DetoxPod 157 : Elliot Aronow (Wearer of Many Figurative & Literal Hats)

Detoxicity: By Men, About Men, For Everyone

In this conversation, multi-hyphenate Elliot Aronow discusses his work in helping men advance spiritually, creatively, and sartorially. He highlights the problem of stereotyping men's work and the importance of breaking free from societal expectations. Elliot shares his personal journey, from his early interest in fashion to his career in media and music. He emphasizes the significance of taking initiative and making things happen, as well as the role of personal style in self-expression. Elliot also discusses the challenges he faced in his 30s and the importance of community and creative pursuits in personal growth. The conversation explores various themes related to masculinity and community-building. It touches on the subcultures of people with Staten Island roots, the need to widen the spectrum of masculine expression, and the misconceptions about men's work. The discussion also highlights the lack of empathy for men and the failure to speak to men on the progressive side. It explores the importance of creating an alternative to right-wing masculinity and motivating men without shame. The conversation emphasizes the value of male community, rediscovering unstructured time, and the need for intergenerational male relationships. It concludes with a discussion on the importance of taking the lead in building male community and the need for a constructive clubhouse.
Takeaways

• Stereotyping men's work is a significant problem that limits personal growth and self-discovery.
• Taking initiative and making things happen is crucial for personal and professional success.
• Personal style and fashion can be powerful tools for self-expression and building confidence.
• Navigating the dark night of the ego and facing personal challenges can lead to profound personal growth.
• Talk therapy alone may not be sufficient for personal transformation; creative pursuits and action are essential for manifesting change.
• Building a supportive community and having strong leadership are key factors in personal development. There are different subcultures of people with Staten Island roots, such as the Jiu-Jitsu community and colonic hydrotherapists.
• Men's work needs to widen its spectrum of expression to be more accessible and appealing to a broader audience.
• Misconceptions about men's work include the association with hating women or wilderness retreats, which can deter people from engaging in self-development.
• There is a lack of empathy for men, especially post-MeToo, which can lead to men feeling misunderstood and isolated.
• The progressive side has failed to speak to men effectively, leading some to seek validation and acceptance from right-wing ideologies.
• Creating an alternative to right-wing masculinity involves promoting a positive and inclusive definition of masculinity that does not demonize men.
• Motivating men without shame involves allowing them to be themselves and providing spaces for open and honest conversations.
• Building male community is essential for men's well-being and can be achieved through regular interactions and shared activities.
• Rediscovering unstructured time and engaging in vigorous nerditude can foster creativity, connection, and personal growth.
• Intergenerational male relationships are valuable for learning from different perspectives and experiences.
• Taking the lead in building male community requires individuals to step up and create spaces for connection and support.
• There is a need for a constructive clubhouse or salon-type event for men to gather, share ideas, and build relationships.
• Authenticity and unfocused writing can create a genuine and relatable connection with readers.