Artwork

内容由Lorilee Binstock提供。所有播客内容(包括剧集、图形和播客描述)均由 Lorilee Binstock 或其播客平台合作伙伴直接上传和提供。如果您认为有人在未经您许可的情况下使用您的受版权保护的作品,您可以按照此处概述的流程进行操作https://zh.player.fm/legal
Player FM -播客应用
使用Player FM应用程序离线!

The Unspoken Root Cause

49:05
 
分享
 

Manage episode 361112906 series 2836435
内容由Lorilee Binstock提供。所有播客内容(包括剧集、图形和播客描述)均由 Lorilee Binstock 或其播客平台合作伙伴直接上传和提供。如果您认为有人在未经您许可的情况下使用您的受版权保护的作品,您可以按照此处概述的流程进行操作https://zh.player.fm/legal

This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, April 19th, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat.

Today's guest is Mandy Harvey, a global leader in trauma healing.

Lorilee Binstock 00:00:34

Welcome. I'm Loriee Binstock

And this is a trauma survivor, thriver's podcast.

Hello, everyone. My apologies

Thank you, for so much for joining me today live on FireSide chat where you can be a part of the conversation as my virtual on and time your home loyalty been stuck. Everyone has an opportunity to ask me or our guest

question if By requesting to hop on stage, you're sending a message in the chat box, I will try to get to you but I do I ask everyone be respectful. Today's guest is Mandy

rv she is a global leader in trauma healing.

Maybe, thank you so much for joining me today.

Mandy Harvey 00:03:20

You're welcome. Thank you for having me.

Lorilee Binstock 00:03:23

Well, I do want to talk

to... You know where I wanna talk to you about chronic illness

and trauma in that connection. We've had folks

talk a little bit about that. But you also have a

program and a protocol to actually solve it all. So

for for people who haven't heard anyway previous

podcast. Could you imagine

talk about the connection between chronic illness and trauma.

Mandy Harvey 00:03:51

Yeah. Absolutely. Well,

what's very interesting about chronic health issues

as we become adults once we start to develop them,

it's not in uncommon. I think we all know someone or more than one person who might

suffer with some type of chronic health issue or autoimmune condition.

It is a very common

experience. But there is a correlation between

developing that later in life and what we experience

in our early childhood. And

What's really interesting to mean

is that our protocols currently

to

care for our chronic health issues to care for our our autoimmune condition

are often focused on our diet, which is an important element. It's

focus on our lifestyle, which is also important and perhaps some medication

But the people that I work with off

and don't resolve their health issues or don't

feel a sense of relief with those three pillars.

And in my own hinge

of being a functional nutritional therapy practitioner.

And someone who is also experiencing practice

I started to really dive into the

under eigenvalues of why would I like get... Why would someone struggle

to improve their health when they're eating the right things.

When they are

moving their bodies in the right way, and they're feeling some relief, but they're really

not able to get over the edge of feeling

like they're able to thrive in their life. And as I started to, I need cover

and discover kind of the correlation between our early childhood experiences

in our house leader in life, that really showed to

help me see this many piece that we often don't.

We don't include in our protocols we're not told about it, and That was also the key

for myself

and it comes down to

what I like to talk about in terms of emotions in our

immune system. So emotions in general, they have one fundamental

function. And that really our emotions that you think about them is

to allow what is healthy, what is nourishing and what a supportive

for us, allowing my into our life and

Our emotions can also help us keep out what is

toxic and dangerous. They can become this filter for us. They can be

this

kind of this roadmap map if you will to help and and know which what

helpful for us and what isn't helpful. But

that is also the role of our immune system. Our immune system does exactly the

thing It's to keep out what's toxic and to let in what's nourishing

lighting in the nutrients of vitamins, the healthy bacteria,

and to keep out and destroy

what isn't healthy and a port of?

So the emotional in the immune system are exactly the same function.

So when we experience something traumatic in childhood, or even if we

well, meaning, parents, but they unfortunately just

didn't meet our needs as a child, And we learn that

we need to refresh our emotions or we learn to

hold shame about who we are and how we're

how

how we're feeling or we are taught that we are

you know, we believe are bad or wrong because of experiences we've had in childhood.

We start to refresh ourselves physically, and that can have an impact

on our immune system. So the more that we learn to

sorry emotions and the more that we impress ourselves just in general,

the more impact it has in our immune.

So when we going a little bit deeper in the

childhood when we have a traumatic experience in childhood or we have ongoing

traumatic experiences like abuse or an neglect or

emotionally unavailable.

Caretaker or anything in the realm of that.

We

our bodies go through a process to activate our

stress hormone. So say we experience them.

Fall our body goes to the process of activating our adrenals and activating our

hormones months

that process is meant to help us ready our body to

site a threat to run away from the threat or and

you know, get ourselves to safety but as the child

oftentimes, if we're experiencing abuse on a regular basis, we

or any of these instructions circumstances would... I just shared. We're not able to

Lorilee Binstock 00:08:48

Mhmm.

Mandy Harvey 00:08:47

run away or fight our

abuse in most cases. And so

the body cannot turn off those functions once it has started.

And what happens is one that trauma

as a child gets stuck in our body and in our psyche, but to that

stress of that trauma. And the

activation of our stress hormones.

To ready our body to fight or flee that process

start to impact our biology, and it

essentially, makes us more susceptible to getting stressed.

Faster. So if you think about we experience something like that in childhood, and as we

become an adult. We may... If we have not,

healed those experiences and we're we've learned to

of physically that stress response becomes faster and found

Lorilee Binstock 00:09:41

Mm-mm

Mandy Harvey 00:09:42

share and faster. We experience stress an adult

And eventually, our bodies just get out. We can only handle so much.

Before our bodies burn out, and then we start to develop

these chronic health issues because of the impact, that that's stressed.

Had had on our immune system and the

be rep refreshing of those emotions and the energy of those emotions in our body starts to

deteriorate our health, and then we start to develop these health issues.

Lorilee Binstock 00:10:09

Wow, you know, I

manic experiencing was

so vital in my healing and understanding

trauma when I was first

seeking help in twenty twenty and residential treatment

Mandy Harvey 00:10:30

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:10:29

experiencing was a big part of it.

And so I'm able to kind of

understand that I obviously have my moments where I've

I I can't really think logically and rash

about what's actually happening in my brain, But

you know, I I think you know this. I I actually tour my Acl recently.

And I just got surgery a couple weeks ago.

And my husband has got as in a way

Mandy Harvey 00:10:56

Oh,

Lorilee Binstock 00:10:56

So I I feel like my stress level is

so heightened, and I feel like I have been so just

Mandy Harvey 00:11:02

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:11:05

so completely reactive with my children, and I realized

when I was... I just like, downstairs stairs, and we live in

you know... It's like three stories and Capitol Hill very narrow and

tall.

And my children I heard them on the third floor, screaming.

And, like, immediately, I just felt like everything just

ten up because, typically, if they're screaming, I'm like, okay.

Mandy Harvey 00:11:31

Yes.

Lorilee Binstock 00:11:30

I'll be there. But now, but I'm like, oh my gosh. It's gonna take me forever to get

the stairs right now. Like, I don't know what's gonna happen.

And I started getting stressed out and angry and upset. And I... You know, I just

imagine a wounded animal in the forest and just like

Mandy Harvey 00:11:43

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:11:45

being wounded and, like, just the sound of wrestling will like,

really heighten their awareness of what's what's happening.

