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The Unspoken Root Cause
Manage episode 361112906 series 2836435
This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, April 19th, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat.
Today's guest is Mandy Harvey, a global leader in trauma healing.
Lorilee Binstock 00:00:34
Welcome. I'm Loriee Binstock
And this is a trauma survivor, thriver's podcast.
Hello, everyone. My apologies
Thank you, for so much for joining me today live on FireSide chat where you can be a part of the conversation as my virtual on and time your home loyalty been stuck. Everyone has an opportunity to ask me or our guest
question if By requesting to hop on stage, you're sending a message in the chat box, I will try to get to you but I do I ask everyone be respectful. Today's guest is Mandy
rv she is a global leader in trauma healing.
Maybe, thank you so much for joining me today.
Mandy Harvey 00:03:20
You're welcome. Thank you for having me.
Lorilee Binstock 00:03:23
Well, I do want to talk
to... You know where I wanna talk to you about chronic illness
and trauma in that connection. We've had folks
talk a little bit about that. But you also have a
program and a protocol to actually solve it all. So
for for people who haven't heard anyway previous
podcast. Could you imagine
talk about the connection between chronic illness and trauma.
Mandy Harvey 00:03:51
Yeah. Absolutely. Well,
what's very interesting about chronic health issues
as we become adults once we start to develop them,
it's not in uncommon. I think we all know someone or more than one person who might
suffer with some type of chronic health issue or autoimmune condition.
It is a very common
experience. But there is a correlation between
developing that later in life and what we experience
in our early childhood. And
What's really interesting to mean
is that our protocols currently
to
care for our chronic health issues to care for our our autoimmune condition
are often focused on our diet, which is an important element. It's
focus on our lifestyle, which is also important and perhaps some medication
But the people that I work with off
and don't resolve their health issues or don't
feel a sense of relief with those three pillars.
And in my own hinge
of being a functional nutritional therapy practitioner.
And someone who is also experiencing practice
I started to really dive into the
under eigenvalues of why would I like get... Why would someone struggle
to improve their health when they're eating the right things.
When they are
moving their bodies in the right way, and they're feeling some relief, but they're really
not able to get over the edge of feeling
like they're able to thrive in their life. And as I started to, I need cover
and discover kind of the correlation between our early childhood experiences
in our house leader in life, that really showed to
help me see this many piece that we often don't.
We don't include in our protocols we're not told about it, and That was also the key
for myself
and it comes down to
what I like to talk about in terms of emotions in our
immune system. So emotions in general, they have one fundamental
function. And that really our emotions that you think about them is
to allow what is healthy, what is nourishing and what a supportive
for us, allowing my into our life and
Our emotions can also help us keep out what is
toxic and dangerous. They can become this filter for us. They can be
this
kind of this roadmap map if you will to help and and know which what
helpful for us and what isn't helpful. But
that is also the role of our immune system. Our immune system does exactly the
thing It's to keep out what's toxic and to let in what's nourishing
lighting in the nutrients of vitamins, the healthy bacteria,
and to keep out and destroy
what isn't healthy and a port of?
So the emotional in the immune system are exactly the same function.
So when we experience something traumatic in childhood, or even if we
well, meaning, parents, but they unfortunately just
didn't meet our needs as a child, And we learn that
we need to refresh our emotions or we learn to
hold shame about who we are and how we're
how
how we're feeling or we are taught that we are
you know, we believe are bad or wrong because of experiences we've had in childhood.
We start to refresh ourselves physically, and that can have an impact
on our immune system. So the more that we learn to
sorry emotions and the more that we impress ourselves just in general,
the more impact it has in our immune.
So when we going a little bit deeper in the
childhood when we have a traumatic experience in childhood or we have ongoing
traumatic experiences like abuse or an neglect or
emotionally unavailable.
Caretaker or anything in the realm of that.
We
our bodies go through a process to activate our
stress hormone. So say we experience them.
Fall our body goes to the process of activating our adrenals and activating our
hormones months
that process is meant to help us ready our body to
site a threat to run away from the threat or and
you know, get ourselves to safety but as the child
oftentimes, if we're experiencing abuse on a regular basis, we
or any of these instructions circumstances would... I just shared. We're not able to
Lorilee Binstock 00:08:48
Mhmm.
Mandy Harvey 00:08:47
run away or fight our
abuse in most cases. And so
the body cannot turn off those functions once it has started.
And what happens is one that trauma
as a child gets stuck in our body and in our psyche, but to that
stress of that trauma. And the
activation of our stress hormones.
To ready our body to fight or flee that process
start to impact our biology, and it
essentially, makes us more susceptible to getting stressed.
Faster. So if you think about we experience something like that in childhood, and as we
become an adult. We may... If we have not,
healed those experiences and we're we've learned to
of physically that stress response becomes faster and found
Lorilee Binstock 00:09:41
Mm-mm
Mandy Harvey 00:09:42
share and faster. We experience stress an adult
And eventually, our bodies just get out. We can only handle so much.
Before our bodies burn out, and then we start to develop
these chronic health issues because of the impact, that that's stressed.
Had had on our immune system and the
be rep refreshing of those emotions and the energy of those emotions in our body starts to
deteriorate our health, and then we start to develop these health issues.
Lorilee Binstock 00:10:09
Wow, you know, I
manic experiencing was
so vital in my healing and understanding
trauma when I was first
seeking help in twenty twenty and residential treatment
Mandy Harvey 00:10:30
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:10:29
experiencing was a big part of it.
And so I'm able to kind of
understand that I obviously have my moments where I've
I I can't really think logically and rash
about what's actually happening in my brain, But
you know, I I think you know this. I I actually tour my Acl recently.
And I just got surgery a couple weeks ago.
And my husband has got as in a way
Mandy Harvey 00:10:56
Oh,
Lorilee Binstock 00:10:56
So I I feel like my stress level is
so heightened, and I feel like I have been so just
Mandy Harvey 00:11:02
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:11:05
so completely reactive with my children, and I realized
when I was... I just like, downstairs stairs, and we live in
you know... It's like three stories and Capitol Hill very narrow and
tall.
And my children I heard them on the third floor, screaming.
And, like, immediately, I just felt like everything just
ten up because, typically, if they're screaming, I'm like, okay.
Mandy Harvey 00:11:31
Yes.
Lorilee Binstock 00:11:30
I'll be there. But now, but I'm like, oh my gosh. It's gonna take me forever to get
the stairs right now. Like, I don't know what's gonna happen.
And I started getting stressed out and angry and upset. And I... You know, I just
imagine a wounded animal in the forest and just like
Mandy Harvey 00:11:43
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:11:45
being wounded and, like, just the sound of wrestling will like,
really heighten their awareness of what's what's happening.
Am I am I going to die right now? Because that's that's the feeling I was getting.
But, yes, no. I I just
but that just an understanding of
from so experiencing has been so vital.
For me,
and I wanna get into how you're working that into the programs that
you're providing for people, but I do wanted to I do wanna ask, like,
if you are comfortable in telling your personal story because I know for
for me, most of the... The my my
podcast in the trauma survivor driver's podcast. And
the majority of people, if not all of the people who come on really
their they're
gift of helping people from healing their own their own toe
Mandy Harvey 00:12:38
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:12:38
their own experiences and trauma that they have experienced. So
Mandy Harvey 00:12:41
Oh,
Lorilee Binstock 00:12:42
I was wondering if you were were comfortable
and talking about your own experience.
