Episode 304 – Unstoppable Work-Life Balance Coach with Patti Oskvarek

Unstoppable Mindset

Meet our guest this time Patti Oskvarek who, like many, got her first job while in high school working at a Derry Queen. It wasn’t long before she became a manager. As Patti and I talk about her first managerial job and how the role of a manager has changed today Patti says that managers now are under so much more stress because they are required to do so much more with so much less support. As we talk Patti explains that as she progressed from working at the Derry Queen to increasingly more demanding positions within the banking industry she didn’t think much about nor did she have any real “Work-Life Balance”. She worked all day at the office and then came home to do more work at home. She did have a supportive husband, but even so the stress of not having balance in her life eventually caused her to have an ulcer. As Patti tells it, she finally retired in her 50s and began working toward and becoming a work-life balance coach and Reiki Master. Today she even is a host on two different podcasts. Patti and I talk quite a bit about the concepts of work-life balance, leadership and how a coach can help people attain the balance sometimes they don’t even know they want. We even talk a bit about just what a coach does and how he or she can help people who are willing to explore their own lives. I think you will enjoy this episode and come away with some new and updated ideas. About the Guest: Patti Oskvarek of Coaching for Inspiration with Patti. Patti is a Certified Professional Coach and Certified Master Coach specializing in Work-Life Balance and Leadership coaching, Reiki Master, and Podcaster. Patti inspires others to pursue their passions in life through their relationships, careers, business, and leadership development. She became a Coach and Reiki practitioner to help people follow their hearts, use their talents, and live purposeful, balanced, and fulfilling lives. With a unique approach to coaching, Patti has dedicated herself to helping others find passion, purpose, and confidence in all they do. Her theory is that to find business success and know how to find happiness in other areas of life and learn the true meaning of work-life balance for yourself. Patti is committed to helping managers, supervisors and others become better leaders and live more purposeful, balanced lives outside work. Ways to connect with Patti: Website: https://coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com/coaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachingforinsp Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachingforinsp Twitter: https://twitter.com/coachingforinsp LinkedIn: Coaching for Inspiration with Patti- https://www.linkedin.com/company/coaching-for-inspiration-with-patti YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLXTGfZ1hZqGaKJ24hfnyWA Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti Podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/4rVQIdCNrMoU3gRhZsvLt9?si=0GsSNkccQo-TuG6JZWHM3g Exploring Life and Work with Patti - From Chaos to Calm Podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/70FztukC0x4anAWdhrGyc0?si=VDVqhUz0Qq-_kK8clj0vRw About the Host: Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog. Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children’s Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association’s 2012 Hero Dog Awards. https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/ accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/ https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/ Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. You can also support our podcast through our tip jar https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/unstoppable-mindset . Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Transcription Notes: Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us. Michael Hingson ** 01:21 Well, hi and welcome to another edition of unstoppable mindset. Our guest today is Patti Oskvarek, and Patti is a person who specializes a lot in work life balance. She's a Reiki manager, our Master, and has a lot of information. I think that's going to be value of value to all of us. She is a coach that really works a lot in the whole area of work life balance. I'm really interested to hear a lot about that. I met Patti, as we have had a number of other guests come this way through podapalooza. This time it was the latest podapalooza in podapalooza 11, and it just seemed like Patti was a person we really needed to have an unstoppable mindset. And here we are. So Patti, I want to welcome you to the podcast, and thank you very much for being here. Patti Oskvarek ** 02:15 Oh, thank you for having me. Michael, this is great. It'll be Michael Hingson ** 02:19 fun. Yeah. Well, why don't we start, why don't you tell us a little bit kind of about the early Patti growing up and all that stuff. Patti Oskvarek ** 02:29 So growing up, I grew up in Tucson, Arizona, and Michael Hingson ** 02:34 I was an only child in the summer, yes, Patti Oskvarek ** 02:37 very hot. And I was an only child, so I was very shy during my times of growing up and through life. And my first job, I worked in a Dairy Queen, and when I turned 18, I became a manager, and that's kind of how I started with management. And throughout my life, pretty much have been a manager or supervisor. And in my life, I didn't have work life balance. Work always seemed to come first and everything else came second. And as you know, Michael, that's not always a good thing, having work come first instead of having a personal life as well. So I had a lot of regrets because I had put work above other things that were important. So I became a coach to help others in leadership and work life balance, so