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Covert narcissistic abuse crushes one’s soul. This podcast is devoted to understanding covert narcissistic abuse, its effect on the victims, and how to heal.
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Scottish writer who sits down with people from Entertainment business through to the authors themselves to discuss books, fantasy world and what their lives are really like.
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The Mulberry Lane Show is a music, arts, & lifestyle talk radio show by 3 sisters in a band- Rachel, Bo, & Allie Kat. When you tune in, you'll find what you have in common with a Grammy winning rock star or an Emmy winning actress. You’ll hear the philosophies, creative processes, tips, inspirations, troubles and triumphs of those pursuing their dreams. We like to break down walls. We love creating a comfy environment so artists feel safe revealing their true selves. And maybe you'll feel yo ...
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“I started this relationship looking for reasons to like him, but I ended it fighting against all the reasons that I hated him.” I have so many people voice this to me. You don't want to hate them. You fight against that for years, but your heart just keeps screaming louder. You spend years wondering what is wrong with you. Why can't you just focus…
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Let’s remember what trauma bonding is - In a simple definition, it is when the one who has hurt you is the one you turn to help you feel better. Trauma bonding feels like, “you’ve broken me into pieces but you’re the only one who can fix me.” The more you reach out to this covert abuser for love, recognition, comfort, validation, support, reconcili…
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People blow you off, saying you are making a big deal out of nothing. You’re just being too sensitive. You need to get tougher. You need to learn to stand up for yourself. But yet when you try, you get blamed for being the problem. So what's the big deal? Why am I spending a lifetime learning about covert narcissism? Because it matters!! Covert nar…
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Why can’t I actually leave this relationship? I want to! I’m tired of being treated this way. I’m tired of the ups and downs. I want stability. I want peace. I want less drama. Why can’t I actually walk away? Why do I keep coming back? Why do I continue to give them another chance, over and over? What is wrong with me? Am I crazy? If this is you, w…
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I’m surrounded by narcissists. Is everyone a covert narcissist? Is every marriage affected by this? I can’t take anything at face value. Right now in today’s world, I feel like we can’t take anything at face value anymore. The news says one thing. Social media says another. At times, it truly feels like we are surrounded by a fake world. Covert nar…
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There is a reason that this word FOG always appears in capital letters now. It is an acronym for Fear, Obligation and Guilt. These words explain the progression of things for the victim of narcissistic abuse, and even more so with covert narcissistic abuse. The internal reaction of, “I’ll never do that again,” or "I'll never say that again," is the…
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Narcissism seems to be everywhere. You hear about it in so many families. Marriages that you thought were good, you learn that they are falling apart behind closed doors. Family members, friends, co-workers...everywhere you turn. Is narcissism on the rise? Yes! Why is this? There are many contributing factors. In this episode, I address a few of th…
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Last night, I was caught off guard with a question I had not really thought about. I was not prepared to answer this question about my journey with a covert narcissistic husband. Here's the question: Name 3 significant landmarks along the way. Three things that boosted me forward on this journey and got me to where I am today. At first, I only thou…
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Q & A With Renee Swanson and Her Covert Narcissism Podcast Journey Recently Renee had the opportunity to be interviewed about her journey with Covert Narcissism and how it led where it is today with the Covert Narcissism Podcast. Currently the Covert Narcissism Podcast is downloaded by hundreds of thousands of listeners each month, and has expanded…
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It doesn't take long for struggles to show up when you are dealing with a covert narcissist, but we can easily convince ourselves that every marriage has its problems. We conclude that this is just normal relationship strife. But covert narcissistic behavior is more than this. You are not overreacting when you feel like this is a bigger deal than n…
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Trauma causes post-traumatic stress disorder. This is literally the effects of the stress after the trauma, the remaining results of the trauma. Too much adrenaline in your system is extremely dangerous. Stress is a killer. What is stress? According to the World Health Organization, stress can be defined as a state of worry or mental tension caused…
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I mean everything!! You never feel safe interacting with this person. This is why this particular type of abuse is so exhausting. While the abuse may not be constant, the risk of it is. The potential is always there. You never know with anything you say or do if it will set them off. When you are with a covert narcissist, everything you do gets use…
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An emergency situation while hiking on the Appalachian Trail resulted in an extremely normal trauma response from me. Realizing the correlations between this trauma response and my past trauma responses to covert narcissism opened my eyes. My responses to trauma are normal responses! I'm not broken. I'm not over-reactive. These situations with a co…
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Compare the Life of a Covert Narcissist With the Life of Their Victim (Special Throwback Episode)
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Are you trying to decide if all you are going through is "normal," or if it is fair and reasonable? In the last two episodes, I have talked about the codependency traits that so many victims have in common and the eternal victim role that covert narcissists play. These two things get trapped together so incredibly often. On one side, you have a per…
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There is an absolute fog that comes from dealing with covert narcissism. You struggle to think straight anymore, and the mind is running in circles Many survivors ask me, "Is something wrong with me? Will I ever be normal again?" When you have been through a traumatic relationship, that trauma has an effect. I say trauma for a reason. This is not a…