Mandy Harvey 00:12:44
Yeah. Absolutely.
Just similar with you, Semantic experiencing was a huge
modality of healing for me that really
got me to the other side. I feel like really kinda helped push me
the on other side of the healing pendulum, if you will.
But I always... I say that I was born into
I was born to a single mother
who was operating from her own
trauma
Lorilee Binstock 00:13:12
Mhmm.
Mandy Harvey 00:13:15
and she had men come in and out of our life.
And those men weren't the greatest, and were often very abusive.
Kidney
Lorilee Binstock 00:13:24
Yeah.
Mandy Harvey 00:13:25
So from a very young age, I experience
sexual abuse from these men
and from the age of five, to the age of fourteen,
and
my relationship with my mother was one that she was not home.
She's not around very often. She was single parent in most of the years and
she was working multiple jobs. So I became
I had to become very independent to just serve
five, and she was not available physically. Most of the time,
So I learned to just kinda take care of myself and live in this
very un unsettling.
Level. I'm loving if you will home.
And from a very early age learning to detach from my body.
Because so many things that happened to me, I just
didn't wanna feel anything and just learned to survive.
And what I learned, how I learned to survive was and
very important because I have sure I survived it. I've gotten to the other side of it.
But at the around the age of thirteen, she married
An individual who I was a police office
and was very abusive and manipulative.
Lorilee Binstock 00:14:42
Mm-mm.
Mandy Harvey 00:14:43
And took the abuse to a whole new level.
With me. And
would use his power to abuse
more and more and more.
And eventually, I
told someone in school, what was going on, I told them what was happening
in the sexual abuse I was experiencing from this individual.
And
social workers got involved, You know, the whole process and started to unravel
And I became
Very nervous about
talking to my mom about this because I had already talked to her once.
Lorilee Binstock 00:15:26
Mm-mm
Mandy Harvey 00:15:25
And told her what had been happening why he'd been doing and
she said, you know, all talk to him. I'll make sure
he, you know, he stopped that.
Lorilee Binstock 00:15:37
Yeah.
Mandy Harvey 00:15:37
And nothing changed. So when I talk to
show that day after speaking to a account school and then telling me
we will need to report this.
In social worker will get involved and most likely, he'll be arrested and
you know, all the things that happen as a result of that.
I got real nervous. And I know well, can I please, you know, touch my mom
before you make that call, I believe it was a Friday or or
a Thursday was towards the end of a week? And
my mom's pattern and I every day
does she at home from work because we go in this walk.
It was the only moment in our day that was semi my human.
Where we could tap into some sort of connection. And so at the end of that walk,
I shared with her, Hey. This is what happened at school today. I
shared this with counselor. They told me blah blah blah blah blah.
She
turned me with rage in her eyes.
And anger and said how could you do
destroy our family
Lorilee Binstock 00:16:38
Oh my gosh.
Mandy Harvey 00:16:41
How could you do that chance?
And it was in the moment.
That was a pivotal moment in my life because I took on the beliefs
that my intuition was wrong.
That
Lorilee Binstock 00:16:54
Yeah. Question.
Mandy Harvey 00:16:56
I didn't know how to make good decisions for myself in that.
And, you know, throughout my adult life, I
gave away all dungeon making power over my life because of that moment.
So it became a pivotal moment in my healing process, but
what happened after that was a couple days later,
That was reported. He was put into jail. He
was released out on bond. There was
restraining order. So we... My mom and I were essentially, you know,
kind of navigating this world. I was
send to the police I was picked up at school when day by a police
officer and interrogated for hours on end.
I think they were trying to break me or
Lorilee Binstock 00:17:43
No.
Mandy Harvey 00:17:45
if I was lying about what had... I had a experienced,
Of course, I was not, and that was also another traumatic moment having to
relive and talk through exactly what I'd happened to me
to two men in this room without a social worker.
Without any other support in the room it was very traumatic.
After that occurred a couple days later,
I came home from school and found suicide letter.
From both him and my mother. And
they were gone. No nowhere to be found.
So I was... I moved in with some family members.
And it was a a couple days later where they were found. They had taken their life.
Shop themselves.
Lorilee Binstock 00:18:34
Oh my goodness.
Mandy Harvey 00:18:35
Yeah.
And that became also
huge moment of evidence for me about my decision making
really wrong because it created such destruction. My
entire your life changed in a moment.
From
- No longer having a mother and, you know,
in the at the in the early years, I wanted her
even though she was or not,
emotionally available even though she was not neglect, even though she was alarming and abused
happened to me and putting me in these very unhealthy situations. I still wanted her.
Choose my mom.
And
you know, that's the interesting dynamics when we're children that I
attachment versus authenticity.
We attach to our caregivers regardless because we need that
need we need to feel like we belong some way
And that was really hard. It was very hard that you can imagine.
I start a therapy you started Em or Amd about
Yep.
Lorilee Binstock 00:19:37
In. Oh, wow.
Mandy Harvey 00:19:39
Right away to start to work on the guilt.
Because I felt like, I was the one that pulled the trigger
essentially, I took our lives.
Lorilee Binstock 00:19:48
Well,
Mandy Harvey 00:19:49
So I spent years I took my high school years
going through Ed,
and about my sophomore year, I started to get really just
done. I felt
I didn't wanna talk about it anymore. I didn't... My body started to really a
and hurt and all I could think about, which I just wanna see my mom again. And
I attempted to take my life when I was fifteen years old.
Lorilee Binstock 00:20:14
Mhmm
Mandy Harvey 00:20:13
I had a near death experience
I took and swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills one day at school.
Pass out.
The only thing I remember is waking up to this
beautiful, like, super warm
super loving golden
light, essentially.
Like, the most powerful feeling you could ever imagine and
time it by a thousand.
And I can remember thinking, oh my gosh. I've made it. I'm gonna get to see my mom again. I just
like, you waited
Lorilee Binstock 00:20:46
Oh my gosh.
Mandy Harvey 00:20:48
was because I had missed her so much.
And I remember thinking, oh, gosh.
Can't wait. To can't wait. When do I get to see her?
And I felt hand
I felt pressure on my chest, and I was being pushed back away.
And the only thing I heard was it's not your time.
And I welcome
Lorilee Binstock 00:21:13
Wow. That's powerful.
Mandy Harvey 00:21:15
it was so powerful. I woke up to the end of the
day. Kids were washing out of school, and I was like, what
happened.
Lorilee Binstock 00:21:25
Yeah
Mandy Harvey 00:21:26
I was just there. I was just there bike
what's wrong with me? Why can I just do this?
I made it home. I I gotta ride
home, and I started to loosen. I started to
have these really strange reactions to the sleep
being told in my body, and I was shaking. I was just
like, out of my mind and called nine eleven one, and they
put me into Icu for a couple of days.
And then admitted me to a mental institution for period of
time so that I could undergo some intense
treatment and was diagnosed with Ptsd.
Lorilee Binstock 00:22:09
mm-mm
Mandy Harvey 00:22:10
Put on some medication.
Some antidepressants, and that really became him intense
treatment and therapy for
a period of time, and then I continued my therapy
outside of that till the end of
high school. You know, I graduated high school, and I graduated
treatment and I was like, right. Life here I come.
