稍安勿躁，事緩則圓

愛、生活、人生系列

稍安勿躁，事緩則圓Stop Being Irritable, and Make Things Become Slower
Irritability can lead us to snap, bark, and chastise those around them.
Addressing the source of irritation is the way to combat irritability. Irritability is something we all experience, but what sets it apart from other emotional states is the extent to which it pollutes the emotional atmosphere around us. Indeed, our irritable mood can release negativity that negatively impact the entire office, household, or classroom. When we feel irritable, we feel on edge, grumpy, cranky, and sour. Our tolerance is lower, and we are much more likely to be bothered by any kinds of minor frustrations we ordinarily shrug off. The best way to reduce irritability is to figure out what’s making us irritable, and then address it. We often dismiss considering things that shouldn’t make us irritable even if they actually do. Simply acknowledging that something is making us irritable is often enough to take the edge off. We usually feel irritable about small-to-medium size annoyances. In this sense, we should take a few minutes to remind ourselves of the larger picture—the things that are going well in our life and the things for which we can be successful. We might find a quiet place to think things through, take a breath, take a break, listen to music, do meditation and yoga, and take a bath to release our irritability.
Feeling low is a part of all of our lives at some stage. Everyone feels upset, sad or disheartened from time to time. It does not always mean something is wrong. Feeling low is common after distressing events or major life changes, but sometimes periods of low mood happen for no obvious reason. We may feel tired, lacking confidence, frustrated, angry and worried in that periods of time. It’s important to address our irritability first. When we notice that we’re feeling annoyed with everything and everyone around us, acknowledge that we’re irritable. Sometimes, the source of irritability is obvious. At other times, we might just feel angry and frustrated without really knowing why. However, irritability, indeed, isn’t caused by anything external. It’s just a normal human experience to stem from something internal. When we’re working on a frustrating project, or when we’re in an environment that is increasing our stress level, for instance, the best thing we can do is to take a break. Let us think of our irritability as a sign that we’re running low on batteries. Taking a quick break might be all we need to charge our batteries again, so we can re-enter the situation feeling refreshed. When we’re dealing with an inconvenience, like a traffic jam, we might start thinking thoughts that fuel our irritability, and try to change that thoughts. When we catch ourselves dwelling on the unfairness of a situation, or thinking about how much we dislike something, reframe it. In fact, there are millions of cars on the road every day, and traffic jams are bound to happen. A little irritability may just be a sign that we need to create some lifestyle changes. If we can add a little more self-care into our daily routine, it all takes us to feel our best. Taking a few slow, deep breath can also calm our mind. We inhale slowly through our nose and exhale our breath to the air. It will make us feel much better.
At times of irritability and anxiety, we had better distance the thoughts that are making us anxious. We can think of something calm and serene, and slow down our mind. We, then, ask ourselves, “Am I unnecessarily worrying about the worst thing that can happen? When I have been stressed in the past, how have I managed? What are the things I can do to help myself and be positive?” Feeling lonely or sad is quite common. As a matter of fact, communication can help us to connect with family and friends.
It’s an irony of our modern lives that while technology is continually invented that saves us time, we use that time to do more and more things, and so our lives are more fast-paced and hectic than ever. Life moves at such a fast pace that it seems to pass us by before we can really enjoy it. A slower-paced life means making time to enjoy our days, instead of rushing off to work in a frenzy. It also means taking time to enjoy whatever we’re doing, to appreciate the outdoors, to actually focus on whoever we’re talking to or spending time with--instead of always being connected to an iPhone or laptop, and instead of always thinking about work tasks and emails. It means single-tasking rather than switching between a multitude of tasks and focusing on none of them.
Slowing down is a conscious choice, and not always an easy one, but it leads to a greater appreciation for life and a greater level of happiness. It’s hard to slow down when we are trying to do a million things. Instead, we make the conscious choice to do less. We really focus on what’s really important, what really needs to be done, and let go of the rest. It’s not enough to just slow down. Actually, we need to be mindful of whatever we’re doing at the moment. That means, when we find ourselves thinking about something we need to do, or something that’s already happened, or something that might happen, we gently bring ourselves back to the present moment. Being connected all the time means we’re subject to interruptions about information coming in. Furthermore, too often, we spend time with friends and family, or meet with colleagues, but we’re not really there with them. We talk to them but are distracted by devices. We are there, but our minds are on things we need to do. We listen, but we’re really thinking about ourselves and what we want to say. Indeed, we really need to spend a couple of time to connect with people, rather than just meeting with them. Besides, we also need to take the time to go outside, and really observe nature, take a deep breath of fresh air, enjoy the serenity of water and greenery. We try our best to enjoy the nature, eat slower and drive slower. Instead of cramming food down our throats as quickly as possible, we learn to eat slowly. Speedy driving is a pretty prevalent habit in our fast-paced world, but it’s also responsible for a lot of traffic accidents, stress, and wasted fuel. Instead, we make it a habit to slow down when we drive. We appreciate the surroundings, make it a peaceful time to contemplate our life, and the things we’re passing. Thus, driving will be more enjoyable, and much safer.
Moreover, life can be so much more enjoyable if we learn to have one simple habit at a time. For example, when washing dishes, instead of rushing through it as a boring chore to be finished quickly, we really feel the sensations of the water, the suds and the dishes. It can really be an enjoyable task if we learn to see it that way. The same applies to other chores, such as washing the car, sweeping, dusting, laundry, and anything we do now. This is related to being present. Whatever we’re doing, we are fully present, and also appreciate every aspect of it, and we will find the enjoyable aspects in life. When we concentrate on one thing at a time, we take time to carefully make it perfect, and enjoy the present moment. We stop being irritable, and make things become slower to perfection.

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