A Corporate Professional going through Breast Cancer

A Breast Cancer Diary

My new friend and fellow podcaster, Tina Conrad, is this week's guest and I couldn't wait to hear how she did it. She maintained a high pressure job as a manager in a fast paced fashion corporation right through breast cancer treatment and recovery. She is truly a warrior woman and I'm so thrilled to tell her story here.

Transcript:

Kathleen:

My guest today is Tina Conrad. She's a senior planner at Carhartt, as well as the host of DJ Breast Cancer, another podcast. And she lives in Leesburg, Florida. Her breast cancer was stage 3A. It was ER-PR positive and HER-2 negative. She had both ductal and lobular breast cancer. And like me, she has a mom who has been a breast cancer survivor as well and has gone through that as a long-term survivor, both of them have had at least 11 years—in Tina's case and her mom even more years since any kind of recurrence. And I just wanted to talk to Tina today about what it's been like because I was telling her, I don't know anyone in my life in the breast cancer community here on the West Coast who's been strongly entrenched in the corporate business world and who stayed there throughout their breast cancer story. And she is someone who managed to do that. So I'm kind of in awe of her. I found Tina through the Wildfire Breast Cancer Writing Community and she's a fellow writer there. And I've heard her story mostly through her podcast and she was sweet to offer me a little bit of advice and a mentoring session when I was thinking about doing my podcast. So we know each other a little bit!

Welcome Tina. And please tell us about your journey and how breast cancer entered your life in that corporate business world. What was your role at that time and how did it affect you? How did you exit and reenter? What was that all like for you?

Tina Conrad

Yes. Well, first, let me say hello, Kathleen. It's so good, so good to be here. I've taken a little pause or or a long pause. It's been a few years since I've done any recording, but it's just so great to be back and be a guest and no one else I'd rather be a guest with. So thank you. So, back to, gosh, back to 2013 when I was diagnosed, um I was a DMM, which is Divisional Merchandise Manager at a large retail outlet. um It was truly like my dream job, like we're where I aspired to be, you know, and I had a whole team of people and I was just recently married, um and like life felt really, really awesome, you know like where I just planned to be. and then you know I just stopped one day and kind of took um notice of my health because someone actually on my team had had a health scare, not not breast cancer related, but just had a health scare. And I was like, you know, like this breast of mine, like the nipples sunken in, something doesn't look right. And, you know, I kind of ignored it like for a few months. I was very much an advocate for breast health. I had gotten a mammogram when I was 30, when I was 33 because of my mom, I was very you know into all of that, but she had always had like a lump. And so this was like totally you know something different.

And so having this health scare with someone on my team, I was like, you know, I'm just going to go get this checked out. And, um you know, it was a mammogram and then, you know, they call you back and, you know, you can just kind of sense and read the room that like things aren't really normal. They they weren't like the other times I'd had a mammogram. And so, um you know, that led to um like an ultrasound and then a biopsy. And I woke up from the biopsy and basically the doctor said, get your mom's records.

That was the first thing I remember her saying to me. And so it was just very foreboding. So like I knew um things things weren't going well. So ultimately, yes, I received the diagnosis that you know I had breast cancer and it was pretty advanced on stage 3A lymph node activity. um fifteen I had 15 lymph nodes taken out. um So you know I did opt to get the double mastectomy just with my mom's history. um And then ultimately I did find out too, you know I had lobular which can often jump you know to the other breast too. So I felt very good in my decision you know that I had made um given my you know my family history and everything that had happened. um you know But I was i was busy. like I worked a lot of hours. you know I tried to plan my chemo around like the least intrusive time for work. I was still just very, very career focused. And everything changed. you know like Everything changed. um you know i I had never even taken you know more than maybe one week's time off you know in a row you know in my whole career. So you know with this cancer diagnosis, you know um with with surgery, I took several weeks off. Then with chemo, you know you you get yourself worse and worse. you know like The more you go on, it it's just harder. It's harder on your body to recover.