Am I am I going to die right now? Because that's that's the feeling I was getting.

But, yes, no. I I just

but that just an understanding of

from so experiencing has been so vital.

For me,

and I wanna get into how you're working that into the programs that

you're providing for people, but I do wanted to I do wanna ask, like,

if you are comfortable in telling your personal story because I know for

for me, most of the... The my my

podcast in the trauma survivor driver's podcast. And

the majority of people, if not all of the people who come on really

their they're

gift of helping people from healing their own their own toe

Mandy Harvey 00:12:38

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:12:38

their own experiences and trauma that they have experienced. So

Mandy Harvey 00:12:41

Oh,

Lorilee Binstock 00:12:42

I was wondering if you were were comfortable

and talking about your own experience.

Mandy Harvey 00:12:44

Yeah. Absolutely.

Just similar with you, Semantic experiencing was a huge

modality of healing for me that really

got me to the other side. I feel like really kinda helped push me

the on other side of the healing pendulum, if you will.

But I always... I say that I was born into

I was born to a single mother

who was operating from her own

trauma

Lorilee Binstock 00:13:12

Mhmm.

Mandy Harvey 00:13:15

and she had men come in and out of our life.

And those men weren't the greatest, and were often very abusive.

Kidney

Lorilee Binstock 00:13:24

Yeah.

Mandy Harvey 00:13:25

So from a very young age, I experience

sexual abuse from these men

and from the age of five, to the age of fourteen,

and

my relationship with my mother was one that she was not home.

She's not around very often. She was single parent in most of the years and

she was working multiple jobs. So I became

I had to become very independent to just serve

five, and she was not available physically. Most of the time,

So I learned to just kinda take care of myself and live in this

very un unsettling.

Level. I'm loving if you will home.

And from a very early age learning to detach from my body.

Because so many things that happened to me, I just

didn't wanna feel anything and just learned to survive.

And what I learned, how I learned to survive was and

very important because I have sure I survived it. I've gotten to the other side of it.

But at the around the age of thirteen, she married

An individual who I was a police office

and was very abusive and manipulative.

Lorilee Binstock 00:14:42

Mm-mm.

Mandy Harvey 00:14:43

And took the abuse to a whole new level.

With me. And

would use his power to abuse

more and more and more.

And eventually, I

told someone in school, what was going on, I told them what was happening

in the sexual abuse I was experiencing from this individual.

And

social workers got involved, You know, the whole process and started to unravel

And I became

Very nervous about

talking to my mom about this because I had already talked to her once.

Lorilee Binstock 00:15:26

Mm-mm

Mandy Harvey 00:15:25

And told her what had been happening why he'd been doing and

she said, you know, all talk to him. I'll make sure

he, you know, he stopped that.

Lorilee Binstock 00:15:37

Yeah.

Mandy Harvey 00:15:37

And nothing changed. So when I talk to

show that day after speaking to a account school and then telling me

we will need to report this.

In social worker will get involved and most likely, he'll be arrested and

you know, all the things that happen as a result of that.

I got real nervous. And I know well, can I please, you know, touch my mom

before you make that call, I believe it was a Friday or or

a Thursday was towards the end of a week? And

my mom's pattern and I every day

does she at home from work because we go in this walk.

It was the only moment in our day that was semi my human.

Where we could tap into some sort of connection. And so at the end of that walk,

I shared with her, Hey. This is what happened at school today. I

shared this with counselor. They told me blah blah blah blah blah.

She

turned me with rage in her eyes.

And anger and said how could you do

destroy our family

Lorilee Binstock 00:16:38

Oh my gosh.

Mandy Harvey 00:16:41

How could you do that chance?

And it was in the moment.

That was a pivotal moment in my life because I took on the beliefs

that my intuition was wrong.

That

Lorilee Binstock 00:16:54

Yeah. Question.

Mandy Harvey 00:16:56

I didn't know how to make good decisions for myself in that.

And, you know, throughout my adult life, I

gave away all dungeon making power over my life because of that moment.

So it became a pivotal moment in my healing process, but

what happened after that was a couple days later,

That was reported. He was put into jail. He

was released out on bond. There was

restraining order. So we... My mom and I were essentially, you know,

kind of navigating this world. I was

send to the police I was picked up at school when day by a police

officer and interrogated for hours on end.

I think they were trying to break me or

Lorilee Binstock 00:17:43

No.

Mandy Harvey 00:17:45

if I was lying about what had... I had a experienced,

Of course, I was not, and that was also another traumatic moment having to

relive and talk through exactly what I'd happened to me

to two men in this room without a social worker.

Without any other support in the room it was very traumatic.

After that occurred a couple days later,

I came home from school and found suicide letter.

From both him and my mother. And

they were gone. No nowhere to be found.

So I was... I moved in with some family members.

And it was a a couple days later where they were found. They had taken their life.

Shop themselves.

Lorilee Binstock 00:18:34

Oh my goodness.

Mandy Harvey 00:18:35

Yeah.

And that became also

huge moment of evidence for me about my decision making

really wrong because it created such destruction. My

entire your life changed in a moment.

From

  1. No longer having a mother and, you know,

in the at the in the early years, I wanted her

even though she was or not,

emotionally available even though she was not neglect, even though she was alarming and abused

happened to me and putting me in these very unhealthy situations. I still wanted her.

Choose my mom.

And

you know, that's the interesting dynamics when we're children that I

attachment versus authenticity.

We attach to our caregivers regardless because we need that

need we need to feel like we belong some way

And that was really hard. It was very hard that you can imagine.

I start a therapy you started Em or Amd about

Yep.

Lorilee Binstock 00:19:37

In. Oh, wow.

Mandy Harvey 00:19:39

Right away to start to work on the guilt.

Because I felt like, I was the one that pulled the trigger

essentially, I took our lives.

Lorilee Binstock 00:19:48

Well,

Mandy Harvey 00:19:49

So I spent years I took my high school years

going through Ed,

and about my sophomore year, I started to get really just

done. I felt

I didn't wanna talk about it anymore. I didn't... My body started to really a

and hurt and all I could think about, which I just wanna see my mom again. And

I attempted to take my life when I was fifteen years old.

Lorilee Binstock 00:20:14

Mhmm

Mandy Harvey 00:20:13

I had a near death experience

I took and swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills one day at school.

Pass out.

The only thing I remember is waking up to this

beautiful, like, super warm

super loving golden

light, essentially.

Like, the most powerful feeling you could ever imagine and

time it by a thousand.

And I can remember thinking, oh my gosh. I've made it. I'm gonna get to see my mom again. I just

like, you waited

Lorilee Binstock 00:20:46

Oh my gosh.

Mandy Harvey 00:20:48

was because I had missed her so much.

And I remember thinking, oh, gosh.

Can't wait. To can't wait. When do I get to see her?

And I felt hand

I felt pressure on my chest, and I was being pushed back away.

And the only thing I heard was it's not your time.

And I welcome

Lorilee Binstock 00:21:13

Wow. That's powerful.

Mandy Harvey 00:21:15

it was so powerful. I woke up to the end of the

day. Kids were washing out of school, and I was like, what

happened.

Lorilee Binstock 00:21:25

Yeah

Mandy Harvey 00:21:26

I was just there. I was just there bike

what's wrong with me? Why can I just do this?

I made it home. I I gotta ride

home, and I started to loosen. I started to

have these really strange reactions to the sleep

being told in my body, and I was shaking. I was just

like, out of my mind and called nine eleven one, and they

put me into Icu for a couple of days.