that they can learn from my example and I wish I had had a coach when I was in leadership. And I've learned a lot through my life about working 24/7, and then eventually, what if work is gone? What are you going to do in your life, and but I have a family. I have two adult children and a husband and a cat. I love my cat, and I love my family, and I have five grandchildren. So throughout my life, it's been wonderful, and I love my family, and I've learned through the years of really trying to incorporate some work life balance so that you can live life to the fullest. Michael Hingson ** 04:57 Well, tell me so how long have. Was it you were a manager of a Dairy Queen? What year was that? Patti Oskvarek ** 05:04 That was in the 80s. Okay, Michael Hingson ** 05:07 so what was it like managing a Dairy Queen in the 80s? And what I'm really curious about is, if you can make the comparison, what was it like then, as opposed to what it is now, you must have visited Dairy Queens of relatively recent times, maybe not, but I'm just curious if you can can observe or comment on what it was like then and how it differs now. Patti Oskvarek ** 05:33 Yes, so that was my first job, and it it was surprising, because most of the time I worked alone and didn't have really the interaction with the staff, other than, you know, between times of when they would come in and tell them what needs to be done and all that kind of stuff. So where I worked, it wasn't as busy in the winter time as it was in the summertime. In the summertime, I would work with the employees, but in the winter time, a lot of times I worked alone. So how is that different now? And the Dairy Queen that I worked at, all we had was ice cream, so that's why it was a lot different nowadays, you see how much different it is with, you know, the drive through and all the employees and and having all the different variety of products and services. Michael Hingson ** 06:40 You think it's tougher to be a manager today because of all that? I Patti Oskvarek ** 06:45 think so. I think you're under more stress and more responsibility Anya than it was in the past. Yeah and yeah. And then I moved on to banking, and then I moved on to government. So I had a variety of different different platforms that I worked on in different ways of doing things. Michael Hingson ** 07:10 Well, it it is interesting. I think there's a lot to be said for with the way things are going that management and managing is is more stressful. And I suspect that if you went further up in the corporate structure of Dairy Queen, or anywhere that again, you would see that the the environment is putting more stress on the typical Dairy Queen manager because of all of the things that you're you're talking about, and then, in general, in a sense, management is more stressful because you're expected to do more and with less, with less. Yeah, and I think that's really a very important point. It's doing more with less. And I'm not sure corporate always gets that, which, again, goes back to what you were talking about in terms of work, life balance and dealing with that. Well, when you left Dairy Queen, what did you exactly go do? Patti Oskvarek ** 08:10 I went into banking, and that was, yeah, and that was in the early 80s and 90s. And a lot of things happened throughout when I imagined that I was going to work for the bank for the rest of my life. That was my plan. Ever since I was a kid, I thought banking was where I wanted to go. So, you know, things happened in in the 80s and 90s with banking, it changed a lot. A lot of people were part time instead of full time, things were a lot different from when I started to when I left, and what it is today, I was actually somebody that would stand outside to get people to use the ATM and train them how to use it, and there was a lot of resistance at that time of using it, and now it's something that they use all the time. And as well as back then, you know, the technology wasn't like it is today, where you have an app. And so I started as a teller, and then I went to a branch operation supervisor in a very short time, and then at a young age, and I had employees that were older than me. And with the bank, you know, you worked a lot of hours. And I had a I had small children, so that was one of the reasons why I decided a friend of mine and a former supervisor of my manager, she had went to work for government, and she says, Patty, you should. Come to and I thought, Oh, that'll be a great way to have more balance in in my life and not working so many hours. So that's where I made the change, in the 90s, and I was fortunate enough to start working young and being able to retire in my 50s. So that was a good, good thing, but still, I struggled with the work life balance, putting work above other things that should have been important as well, like going to my children's baseball game or things like that that I couldn't do because I was working and taking vacations and things like that. I was putting things aside for work, and I was putting that pressure on myself. Michael Hingson ** 11:04 What was that doing to family? Patti Oskvarek ** 11:08 You know, I was fortunate that I had my husband. He, he would pick up the slack where I wasn't. But then, you know, I would be up at night, cleaning the house while the kids were asleep, I was still with, you know, I still came home at a decent hour, but I was always thinking about work and what needed to be done next, and those kind of things, what? Michael Hingson ** 11:36 Well, so when you so eventually, I know we're skipping forward, but again, the job that you took up in the 90s was, what? Again, banking, yeah, so it was all Patti Oskvarek ** 11:46 involved. And then I went, then I went into government, yeah, all right, so Michael Hingson ** 11:51 when you retired