But what I didn't realize was, you know, the layers and layers
and layer and layers of that experience.
I had gone through four years of therapy and thought, Okay. Like, I had to
touched it all. Right? Like, I'm good. But
as an adult, I started to become very upset.
With things being perfect. I started to
affect my outer world.
Like a magazine.
That you would see, you know, like, the cover of, like,
home and garden or, you know, the
cover or, you know, when you look at Crate barrel, and you see all of their
sing so perfectly, like that essentially was me
in my life, I
I perfected my outward appearance, my outward home, I was
you know, married with kids and everything was perfect, but on the inside,
I felt like I was crumbling and trying to hide it.
I kept pretending, but everything was fine, pretending that
all good. But really underneath, I was starting to
experience anxiety.
Major stress. And the more I felt just
heated within my body, the more I perfected and got obsessed.
With making everything exactly as it should be on the howard.
Were in the outward world.
In my twenties, in my late twenties, I started to have flashback
to my abuse as a child, and so I went through another round
multiple years of intense therapy.
In my late thirties
you know, all these years, I've been in and out them unfair of therapy, mostly top
therapy except for
in my teenage years, I went to em r. But in my late thirties,
all of a sudden in I started feeling
and
rage in my body and
the way I... I have an example of what this slips like
for me, and that was my daughter, my youngest.
Essentially beautiful she she's my teacher in
many ways.
Lorilee Binstock 00:24:40
Yes.
Mandy Harvey 00:24:42
She has this beautiful range of expressing emotion.
She can express bliss and joy.
And I'll go all the way to the other side with rage and anger.
And she just expresses so freely and
in the early year, she was about five around the time that I started having
this anger started to build up in my body.
It's very was very uncomfortable for me to watch her be so
angry at times. And I would try to... I would try to like,
Lorilee Binstock 00:25:17
Yeah.
Mandy Harvey 00:25:14
do everything I could to make sure she wasn't angry. Like, how can I clean her?
So I'd never have to hear her screaming because that literally sends
like pain ting throughout my entire body.
Lorilee Binstock 00:25:27
Mhmm.
Mandy Harvey 00:25:28
And there was one moment where
she was having this massive temper tantrum
and I, like, screaming and yelling and shots with
angry at me for... I'm sure the stupid is of things.
Lorilee Binstock 00:25:41
As children sometimes do.
Mandy Harvey 00:25:42
Yeah. Totally.
Lorilee Binstock 00:25:44
Yes.
Mandy Harvey 00:25:45
I'm sitting... I'm at the kitchen washing the dishes.
With my back to her, and I can steal this fire
rolling through my body from my feet
to my head, and it just hot, and it's burning, and I'm like,
oh my god. It she needs to shut up. I I
I was, like, what I'm trying to breathe? I'm trying to, like, okay. You know, I can.
I can't do anything. I just kinda like a letter her ride this out, but it was like, this
this movement was happening in my body, and I cannot control it in it
poof out through the top of my head.
Explosion I turned around, and I had this glass in my hand that I was washing and I
through and another feet, and I yelled to shot.
Showed up. And I remember seeing her face was like,
massive.
Shock and fear. Like, oh my god. Mom never yelled at me.
What to happen?
She's crying. I'm crying, and I'm like,
this isn't not who I am. Like, I don't want to be
like, throwing glasses of my children. Like, what
That's not me. That's not me.
And I knew something was going on. I just
could not understand or had the language I'd really understand it. So
that's what really became the catalyst for going and seeking soma thematic
experiencing therapy. And really,
learning how to unpack
the story and the energy and the emotions and all the parts
of me that were so stuck in my body from all the things
Lorilee Binstock 00:27:23
Wow.
Mandy Harvey 00:27:22
experienced as a child, and I took about a couple
you know, two and a half years. But then those two and a half years,
I healed more than I did in the last twenty years. Of
talk Therapy, and that's when I was like, oh gosh. Learning this about this connection
in our body and how our health is impacted.
How our relationships become impacted how we
the refreshing of our cells and all the ways really impacts
and impacts us at such a deep level.
That really for me was a light bulb. Like, oh my gosh.
People need to know him about that. I need to know about the the how
trauma at such an early age.
Can get stuck in our body.
And
you know, that stuck energy that stuck
part of us, wants to be healed and tries to be healed.
But
you know, over time as we don't really live that it shows up in healthy
shoes. I show that this relationship issues is shows up an and it just
for me with all the things.
Lorilee Binstock 00:28:29
Wow. That's power. You know, I've
Mandy Harvey 00:28:32
Right.
Lorilee Binstock 00:28:33
I found myself in your shoes with my children
I think it's hard if you if you've experienced trauma,
your your your children are their your best teachers
Mandy Harvey 00:28:44
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:28:43
sometimes it's hard to see what they're trying to show you.
Is really, really hard, and and I'm I'm realizing that, you know,
Mandy Harvey 00:28:54
Or.
Lorilee Binstock 00:28:52
I'm an internal family systems therapy.
Which is it's it's amazing. And and, you know, it's
it's it it is really hard to see my daughter because
in a way, she's like, a reflection of the things that I really hated about myself.
Right? Like, the, you know, the self loading of why, you know,
my parents would not let me feel.
Mandy Harvey 00:29:17
Yes.
Lorilee Binstock 00:29:15
God forbid. I cried, gone from head, like,
I showed motion and
you know? And I'm trying to give my children the space for them to
show their emotion
there times when I look at my daughter, and I'm like, oh my god. That's me That is
Mandy Harvey 00:29:34
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:29:33
- And this is not good. Because I have not
Mandy Harvey 00:29:36
Oh,
Lorilee Binstock 00:29:37
come to terms with that part of me yet.
Mandy Harvey 00:29:40
Yeah
Lorilee Binstock 00:29:40
But I'm I'm... It's the awareness.
Mandy Harvey 00:29:42
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:29:44
That I'm realizing.
So the... And, you know,
for me as well with the sad experiencing
for me, I was like, oh my gosh. Because you, I think it was
my third episode
of my podcast were right. We're at ninety three.
Mandy Harvey 00:30:02
Alright.
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:02
But my third episode of of my podcast I talked about schematic
Mandy Harvey 00:30:06
That
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:05
experiencing because I had never heard about traumatic experiencing
prior to my treatment.
And just not understand
Mandy Harvey 00:30:14
Oh,
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:14
you know, understanding that that energies
Mandy Harvey 00:30:18
It is
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:17
trapped in your body is I feel like it's everything because it's like well, whoa
Mandy Harvey 00:30:22
yeah
Or
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:21
then you can name it, and then you can understand it.
And then you can find the root to it.
Mandy Harvey 00:30:26
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:27
And and now what you're saying is
it's related to all these chronic health issues.
And you're right. I didn't really. Even even post
experience in free. I didn't even realize that
I used to go to the host to the every single year as of a child.
Mandy Harvey 00:30:44
And
yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:45
For for stomach issues. And they'd be like, oh, it's gastro arthritis.
Mandy Harvey 00:30:48
Mhmm.
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:50
And
after a while, like, wait a minute. There's this correlate, like,
I I've been dealing with the this this trauma from
childhood sexual abuse and
And then all of a sudden, once I started actually getting help,
I I haven't been to the hospital
sense for
Mandy Harvey 00:31:10
That's great.
