When your T1D teen stakes their turf

Sweet Talk for Parents of Kids with Type One Diabetes

Teens and T1D!

I remember that before my son hit his teens, I swore that our lives wouldn't be as hard as what I was hearing from parents in the trenches. I was so sure that we were going to do better than all those other parents. And now I can humbly say that there is no easy path forward with teen kids: There are so many challenges as our kids grow up and transition to being independent with diabetes management.

On today's podcast episode, we get one flavor of what it’s like when you’re in the teen trenches. Rob comes onto the show to think through what to do about ongoing conflict he and his wife are having with their almost-17-year-old T1D daughter.

All the conflict centers on a new pump that they changed to a few months ago. The settings they are using for the new pump aren’t working — but their daughter is digging in her heels, insisting that she’s going to continue to do it her way. And her way means lots of LOW lows, massive number of juice boxes (Rob is buying them in bulk at Costco) and many-too-many sleepless nights for mom and dad. Basically, this teen has staked her turf, insisting that she be independent around the settings on this pump, even as it’s causing frustration and danger.

There was some good news, though: Rob noted that at their last endo appointment, he heard his daughter repeating back to the doctor all the things that he had articulated to her about the reasons the pump didn’t work. She clearly just can’t talk to him about it yet, but she is integrating it. Bottom line is that sometimes with our teens, we have to lean into the village. One suggestion? Have more endo appointments. Let the endo direct this conversation with his daughter. After all, if our kids won’t listen to us, it’s important to find a proxy who we trust — and who they are wiling to listen to.

We also looked at the way that this diabetes management issue is hijacking the relationship Rob and his wife have with their daughter. At this point, any time they try to talk to her about it, they end up in an explosive argument. I made a few key suggestions of how he can approach her so they can find a way to discuss it without a fight.

Hope you come away with some additional tools to apply to the hard moments you have with your T1D kiddo, either now or when they finally it those rocky teen years.

Enjoy the show!