And then admitted me to a mental institution for period of

time so that I could undergo some intense

treatment and was diagnosed with Ptsd.

Lorilee Binstock 00:22:09

mm-mm

Mandy Harvey 00:22:10

Put on some medication.

Some antidepressants, and that really became him intense

treatment and therapy for

a period of time, and then I continued my therapy

outside of that till the end of

high school. You know, I graduated high school, and I graduated

treatment and I was like, right. Life here I come.

But what I didn't realize was, you know, the layers and layers

and layer and layers of that experience.

I had gone through four years of therapy and thought, Okay. Like, I had to

touched it all. Right? Like, I'm good. But

as an adult, I started to become very upset.

With things being perfect. I started to

affect my outer world.

Like a magazine.

That you would see, you know, like, the cover of, like,

home and garden or, you know, the

cover or, you know, when you look at Crate barrel, and you see all of their

sing so perfectly, like that essentially was me

in my life, I

I perfected my outward appearance, my outward home, I was

you know, married with kids and everything was perfect, but on the inside,

I felt like I was crumbling and trying to hide it.

I kept pretending, but everything was fine, pretending that

all good. But really underneath, I was starting to

experience anxiety.

Major stress. And the more I felt just

heated within my body, the more I perfected and got obsessed.

With making everything exactly as it should be on the howard.

Were in the outward world.

In my twenties, in my late twenties, I started to have flashback

to my abuse as a child, and so I went through another round

multiple years of intense therapy.

In my late thirties

you know, all these years, I've been in and out them unfair of therapy, mostly top

therapy except for

in my teenage years, I went to em r. But in my late thirties,

all of a sudden in I started feeling

and

rage in my body and

the way I... I have an example of what this slips like

for me, and that was my daughter, my youngest.

Essentially beautiful she she's my teacher in

many ways.

Lorilee Binstock 00:24:40

Yes.

Mandy Harvey 00:24:42

She has this beautiful range of expressing emotion.

She can express bliss and joy.

And I'll go all the way to the other side with rage and anger.

And she just expresses so freely and

in the early year, she was about five around the time that I started having

this anger started to build up in my body.

It's very was very uncomfortable for me to watch her be so

angry at times. And I would try to... I would try to like,

Lorilee Binstock 00:25:17

Yeah.

Mandy Harvey 00:25:14

do everything I could to make sure she wasn't angry. Like, how can I clean her?

So I'd never have to hear her screaming because that literally sends

like pain ting throughout my entire body.

Lorilee Binstock 00:25:27

Mhmm.

Mandy Harvey 00:25:28

And there was one moment where

she was having this massive temper tantrum

and I, like, screaming and yelling and shots with

angry at me for... I'm sure the stupid is of things.

Lorilee Binstock 00:25:41

As children sometimes do.

Mandy Harvey 00:25:42

Yeah. Totally.

Lorilee Binstock 00:25:44

Yes.

Mandy Harvey 00:25:45

I'm sitting... I'm at the kitchen washing the dishes.

With my back to her, and I can steal this fire

rolling through my body from my feet

to my head, and it just hot, and it's burning, and I'm like,

oh my god. It she needs to shut up. I I

I was, like, what I'm trying to breathe? I'm trying to, like, okay. You know, I can.

I can't do anything. I just kinda like a letter her ride this out, but it was like, this

this movement was happening in my body, and I cannot control it in it

poof out through the top of my head.

Explosion I turned around, and I had this glass in my hand that I was washing and I

through and another feet, and I yelled to shot.

Showed up. And I remember seeing her face was like,

massive.

Shock and fear. Like, oh my god. Mom never yelled at me.

What to happen?

She's crying. I'm crying, and I'm like,

this isn't not who I am. Like, I don't want to be

like, throwing glasses of my children. Like, what

That's not me. That's not me.

And I knew something was going on. I just

could not understand or had the language I'd really understand it. So

that's what really became the catalyst for going and seeking soma thematic

experiencing therapy. And really,

learning how to unpack

the story and the energy and the emotions and all the parts

of me that were so stuck in my body from all the things

Lorilee Binstock 00:27:23

Wow.

Mandy Harvey 00:27:22

experienced as a child, and I took about a couple

you know, two and a half years. But then those two and a half years,

I healed more than I did in the last twenty years. Of

talk Therapy, and that's when I was like, oh gosh. Learning this about this connection

in our body and how our health is impacted.

How our relationships become impacted how we

the refreshing of our cells and all the ways really impacts

and impacts us at such a deep level.

That really for me was a light bulb. Like, oh my gosh.

People need to know him about that. I need to know about the the how

trauma at such an early age.

Can get stuck in our body.

And

you know, that stuck energy that stuck

part of us, wants to be healed and tries to be healed.

But

you know, over time as we don't really live that it shows up in healthy

shoes. I show that this relationship issues is shows up an and it just

for me with all the things.

Lorilee Binstock 00:28:29

Wow. That's power. You know, I've

Mandy Harvey 00:28:32

Right.

Lorilee Binstock 00:28:33

I found myself in your shoes with my children

I think it's hard if you if you've experienced trauma,

your your your children are their your best teachers

Mandy Harvey 00:28:44

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:28:43

sometimes it's hard to see what they're trying to show you.

Is really, really hard, and and I'm I'm realizing that, you know,

Mandy Harvey 00:28:54

Or.

Lorilee Binstock 00:28:52

I'm an internal family systems therapy.

Which is it's it's amazing. And and, you know, it's

it's it it is really hard to see my daughter because

in a way, she's like, a reflection of the things that I really hated about myself.

Right? Like, the, you know, the self loading of why, you know,

my parents would not let me feel.

Mandy Harvey 00:29:17

Yes.

Lorilee Binstock 00:29:15

God forbid. I cried, gone from head, like,

I showed motion and

you know? And I'm trying to give my children the space for them to

show their emotion

there times when I look at my daughter, and I'm like, oh my god. That's me That is

Mandy Harvey 00:29:34

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:29:33

  1. And this is not good. Because I have not

Mandy Harvey 00:29:36

Oh,

Lorilee Binstock 00:29:37

come to terms with that part of me yet.

Mandy Harvey 00:29:40

Yeah

Lorilee Binstock 00:29:40

But I'm I'm... It's the awareness.

Mandy Harvey 00:29:42

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:29:44

That I'm realizing.

So the... And, you know,

for me as well with the sad experiencing

for me, I was like, oh my gosh. Because you, I think it was

my third episode

of my podcast were right. We're at ninety three.

Mandy Harvey 00:30:02

Alright.

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:02

But my third episode of of my podcast I talked about schematic

Mandy Harvey 00:30:06

That

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:05

experiencing because I had never heard about traumatic experiencing

prior to my treatment.

And just not understand

Mandy Harvey 00:30:14

Oh,

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:14

you know, understanding that that energies

Mandy Harvey 00:30:18

It is

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:17

trapped in your body is I feel like it's everything because it's like well, whoa

Mandy Harvey 00:30:22

yeah

Or

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:21

then you can name it, and then you can understand it.

And then you can find the root to it.

Mandy Harvey 00:30:26

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:27

And and now what you're saying is

it's related to all these chronic health issues.

And you're right. I didn't really. Even even post

experience in free. I didn't even realize that

I used to go to the host to the every single year as of a child.

