Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to people pleasing and ignoring your own needs

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

#Fitness #Self-Improvement #Mental Health #Renata Ortega #Podcasting Education

22:42

We are here recording live at Medallia Experience at the Wynn in Las Vegas, and have been seeing and hearing some amazing things about how AI can enhance the customer experience as well as enable teams at organizations to create more meaningful connections with customers. Today we’re going to talk about how AI can help to create better experiences for customers before, during, and after their interactions. To help me discuss this topic, I’d like to welcome Fabrice Martin, Chief Product Officer at Medallia. RESOURCES Medallia: https://www.medallia.com Catch the future of e-commerce at eTail Boston, August 11-14, 2025. Register now: https://bit.ly/etailboston and use code PARTNER20 for 20% off for retailers and brands Don't Miss MAICON 2025, October 14-16 in Cleveland - the event bringing together the brights minds and leading voices in AI. Use Code AGILE150 for $150 off registration. Go here to register: https://bit.ly/agile150 Connect with Greg on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gregkihlstrom Don't miss a thing: get the latest episodes, sign up for our newsletter and more: https://www.theagilebrand.show Check out The Agile Brand Guide website with articles, insights, and Martechipedia, the wiki for marketing technology: https://www.agilebrandguide.com The Agile Brand podcast is brought to you by TEKsystems. Learn more here: https://www.teksystems.com/versionnextnow The Agile Brand is produced by Missing Link—a Latina-owned strategy-driven, creatively fueled production co-op. From ideation to creation, they craft human connections through intelligent, engaging and informative content. https://www.missinglink.company…

大约1年之前 9:51

MP3•单集首页

Episode 18 - Introduction to people pleasing and ignoring your own needs

Do you overcommit to activities or responsibilities that others ask of you? Do you ever find yourself saying yes to everything or struggling to ever say the word no to others? Maybe you often find that you are saying yes to work or personal commitments, despite having too much of a work or personal load already. Maybe you end up regretting saying yes and over-committing yourself. Or, perhaps you look back and realize that you are never taking care of your own needs because you have been so focused on pleasing others. If so, you may be experiencing People Pleasing as a Trauma Response.

So what exactly is people pleasing?

People pleasing is when a person constantly strives to please others, a people pleaser chronically over-commits to activities and responsibilities and, people pleasers have a great deal of trouble setting boundaries.

People pleasing can be a trauma response, this is a response that is motivated by fear.

Support the show

Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback.
I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support
You can reach me here:
Website
Facebook
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Until the next time - warmly yours,
Renata

31集单集

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to people pleasing and ignoring your own needs

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

published 大约1年之前

MP3•单集首页

Episode 18 - Introduction to people pleasing and ignoring your own needs

So what exactly is people pleasing?

People pleasing can be a trauma response, this is a response that is motivated by fear.

Support the show

31集单集

#Fitness #Self-Improvement #Mental Health #Renata Ortega #Podcasting Education

所有剧集

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

1
Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Breaking the Cycle of Self-harm Caused by Trauma 9:46

6 hours之前9:46

9:46

Episode 31 Title: Breaking the Cycle of Self-Harm Caused by Trauma Before we begin today’s episode, I want to give a gentle content warning. We’ll be talking about self-harm and eating disorders—topics that can be very sensitive and triggering for some listeners. Please take care of yourself while listening. If at any point you need to pause or come back later, that’s okay. Do what feels right for you. This space is about compassion and healing. Let’s begin. Today’s episode covers a topic that is often kept in the shadows: self-harm as a response to trauma—and more importantly, how to break the cycle. If you’re here because you’ve struggled with self-harm or love someone who does, I want to first say—you are not alone. This is a space free of shame and full of honesty, compassion, and possibility. The pain is real, and so is the hope. Like in every episode, I’ll share part of my story, and then walk you through real, practical steps to help you move from survival into healing. Let’s Begin with the Why: Why Trauma Can Lead to Self-Harm For many of us, trauma doesn’t just go away once the danger has passed. Instead, it lingers in our bodies and minds. We look fine on the outside, but internally we’re doing everything we can to survive. Sometimes, the only way we know how to cope is through behaviors that give us a false sense of control—like self-harm. Self-harm can look different for everyone. For some, it’s physical injury. For others, like in my case, it’s more hidden. My self-harm showed up through restrictive eating and overexercising—behaviors that no one questioned, but that were chipping away at me from the inside. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Breaking Free from Negative Generational Cycles – A Three-Step Process 9:13