And there was one night, like I woke up and it came following, ah you know, my my oncologist was really great, really talked to me just like a human being. And he said, you know, who's your advocate at work? And I was like, well, you know, my my boss, you know, she she looks out for me. She does. He's like, no, no, no, no. I'm not talking about your boss. I'm not talking about that. He's like, who is your advocate? And I was like, well, I don't have one. He's like, well, then I seriously need you to consider taking a leave of absence. And I think he was just so black and white in that moment that I needed. And um you know so that was kind of my first taking a step back from work you know and in focusing on myself and you know putting my health first because I had always put my career first. So like that just was who I was. I've definitely changed just in my attitude and viewpoint to work. I still have remained within the corporate world, but I'm no longer like leading big teams, um and I'm happy. And I just have a different viewpoint, I think, on life and you know what is my priorities. And that's okay and it's not to say if ah someone listening there you know keeps going down a path of career, that's great too. But I feel that you know um you do have to put your health for it first. And you're doing it not only for you, but the people that you love. And that just became a different priority through this whole process.

So I was working with Sears Holdings, which was like Kmart Sears, obviously they're no longer no longer in business at the time of my diagnosis. And it was about two years that I had worked there that I just really had a calling that like my my work had to mean more to me. And Vera Bradley had a foundation on that specialized and in breast cancer. And so that was really important to me. in And you know we had so many great opportunities. I saw the foundation like where they do the research. It was so fascinating, you know just all the trials that they were doing. um so So I was really embedded you know not only within Vera Bradley, but you know i I did a lot of volunteer work with the foundation. So I worked there for nearly nine years. And then I just you know recently felt a need and a calling to do, you know again, something different. And so I've been in either merchandising or inventory about half of my career each. And um you know now I have a ah position that allows me to be remote. I've recently moved. um And I get a little bit more in the details of like the work and inventory.

I don't want to sound too much like a nerd, but like I love Excel. I love it. So it's just it kind of gives me a little bit more different purpose. and I'm just really enjoying it. So it's it's just been good for me in terms of like a work-life balance and where I see you know myself and you know just trying to help out too. I have an aging mother-in-law and trying to help you know her more too. So hopefully this puts me in a position where like i can I can do more you know and be more with my family.

Kathleen Moss

At the time of your double mastectomy, how was it going back into the workplace with a new body or a changed body? How was your experience of that change in that corporate setting?

Tina Conrad

Yeah, I think it was less about, you know, like the breast side of it, it was more the hair, you know, like the hair is a big deal. So coming back, I took my leave, you know, after I'd had my mastectomy, I had been through um like 12 rounds of chemo and so my hair was just starting to come back and it was just like that peach fuzz you know real tiny you know hair and I remember going to a store to to work on some kind of project that we were doing and a customer came up to me and she was like I really love your hair and it was just like such a sweet moment that like you never know what a compliment can mean to you. But that in that moment, I know what a compliment meant to me. you know and And I could have gone into, like oh, I just had cancer, all this, all that. you know Oh, really, it looks crazy. you know But I was just like, I stopped. And I looked to her. And I was like, thank you so much. you know like And it just was really, I didn't have to be a cancer patient in that moment. you know I was just me with short, short you know growing here and it was you know just a beautiful thing. um but But it was, in general, it was a hard transition. you know like It's kind of like ah you know like your badge of honor. like you're You're so vulnerable coming back. um I've written about it within Wildfire too, because I definitely had um a boss when I came back to work at Sears. We had just come from some meeting and I'd only been back a few weeks and you know it was just her and I walking and she was like, um you know now that you're back on the saddle, I really need you to step it up. And it was some of the hardest, harshest words I've ever heard you know in my entire life, because I thought I was so prepared. you know And I really come back and done everything I could do you know to to retrain my brain, to like study these notes, you know, to be a student again and like, you know, cause you're, you're out for, I was out for three months, you know, with a leave. So it, you know, it's, it's difficult to get quote unquote back in the saddle again. It's, it's no easy feat. Um, so you know I just realized in that moment, I can't work for someone that can't acknowledge, you know, she had been kind to me like on other occasions, but like now that I'm coming back, you can't be kind.

So it just put things in much more black and white than like I had kind of experienced before in my life. so So I went to go work for someone who had had had like a history of cancer in their own family and could acknowledge you know me as a worker, but also me as a human being. And like, that was very important to me. um And I think it's, you know, no matter what people are going through um in their lives, you know, it it doesn't just have to be cancer. It can be any kind of health or mental or any kind of, you know, issue.