Lorilee Binstock 00:31:11
for my gastro that I was there for a
for every single year,
at least once a year.
Mandy Harvey 00:31:16
Yes.
Lorilee Binstock 00:31:19
It's crazy.
Mandy Harvey 00:31:20
That's really... It. Yeah. It's similar. Like, I a diagnosed with
Ibs when I was a eighteen team,
and I always had adjusted issues always
And it makes sense now we hold a lot of emotion and
you know, At least I do. I hold a lot of emotion in my gut.
And what I started to really notice when I became
what I shouldn't become more aware of the idea that we
we can hold and press these emotions in our body and even these
experiences can get stuck in our body. What I started really noticing is when
I was still working in Corporate America. Is that I would have a stressful day
And by the end of the day, my stomach would be so bloated.
From
Lorilee Binstock 00:32:09
Mm-mm
Mandy Harvey 00:32:10
stress and emotion of, like, how... Like, again, that perfection
archive, I wanted to be perfect at my job.
And so I pushed myself and would take on more than I should never said no.
And worked long hours and
you know, tried to be this wonder woman who had the job and the career and
kids and, you know, just was killing it all places, but I
mate meant I held a lot of stress. And by the end of the day,
it would look like I was five months pregnant. My stomach would be
So so bloated
with emotion. I'd have to lay down in my bathroom and just like,
train slowly
you know, breathe and start to
you know, reconnect to my body again. And that was really the moment
I was like, oh my gosh. I'm holding so much stress.
In my body, but it not just the stress from the work.
It's it's the stress of here.
Of being chronically stressed, you know, from the moment.
Have was a child.
Lorilee Binstock 00:33:16
So how do... How did you heal or or work?
Mandy Harvey 00:33:18
Mhmm.
Lorilee Binstock 00:33:20
Under Ibm.
Mandy Harvey 00:33:21
Yeah.
In years, it's been a it's spinach a journey age like, with healing,
healing from my past, but it started with
it started with a semantic experiencing really
helping me understand the language of my nervous
in the language. Like, I did... I spent a lot of time really assessing
how my body felt in certain in different
experiences and around different people so that I could just start to understand
when I feel like I can't say no, my body feels this
play when I feel relaxed, my body feels this way.
So I became sort become this detective of, like,
the language of my nervous, how it was
interacting with my environment how was trying to cut
my attention. And
I started to work on healing those parts
within me using if and using thematic experiencing.
Lorilee Binstock 00:34:23
Mhmm.
Mandy Harvey 00:34:25
Healing those parts that help the pain in the wounds.
And working on integrating them back into my
whole body. And then I started working with a functional practitioner.
To care for the physical
aspects of that,
of that stress, which was my ibs.
I worked on
changing my diet, and my diet has changed
over the years, and I think there is no one size that's all for anybody
that's what I've learned through my own nutritional education as well in my own
experiences. You know, when I first started then, I was eating paleo, but
today, I don't eat paleo modified
form of it. But I just took out
just like... Just like with emotion, I would
I would cope with my
emotional swings in my stressful days with eating.
I was an emotional eater, and I would eat
the sugar and the carbs and
the treats and all the scenes. And when I started working on that,
it really started to shift the diet that I was able to maintain
that was helpful in healing for my body.
So I worked on that part that emotionally eater her her a lot.
And at first, I just you know, when I would feel stressed and wanna
eat, like, pink, waffles and syrup was the thing that I wanted to eat every day when I was
stressed.
So there would be moments where I'd wanna eat that, and I would let myself
eat it, but I'd invite that part that emotional either part in with me.
To join me. And I would, you know, just have this, like, internal dialogue with
part
and I listened to her about how stressed she was. And I learned that
I was a teenager, and I lost my mom
and went through all of that. That's really when that part showed up.
That's really when food became a
coping mechanism I became something that issues my myself.
Lorilee Binstock 00:36:29
Did it feel like it was a part that you could control a lot more?
Than anything else.
Mandy Harvey 00:36:35
When I started... Yeah. I mean, I I feel like
that part. Well, that purpose felt uncontrollable at first.
You know, when I was going through the emotional swings, I felt like that part
took over my life. You know, and I would just rav
anything and everything. And once I felt better then it felt like, I had more clarity and I could
live my life. But as I started to work on healing them,
card.
I felt like I had more control of the
situation. So, you know,
couple weeks or months into working with that part when I would get stressed
I'd noticed the need or desire to twenty emotionally eat.
And then I could place my hand on my heart, which is I always felt her in my chest.
Lorilee Binstock 00:37:21
Mhmm.
Mandy Harvey 00:37:22
I was... When I felt stressed and wanted to emotionally eat, my chest would feel
tight. So I placed my hand there and I tell, hey, honey. I know it were really strong.
Right now. Like, I get it. I know why you wanna emotionally heat.
But I also know that doesn't make us feel any better.
So let's go sit outside and watch the sunset or put our feet in the grass.
And that part really liked
Lorilee Binstock 00:37:45
Wow.
Mandy Harvey 00:37:45
as an alternative to eating. So I
switched out the
more healthy way of coping with my
stressful and stress and emotions.
And the more that I did that, the more that I stuck with that, when I changed my diet,
to accommodate the healing of my gut.
I was able to stick with it even during time of
stress because I had really done the work to
to heal that part to build a relationship with that part.
Major you.
Lorilee Binstock 00:38:18
Wow. That that's incredible. That's a great. I'd love internal family systems hair.
Mandy Harvey 00:38:24
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:38:23
In understanding your part.
But that that is that is a very beautiful way to look. I'm, like
seeing their thinking like yeah that that that that's that should be healed too.
That should be taken care of you.
Mandy Harvey 00:38:35
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:38:35
Well, will you
have a pro we have several programs. Right? For for
people who want to heal
themselves kind of
I I'm kind of. I'm curious to know
what are
what is what comes with these programs? What is it that you do?
From start to finish.
Mandy Harvey 00:38:57
Yeah. Absolutely.
I have
I have digital courses. I
have healing sessions. I have three month long. It
experiences. I even do hiking and healing.
Journeys, but the online courses is
I have a couple of them. There's is one about Burnout,
and learning how to rewire your body and get
your life back that you can start to enjoy it again.
And I have another one that's called
which is all about aligning to the success that you want to see in your life.
These are online courses that they come with
video training sessions for me. They come with workbook.
They come with audio meditations. They come with Thematic
experiencing practices. But these ones are more self obtained.
Lorilee Binstock 00:39:52
Mhmm.
Mandy Harvey 00:39:54
So that you can take your time going through them.
And, you know,
really anger into experiencing the content within them.
The anchored and success program is thirty days if you were to do a little bit every day.
So that's, like, thirty minutes a day where you're listening or watching a video.
Or listening to an audio, there might be some activity where you start to assess.
Your life in a variety of ways.
You would then have practices, like,
emotional nutrition recommendations,
mindful types of things, thematic experiencing, types of things,
ceiling trauma, you know, regulating emotions, nervous
regulation. All of my courses have like kind of
a mesh, if you will of all of those types topics.