9天之前9:13

9:13

Episode 30 | Breaking Free from Negative Generational Cycles – A Three-Step Process A few weeks ago I polled my audience asking if hearing more about my personal story or if hearing about how to break free from negative generational cycles would be more helpful, and due to an overwhelming result I will be focusing today’s episode on how to break free. Thank you to everyone who voted! Generational cycles—whether it’s unhealthy relationships, self-sabotage, abandonment issues, overworking as a trauma response, or even an inability to ask for help—can have a grip on us without us even realizing it. Many of us were born into patterns that were already set long before we took our first breath. But the good news? Cycles can be broken. You can break them. Today, I’m going to share a three-step process to help you break free from negative generational cycles so that you can begin the journey toward healing, growth, and change. This process is based on real lived experiences, research, and the work I’ve done in my own life. Before we dive in, I want to acknowledge that this work is not about blame. It’s about awareness, accountability, and action. It’s about understanding where these patterns come from, recognizing their impact, and making an intentional choice to do something different. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to the Flop Response - the Fifth "F" of the Five "F"'s of the Trauma Response 7:57

16天之前7:57

7:57

Episode 29: Understanding the Flop Response to Trauma Hello and welcome back to the podcast. If you’ve been following along, you know that we are diving deep into the Five F’s of Trauma Response. In the last episodes, we explored Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn—how they develop, how they show up in daily life, and what we can do to manage them. Today, we’re moving on to the final response: Flop. The flop response is one of the least discussed but one of the most important to understand. Unlike the other responses, which involve action in some form, the flop response is about complete shutdown. If you’ve ever felt utterly drained, collapsed under pressure, or found yourself unable to take action when faced with stress, this episode is for you. Let’s break down what the flop response really is, how it manifests in daily life, and most importantly, how we can learn to work with it and regain a sense of empowerment. What is the Flop Response? The flop response occurs when the brain perceives a threat and determines that neither fighting, fleeing, nor appeasing the threat is an option. Instead, the nervous system causes the body and mind to shut down completely as a last-resort survival mechanism. This is similar to an animal playing dead to avoid further harm. For trauma survivors, this response can become deeply ingrained, making it difficult to take action, make decisions, or even feel connected to reality. It can create feelings of helplessness, powerlessness, and dissociation. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

1
Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to the Fawn Response - the second "F" of the five "F"'s of Trauma Response 7:51

23天之前7:51

7:51

Episode 28: Understanding the Fawn Response to Trauma Hello and welcome back to the podcast. If you’ve been following along, you know that we are diving deep into the Five F’s of Trauma Response. In the last episodes, we explored Fight, Flight, and Freeze—how they develop, how they show up in daily life, and what we can do to manage them. Today, we’re moving on to the fourth response: Fawn. The fawn response is often overlooked because it disguises itself as kindness, helpfulness, and being accommodating. But beneath the surface, it’s a survival mechanism driven by fear. If you’ve ever struggled with setting boundaries, prioritized other people’s needs over your own, or felt like your worth was tied to how much you do for others, this episode is for you. Let’s break down what the fawn response really is, how it manifests in daily life, and most importantly, how we can learn to shift out of it and reclaim our sense of self. What is the Fawn Response? The fawn response occurs when the brain perceives danger and determines that appeasing the threat is the safest way to survive. Instead of fighting, fleeing, or freezing, someone in a fawn state will prioritize keeping the peace—often at their own expense. Fawning can develop in childhood, particularly in environments where expressing needs, opinions, or emotions led to conflict, neglect, or rejection. As adults, those with a dominant fawn response may find themselves in relationships or workplaces where they overextend themselves, suppress their true feelings, and struggle with self-worth. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to the Freeze Response - the third "F" of the five "F"'s of Trauma Response 8:36

30天之前8:36

8:36

Episode 27: Understanding the Freeze Response to Trauma Hello and welcome back to the Cycle Breaker and Change Maker podcast. If you’ve been following along, you know that we are diving deep into the Five F’s of Trauma Response. In the last episodes, we explored the Fight and Flight responses—how they develop, how they show up in daily life, and what we can do to manage them. Today, we’re moving on to the third response: Freeze. The freeze response is often the least understood of the trauma responses. While fight and flight involve action, freeze is about inaction. It’s a survival instinct that shuts the body and mind down in response to overwhelming stress. If you’ve ever felt paralyzed in a stressful situation, struggled to make decisions under pressure, or dissociated from your surroundings, you may be experiencing the freeze response. Let’s break down what the freeze response really is, how it manifests in daily life, and most importantly, how we can work with it rather than feel stuck in it. What is the Freeze Response? The freeze response occurs when the brain perceives a threat and determines that neither fighting nor fleeing is possible. Instead, it chooses a third option: shutting down. This is an ancient survival mechanism that allows animals—and humans—to remain still and unnoticed when danger is near. For trauma survivors, the freeze response can become deeply ingrained, causing them to feel stuck, unable to take action, and disconnected from their emotions or environment. It can create a sense of helplessness and even make people feel like they are watching their life from the outside. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to the Flight Response - the second "F" of the five "F"'s of Trauma Response 7:48