I think it's just important to you know to to be empathetic and to understand. you know You might not know all of the details, but I think we have to be kind and like allow people the space you know that they need to heal and to be understanding when people need time away from work. um you know that's just That definitely changed within me, you know within that experience, to then share it with other people and to always you know, give people more the benefit of the doubt, you know, because work will always be there, you know, but um the the relationships and the kindness and the way you make people feel, um it's just very important. um and and And something that will always, you know, go beyond you, you know, even your time on this earth is like how how you make people feel.

Kathleen Moss

You mentioned needing an advocate ah when you were first diagnosed and it sounds like you did find that in your second job after diagnosis. What did that look like? where Where did that advocacy come from and how was that powerful in your life?

Tina Conrad

Yeah, I love I love sharing and like helping other women you know through through difficult situations. um I saw that within my mom. She's not so much on the global scale, but you know she would take a woman aside and say, like oh, you're not sure what a double mastectomy looks like. I'll show you. you know And she'd take them to the bathroom and show. you know And she was just very kind you know to people who needed maybe you know just a kind word or or a moment. And so I think giving back was always very important to me. um And I feel like, you know, there's so many things we can do boots on the ground to help women, but also research is so important. So first and foremost, I always wanna know, you know like we're just coming off of October when we're recording this, but where's the money going to that helps women? Not just only for the short term. um Women do need help, like obviously to within a diagnosis, but what can we do to help the next generation not experience what we did, whether it be through vaccines, whether it be through new trials, metastatic breast cancer, there's clearly so many things that we need to help others with. And so that's very important to me. And so it's, it was not enough for me to just, you know, walk away from the community, I felt like I needed a way to give back. And so, um you know, whether it was speaking at various events, whether it was starting up a podcast, um it was just, you know, very important for me to, to help other women and then to, you know, to support them through whatever they're going through.

Kathleen Moss

Well, thank you for doing that. It definitely impacted me in a good way.

Tina Conrad

Oh, good. Thank you.

Kathleen Moss

How was your mom's openness about her mastectomy and the way her body looked after mastectomy? How did that inform your experience going into mastectomy?

Tina Conrad

I think it was very important. You know, she was very transparent with me. You know, clearly she believed because she she she was told by a doctor, you know, oh, just get the lumpectomy. You're young, you know, this will all be fine. um And then they came back, you know, almost in the same location three years later. So For us, it was very important you know that she shared that experience. She wanted the best for me. She wanted to do the most. you know That would give me the most longevity of life. and so you know she was very much an advocate for me to do as much as possible, obviously, too to be um as vigilant you know to to that. And the way that I think my dad loved her through it is I also feel like the way my husband loved me through it, you know which is to make a woman just feel beautiful in the body that they're in.

And so i I feel very blessed you know to have a husband that loves me and told me every day of like every day of my cancer, whether I had no hair, whether you know um I was in the bathroom, whether I had you know this crazy bra on, you know like I just felt loved through it. And I feel like it's it's very important um you know to surround yourself with that kind of love you know of Whatever kind of support that looks like for you, but find people who will love you through it um Because you are beautiful each and every day of of your journey And so I think it's just important that you've you know, feel that and find people that tell you that as well She did yes, yes she did um, and I mean she looks great like she's she's doing great

Kathleen Moss

Did your mom have reconstruction of any sort?

Tina Conrad

Yeah, I just went to a softball game of hers today. She's 69 years old and she's out there you know playing women's softball, which is pretty amazing. you know So um you know just to see her and like you know living her best life you know and um it's great. So I think that she's you know so she's such an inspiration to me each and every day of wanting, continuing to take care, be active, um but also you know like help other women and you know um love them through it.

Kathleen Moss

So was her her experience having reconstruction probably informed your level of confidence going forward into reconstruction too?

Tina Conrad

Yes, yes, definitely. You know, things have even changed from the time that she had been diagnosed and then I was about 10 years later till when I was diagnosed. And then, you know, I talked to people now going through various things and things continue to advance, you know, each and every time. so you know, I think that is part of where the science is moving forward, you know, and and we need to keep doing what we can to keep that moving forward. But um, I'm, you know, it definitely gave me confidence that like, you know, hey, I can still feel like a woman, I can still walk into a room, I can still do all of this, you know, and, and feel my, myself, you know, and so, you know, that was a great example for me through all of it.

Kathleen Moss

Yeah, it seems like i I feel like if I put myself in your shoes or my niece who also works in a kind of corporate America retail job, I definitely would value my breasts more.

I think I would have given deep flap or implants a little bit more thought probably. So did you get implants?