Mandy Harvey 00:30:44

And

yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:45

For for stomach issues. And they'd be like, oh, it's gastro arthritis.

Mandy Harvey 00:30:48

Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:50

And

after a while, like, wait a minute. There's this correlate, like,

I I've been dealing with the this this trauma from

childhood sexual abuse and

And then all of a sudden, once I started actually getting help,

I I haven't been to the hospital

sense for

Mandy Harvey 00:31:10

That's great.

Lorilee Binstock 00:31:11

for my gastro that I was there for a

for every single year,

at least once a year.

Mandy Harvey 00:31:16

Yes.

Lorilee Binstock 00:31:19

It's crazy.

Mandy Harvey 00:31:20

That's really... It. Yeah. It's similar. Like, I a diagnosed with

Ibs when I was a eighteen team,

and I always had adjusted issues always

And it makes sense now we hold a lot of emotion and

you know, At least I do. I hold a lot of emotion in my gut.

And what I started to really notice when I became

what I shouldn't become more aware of the idea that we

we can hold and press these emotions in our body and even these

experiences can get stuck in our body. What I started really noticing is when

I was still working in Corporate America. Is that I would have a stressful day

And by the end of the day, my stomach would be so bloated.

From

Lorilee Binstock 00:32:09

Mm-mm

Mandy Harvey 00:32:10

stress and emotion of, like, how... Like, again, that perfection

archive, I wanted to be perfect at my job.

And so I pushed myself and would take on more than I should never said no.

And worked long hours and

you know, tried to be this wonder woman who had the job and the career and

kids and, you know, just was killing it all places, but I

mate meant I held a lot of stress. And by the end of the day,

it would look like I was five months pregnant. My stomach would be

So so bloated

with emotion. I'd have to lay down in my bathroom and just like,

train slowly

you know, breathe and start to

you know, reconnect to my body again. And that was really the moment

I was like, oh my gosh. I'm holding so much stress.

In my body, but it not just the stress from the work.

It's it's the stress of here.

Of being chronically stressed, you know, from the moment.

Have was a child.

Lorilee Binstock 00:33:16

So how do... How did you heal or or work?

Mandy Harvey 00:33:18

Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock 00:33:20

Under Ibm.

Mandy Harvey 00:33:21

Yeah.

In years, it's been a it's spinach a journey age like, with healing,

healing from my past, but it started with

it started with a semantic experiencing really

helping me understand the language of my nervous

in the language. Like, I did... I spent a lot of time really assessing

how my body felt in certain in different

experiences and around different people so that I could just start to understand

when I feel like I can't say no, my body feels this

play when I feel relaxed, my body feels this way.

So I became sort become this detective of, like,

the language of my nervous, how it was

interacting with my environment how was trying to cut

my attention. And

I started to work on healing those parts

within me using if and using thematic experiencing.

Lorilee Binstock 00:34:23

Mhmm.

Mandy Harvey 00:34:25

Healing those parts that help the pain in the wounds.

And working on integrating them back into my

whole body. And then I started working with a functional practitioner.

To care for the physical

aspects of that,

of that stress, which was my ibs.

I worked on

changing my diet, and my diet has changed

over the years, and I think there is no one size that's all for anybody

that's what I've learned through my own nutritional education as well in my own

experiences. You know, when I first started then, I was eating paleo, but

today, I don't eat paleo modified

form of it. But I just took out

just like... Just like with emotion, I would

I would cope with my

emotional swings in my stressful days with eating.

I was an emotional eater, and I would eat

the sugar and the carbs and

the treats and all the scenes. And when I started working on that,

it really started to shift the diet that I was able to maintain

that was helpful in healing for my body.

So I worked on that part that emotionally eater her her a lot.

And at first, I just you know, when I would feel stressed and wanna

eat, like, pink, waffles and syrup was the thing that I wanted to eat every day when I was

stressed.

So there would be moments where I'd wanna eat that, and I would let myself

eat it, but I'd invite that part that emotional either part in with me.

To join me. And I would, you know, just have this, like, internal dialogue with

part

and I listened to her about how stressed she was. And I learned that

I was a teenager, and I lost my mom

and went through all of that. That's really when that part showed up.

That's really when food became a

coping mechanism I became something that issues my myself.

Lorilee Binstock 00:36:29

Did it feel like it was a part that you could control a lot more?

Than anything else.

Mandy Harvey 00:36:35

When I started... Yeah. I mean, I I feel like

that part. Well, that purpose felt uncontrollable at first.

You know, when I was going through the emotional swings, I felt like that part

took over my life. You know, and I would just rav

anything and everything. And once I felt better then it felt like, I had more clarity and I could

live my life. But as I started to work on healing them,

card.

I felt like I had more control of the

situation. So, you know,

couple weeks or months into working with that part when I would get stressed

I'd noticed the need or desire to twenty emotionally eat.

And then I could place my hand on my heart, which is I always felt her in my chest.

Lorilee Binstock 00:37:21

Mhmm.

Mandy Harvey 00:37:22

I was... When I felt stressed and wanted to emotionally eat, my chest would feel

tight. So I placed my hand there and I tell, hey, honey. I know it were really strong.

Right now. Like, I get it. I know why you wanna emotionally heat.

But I also know that doesn't make us feel any better.

So let's go sit outside and watch the sunset or put our feet in the grass.

And that part really liked

Lorilee Binstock 00:37:45

Wow.

Mandy Harvey 00:37:45

as an alternative to eating. So I

switched out the

more healthy way of coping with my

stressful and stress and emotions.

And the more that I did that, the more that I stuck with that, when I changed my diet,

to accommodate the healing of my gut.

I was able to stick with it even during time of

stress because I had really done the work to

to heal that part to build a relationship with that part.

Major you.

Lorilee Binstock 00:38:18

Wow. That that's incredible. That's a great. I'd love internal family systems hair.

Mandy Harvey 00:38:24

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:38:23

In understanding your part.

But that that is that is a very beautiful way to look. I'm, like

seeing their thinking like yeah that that that that's that should be healed too.

That should be taken care of you.

Mandy Harvey 00:38:35

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:38:35

Well, will you

have a pro we have several programs. Right? For for

people who want to heal

themselves kind of

I I'm kind of. I'm curious to know

what are

what is what comes with these programs? What is it that you do?

From start to finish.

Mandy Harvey 00:38:57

Yeah. Absolutely.

I have

I have digital courses. I

have healing sessions. I have three month long. It

experiences. I even do hiking and healing.

Journeys, but the online courses is

I have a couple of them. There's is one about Burnout,

and learning how to rewire your body and get

your life back that you can start to enjoy it again.

And I have another one that's called

which is all about aligning to the success that you want to see in your life.

These are online courses that they come with

video training sessions for me. They come with workbook.

They come with audio meditations. They come with Thematic

experiencing practices. But these ones are more self obtained.

Lorilee Binstock 00:39:52

Mhmm.

Mandy Harvey 00:39:54

So that you can take your time going through them.

And, you know,

really anger into experiencing the content within them.

The anchored and success program is thirty days if you were to do a little bit every day.

So that's, like, thirty minutes a day where you're listening or watching a video.

Or listening to an audio, there might be some activity where you start to assess.

Your life in a variety of ways.