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Meet an extraordinary woman , an attorney, recipient of the governor's award for advocacy with survivors of domestic violence, and international best selling author who triumphed over narcissistic abuse, with two marriages to narcissists behind her, she harnessed the transformative power of her mind and thoughts on her path to healing and personal …
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Are you finding yourself reactive? Short-tempered? At least to them? Maybe even repulsed by their presence? This is a problem. This is the person living in my house, sleeping in my bed, professing their love to me, raising my kids with me, traveling with me. I can’t live like this. This has to change! How do I get my body to stop reaching to his pr…
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I hear so many people who have lived with a covert narcissist describe this person as a victim of everything. They can make everything be an attack on them or another way they got slighted. Covert narcissists love to play the victim role. They see themselves as an eternal victim. They will deny this of course. If you try to talk to them about it, t…
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Dealing with a covert narcissist is different from dealing with people who are “narcissistic”. Most of the advice out there is just for dealing with people who are narcissistic, and that’s a lot of good information. There is a problem though. Covert narcissists don’t appear narcissistic. Covert narcissists are…not blatantly narcissistic. In fact, o…
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How My Codependent Tendencies Led Me Straight to a Covert Narcissist (Special Throwback Episode)
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I now know the role that my own codependent tendencies played in creating this match. This match that I was convinced was made in heaven. This match that I truly believed was perfect. This match that was such a disaster. This match that nearly destroyed my own health and the lives of my boys. I realize now how much my own background played a part i…
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I am not a therapist, and you are not a victim.I am an advocate, and you are a survivor. I have faced the massive amounts of confusion I have been curled up on the floor of my closet unable to function I have faced all the self-doubt and self-blame. I've never tried so hard in anything in my life as I did at this marriage This is not a normal relat…
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The entitlement of a narcissistic person screams, "I am special simply because! I am better than everyone. I am more important than everyone. Everyone knows I am special and should treat me as such." Individuals with narcissistic tendencies expect special treatment. They feel that good things should come their way simply because of who they are. No…
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Today we're talking about the thousand bee stings in a relationship with a covert narcissist. Actually we are not talking about the thousand bee stings because that's not what the actual problem is. We are talking about what happens between the bee stings. Healthy marriages have bee stings too, but healthy marriages reconcile. With covert narcissis…
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Covert narcissists are experts at passive aggressiveness. They have this down so well. As a victim of the abuse, we are so conditioned that we don’t see it! Cognitive dissonance keeps us blind to so much for so long. I tell you now though, once you start to see what is going on, you cannot unsee it. Once you cross that threshold, you can’t go back.…
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Rebecca Zung is a top ranked trial lawyer and globally sought after expert in the art of high conflict negotiation resolution. Speaking on platforms worldwide, she is also a bestselling author of several books including the USA Today National Bestselling book SLAY the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win. In this episode, she shares he…
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I was so excited for the day that my husband was to move out of our home. I just knew how happy I would be. You could not erase the smile off my face as he was loading his last load. Finally!! This day was here. He would no longer be in my home. My home!! That sounded so amazing. He drove off with his last things. I just knew I would be dancing in …
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Narcissistic people need two dominant things: supply and scapegoats. They need someone who cares for their every need and want. This supply feeds their ego, boosting them up, laughing at all of their jokes, hanging on every word they say, and giving them all of their attention. In addition, they need scapegoats. Nothing is ever their fault, so they…
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I get asked frequently, how do I heal from this? How do you ever get over it? How do you move forward? Will I ever trust again? Can I have a healthy relationship? These are excellent questions and they go through the minds of many victims of covert narcissistic abuse. The journey is tortuously painful and can seem completely unending. It feels like…
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Hello all, welcome back to "The Book and Life Podcast" where we talk about women's fiction which tackles more detailed issues and conversations. It's a great little podcast for readers, editors, and writers. Its a great one that you will not want to miss.由Kristal Fleming
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"I don't know myself anymore. I don't recognize me. Who am I? I didn't used to be this way. What happened?" Are you asking these questions? Have you become someone that you don't recognize anymore? You are certainly not alone! The behaviors of covert narcissism are destructive, manipulative, antagonistic, harmful, coercive, abusive, and emotionally…
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Today’s guest is Vanessa Reiser, a narcissistic abuse expert. Vanessa is a mother, author, entrepreneur, 2X Ironman and ground-breaking licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), specializing in narcissistic and cult abuse. She is also the founder of Tell a Therapist, LLC and is best known for her run across the state of New York (285 miles in 11 days…
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Bullying is not a kid’s problem. Someone recently said to me that it is. They said that we deal with bullies in our childhood. Teen years, there may be a few bullies here and there, but not really. By adulthood, we are past all that kid stuff. That got me thinking. Really? Are we really past all the bullying behavior in adulthood? So I looked up th…