100集单集
Manage episode 361112906 series 2836435
This is a LIVE replay of A Trauma Survivor Thriver's Podcast which aired Wednesday, April 19th, 2023 at 1130am ET on Fireside Chat.
Today's guest is Mandy Harvey, a global leader in trauma healing.
Lorilee Binstock 00:00:34
Welcome. I'm Loriee Binstock
And this is a trauma survivor, thriver's podcast.
Hello, everyone. My apologies
Thank you, for so much for joining me today live on FireSide chat where you can be a part of the conversation as my virtual on and time your home loyalty been stuck. Everyone has an opportunity to ask me or our guest
question if By requesting to hop on stage, you're sending a message in the chat box, I will try to get to you but I do I ask everyone be respectful. Today's guest is Mandy
rv she is a global leader in trauma healing.
Maybe, thank you so much for joining me today.
Mandy Harvey 00:03:20
You're welcome. Thank you for having me.
Lorilee Binstock 00:03:23
Well, I do want to talk
to... You know where I wanna talk to you about chronic illness
and trauma in that connection. We've had folks
talk a little bit about that. But you also have a
program and a protocol to actually solve it all. So
for for people who haven't heard anyway previous
podcast. Could you imagine
talk about the connection between chronic illness and trauma.
Mandy Harvey 00:03:51
Yeah. Absolutely. Well,
what's very interesting about chronic health issues
as we become adults once we start to develop them,
it's not in uncommon. I think we all know someone or more than one person who might
suffer with some type of chronic health issue or autoimmune condition.
It is a very common
experience. But there is a correlation between
developing that later in life and what we experience
in our early childhood. And
What's really interesting to mean
is that our protocols currently
to
care for our chronic health issues to care for our our autoimmune condition
are often focused on our diet, which is an important element. It's
focus on our lifestyle, which is also important and perhaps some medication
But the people that I work with off
and don't resolve their health issues or don't
feel a sense of relief with those three pillars.
And in my own hinge
of being a functional nutritional therapy practitioner.
And someone who is also experiencing practice
I started to really dive into the
under eigenvalues of why would I like get... Why would someone struggle
to improve their health when they're eating the right things.
When they are
moving their bodies in the right way, and they're feeling some relief, but they're really
not able to get over the edge of feeling
like they're able to thrive in their life. And as I started to, I need cover
and discover kind of the correlation between our early childhood experiences
in our house leader in life, that really showed to
help me see this many piece that we often don't.
We don't include in our protocols we're not told about it, and That was also the key
for myself
and it comes down to
what I like to talk about in terms of emotions in our
immune system. So emotions in general, they have one fundamental
function. And that really our emotions that you think about them is
to allow what is healthy, what is nourishing and what a supportive
for us, allowing my into our life and
Our emotions can also help us keep out what is
toxic and dangerous. They can become this filter for us. They can be
this
kind of this roadmap map if you will to help and and know which what
helpful for us and what isn't helpful. But
that is also the role of our immune system. Our immune system does exactly the
thing It's to keep out what's toxic and to let in what's nourishing
lighting in the nutrients of vitamins, the healthy bacteria,
and to keep out and destroy
what isn't healthy and a port of?
So the emotional in the immune system are exactly the same function.
So when we experience something traumatic in childhood, or even if we
well, meaning, parents, but they unfortunately just
didn't meet our needs as a child, And we learn that
we need to refresh our emotions or we learn to
hold shame about who we are and how we're
how
how we're feeling or we are taught that we are
you know, we believe are bad or wrong because of experiences we've had in childhood.
We start to refresh ourselves physically, and that can have an impact
on our immune system. So the more that we learn to
sorry emotions and the more that we impress ourselves just in general,
the more impact it has in our immune.
So when we going a little bit deeper in the
childhood when we have a traumatic experience in childhood or we have ongoing
traumatic experiences like abuse or an neglect or
emotionally unavailable.
Caretaker or anything in the realm of that.
We
our bodies go through a process to activate our
stress hormone. So say we experience them.
Fall our body goes to the process of activating our adrenals and activating our
hormones months
that process is meant to help us ready our body to
site a threat to run away from the threat or and
you know, get ourselves to safety but as the child
oftentimes, if we're experiencing abuse on a regular basis, we
or any of these instructions circumstances would... I just shared. We're not able to
Lorilee Binstock 00:08:48
Mhmm.
Mandy Harvey 00:08:47
run away or fight our
abuse in most cases. And so
the body cannot turn off those functions once it has started.
And what happens is one that trauma
as a child gets stuck in our body and in our psyche, but to that
stress of that trauma. And the
activation of our stress hormones.
To ready our body to fight or flee that process
start to impact our biology, and it
essentially, makes us more susceptible to getting stressed.
Faster. So if you think about we experience something like that in childhood, and as we
become an adult. We may... If we have not,
healed those experiences and we're we've learned to
of physically that stress response becomes faster and found
Lorilee Binstock 00:09:41
Mm-mm
Mandy Harvey 00:09:42
share and faster. We experience stress an adult
And eventually, our bodies just get out. We can only handle so much.
Before our bodies burn out, and then we start to develop
these chronic health issues because of the impact, that that's stressed.
Had had on our immune system and the
be rep refreshing of those emotions and the energy of those emotions in our body starts to
deteriorate our health, and then we start to develop these health issues.
Lorilee Binstock 00:10:09
Wow, you know, I
manic experiencing was
so vital in my healing and understanding
trauma when I was first
seeking help in twenty twenty and residential treatment
Mandy Harvey 00:10:30
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:10:29
experiencing was a big part of it.
And so I'm able to kind of
understand that I obviously have my moments where I've
I I can't really think logically and rash
about what's actually happening in my brain, But
you know, I I think you know this. I I actually tour my Acl recently.
And I just got surgery a couple weeks ago.
And my husband has got as in a way
Mandy Harvey 00:10:56
Oh,
Lorilee Binstock 00:10:56
So I I feel like my stress level is
so heightened, and I feel like I have been so just
Mandy Harvey 00:11:02
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:11:05
so completely reactive with my children, and I realized
when I was... I just like, downstairs stairs, and we live in
you know... It's like three stories and Capitol Hill very narrow and
tall.
And my children I heard them on the third floor, screaming.
And, like, immediately, I just felt like everything just
ten up because, typically, if they're screaming, I'm like, okay.
Mandy Harvey 00:11:31
Yes.
Lorilee Binstock 00:11:30
I'll be there. But now, but I'm like, oh my gosh. It's gonna take me forever to get
the stairs right now. Like, I don't know what's gonna happen.
And I started getting stressed out and angry and upset. And I... You know, I just
imagine a wounded animal in the forest and just like
Mandy Harvey 00:11:43
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:11:45
being wounded and, like, just the sound of wrestling will like,
really heighten their awareness of what's what's happening.
Am I am I going to die right now? Because that's that's the feeling I was getting.
But, yes, no. I I just
but that just an understanding of
from so experiencing has been so vital.
For me,
and I wanna get into how you're working that into the programs that
you're providing for people, but I do wanted to I do wanna ask, like,
if you are comfortable in telling your personal story because I know for
for me, most of the... The my my
podcast in the trauma survivor driver's podcast. And
the majority of people, if not all of the people who come on really
their they're
gift of helping people from healing their own their own toe
Mandy Harvey 00:12:38
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:12:38
their own experiences and trauma that they have experienced. So
Mandy Harvey 00:12:41
Oh,
Lorilee Binstock 00:12:42
I was wondering if you were were comfortable
and talking about your own experience.