You would then have practices, like,

emotional nutrition recommendations,

mindful types of things, thematic experiencing, types of things,

ceiling trauma, you know, regulating emotions, nervous

regulation. All of my courses have like kind of

a mesh, if you will of all of those types topics.

  continue reading

100集单集

Artwork
icon分享
 
Manage episode 361112906 series 2836435
内容由Lorilee Binstock提供。所有播客内容(包括剧集、图形和播客描述)均由 Lorilee Binstock 或其播客平台合作伙伴直接上传和提供。如果您认为有人在未经您许可的情况下使用您的受版权保护的作品,您可以按照此处概述的流程进行操作https://zh.player.fm/legal

This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, April 19th, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat.

Today's guest is Mandy Harvey, a global leader in trauma healing.

Lorilee Binstock 00:00:34

Welcome. I'm Loriee Binstock

And this is a trauma survivor, thriver's podcast.

Hello, everyone. My apologies

Thank you, for so much for joining me today live on FireSide chat where you can be a part of the conversation as my virtual on and time your home loyalty been stuck. Everyone has an opportunity to ask me or our guest

question if By requesting to hop on stage, you're sending a message in the chat box, I will try to get to you but I do I ask everyone be respectful. Today's guest is Mandy

rv she is a global leader in trauma healing.

Maybe, thank you so much for joining me today.

Mandy Harvey 00:03:20

You're welcome. Thank you for having me.

Lorilee Binstock 00:03:23

Well, I do want to talk

to... You know where I wanna talk to you about chronic illness

and trauma in that connection. We've had folks

talk a little bit about that. But you also have a

program and a protocol to actually solve it all. So

for for people who haven't heard anyway previous

podcast. Could you imagine

talk about the connection between chronic illness and trauma.

Mandy Harvey 00:03:51

Yeah. Absolutely. Well,

what's very interesting about chronic health issues

as we become adults once we start to develop them,

it's not in uncommon. I think we all know someone or more than one person who might

suffer with some type of chronic health issue or autoimmune condition.

It is a very common

experience. But there is a correlation between

developing that later in life and what we experience

in our early childhood. And

What's really interesting to mean

is that our protocols currently

to

care for our chronic health issues to care for our our autoimmune condition

are often focused on our diet, which is an important element. It's

focus on our lifestyle, which is also important and perhaps some medication

But the people that I work with off

and don't resolve their health issues or don't

feel a sense of relief with those three pillars.

And in my own hinge

of being a functional nutritional therapy practitioner.

And someone who is also experiencing practice

I started to really dive into the

under eigenvalues of why would I like get... Why would someone struggle

to improve their health when they're eating the right things.

When they are

moving their bodies in the right way, and they're feeling some relief, but they're really

not able to get over the edge of feeling

like they're able to thrive in their life. And as I started to, I need cover

and discover kind of the correlation between our early childhood experiences

in our house leader in life, that really showed to

help me see this many piece that we often don't.

We don't include in our protocols we're not told about it, and That was also the key

for myself

and it comes down to

what I like to talk about in terms of emotions in our

immune system. So emotions in general, they have one fundamental

function. And that really our emotions that you think about them is

to allow what is healthy, what is nourishing and what a supportive

for us, allowing my into our life and

Our emotions can also help us keep out what is

toxic and dangerous. They can become this filter for us. They can be

this

kind of this roadmap map if you will to help and and know which what

helpful for us and what isn't helpful. But

that is also the role of our immune system. Our immune system does exactly the

thing It's to keep out what's toxic and to let in what's nourishing

lighting in the nutrients of vitamins, the healthy bacteria,

and to keep out and destroy

what isn't healthy and a port of?

So the emotional in the immune system are exactly the same function.

So when we experience something traumatic in childhood, or even if we

well, meaning, parents, but they unfortunately just

didn't meet our needs as a child, And we learn that

we need to refresh our emotions or we learn to

hold shame about who we are and how we're

how

how we're feeling or we are taught that we are

you know, we believe are bad or wrong because of experiences we've had in childhood.

We start to refresh ourselves physically, and that can have an impact

on our immune system. So the more that we learn to

sorry emotions and the more that we impress ourselves just in general,

the more impact it has in our immune.

So when we going a little bit deeper in the

childhood when we have a traumatic experience in childhood or we have ongoing

traumatic experiences like abuse or an neglect or

emotionally unavailable.

Caretaker or anything in the realm of that.

We

our bodies go through a process to activate our

stress hormone. So say we experience them.

Fall our body goes to the process of activating our adrenals and activating our

hormones months

that process is meant to help us ready our body to

site a threat to run away from the threat or and

you know, get ourselves to safety but as the child

oftentimes, if we're experiencing abuse on a regular basis, we

or any of these instructions circumstances would... I just shared. We're not able to

Lorilee Binstock 00:08:48

Mhmm.

Mandy Harvey 00:08:47

run away or fight our

abuse in most cases. And so

the body cannot turn off those functions once it has started.

And what happens is one that trauma

as a child gets stuck in our body and in our psyche, but to that

stress of that trauma. And the

activation of our stress hormones.

To ready our body to fight or flee that process

start to impact our biology, and it

essentially, makes us more susceptible to getting stressed.

Faster. So if you think about we experience something like that in childhood, and as we

become an adult. We may... If we have not,

healed those experiences and we're we've learned to

of physically that stress response becomes faster and found

Lorilee Binstock 00:09:41

Mm-mm

Mandy Harvey 00:09:42

share and faster. We experience stress an adult

And eventually, our bodies just get out. We can only handle so much.

Before our bodies burn out, and then we start to develop

these chronic health issues because of the impact, that that's stressed.

Had had on our immune system and the

be rep refreshing of those emotions and the energy of those emotions in our body starts to

deteriorate our health, and then we start to develop these health issues.

Lorilee Binstock 00:10:09

Wow, you know, I

manic experiencing was

so vital in my healing and understanding

trauma when I was first

seeking help in twenty twenty and residential treatment

Mandy Harvey 00:10:30

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:10:29

experiencing was a big part of it.

And so I'm able to kind of

understand that I obviously have my moments where I've

I I can't really think logically and rash

about what's actually happening in my brain, But

you know, I I think you know this. I I actually tour my Acl recently.

And I just got surgery a couple weeks ago.

And my husband has got as in a way

Mandy Harvey 00:10:56

Oh,

Lorilee Binstock 00:10:56

So I I feel like my stress level is

so heightened, and I feel like I have been so just

Mandy Harvey 00:11:02

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:11:05

so completely reactive with my children, and I realized

when I was... I just like, downstairs stairs, and we live in

you know... It's like three stories and Capitol Hill very narrow and

tall.

And my children I heard them on the third floor, screaming.

And, like, immediately, I just felt like everything just

ten up because, typically, if they're screaming, I'm like, okay.

Mandy Harvey 00:11:31

Yes.

Lorilee Binstock 00:11:30

I'll be there. But now, but I'm like, oh my gosh. It's gonna take me forever to get

the stairs right now. Like, I don't know what's gonna happen.

And I started getting stressed out and angry and upset. And I... You know, I just

imagine a wounded animal in the forest and just like

Mandy Harvey 00:11:43

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:11:45

being wounded and, like, just the sound of wrestling will like,

really heighten their awareness of what's what's happening.

Am I am I going to die right now? Because that's that's the feeling I was getting.

But, yes, no. I I just

but that just an understanding of

from so experiencing has been so vital.