5 weeks之前7:48

7:48

Episode 26: Understanding the Flight Response to Trauma Hello and welcome back to the Cycle Breaker and Change Maker podcast. If you’ve been following along, you know that we are diving deep into the Five F’s of Trauma Response. Last time, we explored the Fight response—what it looks like, why it develops, and how to manage it. Today, we’re moving on to the second response: Flight. The flight response is often associated with running away from danger, but it’s not just about physically escaping. It’s also about mentally escaping, avoiding discomfort, and staying perpetually busy to outrun feelings of anxiety or past trauma. If you find yourself constantly on the go, avoiding confrontation, or struggling with stillness, this episode is for you. Let’s break down what the flight response really is, how it manifests in daily life, and most importantly, how we can learn to work with it instead of being ruled by it. What is the Flight Response? The flight response is a survival instinct that activates when the brain perceives danger and determines that escape is the best option. This response is designed to keep us safe, but when trauma is involved, it can become overactive, making us feel like we constantly need to be moving, planning, or avoiding. Flight isn’t just about physically running away. It can also mean running from emotions, responsibilities, or relationships. It can be an urge to stay distracted, overcommit, or constantly be in motion to avoid discomfort. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to the Fight Response - the first "F" of the five "F"'s of Trauma Response 9:10

6 weeks之前9:10

9:10

What is the Fight Response? When the brain perceives danger, it quickly assesses whether fighting back is the best chance of survival. This response is hardwired into us. Think about animals in the wild—when faced with a threat, some stand their ground, puff up their chests, and prepare to defend themselves. Humans do the same thing, but in more complex ways. The fight response isn’t just about physical combat. It can manifest in verbal confrontations, defensiveness, or even the need to be right at all costs. For some, it’s a deep-seated resistance to feeling powerless. If you find yourself reacting to stress with anger, frustration, or a heightened sense of needing control, this might be your dominant trauma response. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to the Five F's of Trauma Response 8:46

7 weeks之前8:46

8:46

If you’ve been following along, you know that I like to take a deep dive into how trauma shapes our behaviors and responses to the world around us. Today, I’m introducing something that will lay the foundation for our next few episodes: the Five F’s of Trauma Response. This is a concept that explains how our brains and bodies react when we feel threatened, even if the threat is no longer present. Trauma lives in the body, and because of that, our responses are not always logical. Sometimes, we find ourselves reacting in ways that don’t seem to make sense. We may feel like we’re constantly fighting, running away, shutting down, appeasing others, or feeling completely helpless—and that’s because these are all deeply ingrained survival instincts. In today’s episode, I’m going to introduce each of the Five F’s, give you examples of how they might show up in daily life, and explain why recognizing these responses is so crucial for healing. In future episodes, I’ll explore each of these in more depth. The Five F’s—Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, and Flop—are the ways our nervous system responds to danger. These are instinctive reactions, shaped by past experiences, and often occur before we even have time to think. Fight: The fight response is the instinct to confront a threat head-on. This might look like anger, defensiveness, or an intense need to be in control. People who default to the fight response may often find themselves arguing, feeling like they have to prove themselves, or reacting aggressively in situations where they feel challenged. It’s a way of trying to regain a sense of power. Flight: If fight isn’t an option, flight might be. This response makes you want to escape—either physically by leaving a situation or mentally by staying busy and distracted. People with a dominant flight response may avoid confrontation, overwork themselves, or feel like they can never sit still. They’re always on the move, always looking for an exit. Freeze: Sometimes, the brain decides that neither fighting nor fleeing is an option, so it shuts down instead. The freeze response can feel like mental fog, dissociation, or being unable to act when faced with stress. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a situation where you knew you needed to do something but couldn’t move, that’s freeze in action. Fawn: The fawn response is about appeasement—seeking safety by pleasing others. People who have learned to fawn often prioritize other people’s needs at the expense of their own. They may struggle with saying no, setting boundaries, or speaking up for themselves because they’ve learned that keeping the peace is the safest option. Flop: The lesser-known flop response is when the body completely shuts down. This is the experience of feeling powerless, exhausted, and unable to take action. People who experience this may find themselves giving up easily, feeling helpless, or struggling with extreme fatigue when faced with stress. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to not being able to stay present as a trauma response 10:10