Mandy Harvey 00:12:44
Yeah. Absolutely.
Just similar with you, Semantic experiencing was a huge
modality of healing for me that really
got me to the other side. I feel like really kinda helped push me
the on other side of the healing pendulum, if you will.
But I always... I say that I was born into
I was born to a single mother
who was operating from her own
trauma
Lorilee Binstock 00:13:12
Mhmm.
Mandy Harvey 00:13:15
and she had men come in and out of our life.
And those men weren't the greatest, and were often very abusive.
Kidney
Lorilee Binstock 00:13:24
Yeah.
Mandy Harvey 00:13:25
So from a very young age, I experience
sexual abuse from these men
and from the age of five, to the age of fourteen,
and
my relationship with my mother was one that she was not home.
She's not around very often. She was single parent in most of the years and
she was working multiple jobs. So I became
I had to become very independent to just serve
five, and she was not available physically. Most of the time,
So I learned to just kinda take care of myself and live in this
very un unsettling.
Level. I'm loving if you will home.
And from a very early age learning to detach from my body.
Because so many things that happened to me, I just
didn't wanna feel anything and just learned to survive.
And what I learned, how I learned to survive was and
very important because I have sure I survived it. I've gotten to the other side of it.
But at the around the age of thirteen, she married
An individual who I was a police office
and was very abusive and manipulative.
Lorilee Binstock 00:14:42
Mm-mm.
Mandy Harvey 00:14:43
And took the abuse to a whole new level.
With me. And
would use his power to abuse
more and more and more.
And eventually, I
told someone in school, what was going on, I told them what was happening
in the sexual abuse I was experiencing from this individual.
And
social workers got involved, You know, the whole process and started to unravel
And I became
Very nervous about
talking to my mom about this because I had already talked to her once.
Lorilee Binstock 00:15:26
Mm-mm
Mandy Harvey 00:15:25
And told her what had been happening why he'd been doing and
she said, you know, all talk to him. I'll make sure
he, you know, he stopped that.
Lorilee Binstock 00:15:37
Yeah.
Mandy Harvey 00:15:37
And nothing changed. So when I talk to
show that day after speaking to a account school and then telling me
we will need to report this.
In social worker will get involved and most likely, he'll be arrested and
you know, all the things that happen as a result of that.
I got real nervous. And I know well, can I please, you know, touch my mom
before you make that call, I believe it was a Friday or or
a Thursday was towards the end of a week? And
my mom's pattern and I every day
does she at home from work because we go in this walk.
It was the only moment in our day that was semi my human.
Where we could tap into some sort of connection. And so at the end of that walk,
I shared with her, Hey. This is what happened at school today. I
shared this with counselor. They told me blah blah blah blah blah.
She
turned me with rage in her eyes.
And anger and said how could you do
destroy our family
Lorilee Binstock 00:16:38
Oh my gosh.
Mandy Harvey 00:16:41
How could you do that chance?
And it was in the moment.
That was a pivotal moment in my life because I took on the beliefs
that my intuition was wrong.
That
Lorilee Binstock 00:16:54
Yeah. Question.
Mandy Harvey 00:16:56
I didn't know how to make good decisions for myself in that.
And, you know, throughout my adult life, I
gave away all dungeon making power over my life because of that moment.
So it became a pivotal moment in my healing process, but
what happened after that was a couple days later,
That was reported. He was put into jail. He
was released out on bond. There was
restraining order. So we... My mom and I were essentially, you know,
kind of navigating this world. I was
send to the police I was picked up at school when day by a police
officer and interrogated for hours on end.
I think they were trying to break me or
Lorilee Binstock 00:17:43
No.
Mandy Harvey 00:17:45
if I was lying about what had... I had a experienced,
Of course, I was not, and that was also another traumatic moment having to
relive and talk through exactly what I'd happened to me
to two men in this room without a social worker.
Without any other support in the room it was very traumatic.
After that occurred a couple days later,
I came home from school and found suicide letter.
From both him and my mother. And
they were gone. No nowhere to be found.
So I was... I moved in with some family members.
And it was a a couple days later where they were found. They had taken their life.
Shop themselves.
Lorilee Binstock 00:18:34
Oh my goodness.
Mandy Harvey 00:18:35
Yeah.
And that became also
huge moment of evidence for me about my decision making
really wrong because it created such destruction. My
entire your life changed in a moment.
From
- No longer having a mother and, you know,
in the at the in the early years, I wanted her
even though she was or not,
emotionally available even though she was not neglect, even though she was alarming and abused
happened to me and putting me in these very unhealthy situations. I still wanted her.
Choose my mom.
And
you know, that's the interesting dynamics when we're children that I
attachment versus authenticity.
We attach to our caregivers regardless because we need that
need we need to feel like we belong some way
And that was really hard. It was very hard that you can imagine.
I start a therapy you started Em or Amd about
Yep.
Lorilee Binstock 00:19:37
In. Oh, wow.
Mandy Harvey 00:19:39
Right away to start to work on the guilt.
Because I felt like, I was the one that pulled the trigger
essentially, I took our lives.
Lorilee Binstock 00:19:48
Well,
Mandy Harvey 00:19:49
So I spent years I took my high school years
going through Ed,
and about my sophomore year, I started to get really just
done. I felt
I didn't wanna talk about it anymore. I didn't... My body started to really a
and hurt and all I could think about, which I just wanna see my mom again. And
I attempted to take my life when I was fifteen years old.
Lorilee Binstock 00:20:14
Mhmm
Mandy Harvey 00:20:13
I had a near death experience
I took and swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills one day at school.
Pass out.
The only thing I remember is waking up to this
beautiful, like, super warm
super loving golden
light, essentially.
Like, the most powerful feeling you could ever imagine and
time it by a thousand.
And I can remember thinking, oh my gosh. I've made it. I'm gonna get to see my mom again. I just
like, you waited
Lorilee Binstock 00:20:46
Oh my gosh.
Mandy Harvey 00:20:48
was because I had missed her so much.
And I remember thinking, oh, gosh.
Can't wait. To can't wait. When do I get to see her?
And I felt hand
I felt pressure on my chest, and I was being pushed back away.
And the only thing I heard was it's not your time.
And I welcome
Lorilee Binstock 00:21:13
Wow. That's powerful.
Mandy Harvey 00:21:15
it was so powerful. I woke up to the end of the
day. Kids were washing out of school, and I was like, what
happened.
Lorilee Binstock 00:21:25
Yeah
Mandy Harvey 00:21:26
I was just there. I was just there bike
what's wrong with me? Why can I just do this?
I made it home. I I gotta ride
home, and I started to loosen. I started to
have these really strange reactions to the sleep
being told in my body, and I was shaking. I was just
like, out of my mind and called nine eleven one, and they
put me into Icu for a couple of days.
And then admitted me to a mental institution for period of
time so that I could undergo some intense
treatment and was diagnosed with Ptsd.
Lorilee Binstock 00:22:09
mm-mm
Mandy Harvey 00:22:10
Put on some medication.