For me,

and I wanna get into how you're working that into the programs that

you're providing for people, but I do wanted to I do wanna ask, like,

if you are comfortable in telling your personal story because I know for

for me, most of the... The my my

podcast in the trauma survivor driver's podcast. And

the majority of people, if not all of the people who come on really

their they're

gift of helping people from healing their own their own toe

Mandy Harvey 00:12:38

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:12:38

their own experiences and trauma that they have experienced. So

Mandy Harvey 00:12:41

Oh,

Lorilee Binstock 00:12:42

I was wondering if you were were comfortable

and talking about your own experience.

Mandy Harvey 00:12:44

Yeah. Absolutely.

Just similar with you, Semantic experiencing was a huge

modality of healing for me that really

got me to the other side. I feel like really kinda helped push me

the on other side of the healing pendulum, if you will.

But I always... I say that I was born into

I was born to a single mother

who was operating from her own

trauma

Lorilee Binstock 00:13:12

Mhmm.

Mandy Harvey 00:13:15

and she had men come in and out of our life.

And those men weren't the greatest, and were often very abusive.

Kidney

Lorilee Binstock 00:13:24

Yeah.

Mandy Harvey 00:13:25

So from a very young age, I experience

sexual abuse from these men

and from the age of five, to the age of fourteen,

and

my relationship with my mother was one that she was not home.

She's not around very often. She was single parent in most of the years and

she was working multiple jobs. So I became

I had to become very independent to just serve

five, and she was not available physically. Most of the time,

So I learned to just kinda take care of myself and live in this

very un unsettling.

Level. I'm loving if you will home.

And from a very early age learning to detach from my body.

Because so many things that happened to me, I just

didn't wanna feel anything and just learned to survive.

And what I learned, how I learned to survive was and

very important because I have sure I survived it. I've gotten to the other side of it.

But at the around the age of thirteen, she married

An individual who I was a police office

and was very abusive and manipulative.

Lorilee Binstock 00:14:42

Mm-mm.

Mandy Harvey 00:14:43

And took the abuse to a whole new level.

With me. And

would use his power to abuse

more and more and more.

And eventually, I

told someone in school, what was going on, I told them what was happening

in the sexual abuse I was experiencing from this individual.

And

social workers got involved, You know, the whole process and started to unravel

And I became

Very nervous about

talking to my mom about this because I had already talked to her once.

Lorilee Binstock 00:15:26

Mm-mm

Mandy Harvey 00:15:25

And told her what had been happening why he'd been doing and

she said, you know, all talk to him. I'll make sure

he, you know, he stopped that.

Lorilee Binstock 00:15:37

Yeah.

Mandy Harvey 00:15:37

And nothing changed. So when I talk to

show that day after speaking to a account school and then telling me

we will need to report this.

In social worker will get involved and most likely, he'll be arrested and

you know, all the things that happen as a result of that.

I got real nervous. And I know well, can I please, you know, touch my mom

before you make that call, I believe it was a Friday or or

a Thursday was towards the end of a week? And

my mom's pattern and I every day

does she at home from work because we go in this walk.

It was the only moment in our day that was semi my human.

Where we could tap into some sort of connection. And so at the end of that walk,

I shared with her, Hey. This is what happened at school today. I

shared this with counselor. They told me blah blah blah blah blah.

She

turned me with rage in her eyes.

And anger and said how could you do

destroy our family

Lorilee Binstock 00:16:38

Oh my gosh.

Mandy Harvey 00:16:41

How could you do that chance?

And it was in the moment.

That was a pivotal moment in my life because I took on the beliefs

that my intuition was wrong.

That

Lorilee Binstock 00:16:54

Yeah. Question.

Mandy Harvey 00:16:56

I didn't know how to make good decisions for myself in that.

And, you know, throughout my adult life, I

gave away all dungeon making power over my life because of that moment.

So it became a pivotal moment in my healing process, but

what happened after that was a couple days later,

That was reported. He was put into jail. He

was released out on bond. There was

restraining order. So we... My mom and I were essentially, you know,

kind of navigating this world. I was

send to the police I was picked up at school when day by a police

officer and interrogated for hours on end.

I think they were trying to break me or

Lorilee Binstock 00:17:43

No.

Mandy Harvey 00:17:45

if I was lying about what had... I had a experienced,

Of course, I was not, and that was also another traumatic moment having to

relive and talk through exactly what I'd happened to me

to two men in this room without a social worker.

Without any other support in the room it was very traumatic.

After that occurred a couple days later,

I came home from school and found suicide letter.

From both him and my mother. And

they were gone. No nowhere to be found.

So I was... I moved in with some family members.

And it was a a couple days later where they were found. They had taken their life.

Shop themselves.

Lorilee Binstock 00:18:34

Oh my goodness.

Mandy Harvey 00:18:35

Yeah.

And that became also

huge moment of evidence for me about my decision making

really wrong because it created such destruction. My

entire your life changed in a moment.

From

  1. No longer having a mother and, you know,

in the at the in the early years, I wanted her

even though she was or not,

emotionally available even though she was not neglect, even though she was alarming and abused

happened to me and putting me in these very unhealthy situations. I still wanted her.

Choose my mom.

And

you know, that's the interesting dynamics when we're children that I

attachment versus authenticity.

We attach to our caregivers regardless because we need that

need we need to feel like we belong some way

And that was really hard. It was very hard that you can imagine.

I start a therapy you started Em or Amd about

Yep.

Lorilee Binstock 00:19:37

In. Oh, wow.

Mandy Harvey 00:19:39

Right away to start to work on the guilt.

Because I felt like, I was the one that pulled the trigger

essentially, I took our lives.

Lorilee Binstock 00:19:48

Well,

Mandy Harvey 00:19:49

So I spent years I took my high school years

going through Ed,

and about my sophomore year, I started to get really just

done. I felt

I didn't wanna talk about it anymore. I didn't... My body started to really a

and hurt and all I could think about, which I just wanna see my mom again. And

I attempted to take my life when I was fifteen years old.

Lorilee Binstock 00:20:14

Mhmm

Mandy Harvey 00:20:13

I had a near death experience

I took and swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills one day at school.

Pass out.

The only thing I remember is waking up to this

beautiful, like, super warm

super loving golden

light, essentially.

Like, the most powerful feeling you could ever imagine and

time it by a thousand.

And I can remember thinking, oh my gosh. I've made it. I'm gonna get to see my mom again. I just

like, you waited

Lorilee Binstock 00:20:46

Oh my gosh.

Mandy Harvey 00:20:48

was because I had missed her so much.

And I remember thinking, oh, gosh.

Can't wait. To can't wait. When do I get to see her?

And I felt hand

I felt pressure on my chest, and I was being pushed back away.

And the only thing I heard was it's not your time.

And I welcome

Lorilee Binstock 00:21:13

Wow. That's powerful.

Mandy Harvey 00:21:15

it was so powerful. I woke up to the end of the

day. Kids were washing out of school, and I was like, what

happened.

Lorilee Binstock 00:21:25

Yeah

Mandy Harvey 00:21:26

I was just there. I was just there bike

what's wrong with me? Why can I just do this?

I made it home. I I gotta ride

home, and I started to loosen. I started to

have these really strange reactions to the sleep

being told in my body, and I was shaking. I was just

like, out of my mind and called nine eleven one, and they

put me into Icu for a couple of days.

And then admitted me to a mental institution for period of

time so that I could undergo some intense

treatment and was diagnosed with Ptsd.

Lorilee Binstock 00:22:09

mm-mm

Mandy Harvey 00:22:10

Put on some medication.