in the in your 50s, why did you do that? Patti Oskvarek ** 11:58 So I had that I could retire with 80 points, which means your age and your years of service. So I was able to do that, and I wanted to do something more. And that's where the coaching came in, is I went to school before I retired to prepare myself to get into coaching. So I had a plan, and that's what I teach people, is to have a plan of what you want to do in life and make it happen. So what got Michael Hingson ** 12:38 you to the point of being such a strong advocate for the whole concept of work, like balance was there? Was there one thing that made that happen? Patti Oskvarek ** 12:50 Yes, I think throughout my life, I realized that I needed to change my habits, and it affected my health. I had an ulcer in my 20 in my 30s. Excuse me, in my 30s, and that was a wake up call, because the doctor said I was in the hospital for five days, and the doctor said to me, you need to change something in your life that's causing you to have all of this stress, and that was my first wake up call of realizing I was putting so many other things in front of what I truly wanted in my life And what I wanted to do, and slowly changing it didn't happen overnight. It's still a struggle, and I want to help others so that they don't go through what I went through, and to help people realize there's more to life than work Michael Hingson ** 13:58 so there wasn't like a real crisis that caused you to suddenly have an epiphany and decide, work, life, balance and so on, and coaching was so important, but it's something that you eventually or gradually came to. Patti Oskvarek ** 14:13 Yes, I was at a networking meeting, and I was giving a presentation, and after the presentation, this lady came up to me because I was talking about leadership. This lady came up to me, and she goes, You should be a coach. And I, at that time, I didn't know what a coach was, didn't know what a life coach was. And and she goes, you're, you would be really, really good at being a life coach. So I started checking into what is that, and I realized, Oh, this is something that I could really help people. And I wish at the time I had somebody like that, a coach, a leadership coach, a work life balance coach, that could have helped me. Me throughout the certain challenges that I had in my career and in my life. So as I was learning about coaching, I felt this is really what I want to do. I want to help others as well as myself. I learned a lot through the coaching process and learning about coaching, it's, it's such an excellent thing to have in your life. What Michael Hingson ** 15:34 was the process that you went through to become a coach? What? How did you learn? Or, what did you learn? How did it all kind of come about? Patti Oskvarek ** 15:44 So this person that I knew that was an acquaintance of mine, she knew a business coach, and she put me in contact with her, and I asked her a lot of questions about coaching and how the process works. How? How do I be able to do this? And I was still working full time, and she put me, she suggested that I go to the international coaching Federation, I see f website and look for coaching schools. So that's what I did. I found a coaching school that was after hours or that worked with my schedule, so I could work during the day and get coaching training in the evenings or before work. So it was really flexible, and that's how I started on my journey of becoming certified as a coach. And there would be, sometimes I'd be five o'clock in the morning, I'd be doing my coaching class or things like that, or it'd be after seven o'clock in the morning, and the in the first coaching school that I went to was center for coaching certification, and then later on, when I got my master coaching, I went to world Coach Institute. So both of them were schools that were for people all over the world. So it had various hours that you could do your coaching certification, which worked for me at that time on my life. Michael Hingson ** 17:38 So it was online. Patti Oskvarek ** 17:40 Well, one was online, and we one was where it was on phone, and we would meet that way on the phone and do it that way as as well as as well as online. So there was different ways of doing it. It wasn't as during that time, the on online zoom wasn't popular as it is now. Michael Hingson ** 18:16 Yeah, needless to say, that changed a lot, of course, during the pandemic. So when did all this happen? What? What year was this that you started coaching? Patti Oskvarek ** 18:28 So, 2015 Okay, when I started? And, yeah, so it's been a while. That's That's why it wasn't as like today, where you do the Zoom calls and things like that, right? Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 18:45 yeah. So a lot it was a lot more back in in those days, it was more by phone or in person, of course, with another option, yeah. Where did Reiki into it? Enter into it? Patti Oskvarek ** 18:59 Reiki came into it because my husband and I had went to send out Sedona, and I had a friend that was a Reiki Master, so I used to go to her to help me, you know, to relieve stress and all of those things to relax. And I told my husband, why don't you go have a Reiki session? And he loved it. He kept asking me for like, a year and a half Patty, you need to learn how to do this. And he was my biggest person that really, wanted me to do Reiki, and that's how I got into Reiki. Was my friend that I knew, and then with my husband, because he wanted me to do Reiki on him. And so incorporating Reiki, it helps you relax. It's energy healing. It helps the body heal as well. Because. Because you're in a meditative state, and it really helps clients, because they're under so much stress that it helps relax them and stop their mind from running, you know, continuously, and