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When friends and family members don't understand the abuse we are enduring from covert narcissism, this adds to the pain and confusion we are already experiencing. Their dismissiveness of the abusive behavior only compounds our frustration. They often dismiss it, not to add to our pain, but in an attempt to keep the peace and move on. When our love…
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I sure don't need a diagnosis to know what I've been through. When I first read the words about covert narcissism, I immediately knew that I had found an answer to what was going on. The words resonated SO deeply in my heart that it was both painful and freeing. When the words line up, you just know it. When you read or hear something that describe…
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I am taking some time today to talk to you about the following authors whose books I was sent arches to review. We have Alex McCarthy and Sarah Mallory. We cover contemporary fiction and Regency Romance. Both of which you may be surprised by the responses I had for each of them. Please take a listen and let me know your thoughts.…
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Listening to some music the other day, a song came on that really spoke to me. It was by Jelly Roll and titled “I Am Not Okay.” I can’t speak for Jelly Roll, but as a victim of covert narcissism, these lyrics could not have been more fitting. I am not okay I'm barely getting by I'm losing track of days I'm losing sleep at night I am not okay I'm ha…
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It's my pleasure to welcome the wonderful and amazing Anthony Mango to the podcast where we discuss the inner details of writing and characters development. There is something there for everyone.由Kristal Fleming
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If you ever want a covert narcissist to talk about you, point out something they have done that upset you. See how their language changes. They live a very me-focused life. Until you come to that moment in the conversation where an apology from them should be. Then their script changes, and they become very you-focused. "You made me mad. You hurt m…
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THIS WAS NEVER ABOUT YOU!!•The way they talk to you•The way they treat you•The reactions they have•The looks•The silent treatment•The circular conversations from•The abuse•All of it It was never about you. You need to know that. You need to hear what I am saying.If you want to find healing inside of you, this is so vitally important. This experienc…
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Time doesn't heal all wounds, effort does. You can't lay around and wait for a broken leg to heal. It takes doctor visits and physical therapy visits. If you just wait for time to heal it, you will face residual pain and issues for the rest of your life. Negative feelings are normal along the way, such as regret, frustration, self-judgment, despair…
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When you’ve been living with a covert narcissist for many years, your self-care is almost non-existent. You don’t have the time, energy, mental capacity, or freedom to take care of yourself. Any efforts at self-care may have been labeled as selfish. Over the years, you've paid a high price for trying to even do the bare minimum of caring for yourse…
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"I love you" does not mean the same thing coming out of a covert narcissist as it does when you say it. For non-narcissistic people, "I love you" means I care about your thoughts and feelings. I love when you are happy, peaceful and relaxed. I want what is best for you. I care about you. For a covert narcissist, "I love you" is not quite the same. …
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Survivors of covert narcissistic abuse feel like they are going crazy. They often tell me that they are losing their mind. They don’t know which end is up, what reality is or what to do next. They are often frozen in self-doubt and confusion. This is because of cognitive dissonance. In this episode, I am going to help you understand what cognitive …
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Trauma causes people to make changes in the way they interact with their world. Emotional abuse is traumatic. It takes away one's perception of safety. When we experience trauma, our system will work hard to re-establish a perceived sense of safety. Thus we pick up survival skills that can become walls between us and others. What behaviors do we pi…
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Financial abuse and manipulation can come with the appearance of being loving and caring. Covert narcissists will say that they are doing this “for your own good.” In the guise of helping you, they use and abuse you. At the same time though, there is just enough truth in what they are saying to convince you that they are right. This tiny speck of t…
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Today, we have the author of The Human Magnet Syndrome, Ross Rosenberg. I talk with him about his new book, The Codependency Revolution: Fixing What Was Always Broken. What is this monster called codependency that no one seems to understand? It is so hard to understand narcissism, and it is equally hard to understand codependency. In Ross’s words, …
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In this episode, our guest talks about the financial abuse she endured in a lengthy marriage with children. No matter how many failures or the depth of the failures, covert narcissists will always find someone or something to blame. Scapegoating accompanies the financial abuse, as they blame you for their financial struggles. They simply cannot car…
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I’m mad! So I yell at you, punch the wall, storm off, stomp my feet, shove the chair, and slam the bedroom door! I don’t care that you don’t like it! I don’t care that you now feel bad. In fact, I’m going to wait in my room until you come and apologize to me! Who am I? I'm a 2 year old toddler throwing a fit, or a teenager dealing with hormones, so…
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Dr. Melissa Kalt, M.D. specializes in removing the trauma of narcissistic abuse from the body. She brings so much insight to the topic, and I thoroughly enjoyed interviewing her for our audience. This interview is extremely informative and helpful. Dr. Melissa is a graduate of the Medical College of Wisconsin – triple-board-certified in Internal Me…
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In this chat time with Renee Swanson and Eleanor Marks, these two discuss two questions brought by Covert Narcissism Podcast listeners. They each share their answer to this question, “Looking back, when do you wish you would have left? Is there a time that you “wish” you would have filed for divorce sooner?” The second question they dive into is “P…
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