Some antidepressants, and that really became him intense

treatment and therapy for

a period of time, and then I continued my therapy

outside of that till the end of

high school. You know, I graduated high school, and I graduated

treatment and I was like, right. Life here I come.

But what I didn't realize was, you know, the layers and layers

and layer and layers of that experience.

I had gone through four years of therapy and thought, Okay. Like, I had to

touched it all. Right? Like, I'm good. But

as an adult, I started to become very upset.

With things being perfect. I started to

affect my outer world.

Like a magazine.

That you would see, you know, like, the cover of, like,

home and garden or, you know, the

cover or, you know, when you look at Crate barrel, and you see all of their

sing so perfectly, like that essentially was me

in my life, I

I perfected my outward appearance, my outward home, I was

you know, married with kids and everything was perfect, but on the inside,

I felt like I was crumbling and trying to hide it.

I kept pretending, but everything was fine, pretending that

all good. But really underneath, I was starting to

experience anxiety.

Major stress. And the more I felt just

heated within my body, the more I perfected and got obsessed.

With making everything exactly as it should be on the howard.

Were in the outward world.

In my twenties, in my late twenties, I started to have flashback

to my abuse as a child, and so I went through another round

multiple years of intense therapy.

In my late thirties

you know, all these years, I've been in and out them unfair of therapy, mostly top

therapy except for

in my teenage years, I went to em r. But in my late thirties,

all of a sudden in I started feeling

and

rage in my body and

the way I... I have an example of what this slips like

for me, and that was my daughter, my youngest.

Essentially beautiful she she's my teacher in

many ways.

Lorilee Binstock 00:24:40

Yes.

Mandy Harvey 00:24:42

She has this beautiful range of expressing emotion.

She can express bliss and joy.

And I'll go all the way to the other side with rage and anger.

And she just expresses so freely and

in the early year, she was about five around the time that I started having

this anger started to build up in my body.

It's very was very uncomfortable for me to watch her be so

angry at times. And I would try to... I would try to like,

Lorilee Binstock 00:25:17

Yeah.

Mandy Harvey 00:25:14

do everything I could to make sure she wasn't angry. Like, how can I clean her?

So I'd never have to hear her screaming because that literally sends

like pain ting throughout my entire body.

Lorilee Binstock 00:25:27

Mhmm.

Mandy Harvey 00:25:28

And there was one moment where

she was having this massive temper tantrum

and I, like, screaming and yelling and shots with

angry at me for... I'm sure the stupid is of things.

Lorilee Binstock 00:25:41

As children sometimes do.

Mandy Harvey 00:25:42

Yeah. Totally.

Lorilee Binstock 00:25:44

Yes.

Mandy Harvey 00:25:45

I'm sitting... I'm at the kitchen washing the dishes.

With my back to her, and I can steal this fire

rolling through my body from my feet

to my head, and it just hot, and it's burning, and I'm like,

oh my god. It she needs to shut up. I I

I was, like, what I'm trying to breathe? I'm trying to, like, okay. You know, I can.

I can't do anything. I just kinda like a letter her ride this out, but it was like, this

this movement was happening in my body, and I cannot control it in it

poof out through the top of my head.

Explosion I turned around, and I had this glass in my hand that I was washing and I

through and another feet, and I yelled to shot.

Showed up. And I remember seeing her face was like,

massive.

Shock and fear. Like, oh my god. Mom never yelled at me.

What to happen?

She's crying. I'm crying, and I'm like,

this isn't not who I am. Like, I don't want to be

like, throwing glasses of my children. Like, what

That's not me. That's not me.

And I knew something was going on. I just

could not understand or had the language I'd really understand it. So

that's what really became the catalyst for going and seeking soma thematic

experiencing therapy. And really,

learning how to unpack

the story and the energy and the emotions and all the parts

of me that were so stuck in my body from all the things

Lorilee Binstock 00:27:23

Wow.

Mandy Harvey 00:27:22

experienced as a child, and I took about a couple

you know, two and a half years. But then those two and a half years,

I healed more than I did in the last twenty years. Of

talk Therapy, and that's when I was like, oh gosh. Learning this about this connection

in our body and how our health is impacted.

How our relationships become impacted how we

the refreshing of our cells and all the ways really impacts

and impacts us at such a deep level.

That really for me was a light bulb. Like, oh my gosh.

People need to know him about that. I need to know about the the how

trauma at such an early age.

Can get stuck in our body.

And

you know, that stuck energy that stuck

part of us, wants to be healed and tries to be healed.

But

you know, over time as we don't really live that it shows up in healthy

shoes. I show that this relationship issues is shows up an and it just

for me with all the things.

Lorilee Binstock 00:28:29

Wow. That's power. You know, I've

Mandy Harvey 00:28:32

Right.

Lorilee Binstock 00:28:33

I found myself in your shoes with my children

I think it's hard if you if you've experienced trauma,

your your your children are their your best teachers

Mandy Harvey 00:28:44

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:28:43

sometimes it's hard to see what they're trying to show you.

Is really, really hard, and and I'm I'm realizing that, you know,

Mandy Harvey 00:28:54

Or.

Lorilee Binstock 00:28:52

I'm an internal family systems therapy.

Which is it's it's amazing. And and, you know, it's

it's it it is really hard to see my daughter because

in a way, she's like, a reflection of the things that I really hated about myself.

Right? Like, the, you know, the self loading of why, you know,

my parents would not let me feel.

Mandy Harvey 00:29:17

Yes.

Lorilee Binstock 00:29:15

God forbid. I cried, gone from head, like,

I showed motion and

you know? And I'm trying to give my children the space for them to

show their emotion

there times when I look at my daughter, and I'm like, oh my god. That's me That is

Mandy Harvey 00:29:34

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:29:33

  1. And this is not good. Because I have not

Mandy Harvey 00:29:36

Oh,

Lorilee Binstock 00:29:37

come to terms with that part of me yet.

Mandy Harvey 00:29:40

Yeah

Lorilee Binstock 00:29:40

But I'm I'm... It's the awareness.

Mandy Harvey 00:29:42

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:29:44

That I'm realizing.

So the... And, you know,

for me as well with the sad experiencing

for me, I was like, oh my gosh. Because you, I think it was

my third episode

of my podcast were right. We're at ninety three.

Mandy Harvey 00:30:02

Alright.

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:02

But my third episode of of my podcast I talked about schematic

Mandy Harvey 00:30:06

That

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:05

experiencing because I had never heard about traumatic experiencing

prior to my treatment.

And just not understand

Mandy Harvey 00:30:14

Oh,

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:14

you know, understanding that that energies

Mandy Harvey 00:30:18

It is

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:17

trapped in your body is I feel like it's everything because it's like well, whoa

Mandy Harvey 00:30:22

yeah

Or

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:21

then you can name it, and then you can understand it.

And then you can find the root to it.

Mandy Harvey 00:30:26

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:27

And and now what you're saying is

it's related to all these chronic health issues.

And you're right. I didn't really. Even even post

experience in free. I didn't even realize that

I used to go to the host to the every single year as of a child.

Mandy Harvey 00:30:44

And

yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:45

For for stomach issues. And they'd be like, oh, it's gastro arthritis.

Mandy Harvey 00:30:48

Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock 00:30:50

And

after a while, like, wait a minute. There's this correlate, like,

I I've been dealing with the this this trauma from

childhood sexual abuse and

And then all of a sudden, once I started actually getting help,

I I haven't been to the hospital

sense for

Mandy Harvey 00:31:10

That's great.