Tina Conrad

I did. Yes. Yes.

Kathleen Moss

And you're 11 years out.

Tina Conrad

Yeah.

Kathleen Moss

So have you thought about getting your implants replaced or have you gotten them replaced?

Tina Conrad

I have not. It is on my radar to talk about actually I have like all new doctors because I'm in Florida. So I think that will but probably be like a consideration. My mom still has like her original ones too. So, but yeah, just like, um, I want to be transparent, like have those, I want to ask more questions. You know, like, I think, um, that's what's maybe great about our generation and below is like, we ask the questions, you know, we, we probe a little bit more. Um, maybe we're a little skeptical, but that's fine. You know, like that just means you're taking your own health into your hands. And I think that that's important.

So yeah, I want to do what's like best for me. I i don't know. I don't, I don't feel like I have to have implants like all of my life. I would be fine like with another route too. Um, so I just want to do what obviously gives me the healthiest outlook, um, on life in general.

Kathleen Moss

Mm hmm. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I've met a few people locally who are in that spot where they're like 10 years out and they have been told in the past that their implants, you know, would last 10 years and they're just in that quandary of like, I don't know, should I get them replaced? And do I want to go through all that again? And it's an interesting little crossroads to reach, you know, especially as you're aging, this person in particular that I'm thinking of is quite a bit older than me. And she's like, I don't have use for them anymore. So maybe it's not worth the trouble. So interesting to think about all of those choices that we continue to have in this and this story.

Tina Conrad

Yeah, yeah It never, never, it kind of goes away, but it never goes away. you know oh So yeah, yeah. You never know.

Kathleen Moss

Yeah. I wanted to ask you about your spiritual life. Your podcast site has a really clear kind of progression into more and more talk of spirituality and especially within the Christian tradition. And I know that your spirituality, your beliefs and your faith have really informed the way that you look at your breast cancer experience. And so I wanted to ask you about um a scripture passage that you feel is central to your story and has given meaning to your breast cancer experience.

Tina Conrad

Well, actually, like just to set it up a little bit, I had had like a kind of a pain in like my arm, and so I had gone in to get some scans done. And then I was awaiting the results, because everything seems to take forever. And I had met my cousins, we had come from a very Catholic, um you know very religious upbringing. So to kind of meet them and spend time with them was was kind of very fitting.

And there was just a beautiful church in this town of, we were in like ah Covington, Kentucky. It was very near um Cincinnati. But anyway, um my one cousin and I decided to go to Mass and like, you know, go in and to this just beautiful, gorgeous church. And so we sit down and, you know, I did want, you know, time to kind of reflect and pray because of, you know, everything that was going on in my life. And I heard this verse, like this was like literally the the only like one of the Bible things that they read, but they talked about um the woman who touches the cloak of Jesus. And in it says, “but Jesus said, someone has touched me, for I perceive that the power has gone from me. And when the woman saw that she was not hidden, she came trembling and falling down before him, declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him and how she had been immediately healed. And he said to her, daughter, your faith has made you well, go in peace.” And this was like the passage that they read and my cousin just you know turned to me and she said, well, if that's not a sign, I don't know what it is. And so we kind of had a moment you know just in church too. And so it was just it was very special and obviously the results came back and you know and they were good, but I have felt throughout my entire journey, you know, God's hand in all of it. And, you know, even like leading up to my diagnosis, I saw the most beautiful rainbow I'd ever, ever, ever witnessed. And it was just this immediate sense of peace came over me. And it was feeling like um it it didn't even matter what it was right or wrong, or good or bad, or, you know, positive, negative, all that thing, but like, God was in control, and it was okay. And it was just this piece that like, I can't I can't really describe other than like I just felt, and you know, this overwhelming sense of peace. And so that was kind of like the start of my journey. And then obviously I did get, you know, the news that I had breast cancer, but I always felt that God's put me on this path um to help other women to, you know, to be a light you know for others and to share like his love. um you know and And for me, it felt um not like a punishment. And there were times where I was like, are you punishing me? like I did ask the questions. I did you know wonder aloud. But I felt going through it, I felt more like an invitation.