they're able to come up with solutions, or just have their body relax and heal from all the stress that they're under, and that's how I incorporate Reiki into my coaching. Tell me Michael Hingson ** 20:30 a little bit about how Reiki works, or what you do, if you would. Okay, Patti Oskvarek ** 20:34 so Reiki, I I hover my hands over over the people's body, and I tell them to relax and just let go, and the energy flows through me into them. And some people can see colors. Some people can actually feel the heat coming onto their body. Everybody's different, and each session is different, but some people feel nothing. But it doesn't mean that the Reiki is not working, and even if it's 15 minutes, you can feel the difference. People feel so calm and relaxed and just feel relief from the Reiki sessions. Michael Hingson ** 21:25 So is Reiki something that you mainly need to do in person? Is it something that you can do in some way virtually today? Yes, Patti Oskvarek ** 21:36 yes, I do Reiki virtually. And what I do is I have one client that I do FaceTime with. I have another that, you know, zoom, and we meet, and either on FaceTime or zoom, I've even done Reiki off of pictures onto to my clients, and they can actually feel the Reiki going through their body. You don't have to do it. You don't have to do it in person. You can do it virtually, Michael Hingson ** 22:17 which is kind of fascinating, and it's great that you can do that and still have a good, strong impact on people. So how do you work that into or integrate that into the other coaching that you do? Patti Oskvarek ** 22:35 So for for me, I will talk about, you know, there's, I have different things. I have Reiki. They can sign up for Reiki. They can sign up for leadership coaching, work life, balance coaching. I use affirmations with them too, so they they can schedule me for what they would like if they want Reiki, if they want coaching. Michael Hingson ** 23:04 So they're somewhat different, yeah, Patti Oskvarek ** 23:08 but with Reiki, it really helps if you're struggling with something going on in your life and you just want you just need to relax a lot of times, some ideas come up, or solutions come up as well, just like coaching with asking questions and going down deep into the situation, the client always has the solution. They just need to get there to have that solution come up for them Michael Hingson ** 23:44 well, so you you certainly bring a lot of skills and offer a lot of opportunity in doing all this, which is really kind of cool. Do you find that sometimes you can integrate Reiki into your leadership coaching or some of the other things that you do in terms of you use that to get people to relax and be more open. Or does that happen? Patti Oskvarek ** 24:12 Yes, yes. So you can do the 15 minute Reiki session and then go into a coaching session, because they're relaxed, they feel good, they're ready to open up and be able to look at things maybe a little differently than They were in their stress mode. Michael Hingson ** 24:40 Okay? Which, which certainly kind of makes sense. Do you think that you're now really doing what you were meant to do? Is this really your purpose in life? Do you think Patti Oskvarek ** 24:54 I feel it is i feel that i. So it helps people, and it helps people become better leaders, better people in general, because of the fact that they're taking time for themselves, as well as learning skills and learning how to deal with things in different positive ways, and it helps them figure out how to handle things better, because they're less stressed and more open To making positive changes within themselves and to help manage things in a in a better way than they were before. Michael Hingson ** 25:49 Do you encounter people when you first start who are looking for a coach or whatever, but when you start to talk about work life balance, they resist it and say, Oh no, I'm really fine. And that you you figure out ways to open them up and get them to consider new ideas. Patti Oskvarek ** 26:08 Yes, a lot of times, you know, people don't believe in work life balance. And what work life balance is, to me, is you find business and personal success, you must know how to find happiness in other areas of your life and learn the true meaning of work life balance, what may be work life balance for me, will be Totally different. For you, we each have different life stages, goals and likes and aspirations and work life balance is a continuous thing that you do continuously. It's finding what you want in your life and what you don't want in your life and incorporating ways to get the things that you do want in life so that you feel good in your living a purposeful, balanced life outside of work. Michael Hingson ** 27:13 We've been talking a lot about work life balance. Maybe what we really ought to do, though, is define it a little bit. So really, what is work life balance. Patti Oskvarek ** 27:22 So work, life balance is what really means you want in life. So say that you want to spend more time with your children, or you want to spend more time at home or things like that. Balance isn't this perfect wheel. It's what is your priority or what you want. A lot of people that work, 24/7, they have no friends, they have nothing but work. So it's incorporating, okay, what do I want in my life. Do I want a hobby? Do I want to go on vacation? What do I want in my life, and how can I achieve it, and then incorporating that into your life so that you have something more than work? Michael Hingson ** 28:17 What do you do with the person who just says, Well, I really enjoy just working 24/7 or working all the time, but I don't need any of the other stuff. Patti Oskvarek ** 28:27 Well, then I'm not the coach for them, right? And but I'll talk to them, and we'll, we'll see