歸屬感Sense of Belonging

愛、生活、人生系列

歸屬感Sense of Belonging
歸屬感是人類與生俱來的欲望，我們希望成為比自己更大的群體的一部分，這種渴望非常原始，所以，我們會經常融入群體，尋求認同，藉此得到歸屬感。此外，追求安全感，也是人的本性。有些人需要存錢，才會有安全感，看到存款數字減少，會焦慮。有些人需要花錢，才有安全感，需要物質的刺激，來提醒自己的存在。有些人喜歡下班，立刻回家；有些人卻需要熱熱鬧鬧的一群人團聚。相較於安全感，歸屬感有更多的層面，歸屬感是讓自己成為某人或某環境的一部分，好比同學、團隊、教會、家庭等，進而，從中找到自我。安全感比較像是從外部尋求安定，而歸屬感則是從內在尋求認同；安全感依賴的是環境，而歸屬感需要的是心境。有時，兩者指的是同一件事，例如，有安全感的地方，容易讓人產生歸屬感；擁有歸屬感的人，更容易在陌生地方，找到安全感。其實，歸屬感真正的意義，是要我們全心全意，歸屬自己的情感，不需要配合誰，也不用屬於任何地方；每個人都有自己生命的輪廓，衷心地相信自己足夠完整就好，於是，有歸屬感的人，會好滿足，好幸福，感覺自己可以掌控一切，相信自己可以真正擁有。也許，我們只要做最真實的自己就好，可以勇於承擔責任，挑戰困難，可以相信自己，相信別人，可以選擇做正確的事，不貪圖玩樂、快速或方便，更可以選擇實踐自己的價值觀，而非光說不練。真正的歸屬感不是憑空而來，不是加入團體就能得到，也非融入群體、偽裝自己，或是為了不受傷害而違背原則，就能獲得。真正的歸屬感，是一種信賴，一種發自內心的喜悅，也是一種心靈的歸依。美食、美態、美居、美景、美的閱讀，及美的遊戲 (食衣住行育樂)，都是歸屬感。真正的歸屬感，是一種不急不徐的儀式，是堅持，是努力，是滿足，是幸福。
Our sense of belonging is an essential element on our path to individual fulfillment. The more we open up and share our desires and struggles, the more we realize our own individual dreams and aspirations. Then, we will comprehend the true meaning of sense of belonging. Human beings need to belong. We are social creatures, and we need to get the appreciation, attention, and validation from others. Surrounded by the sense of belonging, our existence, thus, gets confirmed, and we feel happy and fulfilled knowing there are others we can relate to and accept us, and get support. We feel like we are part of something bigger and matter to somebody else. And when we feel like this, we can get more inclined to take action and participate in various social activities that benefit us.
However, acquiring belongingness requires time and effort. We have to take time and action before owning to the sense of belonging. First of all, true belonging means others accept us as who we are. We should be comfortable with ourselves before trying to get along with others. Secondly, we quite know our strengths and weaknesses. We try our best to overcome any limiting beliefs. Thirdly, we take time and effort to insist on doing the right things. At last, we trust others and be patience when it comes to deal with things. In fact, belonging is a necessary ingredient for our performance and fulfillment. When we engage and bring our best selves to do different kinds of things, we feel a true sense of belonging. And there, definitely, is a mirrored sense of respect, acceptance, and empathy between us and those around us. Then when we feel that we belong, we feel supported and safe. The real sense of belonging does let us feel that we are all good at something. Further, the real sense of belonging lets us develop our beliefs, values, and goals, and also maintain our self-identity, self-esteem, continuity and distinctiveness. When we belong, we feel better, experience happiness, are more satisfied with life, care for others, are healthier and stronger physically and psychologically. Belonging equals happiness.

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