Because I hadn't been as close you know to God, you know up it to that point I've been very career focused, you know, very very um Focused on things that like to me mattered at the time and and I think it kind of turned my whole world upside down with cancer But it was also a shot shine a light on many beautiful aspects and in faith was definitely one of them and so just to hear this passage and you know, in in this church, in this beautiful setting, it just kind of made it all feel like a painful circle. And, um you know, so so that's just been very important to me as my faith and sharing that, you know, with others and if you're not sure what to do, just, you know, pray or just ask God for, you know, for help, you know, and it's okay. It's just really a conversation with God is, is what I consider prayer. And so, you know, I, I do like, I have a Holy Bible app, like on my phone, I try to do various plans. Um, there's great things like when I was moving and I was really stressed, you know, I searched plans um you know that helped me with that. There's been times where I've had like difficult you know relationships. I've searched things for that. And it's just really helped point me to you know various scriptures that have helped me through through parts of my life. So I just encourage people you know to to have conversations with God and and it's okay. you know and And I do believe that God listens, and if you're open to it, um he's He sends signs. you know For me, they they definitely seem to come in forms of rainbows, um but you know I definitely see and hear of different things you know from Him, just it just it's a beautiful thing.

Kathleen Moss

Yeah, I can relate to the massive gifts of peace that descend on us in the most unlikely times and without even asking for it, without even knowing that it's possible, of course, because we're so out of touch with the spiritual realm, usually, at least I am.

Tina Conrad

yes

Kathleen Moss

And so, yeah, I love that. I love thinking about the spiritual world as a place of gifts instead of a place of guilt or shame, which is so often the case for us. I think we learn when we're younger you know about, well, I did. I have to speak for myself. like yeah There's a lot of fear. There's a lot of um judgment in the church. and And so I have a lot of injuries around that. And i I think that it's common to feel extra vulnerable as a breast cancer survivor and as a woman um in the midst of the common beliefs about “the gospel of health and wealth.” That if you do right, then God rewards you with good health and with lots of money. It's really common, I think, here in America. I feel like it pushes people's buttons to talk about God around health.

Tina Conrad

Mm hmm.

Kathleen Moss

But at the same time, there's there's so much of spirituality that can give us so much trust and an ability to live with the uncertainty that we have to make peace with some way or another. There's so much stress involved um when you're living in the breast cancer community, when you're not turning your back on it, but actually continuing to be there socially in it.

Tina Conrad

Yeah.

Tina Conrad

There's what I would consider people who are just so devout, you know get a recurrence to get metastatic breast cancer and it just doesn't seem fair. you know But I don't think we can think about things maybe it's not like this, in this case, this black and white, where I feel like God loves you through all of it. you know And so um it's just the peace that he provides you know through it. And so like that's that was kind of hard. um I had a ah ah friend you know that um had lost a son who was four years old, and I was really in that, in those days, like struggling with my faith, like, why God would you do this, you know, to this, you know, young child into this family. And it was, it really hurt me. And, um you know, it's just out walking and just kind of asking these questions, you know, like to God, you know, on my walk. And it's hard to like, it was just crazy. But this frog just came out of nowhere and started jumping and like, just being ridiculous, almost to the point where it made me smile and laugh. And I talked to my brother who was like really close friends with this family. He's like, that son loved frogs. like He just loved frogs. And so like to just put a little bit of levity on like a really tough situation, I feel like it's only something, like I can't explain that. like It has to be you know like something greater than greater than this world. And I've just had so many breast cancer sisters you know that I've lost. And it always seems like it's like three days later, I'll see a feather or something that's really reminiscent of like what they meant to me. and And so it's also given me peace you know that that they are someplace where there's you know a message or there's a sign or there's a bit of love or something you know that will help me through a hard time. And so that, I guess, is what my faith means to me, is just the sense of peace, you know even even in really difficult times. um And again, I don't know that it always has to be like four walls of a church, but it's just this relationship and invitation that God, you know I felt cancer provided to me that has helped me through so many experiences, not just cancer, but you know through throughout um the past 11 years, it's been it's just been a relationship with God.

Kathleen Moss

Yeah. Yeah. I'm happy to hear you tell that story. It makes me happy. I know it's it's tricky stuff and every single one of us has a different story to tell with regard to our faith. And you know, some people just get really triggered and really angry about it. But um I'm happy to be able to provide a platform for all of those different stories to be told and mostly just to hold it in mystery because as I get older, I realize how little I know and how little I can know. And it's nice to believe that someday we will understand much more than we do and now.