why that is, or how they feel, but if they're not willing to want to have anything more in their life than work, then that's not I'm not the coach for them. Unless they want to be a better leader, then I'll help them with those skill sets. Michael Hingson ** 29:02 With but does that. When you start to talk about leadership and so on, are you then able to work back into the discussion ever the whole concept of work life balance, so that they understand work is great, but you will, but you're not going to become your best leader if you don't spend some time doing other things or relaxing or learning about leadership, which you can't do when you're just supposedly leading people or working, yeah, right. Patti Oskvarek ** 29:31 I think it's all about relationship and communication. Once they get to know you, once you you're coaching them, you can work those other things into the relationship. It's all about getting to know them, then getting to know you, and to help ask the right questions to get them to a place where they'll be open to work, life balance and. That does happen when you build relationships with others and that they know, like and trust you, and they start to become open to looking at things a little differently, especially when you start asking questions about, what do they want in life? What are they missing in life? Those kind of things to really open up. Oh, there is more to life than just work. Michael Hingson ** 30:28 Maybe we should also approach it from the other standpoint. What to you, does work life imbalance mean? So Patti Oskvarek ** 30:36 work life imbalance is when you have an unmanageable workload and deadlines and emails and texts and productive meetings that spill over to your personal life, which causes you overwhelm and also your employees overlap well and just working through those tasks and how to delegate and time management and things like that to help with the imbalance. And that happens a lot. People take on more and don't ask for help, and teaching those skills on how to ask for help so that things can be more manageable. Michael Hingson ** 31:20 How would you define what it really means to be a leader? That's probably a relevant discussion to have when we talk about leadership coaching and we talk about people leading other people. What is a leader? Patti Oskvarek ** 31:33 Well, a good leader, yeah, a good leader, to me, is someone that learns from their mistakes and use tools that enhance them, such as journaling or sitting in self reflection, and invite input from their employees and from others to come up with solutions and new ideas. A good leader listens with compassion and understanding and assists whenever possible, and is willing to stand out and be part of the solution so that they can help their goals and be very compassionate and listen to your employees, find out what's going on, build a relationship of trust. That is what a good leader is. To me, Michael Hingson ** 32:21 trust is a very, extremely vitally important part of the process, and we oftentimes forget or just aren't really willing to deal with trust. One of the things that I say often about dogs is that dogs love unconditionally, and I think that is true, but dogs don't trust unconditionally. But the difference between a dog and a person, typically speaking, is the dogs are, at least, generally speaking, unless some incredible trauma happened to them, dogs are are open to trust and open to trusting, and you have to earn their trust, and they have to earn your trust. I think there's, there's nothing better than a two way trusting relationship between person and dog when that really happens. And I know that I when working with guide dogs, it's all about developing a trust. And I think it takes a good year to truly develop the trusting relationship. But trust is an extremely important part of it, and if you don't develop that, you'll never be able to to lead or or truly influence what is, what is going on in your life and and others. Patti Oskvarek ** 33:40 Oh, I love that. I definitely agree. And if you make a mistake, say sorry and explain what happened in really opening up the communication with the person that you made the mistake with and learn from those mistakes. That's the most important thing. Reflect on it. What could I have done differently? And always keep that in mind when you're making decisions, really think it out. And there are times when you can't, and I understand that, but you're doing the best that you can, and you learn every day from those life lessons to be a better manager, a better leader, a better person, a better parent, a better spouse, all of those things. Each day you learn something new, and you continue on to do the best you can and to continue to be compassionate and empathetic to others. One of Michael Hingson ** 34:48 the things that I would say about leadership and leading is that leaders have to work at really work at understanding the 10. Balance of the people who work for them or who they lead, and the part of the reason for that is there may very well be times that someone else is better suited to take the lead in a particular situation, and the good leader knows when to allow that person to excel and lead and take control, to deal with whatever comes along, and then the leader who is overall responsible can can then step back in when necessary. But Good leaders know when to give up leadership to those who are better talented and better suited for a particular situation than they Oh, Patti Oskvarek ** 35:43 I definitely agree with that. It's so important to know who to give tasks to and not to micromanage. And what I found in leadership is they'll come up with some great ways to do things that you never thought of and to praise them for that it's really important to give people the chance to