In this episode, I had the honor & pleasure to speak to a fellow inner child coach who shed so much light on how she was able to heal, recover from years of multi-generational religious trauma & deprogram her inner child from stressful fear-based thinking & learn how to regulate her emotional nervous system. Alicia Farricielli holds a Bachelor’s De…
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So sorry this episode was up a little late- thanks for bearing with me! Can you really accept a painful reality without liking it? In this episode of "You're Not Crazy" I share why radical acceptance, a crucial skill for adult children dealing with parents who have borderline and narcissistic personality disorders, can help you do just that. Unders…
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Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. Adult children involved in estrangement often use specific terms and phrases to articulate their feelings and experiences. Newly estranged parents must understand and adopt these terms in today's context to fully grasp what their adult child tells them. It is not unusual for parents …
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This week on You're Not Crazy, I chat about why I loathe the Tony Robbins of the world and why you need to be careful about being the target of charismatic people who want to exploit you. Growing up with parents affected by borderline or narcissistic personality disorders can distort our sense of self and intuition, making us prime targets for re-t…
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Hello Adult Children, Today I welcomed back one of my most requested guests Phyllis Leavitt to unpack the potential danger when our inner childhood wounds, abuse & trauma remain buried and unhealed and how the toxic after effects of being raised in an abusive and dysfunctional home may and often do negatively affect all of us on in our adult relati…
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Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. So often, people who love and support us are also in contact with or know our distancing or estranged adult child. I'm often asked whether it is "a good idea" or "will it work" to have one of these people talk to the adult child on the parent's behalf. I also hear stories about peopl…
  continue reading
 
Ever feel paralyzed by the thought of setting a boundary, let alone enforcing it? You’re not alone. Many of us didn't grow up witnessing healthy boundary-setting, and it can feel like an insurmountable task to learn it as an adult (but good news- it's not!). In this episode, I discuss practical steps and strategies to help you navigate the path tow…
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Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. Memory distortion is common in our human experience. It can be particularly relevant in crumbling relationships between parents and their adult children. Too often, what were once happy or benign memories morph - seemingly - suddenly into abusive and traumatic events. Parents are oft…
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Let's talk about common forms of parental manipulation and abuse. Today, we pull back the curtain on the dysfunctional tactics employed by parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Has your reality has been twisted through gaslighting? Were family rivalries created through triangulation? Today's episode reveals how guilt-tripp…
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Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send a text by Fan Mail. Memory distortion is common in our human experience. It can be particularly relevant in crumbling relationships between parents and their adult children. Too often, what were once happy or benign memories morph - seemingly - suddenly into abusive and traumatic events. Parents are oft…
  continue reading
 
Can trauma from growing up with a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder shape the way you see yourself? On this episode of "You're Not Crazy," I'm pulling back the curtain on my own experiences growing up as the child of a parent with unmanaged BPD. For years, I worried that I might have borderline personality disorder (BPD) m…
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Greetings Adult Child, On this episode, I met with the "un-doctor" Dr Fred Moss who shares that you may not have a mental illness and there may be absolutely nothing wrong with you. Dr. Fred Moss is a mental health advocate/psychiatrist serving in many capacities: keynote speaker, psychiatry expert witness, podcaster, mental health coach, and teach…
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Thinking about going no contact with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder? Be careful about how you execute that plan and what advice you follow—a recommendation by a popular therapist YouTuber of sending a letter is probably the worst idea I've ever heard. Join me, Torie Wiksell, as I unpack why this seemingly empowerin…
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