Tina Conrad

Yeah, yeah I agree. And I think we'll go you know we're all broken here on this earth, I feel. And I feel like there's a place where there's just true love. you know And you know I have not had kids, but I can only imagine like how a parent loves a child. like I do feel like that's how God loves me, you know is unconditionally, no matter my faults, no matter what I do, that I feel like his love you know is is always there. And so I think to go, in my mind as a Christian, I feel like to go to a place where there is just pure love, like that gives me hope, you know, each and every day.

Kathleen Moss

Yeah, definitely. There is a spiritual aspect to the community of sisterhood that we're a part of that I still haven't been able to put words to, but it is really powerful. it is the idea of solidarity of any sort, um coming through a struggle of any sort together with a common understanding side by side, shoulder to shoulder. There's nothing else like it that I've ever experienced and it is truly spiritual. um Is that part of your story and in terms of like how you created your your podcast. I feel like that's why I created my podcast is to transmit some of that out into the airways.

Tina Conrad

Yes, like the sisterhood. Like, it's amazing. um I've met such amazing friends, I've vacationed even with, you know, people who are breast cancer survivors. So, like, it runs deep, like, it's, it's really amazing. um Even when I started my podcast, um I met a great friend, Jen, who lives in New York, we've met, we've become, you know, not, not only like Instagram friends, but like in real life friends. So, I think it's the sisterhood is just it's just amazing. like it's like nothing you've ever experienced. And to have that podcast that I had, you know um to have others share their story and to watch their load just lighten, because for many people is the first time they were sharing their story like on on a public stage you know and so to see that lightning was such a gift you know for me to help, you know, um provide something where they could, they could share and they could talk about it and and they could feel lighter and freer. And then you know to to build this library of of women and then

you know, I know other women's that like are just going through it now and to to be able to say like, hey, I'm here whenever you need to talk. But there's also this like library of of women sharing their stories, you know, in in various episodes that you can listen to it whenever is convenient for you, you know. um and And I do have a lot of people that will go through, you know, each and every episode and or or ones that sound interesting to them or are facing something that they're facing, which is what you're doing, too, is building this like amazing library of voices and stories and you know hope. and And we can all connect with them in in some way or way or manner. And so I think that that's what's such a gift is to share that light and that love you know with others and and to see that support like in action is really important.

Kathleen Moss

Yeah, definitely. I want to talk a little bit about your podcast so people know where to find it. It's called DJ Breast Cancer and you have a hundred episodes now. So a lot, a big library that folks can just binge right through. And like you said, it is mostly women telling the particular part of their story that centers around their diagnosis and how they dealt with that in the aftermath and It's a powerful, powerful podcast and it's it's such a great contribution to the breast cancer community. Thank you for that.

Tina Conrad

Thank you. Yes, the first season was my story. And then I started to share other stories. um And for a time, I was very scared to share metastatic breast cancer survivors. I just felt like it wasn't my voice to be shared. um But I really had met an amazing podcaster, Emily Garnett, who just touched me in my heart in so many ways. um And I just felt like you know she she died in March of 2020, so right as COVID was like starting. She didn't die you know related to COVID. She died you know due to breast cancer. But I just wanted to share their voices. And she she was just very much an advocate of how How can we build a bridge between early you know stages and late stages if we don't talk? you know And so I just wanted to do something to honor her. And so you know I did devote a whole season to metastatic breast cancer. and you know And it's very disheartening, because many of those guests are no longer with us. you know And that was you know just you know several years ago. And it's I think that's what keeps me up at night and makes me want to do more, makes me want to drive research, um because we need more time. We need more options. We need more choices. We need more trials. like All of that is so very important to me. You know, so that we we can honor those women and do more for them. Like, it's not enough. like And so we have to keep pushing the science forward.

Kathleen Moss

Yeah. Is Emily's podcast still available to listen to?

Tina Conrad

I haven't tried lately. I felt like many things kind of had started coming down, but it was called the intersection of cancer in life. Um, and she's just an amazing woman.

Kathleen Moss

As we wrap up, I just want to ask you what I often ask my guests if we have time at the end of each interview, which is what would you tell a newly diagnosed patient that you wish someone had told you?