learn and expand and grow, and that's what a leader does. They help people see things about themselves that they didn't see within themselves, and Michael Hingson ** 36:29 help them bring that gift out. Yes, I once attended a seminar conducted by an organization. It was a leadership seminar, and the person running it was long term president of the organization, and he asked a question on one night, and well, one night, the Saturday Night of the seminar, he said, What is the most important thing that he is president and All of us should be doing in the organization, and people talked a lot about the vision and the mission and other things like that. And he finally said, but that's not the most important thing. The most important thing that we have to do is look for the next president and leader of the organization, and His ego was such that he was willing to recognize that the time would come that he would need to retire and that someone else did need to take the reins of the organization, and that, in fact, did happen, But I thought it was a very profound statement on his part to say the most important thing we could be doing is looking for the next long term leader of the organization, because otherwise the organization's not going to survive. Patti Oskvarek ** 37:53 Yes, that's so true, and helping your staff learn new things and to train them in a variety of things. And even in your position, does good for you, does good for them and does good for the organization. I always, I always trained my staff that if I left, and that's what I did, is they could, they could run everything without me there, and that's so important. Michael Hingson ** 38:30 One of my philosophies when I was running a sales organization and being a sales manager and so on is I always said to employees, I'm not here to boss you around. I hired you because you convinced me that you could sell the product. But what you and I and it's an individual thing with each employee, what you and I need to do is to figure out how I can add value to what you do and enhance what you do to make you more successful. And not everyone got that Patti Oskvarek ** 39:04 right. Yeah, it's very important, and that's very important, to learn how to communicate with each staff member. You're going to communicate differently with each staff member because they're different individuals, and they think differently, and they have different wants and needs. In being a good leader, you figure that out. There's going to be some people that want to move up, and there's going to be some people that just want to stay in the same job, but you help expand them in in them grow in the way they want to help in the company. Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 39:46 yeah, and, and some people just want to stay in the job. They don't have the aspiration to become boss or whatever, and that's okay, but they certainly still have good talents that you want. To be able to help expand and integrate into the organization, right? Patti Oskvarek ** 40:07 And and giving them new things to do and try, really opens up for them to feel successful and to figure out, oh, maybe this is what I want to do. Everyone's a leader. Even the people that don't want to be a leader, they're a leader in some way of what talents they have and how they show those talents, and how they work, and things like that. And a lot of people don't recognize that. Michael Hingson ** 40:38 Tell me if you would something about your style as a coach, I think every coach and every person has different styles of doing things. So what's your style? Patti Oskvarek ** 40:46 Well, as we talked about before, I'm unique in my leadership and work life balance coaching, because I incorporate Reiki and affirmations during my coaching session, and I love helping others find their passion and their purpose and the confidence and all that they do. And I coach the whole person, whether it's work and personal life, because both of them affect each other, and that's my unique coaching. Because when I start coaching somebody, we we first begin with one thing, and then eventually we figure out there's more that that's uncovered of what they really, truly want coaching on. Michael Hingson ** 41:35 So as a as a coach, what is it you really do? I mean by that what really is the purpose of a coach when they're in when they're interacting with someone? So Patti Oskvarek ** 41:48 a coach asks questions to help the person solve whatever they're wanting to solve, and by those questions, the person being coached has the answers and solutions, and they develop those solutions. As you ask those questions, it opens up things that they never thought about, and really comes to what is really going on and what they really want, and what they really want to achieve, and having an action plan to do it. If I just tell somebody, oh, this is the way you should do it, people aren't going to do it. They have to come up with that action plan within themselves to really invest in it and really want to do it, and that's where a coach comes in. Say, you have a struggle with an employee and you really don't know what to do, and just talking to somebody about it is so important because a lot of times, managers and supervisors and middle management don't have anybody to talk to. They're being squeezed from the top and the bottom right, and they feel like they have nobody to really share what's going on and at home, your your your spouse or your loved ones don't want to hear it, right? So a coach helps open up that communication and to come up with solutions to what that situation is, and to also be there to listen to listen to the person everybody wants to be heard. Lot Michael Hingson ** 43:44 of truth to that. And one of the things that I read when I was studying up on on coaching and