Lorilee Binstock 00:31:11

for my gastro that I was there for a

for every single year,

at least once a year.

Mandy Harvey 00:31:16

Yes.

Lorilee Binstock 00:31:19

It's crazy.

Mandy Harvey 00:31:20

That's really... It. Yeah. It's similar. Like, I a diagnosed with

Ibs when I was a eighteen team,

and I always had adjusted issues always

And it makes sense now we hold a lot of emotion and

you know, At least I do. I hold a lot of emotion in my gut.

And what I started to really notice when I became

what I shouldn't become more aware of the idea that we

we can hold and press these emotions in our body and even these

experiences can get stuck in our body. What I started really noticing is when

I was still working in Corporate America. Is that I would have a stressful day

And by the end of the day, my stomach would be so bloated.

From

Lorilee Binstock 00:32:09

Mm-mm

Mandy Harvey 00:32:10

stress and emotion of, like, how... Like, again, that perfection

archive, I wanted to be perfect at my job.

And so I pushed myself and would take on more than I should never said no.

And worked long hours and

you know, tried to be this wonder woman who had the job and the career and

kids and, you know, just was killing it all places, but I

mate meant I held a lot of stress. And by the end of the day,

it would look like I was five months pregnant. My stomach would be

So so bloated

with emotion. I'd have to lay down in my bathroom and just like,

train slowly

you know, breathe and start to

you know, reconnect to my body again. And that was really the moment

I was like, oh my gosh. I'm holding so much stress.

In my body, but it not just the stress from the work.

It's it's the stress of here.

Of being chronically stressed, you know, from the moment.

Have was a child.

Lorilee Binstock 00:33:16

So how do... How did you heal or or work?

Mandy Harvey 00:33:18

Mhmm.

Lorilee Binstock 00:33:20

Under Ibm.

Mandy Harvey 00:33:21

Yeah.

In years, it's been a it's spinach a journey age like, with healing,

healing from my past, but it started with

it started with a semantic experiencing really

helping me understand the language of my nervous

in the language. Like, I did... I spent a lot of time really assessing

how my body felt in certain in different

experiences and around different people so that I could just start to understand

when I feel like I can't say no, my body feels this

play when I feel relaxed, my body feels this way.

So I became sort become this detective of, like,

the language of my nervous, how it was

interacting with my environment how was trying to cut

my attention. And

I started to work on healing those parts

within me using if and using thematic experiencing.

Lorilee Binstock 00:34:23

Mhmm.

Mandy Harvey 00:34:25

Healing those parts that help the pain in the wounds.

And working on integrating them back into my

whole body. And then I started working with a functional practitioner.

To care for the physical

aspects of that,

of that stress, which was my ibs.

I worked on

changing my diet, and my diet has changed

over the years, and I think there is no one size that's all for anybody

that's what I've learned through my own nutritional education as well in my own

experiences. You know, when I first started then, I was eating paleo, but

today, I don't eat paleo modified

form of it. But I just took out

just like... Just like with emotion, I would

I would cope with my

emotional swings in my stressful days with eating.

I was an emotional eater, and I would eat

the sugar and the carbs and

the treats and all the scenes. And when I started working on that,

it really started to shift the diet that I was able to maintain

that was helpful in healing for my body.

So I worked on that part that emotionally eater her her a lot.

And at first, I just you know, when I would feel stressed and wanna

eat, like, pink, waffles and syrup was the thing that I wanted to eat every day when I was

stressed.

So there would be moments where I'd wanna eat that, and I would let myself

eat it, but I'd invite that part that emotional either part in with me.

To join me. And I would, you know, just have this, like, internal dialogue with

part

and I listened to her about how stressed she was. And I learned that

I was a teenager, and I lost my mom

and went through all of that. That's really when that part showed up.

That's really when food became a

coping mechanism I became something that issues my myself.

Lorilee Binstock 00:36:29

Did it feel like it was a part that you could control a lot more?

Than anything else.

Mandy Harvey 00:36:35

When I started... Yeah. I mean, I I feel like

that part. Well, that purpose felt uncontrollable at first.

You know, when I was going through the emotional swings, I felt like that part

took over my life. You know, and I would just rav

anything and everything. And once I felt better then it felt like, I had more clarity and I could

live my life. But as I started to work on healing them,

card.

I felt like I had more control of the

situation. So, you know,

couple weeks or months into working with that part when I would get stressed

I'd noticed the need or desire to twenty emotionally eat.

And then I could place my hand on my heart, which is I always felt her in my chest.

Lorilee Binstock 00:37:21

Mhmm.

Mandy Harvey 00:37:22

I was... When I felt stressed and wanted to emotionally eat, my chest would feel

tight. So I placed my hand there and I tell, hey, honey. I know it were really strong.

Right now. Like, I get it. I know why you wanna emotionally heat.

But I also know that doesn't make us feel any better.

So let's go sit outside and watch the sunset or put our feet in the grass.

And that part really liked

Lorilee Binstock 00:37:45

Wow.

Mandy Harvey 00:37:45

as an alternative to eating. So I

switched out the

more healthy way of coping with my

stressful and stress and emotions.

And the more that I did that, the more that I stuck with that, when I changed my diet,

to accommodate the healing of my gut.

I was able to stick with it even during time of

stress because I had really done the work to

to heal that part to build a relationship with that part.

Major you.

Lorilee Binstock 00:38:18

Wow. That that's incredible. That's a great. I'd love internal family systems hair.

Mandy Harvey 00:38:24

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:38:23

In understanding your part.

But that that is that is a very beautiful way to look. I'm, like

seeing their thinking like yeah that that that that's that should be healed too.

That should be taken care of you.

Mandy Harvey 00:38:35

Yeah.

Lorilee Binstock 00:38:35

Well, will you

have a pro we have several programs. Right? For for

people who want to heal

themselves kind of

I I'm kind of. I'm curious to know

what are

what is what comes with these programs? What is it that you do?

From start to finish.

Mandy Harvey 00:38:57

Yeah. Absolutely.

I have

I have digital courses. I

have healing sessions. I have three month long. It

experiences. I even do hiking and healing.

Journeys, but the online courses is

I have a couple of them. There's is one about Burnout,

and learning how to rewire your body and get

your life back that you can start to enjoy it again.

And I have another one that's called

which is all about aligning to the success that you want to see in your life.

These are online courses that they come with

video training sessions for me. They come with workbook.

They come with audio meditations. They come with Thematic

experiencing practices. But these ones are more self obtained.

Lorilee Binstock 00:39:52

Mhmm.

Mandy Harvey 00:39:54

So that you can take your time going through them.

And, you know,

really anger into experiencing the content within them.

The anchored and success program is thirty days if you were to do a little bit every day.

So that's, like, thirty minutes a day where you're listening or watching a video.

Or listening to an audio, there might be some activity where you start to assess.

Your life in a variety of ways.

You would then have practices, like,

emotional nutrition recommendations,

mindful types of things, thematic experiencing, types of things,

ceiling trauma, you know, regulating emotions, nervous

regulation. All of my courses have like kind of

a mesh, if you will of all of those types topics.

  continue reading

100集单集

所有剧集

×
 
Loading …

欢迎使用Player FM

Player FM正在网上搜索高质量的播客,以便您现在享受。它是最好的播客应用程序,适用于安卓、iPhone和网络。注册以跨设备同步订阅。

 

快速参考指南