9 weeks之前10:10

10:10

Episode 23 - Introduction to not being able to stay present as a trauma response Are you finding it difficult to stay in the moment, constantly feeling like your mind is re-living the past or in a constant state of worry about the future? Do you often catch yourself losing focus during conversations because you are preoccupied with other thoughts or, perhaps you disconnect and dissociate during stressful situations? If so, this might be tied to your trauma history. If you experience any of these things, please know, you are not alone, and what you’re experiencing is a very real and common response to trauma. So what exactly does it mean to not be able to stay present? Being unable to stay present, or feeling disconnected from the here and now, often stems from unresolved trauma. This can present itself as a mental fog, dissociation, or hyper-awareness of your surroundings. Your brain may go into overdrive, pulling you out of the current moment as a way to protect you from perceived danger, even if no immediate threat is present. This survival mechanism, while helpful in dangerous situations, can interfere with your daily life, relationships, and overall sense of well-being. Why does not being able to stay present happen, and how does it impact the negative cycle? Trauma can alter the way your brain processes information. When you’ve experienced trauma, your mind learns to be hyper-vigilant, always scanning for threats. This can make it difficult to focus on the present because you’re preoccupied with anticipating danger or reliving past experiences. Over time, this cycle can become self-reinforcing—the more you disconnect from the present, the harder it becomes to ground yourself in reality. This can negatively affect your relationships, work, and self-esteem as you feel increasingly detached from the world around you. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to not being Seen as a trauma Response 9:01

10 weeks之前9:01

9:01

Introduction to Not Being Seen as a Trauma Response Have you ever felt invisible in your relationships, friendships, or even in your workplace? Perhaps you feel like your needs, thoughts, and feelings don’t matter, or that others rarely acknowledge your contributions or presence. Do you find yourself retreating or staying quiet, even when you’re desperate to speak up? If so, this might be a result of a trauma response—a learned behavior that is rooted in your past experiences. This pattern does not have to define your life, and you can learn to reclaim your voice and presence. So what exactly is not being seen as a trauma response? Not being seen as a trauma response is the tendency to make yourself invisible in interactions, relationships, or social settings. It often stems from a survival mechanism developed during traumatic experiences, particularly in one's childhood. For example, if you grew up in an environment where your emotional needs were consistently ignored, or where expressing yourself was met with punishment, judgment, or rejection, you may have learned that staying quiet and out of sight was the safer option. Over time though, this adaptive behavior can carry into adulthood, showing up as a fear of taking up space or a belief that your needs don’t matter. This response might manifest as people-pleasing, avoiding conflict, or suppressing your emotions to keep the peace. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | How to manage through the Holiday season as a person coping with trauma 10:19

16 weeks之前10:19

10:19

How to manage through the Holiday season as a person coping with trauma If you are living with trauma, the holidays may be a time that you are dreading. You may be overwhelmed and anxious about being around people you do not really want to be with. You may not feel that you can manage all of the pressures the traditional Holiday season can bring. These can be financial pressures, social pressures, travel pressures and so on. Or, perhaps you do not have family or friends to be with, and you are feeling isolated and alone. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to entering controlling relationships as a trauma response 11:50

21 weeks之前11:50

11:50

Episode 20 - Introduction to entering controlling relationships as a trauma response Are you in a relationship personal or professional with someone that makes you feel powerless or scared? Maybe they hold grudges constantly over issues that are actually trivial? Perhaps they make you feel like you cannot do anything right ever, or that there is something wrong with you? Or maybe you are in a situation where the other person makes you feel like you are always the problem in any situation. In certain situations they could be monitoring you by asking you to tell them everything or looking into your personal email and social media accounts? If so, you could be experiencing a controlling relationship situation. If you are realizing that this may be the case for you, it is absolutely not your fault and you can get out of it. So what exactly is a controlling relationship? A controlling relationship is one that is based on an imbalance of power. It is a relationship where the other person is dominating you, and displaying authoritarian and possessive behavior. It is a situation where the other person is constantly trying to control your every move, regularly makes you feel guilty, shows extreme jealousy, isolates you from your friends and family. It is a relationship where you are not free to be yourself, and where you experience a lack of self worth, intimidation, guilt and insecurity and alienation from your support system. This form of control can be brought up in multiple ways - financial, physical, sexual, spiritual, psychological and emotional. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to Emotional Numbness as a Trauma Response 10:00

23 weeks之前10:00

10:00

Episode 19 -Introduction to emotional numbness as a trauma response Have you ever experienced a change in your emotional experience, as if your emotions became something you started to have restricted access to? Or perhaps, have your emotions started to feel completely inaccessible? Maybe you have experienced a feeling of distance and detachment from others, and have developed a strong preference for being alone and isolated. Or are you struggling to experience positive feelings like happiness and feel generally “flat” emotionally and physically? If you are experiencing one or more of these symptoms, you could be dealing with emotional numbness as a trauma response. So what exactly is emotional numbness? Emotional numbness is when you are in a state of existence which leaves you unable to feel and express emotions. It is the mental and emotional process of shutting out feelings. Everyone can experience a day when they feel emotionally numb and it is often temporary. When experiencing emotional numbness though, this feeling will be present for many days consecutively and for multiple weeks in a row. The emotional numbness will begin to impact your day to day life. Emotional numbness is a strategy to protect oneself from a physical or emotional pain that is in addition to what you have already endured. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to people pleasing and ignoring your own needs 9:51

