Let's Talk About...Accepting Your Body

The Emotional Eating (and Everything Else) Podcast

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when I say the word acceptance? As in accepting who you are and accepting your body, right here, right now?

For many if not most people, the thought of acceptance brings up parts saying, "No! I won't give up!" Or, "I can't acceptance myself the way I am--I'm not good enough."

Yeah....acceptance is really hard....Which is why we're discussing it on this week's podcast.

First, let me just say that I think working toward acceptance needs to happen on multiple fronts, because there are numerous factors that contribute to the negative feelings so many of us have toward our bodies. How we feel about our bodies is shaped by how we personally experience them, how others treat them, the messages we get about them, how they function, how much they differ from others--the list goes on and on. I can't cover all of that on just one podcast--it would be 57 hours long.

So on this week's episode, we're just focusing on one factor that contributes to our negative body image and our difficulty accepting ourselves. And I think it's one of the main factors: the beauty industry. Thanks to the beauty industry, most of us have spent time, energy, and money focused on our appearance. And it's really impacted how we feel about ourselves and our bodies (and others' bodies) in an extremely negative way.

In this episode, I'm sharing a lot of research completed by Dr. Renee Engeln, a psychologist who focuses on what she calls the "Beauty Game." She wrote a fantastic book called "Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women" that's chock full of information on this topic. She's also done a couple of TED Talks on the subject, and she contributes regular articles to Psychology Today.

Just to give you a little idea of what we're up against, here are some research findings on the topic:

• 34% of five-year-old girls engage in deliberate dietary restraint at least sometimes (yes, you read that right--five-year-old girls)
• Between the ages of five and nine, 40% of girls say they wish they were thinner
• Almost one-third of third-grade girls report they are “always” afraid of becoming fat
• By age 13, girls report significantly more body shame than boys
• In the United States 69-84% of women experience body dissatisfaction, desiring to be a lower weight than they currently are

Unfortunately, all of that isn't even the half of it. The bad news goes on and on and on and on. The beauty industry (and the diet industry) have wreaked so much havoc on women in particular that it's no wonder we have such a hard time feeling good about ourselves.

Here's a quote by Dr. Engeln that speaks to some of this:

"The more easily identifiable you are as a woman, the more you will be objectified. The more you are objectified, the more your body will begin to feel like a performance piece instead of the home in which you live."

Our bodies should feel like our homes. We should want to care for and nourish them well. But thanks to the pressures we experience about our appearance, we often don't.

My hope in focusing on this topic is that parts of you will really start realizing that any negative thoughts and feelings you have about your body and your appearance are not authentic to you. They're internalized messages from our appearance-obsessed culture. They're learned. Which means they can be unlearned.

So, on this week's podcast we're looking at lots of research, and we're also talking about:

• What acceptance actually IS (it's NOT just giving up)
• What the "Beauty Game" is (defined by Dr. Engeln as a collection of cultural pressures that make women feel like all that matters is how they look)
• The impact of the media on our self-image
• The link between beauty and power

I also give you ten ways to start working toward exiting the Beauty Game and working toward acceptance.

I'm not gonna lie--I personally think this is an important episode, because so many of our parts think that the negativity we feel toward ourselves is justified and valid. IT'S NOT. It's been cultivated by an industry that makes tons of money off of our insecurity. I think it's incredibly important for your parts to have the correct information on this, so I hope you'll take a listen! Check it out!

Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Thinness Hurts Girls and Women

Dr. Engeln’s Psychology Today articles

The Beauty Game TED Talk

An Epidemic of Beauty Sickness TED Talk

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