Tina Conrad

Actually this is something that someone did tell me and it was very helpful, um which is kind of create like a central communication hub. Like it's very exhausting to try to keep up like, Oh, did I text that person? Did I text this one? Did I email, you know, all of this. So my aunt had told me like start a blog, like, or a Caring Bridge kind of site, like they have a free, great site, but it's just a place where everyone can have a way to access your information and it doesn't exhaust you. like Cancer is exhausting enough versus like worrying if everyone's like keeping up. like You have a place, they can go to it, they can find your daily or however ah much you wanna update. um And I think through that, like writing became so important to me um And I encourage everyone to write. There's so many feelings you're going to go through, and I think it's just important to write them out. It doesn't mean you have to share it. like I know we're both very much advocates of wildfire contributing and I encourage you to contribute and to you know do all of that. But if if you're scared or you just you're angry and you want to burn it, like go ahead and burn it. I don't really care. I just think that there's something so powerful about releasing a lot of that feelings and emotions. So there's kind of a practical sense of like sharing your, you know, updates with everyone so it's not exhausting you. But then there's just this beautiful part that comes with it, which is writing. And, you know, for me, it was poetry and rediscovering this love of poetry. I used to write poems when I was like in high school. um and And I just kind of rediscovered it. And and it just, you know, ah it it's just a great way to get in touch with your feelings. And for me, um it's almost then like I'm, I have more control over my feelings because I don't let them have control over me. And so it's this relationship of kind of give and take. And I'm like, okay, I'll sit with you for a day or two. Cause this is really bothering me. It's triggering me in some way, but I'm going to write it down and like, what, what is it? Like, what is really bothering me about this? And so, I try to definitely write it out. I keep a lot of journals, a lot of notes on my phone. um You know, you can just write it on a scrap piece of paper. You know, it doesn't matter, but I think that um writing is just so therapeutic. It's just very, very helpful and I encourage anyone. Again, you don't have to publish something or be this grandiose thing, but it's just very, very powerful to to have it and to even reflect back on things that you wrote from years past. you know So I'm 11 years out and to see things that how raw it was you know when I was going through it, um it's good sometimes to like kind of check back in with yourself and see how far you've come and that and that's great too.

Kathleen Moss

Yeah, the reason this podcast is called a breast cancer diary is that I started a diary video vlogging diary on Instagram and called it that and That was the most healing part of of my whole process. I needed a lot of healing. I was really angry. I didn't like the way that my surgeries turned out and the way that I was being guided by my oncologist initially. So I'm a huge advocate for writing writing things out or sharing, speaking things out. And just recently, I got a brand new appreciation for CaringBridge, which I hadn't really experienced very much but I had a friend with metastatic cancer. um She was in the breast cancer community because she was a pre-vivor when I met her and um had had prophylactic mastectomy but she ended up succumbing to a different type of cancer just this year in October. And she had been writing really regularly on Caring Bridge. And I was supposed to meet up with her in October just a few days after she died. And I had lost touch with her. And I assumed that she probably had passed and was just really longing to connect with her and hear about that that last period. And I could go back and read her entries on Caring Bridge and feel like I was connecting with her and her family through that. So that was a huge gift from her to me as her friend, just to have that closure.

Tina Conrad

Yeah.

Kathleen Moss

So I really, I'm a huge fan of that that technology now. And it yeah, it's wonderful that it is free.

Tina Conrad

Yeah, it's, ah it's beautiful. It's a great gift to your point. that just helps so many. you know like it It helps people through it and process their feelings too. I think people can comment. you know So it's it's a great way for everyone to stay connected in this day and age.

Kathleen Moss

And I'm glad you mentioned your poetry because I know you're contributing a book of poetry to my raffle giveaway that's going on now for the opening of season two. I'm offering for folks that are willing to send me a screenshot of your rating and review of this podcast, um enters your name in the raffle to win some wildfire magazine issues or Tina's poetry, and then some some wearable art as well.

Kathleen Moss

ah So be sure and and rate and review and send me your your screenshot at my email address at [email protected] If you'd like to read some of Tina's poetry, I look forward to sending that out.

Tina Conrad

Thank you.

Kathleen Moss

Yeah, thank you for contributing! All right, well I will hope to talk to you again soon Tina and I hope that you're settling into your new home and really nicely and able to hibernate there this winter, even though you're in Florida.

Tina Conrad

It's such a, it's a different it's a different life, but it's good. It's it's really good. so So yeah, looking forward to um no snow and to, you know, more sunshine.

Kathleen Moss

Good for you. You deserve it.

Tina Conrad

Thank you.

Kathleen Moss

Talk to you later.

Tina Conrad

Thank you.