24 weeks之前9:51

9:51

Episode 18 - Introduction to people pleasing and ignoring your own needs Do you overcommit to activities or responsibilities that others ask of you? Do you ever find yourself saying yes to everything or struggling to ever say the word no to others? Maybe you often find that you are saying yes to work or personal commitments, despite having too much of a work or personal load already. Maybe you end up regretting saying yes and over-committing yourself. Or, perhaps you look back and realize that you are never taking care of your own needs because you have been so focused on pleasing others. If so, you may be experiencing People Pleasing as a Trauma Response. So what exactly is people pleasing? People pleasing is when a person constantly strives to please others, a people pleaser chronically over-commits to activities and responsibilities and, people pleasers have a great deal of trouble setting boundaries. People pleasing can be a trauma response, this is a response that is motivated by fear. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

1
Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to Overworking as a Trauma Response 11:36

26 weeks之前11:36

11:36

Episode 17 - Introduction to Overworking and Workaholic behavior as a Trauma Response Overworking happens when you are exceeding your capacity at work - this capacity can be physical, mental or emotional. Overworking occurs when you work too long, too hard or too much. Similarly to overworking, workaholics have an inability to control the time they spend on work, even if working has negative health and relationship consequences. Although Overworking and Workaholic behaviors are very similar, they differ in that workaholics tend to act out compulsion and fear. Even though it may not be obvious at first, both responses can be a trauma response. So what exactly is overworking as a trauma response? Trauma and the feelings that come with it are hard and uncomfortable; they can be painful and extremely unsettling. If this is the case for you, work can so easily become a very welcome distraction. Work can feel like a safe place because you can immerse yourself in it, it can be a place of logic or chaos but it is a place that is not in your mind and not made out of your feelings which is where the relief comes in. Trauma victims may get lost in work - they may even work through discomfort and physical pain because they are so accustomed to putting their unresolved feelings into their jobs. If you find yourself immersing yourself in work as a distraction from other areas of your life that are causing dissatisfaction or stress, you could be experiencing overworking or workaholism as a trauma response. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to the Emotional Recovery from a Critical Illness 8:52

26 weeks之前8:52

8:52

Episode 16 - Introduction to the Emotional Recovery from a Critical Illness When you make it through a critical illness you might expect to feel happy, relieved and even energized. You may think that you should be ready to move on with your life and leave that awful event in the past where it supposedly belongs. Afterall, you have overcome the illness or at least the illness’s current hurdle. Those around you might presume that you have moved on too. Even if they don’t say it outwardly, they might assume you will act as you always have, resume your normal work duties, your home and educational duties, your parenting duties and so on because to them - you have recovered, at least to a certain extent. To everyone else it might seem that life is moving on and that part is true, life does move on. This is one of the aspects of the human experience that we can rely on even if at times, it seems like the world should stop to honor what has happened to us or those around us, it simply does not. What is not talked about enough and what you might not expect is to not feel happy, not feel relieved and not feel energized or motivated at all. Getting back to life as you know it is not as simple as it seems. The thing is, after surviving a critical illness you are forever changed. There is no life as you know it anymore. You do not see or feel life in the same way. I can spot critical illness survivors easily - I have witnessed the ones that have had major breakthroughs and truly cherish life, I’ve seen the ones that run away from the experience right into the hands of substances and I’ve seen the ones that remain in a constant state of depression. The ones I see most clearly, are the ones like me, the ones who move on with their life so quickly and get hit so hard with PTSD that they don’t see it coming, and they don’t even recognize it at first. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Why people do not step in to stop abuse and a guide to giving help to someone you suspect is being abused 11:08

28 weeks之前11:08

11:08

Today's episode is an explanation of why people do not step in to stop abuse and a guide to giving help to someone you suspect is being abused. If anyone that did not step in and help me is listening today - I understand why you couldn't then but I need you to know that it is not too late to help others now. When I was growing up, many parts of my family's situation were kept buried and expertly hidden. Once I became an adult and began advocating for myself I started to truly take a stand about what happened to me as a child. When I did this, something unexpected happened. Many people in my life came forward. They came forward and told me that they were always worried about what was happening to me in the house I grew up in. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to Oversharing 9:40

30 weeks之前9:40

9:40

Episode 14 - Introduction to Oversharing In today’s episode I will be discussing oversharing as it relates to a trauma response and providing a three steps to help you overcome oversharing. Divulging excessive information quickly in a relationship is a very common pattern in people who have experienced trauma. Do you ever find yourself explaining things without limits to the wrong person and maybe at the wrong time? Do you go into great detail about your life really quickly with someone you just recently met? Perhaps you find yourself giving up information that you later realize was inappropriate or maybe you give up too much information too soon for the situation at hand. If so, you could be experiencing oversharing. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to Overthinking 11:25

