274. Seek Strong Relationships from How to Become a Multiplying Christian

The Rob Skinner Podcast: Helping You Make This Life Count

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Today, you’ll learn one of the secrets that enables billionaires and fruitful Christians become even more productive by seeking strong relationships.

Transcript:

Nearly every day I go through my “Power Pack.” This is a collection of scriptures and quotes that fire me up, encourage me and challenge me to grow, get closer to God and have greater faith. I pulled one out the other day and it was a card on which I had written decisions made after a spiritual conference I went to. I don’t know which one it was, but it had to be at least ten years ago. It read:

1. Conference Decisions

a. Build a sharing habit

b. Build relationships with strong leaders

c. Build the church on small groups

d. Raise the standards and confront difficult situations directly

e. Concentrate on training leadership

i. Build a training program: Interviews

ii. Write book on small church planting

I can see how I followed through with a number of those decisions. I wrote a book on church planting, I developed a sharing habit, I have worked on training leadership with my young guns group and have forced myself to confront difficult situations directly.

However, of all of these, building relationships with strong leaders has probably done more to help me grow than all of the other ones.

Solomon wrote in Proverbs 13:20, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Aesop said, “A man is known by the company he keeps.” Jim Rohn said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” All of these maxims point to the same conclusion, you maximize or diminish your life based on the quality of your friends.

I can quickly point to those men who have made a powerful difference in my life through their friendship, example and advice, Dick Gee, Doug Baity, Ed Townsend, Preston Shepherd, Frank Kim and Bruce Williams. Their influence on my life transformed me from a worldly kid into a spiritual man. All of them shared their life and friendship with me. They mentored me and made time to walk with me, teach me and correct me at times. They were patient when I struggled and weren’t afraid to call me higher when I was coasting.

My nature is to remain isolated and to try to tackle things on my own. I’ve had to deliberately choose to allow people into my life so that I can “air out” my sin and weaknesses in an environment that fostered growth. It’s way to easy for me to tell myself that I have to do it all by myself and should be able to do it without outside support. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I’m reminded again of Solomon’s words in Ecclesiastes 4:5-6,

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

My pride and fear would often keep me from seeking friendships with men who were as strong or stronger than me in the areas I was looking to grow in. I had to realize that two are better than one. I need someone in my life who can pick me up when I fall down. My marriage is certainly one of those relationships, but that alone is not enough. I need a number of trusted friends who can help me be a multiplying disciple and “have a good return” for my labor.

I’ve been watching a series on TV called, “Undercover Billionaire.” They drop three well-known multi-millionaires into a city they are not familiar with. They give each contestant $100 cash, an old truck, a new name and identity, and a cell phone with no contacts in it. The challenge for each contestant is to take their $100 and multiply into a $1,000,000 business in 90 days. What I found most interesting and surprising about each of these three people is that the first thing they did was make friends with influential people in their new community. They build their business by building relationships with strong characters in their area. If I had been dropped off in the same challenge, it wouldn’t have been the first thing I focused on.

Jesus created a similar “reality show” challenge two thousand years ago when he sent his disciples off on the “limited commission” in Matthew 10 and Luke 10. The hidden and yet essential key to victory is found in this passage in Matthew 10, 9 “Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts— 10 no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff, for the worker is worth his keep. 11 Whatever town or village you enter, search there for some worthy person and stay at their house until you leave. 12 As you enter the home, give it your greeting. 13 If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. 14 If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. In Luke 10, Jesus echoes this direction by saying find a “man of peace.” They were told to find a worthy person, a quality friend and concentrate on building a relationship with them. Why? Because they would be able to reach far more people through that worthy persons network of relationships. Good things happen when we build relationships with strong leaders.

Take a look at your friendships around you. Step one is to determine if you have some good friendships. Don’t be like the man “all alone” with no one to help him up. If that describes you, it’s time to start looking around for at least one good friend.

Secondly, start building the number of spiritual, quality relationships. Ideally, you want five or more friends that you can turn to when tough times hit. You need people who can offer you advice, encourage you and keep you on track. Satan loves it when he can isolate someone and take them out like a lion takes out a wounded or young animal.

One reason I started the Rob Skinner Podcast was to build more relationships with strong leaders. By calling to interview my spiritual heroes I have been able to build relationships with people I respect and honor. I have learned from them and have grown from the relationship. The number of my friendships has grown exponentially especially during a time of isolation caused by the COVID pandemic.

I recently had dinner with Brock and Anne Roby, who lead a church in the San Francisco Bay Area. I asked them if they would be willing to have a discipling relationship with each other. They jumped at it. We talk every couple of weeks, encouraging each other and doing our best to call the best out of each other.

Let me leave you with some practical steps:

1. Repent of the pride and reject the fear that keeps you from building good friendships.

2. Stop listening to and making excuses for why you can’t be surrounded by good friends. The only thing stopping you is you and your empty rationalizations.

3. Realize that you deserve good friends and you have a lot to offer others.

4. What can you do to build your circle of friendships? How can you find a “worthy person?” Find a meetup, join a club, have someone over, start a podcast, contribute articles to an organization you enjoy. Get involved and find your worthy person.

5. Make a call this week and set up a time to have fun and start building a friendship. Text, call email but whatever you do, don’t let another week go by without asking for help