so on, was that very thing, you don't even necessarily have to have the answer, even though you think, Well, you may or may not even think you do, but you don't need to know the answer, at least initially, but it is all about asking questions and getting your client to explore Yes, and that is such a cool thing, and it is something that is as valuable in coaching as it is in teaching or Whatever you do, it's really important to get people to explore and figure things out for themselves. And you can guide but you can't give people the answers. It never works, right? Patti Oskvarek ** 44:33 And when they come up with what they're going to do, or how they're going to approach the situation, or even practice how they're going to deliver it with your coach, it's much more successful because you really want to do it Michael Hingson ** 44:51 well. Coaching has certainly gotten a lot more popular over the past, oh, 10 to 20 years. It certainly isn't something that we. Used to hear a lot about when you were back at Dairy Queen and all that coaching wasn't something that people talked about, much less work life balance. So we've, we've come a long way. I would think, Patti Oskvarek ** 45:14 yes, we have. Like I said, when I first heard of coaching, I didn't know what it was. Michael Hingson ** 45:22 It's a growing industry, and for people who do it and do it well, it's a it's a very successful industry, and I'm sure that you would say it's financially successful, but even more important, it's successful because you are rewarded when you see your clients succeed and become better than they were. Can you share any kind of stories of some of someone you coached and kind of where they started and where they ended up being a whole lot better than they were? You don't need to obviously mention names or anything, but just curious, if you have a story that comes to mind, yeah. Patti Oskvarek ** 45:59 Okay, let me so there's a client that he wants work life balance, and he also wants to write a book. So we worked on incorporating action to be able to find the time to write the book, and to continue to write the book, and be motivated about writing the book because he has something important to share with the world, and to keep that up, and to not let go of that dream and to work through those fears of failing not to write the book or complete the book. So that's one way of incorporating work life balance into something that you want to achieve, and that's what I worked with him on. He's continually writing his book, and when he and I help motivate him and help him continue to know that that's something important for him that he wants to do and complete. So that's kind of a situation with the work life balance is okay? How am I going to write this book and get it completed by the time the deadline and all of those things? So it's incorporating action and actually following through with it and making sure that the book is being completed. Michael Hingson ** 47:41 It's not the easiest thing in the world to write a book, but on the other hand, I think that most everyone has stories to tell. They may not know how to write a book, but they probably have the contents of a book inside of them somewhere. Patti Oskvarek ** 47:59 I definitely agree, and it's it was working through some of the fears of what had happened in the past, of not being able to finish the book, so getting past those fears, and getting past everything, and being dedicated to time management and all the things of getting and writing that book. Michael Hingson ** 48:23 So is he still working on it, or has he written his book? Yeah, he's Patti Oskvarek ** 48:27 still working on it. It's a current client. But I wanted to kind of give an example of how you work, work, life balance into something else that you want to Michael Hingson ** 48:36 achieve. How's the book coming along? Good. He's Patti Oskvarek ** 48:40 really motivated, and he's spending time each day writing the book, so it's coming along. Michael Hingson ** 48:48 That's exciting. Any idea when, or does he have a goal as to when he wants to have it completed? Patti Oskvarek ** 48:55 He wants to have it completed by next year. Okay, so he's on the right track. It's writing all of his ideas and writing it, and then you got to go through the other stuff that's after it, as you know, yeah, Michael Hingson ** 49:13 have you written a book? Patti Oskvarek ** 49:15 I have been in a collaboration of a book. I've wrote a chapter. I haven't wrote a full, long book, but I do write blogs. Well, Michael Hingson ** 49:28 maybe that will happen someday, but the fact that you written a chapter and you're collaborating on a book certainly adds value and helps too. Yes, it does. So how does I think? Again, this is something we've kind of gone over a lot of this. But how does coaching overall help people in the workplace and in their in their individual lives? And when should people look for a coach? Patti Oskvarek ** 49:55 Good question. So coaching is really. Good for individuals who want to achieve something but don't really know how to get there or need a little help getting there, and we're there to listen and ask questions and get you to where you want to be. Everybody can use a coach, even coaches need coaches, because they help you achieve things that you never thought were possible and dreams come true. Michael Hingson ** 50:34 And I've actually talked to several coaches who have made that very same point, even coaches need coaches, and the value is, of course, both sides learn when that happens. Yes, Patti Oskvarek ** 50:47 it, it's the most wonderful thing that's ever come into my life. Michael Hingson ** 50:54 So do you have a coach? I do? I do in addition to your husband? Yes, Patti Oskvarek ** 51:02 my children, well, Michael Hingson ** 51:04 