35 weeks之前11:25

11:25

In today's episode I will be discussing overthinking. In my last episode I discussed catastrophizing, I consider overthinking to be catastrophizing’s equally unhelpful sibling. Overthinking and catastrophizing can stem from similar pasts as a way to cope with trauma, however, like siblings they have their own unique elements. Do you ever find yourself constantly ruminating, going over a situation over and over again in your mind as if on replay, or, do you catch yourself thinking through as many possible scenarios as you can before moving forward? Do you feel it is safer to think about than to act on a decision? If so, you could be experiencing overthinking due to trauma. If you are experiencing overthinking, it can cause you to become hyper-focused on your own thoughts, grow anxious about your inability to understand and manage them and end up preventing you from taking action. This can cause stagnation and can be incredibly uncomfortable and stifling. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to Catastrophizing 9:22

36 weeks之前9:22

9:22

Episode 12 - Introduction to Catastrophizing In today's episode I will be discussing catastrophizing. If you have ever found yourself jumping to the worst case scenario and predicting and preparing for the most awful outcomes all the time you could be experiencing catastrophizing as a result of trauma. The interesting thing that most people don’t know about catastrophizing is that it is a method of trying to gain control over outcomes, control of course helps us feel safe so while catastrophizing can be an unhelpful response it is no wonder it makes us feel so good in the moment we are experiencing it. I will never forget the day a dear friend said “did you know it's not normal to be afraid of getting into a car crash every time you drive?” - I remember saying, no, I thought everyone did that. I truly was shocked to find out that preparing for the worst outcomes was not a standard or even healthy way of living because I had become so used to living in a way that I thought was preparing me for anything that was to come. The thing is though, while there are many things that are in your control such as what you select to wear and the clothing you purchase - many life events are not in your control. The sooner you focus your energy on what you can control vs what you can’t, the more productive and truly in control you will be. So what exactly is catastrophizing? I will be focusing on catastrophizing as a trauma response, however, I would like to point out that other events such as a life-threatening illness, sudden job loss, chronic fatigue, chronic pain and anxiety disorders can also lead to this type of thinking. Regardless of why this type of thinking may occur for you, the information in this episode will still be helpful to hear. Predicting the worst case scenario can be a coping mechanism of protection - preparing for the worst may make someone feel that they can avoid disappointment and hurt. Here is an example of of catastrophic thinking: I can’t fall asleep, I have a big presentation at work tomorrow, now I am not going to get any sleep and the presentation is going to be terrible, I am going to disappoint my manager and my team and I am going to lose my job and I am never going to be able to find a good job again Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker: Introduction to Fierce Independence also known as Hyper-independence 9:08

37 weeks之前9:08

9:08

Episode 11 - Introduction to fierce independence or hyper-independence and the inability to ask for help In today's episode I will be discussing fierce independence, also referred to as hyper-independence as it relates to trauma. If you find it extremely difficult to ask for and to receive help, push people trying to help you away and have a preference of doing everything by yourself, you could be experiencing hyper-independence which may be a trauma response. Many people who are fiercely independent have acted in such a way for so long that they don’t even know why hyper-independence may exist. So what exactly is fierce independence? Hyper-independence is when someone has the overpowering sense and feeling that they must rely upon themselves in order to survive. Hyper independence can mean existing with a perspective of “I” when it comes to challenges and tasks as opposed to a “we” perspective - this can lead to having a great deal of trouble delegating tasks, refusing help and constantly over exerting themselves by taking on more than they can handle. A person with hyper-independence may be extremely hesitant to trust others for help and support - whether that is emotional or physical support, When hyper-independence is at an extreme it can cause challenges with forming meaningful relationships. While independence is a very important and helpful attribute, when a person becomes independent to the point when they refuse help that would make things simpler and easier and they may cause themselves feelings of isolation and unneeded stress. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to the Lack of Accountability from others 10:54

38 weeks之前10:54

10:54

In today's episode I will be discussing lack of accountability in relationships, why this happens and how this contributes to a negative cycle. If you have ever explained to someone how something they did to you hurt you and experienced them completely denying, disregarding or even blaming you for what happened, you may have experienced a lack of accountability. Victims of childhood trauma can spend lifetimes looking for and seeking accountability from abusers who will never give it. If the victim does eventually receive an apology , it can sometimes not even feel like the relief the victim was hoping it would be because that apology can end up really being for the person who inflicted the trauma and not for the victim and sadly, it may not remove the pain. As an abuse survivor I know first hand what it is like to never hear the words “I am sorry” from an abuser, I also know what it is like to hear the words “I am sorry but….” followed by excuse after excuse from an abuser, and, I know what it is like for an abuser to remember a reality that couldn't be further from the truth - a reality in which they were the victim that never did anything wrong. It can make you feel like you made it all up, like you imagined it - it can make you spin looking for truths. It is important for you to know abusers do this intentionally, it is a well crafted manipulation intended to make you doubt yourself and your true memories of what happened to you. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to the invisibility of abuse - things are not always what they seem 10:32

