#1 - How Empty is Your Nest? (Part 1) - Mixed Feelings Stirred Up by the Empty Nest

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How Empty is Your Nest? (Part 1) - Mixed Feelings Stirred Up by the Empty Nest
How Empty is Your Nest? (Part 2) - Changing Relationships

FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript

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Mixed Feelings Stirred up by the Empty Nest

Guests: Barbara Rainey and Susan Yates

From the series: How Empty Is Your Nest? (Day 1 of 2)

Air date: August 1, 2016

Bob: There was a moment in Susan Yates’ life when, as she looked at her empty nest, she started to think, “What’s my purpose anymore?”

Susan: I remember the day after Libby’s wedding—she was the last to marry—going up to the girls’ room that they’d grown up in / that they had shared their whole life. As I stood in the room, I looked around at the walls, and there were lines where the pictures had hung. There were pieces of little scraps of paper and, as I looked at these bare walls, I noticed that the closet door was ajar.

On the floor of the closet I saw a rumpled, old, blue prom dress. It seemed out of place—it was all alone / it was not needed any more. It, in a way, was out of style. As I looked at that prom dress, I thought, “That’s just how I feel.”

1:00

Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Monday, August 1st. Our host is the President of FamilyLife®, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We’ll look today at the realities that begin to set in as the nest starts to empty out. Stay tuned.

And welcome to FamilyLife Today. Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition. I’m just sitting here, doing the math. What’s it been? It’s been more than a decade, now, since you guys became empty nesters?

Barbara: That’s right. [Laughter] Are you going to—

Bob: Are you still trying to figure it out? [Laughter] You’re kind of silent there!

Dennis: I told you—

Barbara: I guess I’m a little slow on the math. [Laughter]

Dennis: No; that’s not so. No; I’m just trying to realize when it was when you and I finally determined we were empty nesters. [Laughter]

Bob: So there was this process, you’re saying?

Dennis: I think there was. I think it took us two or three years to come out of—how many years of childbearing and child rearing?

Barbara: I don’t know—a lot.

Dennis: Twenty-eight, I think.

Barbara: I think so.

Dennis: I think over twenty-eight years.

2:00

Barbara: I think so. It doesn’t happen automatically.

Dennis: No; I mean, it was—

Barbara: It was a transition.

Dennis: It was all “Hands on deck!” raising children. It took us awhile to get out of the mindset and to finally realize: “You know what? We can kind of enjoy each other now and focus on one another.” It hadn’t been that we weren’t doing that before; but when you’re tending to children, there’s no question—they drain you.

Bob: Our listeners are obviously aware that your wife, Barbara Rainey, is joining us today. Good to have you here.

Barbara: Thank you, Bob.

Bob: We are going to be hearing a message that you and your friend, Susan Yates, did, talking about empty nest issues. But I need to start by saying we got a very nice note from one of our FamilyLife Today donors, who wrote to say: “I’ve been reading Barbara’s empty nest book. I was encouraged to hear about your daughter, who rebelled, to find out that we are not alone. Barbara is so right—we just need to choose our words carefully and to pray, pray, pray. God is faithful and He cares about our children more than we do. Thank you.”

3:00

I imagine you’ve heard from a lot of folks, who have read the book, who have written you personally to say, “Thanks for capturing in this book what we’ve been living through and couldn’t put words to.”

Barbara: Yes; we’ve had great feedback from women who’ve read the book because they understand, by reading it, that we get it—because we’ve been there and we’ve felt those things—and we’re trying to help them know that they’re not alone.

Dennis: When Barbara and Susan wrote the book, they didn’t offer a “pie in the sky” type of picture of the empty nest. They painted it—flaws, blemishes, warts, and all—because it’s a process that isn’t necessarily neat and tidy as you raise children who become adults.

What this lady is referring to there, Bob, is—she just appreciates somebody being authentic and real. I just want to say to this donor / this partner in ministry:
“Thank you for being a part of this ministry.” You know, I was thinking, when you read that Bob—that David, when he went to war, had his mighty men.

Bob: Right.

4:00

Dennis: Well, we have a group that supports this broadcast and the ministries of FamilyLife. They’re not just mighty men—they’re mighty men and mighty women.

Barbara: Yes.

Dennis: And they’re mighty because they care about, I believe, the oldest institution in the world / the most powerful institution in the world. They’re investing in a ministry that’s bringing good to marriages and families and bringing hope to people in a culture that, frankly, is trying to undermine and do evil to families. I just want to say, “Thanks,” to those of you who are donors to FamilyLife—you’re needed, you’re appreciated, and God bless you and your legacy.

Bob: Yes; I agree—“Thanks.”

Barbara, you and your co-author, Susan Yates, had an opportunity to speak to a number of women—I think it was in Dallas; right?

Barbara: That’s right.

Bob: You spoke on the subject of the empty nest. This was a number of months ago, but we’re going to give our listeners an opportunity to hear what you and Susan shared with those women.

5:00

We’ll just dive right in. Here are Barbara Rainey and Susan Yates, talking about the issues women face as they face the empty nest.

[Recording]

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