Some antidepressants, and that really became him intense
treatment and therapy for
a period of time, and then I continued my therapy
outside of that till the end of
high school. You know, I graduated high school, and I graduated
treatment and I was like, right. Life here I come.
But what I didn't realize was, you know, the layers and layers
and layer and layers of that experience.
I had gone through four years of therapy and thought, Okay. Like, I had to
touched it all. Right? Like, I'm good. But
as an adult, I started to become very upset.
With things being perfect. I started to
affect my outer world.
Like a magazine.
That you would see, you know, like, the cover of, like,
home and garden or, you know, the
cover or, you know, when you look at Crate barrel, and you see all of their
sing so perfectly, like that essentially was me
in my life, I
I perfected my outward appearance, my outward home, I was
you know, married with kids and everything was perfect, but on the inside,
I felt like I was crumbling and trying to hide it.
I kept pretending, but everything was fine, pretending that
all good. But really underneath, I was starting to
experience anxiety.
Major stress. And the more I felt just
heated within my body, the more I perfected and got obsessed.
With making everything exactly as it should be on the howard.
Were in the outward world.
In my twenties, in my late twenties, I started to have flashback
to my abuse as a child, and so I went through another round
multiple years of intense therapy.
In my late thirties
you know, all these years, I've been in and out them unfair of therapy, mostly top
therapy except for
in my teenage years, I went to em r. But in my late thirties,
all of a sudden in I started feeling
and
rage in my body and
the way I... I have an example of what this slips like
for me, and that was my daughter, my youngest.
Essentially beautiful she she's my teacher in
many ways.
Lorilee Binstock 00:24:40
Yes.
Mandy Harvey 00:24:42
She has this beautiful range of expressing emotion.
She can express bliss and joy.
And I'll go all the way to the other side with rage and anger.
And she just expresses so freely and
in the early year, she was about five around the time that I started having
this anger started to build up in my body.
It's very was very uncomfortable for me to watch her be so
angry at times. And I would try to... I would try to like,
Lorilee Binstock 00:25:17
Yeah.
Mandy Harvey 00:25:14
do everything I could to make sure she wasn't angry. Like, how can I clean her?
So I'd never have to hear her screaming because that literally sends
like pain ting throughout my entire body.
Lorilee Binstock 00:25:27
Mhmm.
Mandy Harvey 00:25:28
And there was one moment where
she was having this massive temper tantrum
and I, like, screaming and yelling and shots with
angry at me for... I'm sure the stupid is of things.
Lorilee Binstock 00:25:41
As children sometimes do.
Mandy Harvey 00:25:42
Yeah. Totally.
Lorilee Binstock 00:25:44
Yes.
Mandy Harvey 00:25:45
I'm sitting... I'm at the kitchen washing the dishes.
With my back to her, and I can steal this fire
rolling through my body from my feet
to my head, and it just hot, and it's burning, and I'm like,
oh my god. It she needs to shut up. I I
I was, like, what I'm trying to breathe? I'm trying to, like, okay. You know, I can.
I can't do anything. I just kinda like a letter her ride this out, but it was like, this
this movement was happening in my body, and I cannot control it in it
poof out through the top of my head.
Explosion I turned around, and I had this glass in my hand that I was washing and I
through and another feet, and I yelled to shot.
Showed up. And I remember seeing her face was like,
massive.
Shock and fear. Like, oh my god. Mom never yelled at me.
What to happen?
She's crying. I'm crying, and I'm like,
this isn't not who I am. Like, I don't want to be
like, throwing glasses of my children. Like, what
That's not me. That's not me.
And I knew something was going on. I just
could not understand or had the language I'd really understand it. So
that's what really became the catalyst for going and seeking soma thematic
experiencing therapy. And really,
learning how to unpack
the story and the energy and the emotions and all the parts
of me that were so stuck in my body from all the things
Lorilee Binstock 00:27:23
Wow.
Mandy Harvey 00:27:22
experienced as a child, and I took about a couple
you know, two and a half years. But then those two and a half years,
I healed more than I did in the last twenty years. Of
talk Therapy, and that's when I was like, oh gosh. Learning this about this connection
in our body and how our health is impacted.
How our relationships become impacted how we
the refreshing of our cells and all the ways really impacts
and impacts us at such a deep level.
That really for me was a light bulb. Like, oh my gosh.
People need to know him about that. I need to know about the the how
trauma at such an early age.
Can get stuck in our body.
And
you know, that stuck energy that stuck
part of us, wants to be healed and tries to be healed.
But
you know, over time as we don't really live that it shows up in healthy
shoes. I show that this relationship issues is shows up an and it just
for me with all the things.
Lorilee Binstock 00:28:29
Wow. That's power. You know, I've
Mandy Harvey 00:28:32
Right.
Lorilee Binstock 00:28:33
I found myself in your shoes with my children
I think it's hard if you if you've experienced trauma,
your your your children are their your best teachers
Mandy Harvey 00:28:44
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:28:43
sometimes it's hard to see what they're trying to show you.
Is really, really hard, and and I'm I'm realizing that, you know,
Mandy Harvey 00:28:54
Or.
Lorilee Binstock 00:28:52
I'm an internal family systems therapy.
Which is it's it's amazing. And and, you know, it's
it's it it is really hard to see my daughter because
in a way, she's like, a reflection of the things that I really hated about myself.
Right? Like, the, you know, the self loading of why, you know,
my parents would not let me feel.
Mandy Harvey 00:29:17
Yes.
Lorilee Binstock 00:29:15
God forbid. I cried, gone from head, like,
I showed motion and
you know? And I'm trying to give my children the space for them to
show their emotion
there times when I look at my daughter, and I'm like, oh my god. That's me That is
Mandy Harvey 00:29:34
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:29:33
- And this is not good. Because I have not
Mandy Harvey 00:29:36
Oh,
Lorilee Binstock 00:29:37
come to terms with that part of me yet.
Mandy Harvey 00:29:40
Yeah
Lorilee Binstock 00:29:40
But I'm I'm... It's the awareness.
Mandy Harvey 00:29:42
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:29:44
That I'm realizing.
So the... And, you know,
for me as well with the sad experiencing
for me, I was like, oh my gosh. Because you, I think it was
my third episode
of my podcast were right. We're at ninety three.
Mandy Harvey 00:30:02
Alright.
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:02
But my third episode of of my podcast I talked about schematic
Mandy Harvey 00:30:06
That
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:05
experiencing because I had never heard about traumatic experiencing
prior to my treatment.
And just not understand
Mandy Harvey 00:30:14
Oh,
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:14
you know, understanding that that energies
Mandy Harvey 00:30:18
It is
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:17
trapped in your body is I feel like it's everything because it's like well, whoa
Mandy Harvey 00:30:22
yeah
Or
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:21
then you can name it, and then you can understand it.
And then you can find the root to it.
Mandy Harvey 00:30:26
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:27
And and now what you're saying is
it's related to all these chronic health issues.
And you're right. I didn't really. Even even post
experience in free. I didn't even realize that
I used to go to the host to the every single year as of a child.
Mandy Harvey 00:30:44
And
yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:45
For for stomach issues. And they'd be like, oh, it's gastro arthritis.
Mandy Harvey 00:30:48
Mhmm.
