252. Navigating the Pain of Being "Othered," with Jenai Auman, author of Othered

Spiritual Life and Leadership

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This episode tackles the topic of being "othered" by those in church leadership, an important conversation for anyone in ministry leadership who wants to understand how to create an environment of embrace, of love, of belonging—and of being a healthy team.
Jenai Auman, the author of Othered, discusses her personal experiences of being othered by church leaders, the impact it had on her, and how leaders can cultivate communities marked by shalom and hesed.
THIS EPISODE'S HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE:

• Jenai Auman shares her struggles with toxic issues and resistance at a church where she was on staff.
• Advocacy for personal boundaries led to Jenai being labeled as the problem and asked to leave the church.
• Individuals often remain in unhealthy environments due to a shallow understanding of love and belonging, influenced by past trauma.
• Jenai Auman identifies with domestic violence survivors in her determination to fix the system from within.
• Through her painful experience, Jenai Auman gained transformative wisdom and spiritual growth.
• Emphasizing the importance of healing, Jenai Auman aims to avoid bitterness and repeating the harm done to her.
• The hesed of God demonstrates loving kindness and compassion, aiming for wholeness in a fractured world.
• The zero-sum game misconception causes competition for comfort and peace, but God's shalom advocates for abundance.
• By adopting an open-handed posture towards others, we mirror God's nature, fostering inclusivity and belonging.
• Jenai Auman advises those feeling othered to recognize their inherent belovedness without seeking external validation.
• Church leaders should focus on self-reflection and compassion, avoiding defensive othering.
• Jenai Auman discusses the concept of shalom as a state of peace involving love, wisdom, and understanding personal stories.
• Naming experiences of othering is crucial for healing, enabling reconciliation and peace.
• Jenai Auman reflects on how her experiences with othering have shaped her understanding of mutuality and divine love.

RELEVANT RESOURCES AND LINKS:

• Jenai Auman:
  • Website
  • Substack
  • Email
• Books mentioned:
  • Othered, by Jenai Auman
• Related episodes:
  • 82: Narcissism and Spiritual Leadership, with Chuck DeGroat
  • 92. Against a Culture of Abuse, with Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer
  • 163. You Can’t Be Found if You’re Never Lost, with Steve Carter

Click HERE to get my FREE online course, BECOMING LEADERS OF SHALOM.