How to Say I'm Sorry - A Conversation with Dr. Jennifer Thomas

Faith Matters

In today’s episode, we’re talking with Dr. Jennifer Thomas, co-authored with Gary Chapman of The 5 Apology Languages: The Secret to Healthy Relationships. Dr. Thomas's work builds on the framework of the 5 Love Languages and offers a profound new lens for how we give and receive apologies. If you’ve ever felt like you’ve said “I’m sorry” but it didn’t quite land, or if you’ve been on the receiving end of an apology that didn’t feel satisfying, this conversation is going to hit home.

In this discussion Dr. Thomas talks about how often an apology can go unheard or feel insincere—not because you don’t mean it, but because you’re not speaking the other person’s “apology language.”Just like love, apologies aren’t one-size-fits-all. Her work work explores the psychology behind why some apologies fail to resonate, even when they seem heartfelt. Through extensive research, she and her co-author, Dr. Gary Chapman, identified five distinct “apology languages,” Each reflecting different emotional and cognitive needs that may need to be addressed for an apology to be effective.

This episode is full of practical advice on how to express a heartfelt apology that truly communicates "I'm sorry" in a way that others can receive and feel. It will help you recognize what you need. These tools and insights will provide a powerful path restoring connection and healing relationships.

We’re so excited to share this conversation with you, and we hope it sparks some of the same deep insights it did for us. And with that, let’s jump into our conversation with Dr. Jennifer Thomas.