Lorilee Binstock 00:30:50
And
after a while, like, wait a minute. There's this correlate, like,
I I've been dealing with the this this trauma from
childhood sexual abuse and
And then all of a sudden, once I started actually getting help,
I I haven't been to the hospital
sense for
Mandy Harvey 00:31:10
That's great.
Lorilee Binstock 00:31:11
for my gastro that I was there for a
for every single year,
at least once a year.
Mandy Harvey 00:31:16
Yes.
Lorilee Binstock 00:31:19
It's crazy.
Mandy Harvey 00:31:20
That's really... It. Yeah. It's similar. Like, I a diagnosed with
Ibs when I was a eighteen team,
and I always had adjusted issues always
And it makes sense now we hold a lot of emotion and
you know, At least I do. I hold a lot of emotion in my gut.
And what I started to really notice when I became
what I shouldn't become more aware of the idea that we
we can hold and press these emotions in our body and even these
experiences can get stuck in our body. What I started really noticing is when
I was still working in Corporate America. Is that I would have a stressful day
And by the end of the day, my stomach would be so bloated.
From
Lorilee Binstock 00:32:09
Mm-mm
Mandy Harvey 00:32:10
stress and emotion of, like, how... Like, again, that perfection
archive, I wanted to be perfect at my job.
And so I pushed myself and would take on more than I should never said no.
And worked long hours and
you know, tried to be this wonder woman who had the job and the career and
kids and, you know, just was killing it all places, but I
mate meant I held a lot of stress. And by the end of the day,
it would look like I was five months pregnant. My stomach would be
So so bloated
with emotion. I'd have to lay down in my bathroom and just like,
train slowly
you know, breathe and start to
you know, reconnect to my body again. And that was really the moment
I was like, oh my gosh. I'm holding so much stress.
In my body, but it not just the stress from the work.
It's it's the stress of here.
Of being chronically stressed, you know, from the moment.
Have was a child.
Lorilee Binstock 00:33:16
So how do... How did you heal or or work?
Mandy Harvey 00:33:18
Mhmm.
Lorilee Binstock 00:33:20
Under Ibm.
Mandy Harvey 00:33:21
Yeah.
In years, it's been a it's spinach a journey age like, with healing,
healing from my past, but it started with
it started with a semantic experiencing really
helping me understand the language of my nervous
in the language. Like, I did... I spent a lot of time really assessing
how my body felt in certain in different
experiences and around different people so that I could just start to understand
when I feel like I can't say no, my body feels this
play when I feel relaxed, my body feels this way.
So I became sort become this detective of, like,
the language of my nervous, how it was
interacting with my environment how was trying to cut
my attention. And
I started to work on healing those parts
within me using if and using thematic experiencing.
Lorilee Binstock 00:34:23
Mhmm.
Mandy Harvey 00:34:25
Healing those parts that help the pain in the wounds.
And working on integrating them back into my
whole body. And then I started working with a functional practitioner.
To care for the physical
aspects of that,
of that stress, which was my ibs.
I worked on
changing my diet, and my diet has changed
over the years, and I think there is no one size that's all for anybody
that's what I've learned through my own nutritional education as well in my own
experiences. You know, when I first started then, I was eating paleo, but
today, I don't eat paleo modified
form of it. But I just took out
just like... Just like with emotion, I would
I would cope with my
emotional swings in my stressful days with eating.
I was an emotional eater, and I would eat
the sugar and the carbs and
the treats and all the scenes. And when I started working on that,
it really started to shift the diet that I was able to maintain
that was helpful in healing for my body.
So I worked on that part that emotionally eater her her a lot.
And at first, I just you know, when I would feel stressed and wanna
eat, like, pink, waffles and syrup was the thing that I wanted to eat every day when I was
stressed.
So there would be moments where I'd wanna eat that, and I would let myself
eat it, but I'd invite that part that emotional either part in with me.
To join me. And I would, you know, just have this, like, internal dialogue with
part
and I listened to her about how stressed she was. And I learned that
I was a teenager, and I lost my mom
and went through all of that. That's really when that part showed up.
That's really when food became a
coping mechanism I became something that issues my myself.
Lorilee Binstock 00:36:29
Did it feel like it was a part that you could control a lot more?
Than anything else.
Mandy Harvey 00:36:35
When I started... Yeah. I mean, I I feel like
that part. Well, that purpose felt uncontrollable at first.
You know, when I was going through the emotional swings, I felt like that part
took over my life. You know, and I would just rav
anything and everything. And once I felt better then it felt like, I had more clarity and I could
live my life. But as I started to work on healing them,
card.
I felt like I had more control of the
situation. So, you know,
couple weeks or months into working with that part when I would get stressed
I'd noticed the need or desire to twenty emotionally eat.
And then I could place my hand on my heart, which is I always felt her in my chest.
Lorilee Binstock 00:37:21
Mhmm.
Mandy Harvey 00:37:22
I was... When I felt stressed and wanted to emotionally eat, my chest would feel
tight. So I placed my hand there and I tell, hey, honey. I know it were really strong.
Right now. Like, I get it. I know why you wanna emotionally heat.
But I also know that doesn't make us feel any better.
So let's go sit outside and watch the sunset or put our feet in the grass.
And that part really liked
Lorilee Binstock 00:37:45
Wow.
Mandy Harvey 00:37:45
as an alternative to eating. So I
switched out the
more healthy way of coping with my
stressful and stress and emotions.
And the more that I did that, the more that I stuck with that, when I changed my diet,
to accommodate the healing of my gut.
I was able to stick with it even during time of
stress because I had really done the work to
to heal that part to build a relationship with that part.
Major you.
Lorilee Binstock 00:38:18
Wow. That that's incredible. That's a great. I'd love internal family systems hair.
Mandy Harvey 00:38:24
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:38:23
In understanding your part.
But that that is that is a very beautiful way to look. I'm, like
seeing their thinking like yeah that that that that's that should be healed too.
That should be taken care of you.
Mandy Harvey 00:38:35
Yeah.
Lorilee Binstock 00:38:35
Well, will you
have a pro we have several programs. Right? For for
people who want to heal
themselves kind of
I I'm kind of. I'm curious to know
what are
what is what comes with these programs? What is it that you do?
From start to finish.
Mandy Harvey 00:38:57
Yeah. Absolutely.
I have
I have digital courses. I
have healing sessions. I have three month long. It
experiences. I even do hiking and healing.
Journeys, but the online courses is
I have a couple of them. There's is one about Burnout,
and learning how to rewire your body and get
your life back that you can start to enjoy it again.
And I have another one that's called
which is all about aligning to the success that you want to see in your life.
These are online courses that they come with
video training sessions for me. They come with workbook.
They come with audio meditations. They come with Thematic
experiencing practices. But these ones are more self obtained.
Lorilee Binstock 00:39:52
Mhmm.
Mandy Harvey 00:39:54
So that you can take your time going through them.
And, you know,
really anger into experiencing the content within them.
The anchored and success program is thirty days if you were to do a little bit every day.
So that's, like, thirty minutes a day where you're listening or watching a video.
Or listening to an audio, there might be some activity where you start to assess.
Your life in a variety of ways.
You would then have practices, like,
emotional nutrition recommendations,
mindful types of things, thematic experiencing, types of things,
ceiling trauma, you know, regulating emotions, nervous
regulation. All of my courses have like kind of
a mesh, if you will of all of those types topics.
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