Never Base a Relationship Decision on Fear, Complacency or Guilt

Romancipation

S3 Episode 12: Never Base a Relationship Decision of Fear, Complacency or Guilt

Episode Summary

Fear, complacency or guilt should never be the driver of your romantic decisions. Too many relationships either begin or continue longer than they should because one partner is compelled to stay with the other person for the wrong reasons. Loneliness, desire for children, financial security, cultural, religious or societal obligations have a way of pressuring people into romantic relationships that are unhealthy and counterproductive to both individuals involved.

Every decision made in a relationship should be based on a realistic assessment of wants and needs. You may want to have children, but if it is with the wrong person ask yourself if it is worth it. If someone is pressuring you or guilting you to make a serious commitment that you are not ready for, practice self-preservation and do the difficult thing and walk away. The most thoughtful thing you can do for yourself and the other person is be honest and give each other the opportunity to find happiness.

Even if you are in a relationship with the right person, make sure to take an active role in how your life together develops. When major life decisions are directed by one partner and the other just goes along with it, eventually resentment takes hold. Complacency can seem like the path of least resistance in the moment but will eventually catch up to the overall health of the relationship.

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss how a partner’s eating habits can have a detrimental impact on your relationship.

Show Notes

When you make decisions in your relationship, you want to make sure you’re not basing those decisions on fear, complacency, or guilt. The decisions made from these places will lead to resentment, whether that’s resentment of yourself or your partner. You can’t let anyone push you into a decision that doesn’t feel right.

Women struggle with this issue more than men. Men generally seem less likely to feel guilt and to make decisions based on that feeling. A lot of women can relate to the experience of making decisions for these reasons, but another common reason is the fear of being alone. You may put blinders on if you feel like you’re on a time crunch to commit to a relationship.

It’s important to take a step back and understand that the decisions you make now will really impact your future. If the desire for children is putting you under pressure to find or stay in the wrong relationship, remember that technology has advanced far enough to make motherhood possible in new ways.

Complacency is another big one. It shows you’re just going along with whatever comes, and it’s not because you’re getting what you want, but because you’re tired of fighting for what you want. If it’s not beneficial to you or the relationship, it can create instant resentment.

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When your partner’s eating habits make it difficult for you. It is beyond frustrating, and it has a huge impact on your daily lives as a couple. It’s annoying and it can become a point of contention if the diet impacts the person's mood or energy level. Whether it’s undereating, overeating, or the need to follow a very specific diet, you need to create boundaries and respect each other.

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