there's that too. Yeah, your cat, yeah, well, actually, your cat's your boss. 51:10 But yes, Michael Hingson ** 51:13 well, so you so where are you located? Patti Oskvarek ** 51:18 I'm in Arizona. You're Michael Hingson ** 51:19 in Arizona. But you do? You coach all over the world, or mainly around Arizona or what? Patti Oskvarek ** 51:26 Yeah, I coach virtually, so all over the world. I take clients from all over the world. Yes, Michael Hingson ** 51:34 pretty exciting, yes. Well, if people want to get a hold of you and want to explore working with you and having you help them or whatever. How do they do that? And where do they go? Patti Oskvarek ** 51:47 They go to my website, which is coaching for inspiration with patti.com and Patti spell, P, A, T, T, Michael Hingson ** 51:54 I say that one more time coaching, Patti Oskvarek ** 51:57 coaching for inspiration with patty.com and Patti is spelled, P, A, T, T, I Okay. Michael Hingson ** 52:08 And is there anything that they should specifically look for when they go there? Or how do they start? Patti Oskvarek ** 52:14 Okay, so I have my about page, I have my coaching page, I have just my blog. Everything's on my website. So if you want to schedule coaching with me or Reiki with me, you just go to the coaching page or the Reiki page. Michael Hingson ** 52:37 Now you do other things, like podcasts, don't you? Yes, Patti Oskvarek ** 52:41 I have two podcasts. One is called building better relationships at home and at work with Angela and Patti. And Angela is my co host, Angela ambrosia and and then I have a five minute or so podcast, mini podcast called Exploring life and work with Patti. And I talk about managers and supervisors situations in their work life, in their home life, and it's called Exploring life and work with Patti, from chaos to calm. Michael Hingson ** 53:19 And where can people find the podcasts Patti Oskvarek ** 53:22 on Spotify, or any of the listening platforms? And I'm starting to put them on YouTube, on my YouTube channel. Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 53:32 I started doing that with unstoppable mindset in 2022 and although still the majority of people listen to the podcast. There are people who like to watch the YouTube podcast as well. So we do that. Yes, we, we accommodate our sighted friends. Patti Oskvarek ** 53:56 Yes, yeah, I'm I'm still in the beginning process of putting all my episodes for both onto my YouTube channel, but that's one of my goals, is to successfully do that as well. So I have a few on there, still working on it. Michael Hingson ** 54:15 Well, I want to thank you for being here with us for this hour. This has been very enjoyable and a lot of fun, and I thought it would be, and I'm really glad that we had a chance to do it. And you know, if you ever want to come back, you're always welcome. If you have more things that you want to talk about, we'd love to have you come back and chat with us some more. I think it would be a lot of fun, but I really am grateful that you came, and I'm very grateful that all of you listen to us out there today. We really value your input, so please let us know what you thought of our podcast. I'm sure Patty would like to hear please go visit her at coaching for inspiration with patty.com but. I'd like to hear from you, and you can email me. It's easy. It's Michael H I M, I C, H, A, E, L, H i at accessibe, A, C, C, E, S, S i b, e.com, or go to our podcast page, which is w, w, w, dot Michael hingson.com/podcast, Michael Hinkson is spelled M, I C, H, I N, G, s, o, n, so Michael hinkson.com/podcast, we'd love to hear from you. Love your thoughts and please, wherever you're listening to us, give us a five star rating. We value that a lot. We hope that you'll like us well enough to do a five star rating. But we do want to hear your thoughts and Patty for you and for all of you listening, if any of you know of anyone else who ought to be a guest on our podcast, on unstoppable mindset, we'd love to hear from you. Let us know. We're always looking for guests. We will respond, and we'll take your advice very seriously and probably draft your guests to or your ideas to come on as guests on the podcast. So once again, though, Patty, I want to thank you for being here. This has been incredibly enjoyable, and I'm really glad that we had the opportunity to do it. Thank you. Patti Oskvarek ** 56:09 Thank you, Michael, for having **Michael Hingson ** 56:16 You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you'll join us again next week, and in future weeks for upcoming episodes. To subscribe to our podcast and to learn about upcoming episodes, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com slash podcast. Michael Hingson is spelled m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. While you're on the site., please use the form there to recommend people who we ought to interview in upcoming editions of the show. And also, we ask you and urge you to invite your friends to join us in the future. If you know of any one or any organization needing a speaker for an event, please email me at speaker at Michael hingson.com. I appreciate it very much. To learn more about the concept of blinded by fear, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com forward slash blinded by fear and while you're there, feel free to pick up a copy of my free eBook entitled blinded by fear. The unstoppable mindset podcast is provided by access cast an initiative of accessiBe and is sponsored by accessiBe. Please visit www.accessibe.com . AccessiBe is spelled a c c e s s i b e. There you can learn all about how you can make your website inclusive for all persons with disabilities and how you can help make the internet fully inclusive by 2025. Thanks again for Listening. Please come back and visit us again next week.