39 weeks之前10:32

10:32

Todays episode is an Introduction to the invisibility of abuse. You may be wondering what happened in my household and how the abuse I endured or anyone endures, can go unseen. Most of us are familiar with the age-old adage - things are not always what they seem. In today's world we are surrounded by social media. For the most part, users control the way the world sees them and only share positive heavily filtered (literally and figuratively) views of their life on social media. Let's go back about 40 years ago, when social media did not exist. There were no cell phones, there was no internet or household computer then. Yet even then, things were not always what they seemed and could be filtered. This is the thing about human nature, most people will only divulge what will make them safe in a crowd and part of this is because of our primal need to fit in in order to keep us safe from threats. Our primitive brain is hardwired to keep us safe, so if presenting a life that is truthful could lead to rejection which in turn equates to the risk of dying due to predators or the outside elements, of course people are not incentivised to share the harder parts of life easily. These events can remain bottled up, never to be seen by the light of day until years pass and it bubbles over. This is exactly what happened to me. Since starting this podcast I have had countless people say to me that they had no idea what I was going through, even when I was going through it. Their impression of my childhood was completely the opposite of what it truly was. They have shared that this podcast has been eye opening and hard to hear as someone that knew me during the time I was going through what I did. This has been said to me by both close family members and friends. I completely believe what they are saying, because, things are not always what they seem. I have a picture of me as a little girl which you can find on my social media accounts. In this picture I would say people would comment that I look happy and healthy, I even look like my basic needs are being met. The thing is though, all of this could not be further from the truth. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to Anticipatory Fear and Anxiety 11:14

40 weeks之前11:14

11:14

This episode features an introduction to anticipatory fear - also referred to as fear of what is going to happen next or dreading the future and anticipatory anxiety, If you have ever experienced worry about something that has not happened yet you have experienced anticipatory fear or anxiety. As a primal need to feel safe in the future, this fear makes complete sense. However, for some, this fear becomes debilitating and feels uncontrollable. In today's episode I will be discussing an introduction to anticipatory fear as it relates to unhealed trauma and the negative trauma cycle. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

1
Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to Critical Illness 12:29

41 weeks之前12:29

12:29

Video link to episode is: here (https://youtu.be/HIe_IUu-R4k) So what exactly is a critical illness? A critical illness can be a progressive, degenerative or malignant condition that places a person’s life in jeopardy. It may also be a medical condition in which immediate medical support of vital organ functions is needed in order to survive due to severe illness or major surgery. My story: From about the age of 9 or 10 I remember getting dizzy at unexpected times and sometimes for great lengths of time. I remember swimming and suddenly the pool would look like it was rotating, but not fully. The pool would appear to start to move from left to right and then suddenly stop and the movement would start again at the left. This started to happen when I would lie down, when I would figure skate, when I would walk - anywhere and at any time. Then I started to get what doctors thought were regular bouts of the stomach flu. I would be so dizzy and throwing up so much that I would have to lie in bed for days and days and eventually, the symptoms would subside. It was not until I went on a ride over and over again at an amusement park and could barely walk after that I was sent to a specialist who discovered the tumor with an MRI. Two separate medical opinions confirmed that the tumor had to be removed within two months from the date it was discovered. It was benign yet growing and had been there for so long that liquid built up in my brain was becoming more and more dangerous. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker| The Financial Cost of Unresolved Negative Cycles 7:32

42 weeks之前7:32

7:32

We know enough about negative intergenerational trauma cycles to understand they are unhealthy and dangerous and that there is a huge personal and financial cost. However, what are we truly doing as a movement to prevent this? There are people trying to make a difference yet why has this not taken off when so many I would argue lesser important trends and issues have? I am proof that one can heal from trauma, but I also know first hand this is a process that takes years, costs a lot of money and is easier to walk away from than to go through. It also must be completed in order to stop the vicious cycle. I am going to give you some numbers to help put the problem into perspective, I expect most of you will be shocked to see how costly the problem is: In 2018 child abuse cost Canadians $23 billion dollars annually and in the United States of America the cost was $2 trillion dollars annually - this is in the form of health care, court fees, social services and long-term effects on earnings, this is a conservative number because we know that not all cases are reported and addressed, this number has only increased over time. In 2023 a study came out explaining that in the United States the economic burden of health conditions caused by Adverse Childhood Experiences was $14 trillion dollars. The countries I have just mentioned are prosperous - the United States is the world's third most wealthiest nation and Canada is the world's eighth wealthiest nation. Can you imagine what is happening in countries that are not prosperous? Now you can understand why I am so puzzled as to why we are not doing more about this. Please share this information with those around you, people need to be aware of a problem and then admit to it in order to make progress. This theme flows through my previous episodes, in order for us to work through our traumatic experiences, we need to acknowledge their very existence in the first place. If anyone out there needs help pushing this movement out there, let me know, I would love to talk to you to see how we can make a positive meaningful change together. You can find ways to contact and follow me here: https://linktr.ee/cyclebreakerchangemaker Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

1
Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to Triggers 12:39

43 weeks之前12:39

12:39

Episode 5 - Introduction To Triggers - emotional triggers, mental health triggers or psychological triggers In today's episode I will be discussing an introduction to emotional, mental health or psychological triggers. It is important to understand that not all strong emotional reactions are a trigger response - if you are grieving the death of a loved one it is appropriate to have intense emotional and physical feelings. Those feelings are safe and should not be reduced or changed. What I will be addressing today is when your trigger response is very significant when the event the trigger is in response to is actually not significant. I will be looking at why the response may not be appropriate for the situation at hand. Trauma can lead to triggers because a traumatic event leaves the victim feeling completely powerless, sometimes even leading to dissociation in order to preserve yourself because of the immense emotional pain the experience may cause. This is why you may experience a trigger response that seems as if it has come out of nowhere. It in fact, comes out of a very important place - it means you are now able to look at and address the pain. Here is a helpful link to breathwork with Melissa Seguin: https://morning-fog-251.myflodesk.com/breathworkinfo?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR3ifthmp6smjakphHP_auhYh_IwwdbsJcx9Sbde_71Q6qQ0wfQFKK0ykOQ_aem_AXXHwtoW2v1xwxuBe-bQbeounV5JlLLysGV7nDJj0kMY_CAkaJtpzCfgfkyOQ0fj-N6CkoaZxlqvoXrCud33vw0k Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

1
Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to Letting Go 11:57

44 weeks之前11:57

11:57

Episode 4 - Introduction to letting go In today's episode I will focus on an introduction to letting people go. This can be a friend, a colleague, a relative or anyone that is in your life that is not serving you well. So what exactly does letting go of someone mean? I will be discussing letting go of a relationship in the following framework: You have already accepted how a relationship has developed and have come to realize it is not one you can continue, and you need to move on from it in order to move forward in your own life. It is important to know that letting go of someone can be a very difficult thing to do, it can appear that some people do this easily and with no remorse, however for most of us who experience meaningful connections it is a very hard process and requires the seven stages of grief to move on from. How does not letting go of someone who is not serving you contribute to a negative cycle? When you stay in a relationship that is not healthy for you out of your sense of obligation or your sense of fear it limits your ability to navigate your own life and can prevent you from finding happiness or contribute to you becoming very unhappy. When you are tethered or attached to someone unhealthy or unhelpful you can’t possibly be free - they are always on the back of your mind as it is impossible for them not to be. It is a huge weight that you carry, day in and day out. Additionally, maintaining these relationships reinforces the behavior that is perhaps toxic, negative or abusive. By staying, you are allowing yourself and the other person involved to believe that it is okay to continue existing in this way. My story: I grew up thinking and believing that cultural and societal norms and expectations were the only way to exist. I was applauded for being such a good person, a tolerant person, a patient person and so on - I held myself to a standard of excellence that ended up being to my detriment. This included maintaining many relationships that were not safe or good for me, because based on the way I understood the world - it was my obligation to do so. Praise only reinforced my behavior. While internally I was so unhappy, empty and unfulfilled, I was receiving praise so I took that to mean I was doing something positive. The problem with praise is when people give it, they often do not look at the whole story and it can reinforce bad behaviors. It was not until I was told over and over again by other survivors that you do not have to stay in bad relationships just because society says you should that I realized I was the exception in staying in the relationship for so long and I knew that I needed to take steps to correct this. How did this impact me as an adult? Staying in negative relationships for me became like wearing cement with scary objects in it. I began to feel weighed down because I was emotionally exhausted from dealing with unhealthy relationships and from putting others' needs before my own. I would do everything I could to placate other people so that they would not become upset with me in order to protect myself and Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

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Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to Abandonment 21:49

45 weeks之前21:49

21:49

This episode is all about abandonment, what it is, what it can cause and how to break its vicious cycle. You may be surprised at the amount of events that can lead to abandonment trauma. Additionally you will also learn how I almost lost my life when I was abandoned an how I have overcome my fears of being alone. Support the show Thank you for listening to todays episode! I would love to hear from you and to receive your questions and feedback. I would value and appreciate support of my show. This will help me continue to help you - subscribe today for as little as $3.00 per month here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2364681/support You can reach me here: Website Facebook Instagram Until the next time - warmly yours, Renata…

Cycle Breaker and Change Maker with Renata Ortega

1
Cycle Breaker and Change Maker | Introduction to the Negative Relationship Cycle 11:31

46 weeks之前11:31