The Session: Helping Your Teens Handle "Young Love"

The Session with Tom Russell

Ahhh....young love. Remember that first broken heart you had? Your kids will experience that for sure. It's how we help them as parents that can help them cope. That's what we cover in this episode.

The Session: Helping Teens Navigate Through The Tumultuous Teen Years And Dating…or, how to help your teen heal a broken heart…

Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, But happy is one who keeps the Law. Proverbs 29:18 (NASB)

In 1991 86% of high school students were dating

In 2017 the number of high school students dating dropped to 51%.

The average age of getting married for women is 28 years old. For men, it is 30 years old.

Parents

We demand changed behavior and never address the heart that drives the behavior.

The child’s heart remains the issue. Let’s not forget the children want power.

When children cross boundaries they are trying to get their emotional needs of affirmation, identity, gratification, love, or commitment met. If they are not met in the family they will be met outside of the family.

Dr. Juli Slattery points out in Rethinking Sexuality,isn’t our sexuality so much more than rules—

God’s covenant love with His people isn’t He is after our sexual maturity and its lifelongintegration and reflection in our faith, rather than just virginity until marriage?

When our children’s values are more important to the parents than it is to their children, it won’t likely be successful.

It becomes more important to parents when there are strict rules and heavy authority.

Child ownership is created when parents spend their time building influence and a relational bridge with them.

Child, ownership happens when belief, and value is facilitated when parents focus on the vision of what they want to see your teens be rather than trying to prevent the things you don’t want that could come across as shame and guilt

Tom’s View

The answer to adolescent safe dating and adolescent issues are in developing a culture and environment that facilitates strong character.

• Be a good role model. Parents should model what they want to see happen with their children. Share what it means for you to have a relationship with Jesus and how important it is to you as a parent coping in every day life
• Apply biblical teachings to real life. An example would be when people are saying mean and hurtful things, they look at what does the Scriptures say about that?
• Catch them doing right and celebrate their success. The celebration of success can facilitate eight important emotional needs being met acceptance, attention, approval, affirmation, affection, encouragement, respect, security
• Get in their world. Help them focus on what they find to be interesting and meaningful and facilitate it happening more.

Important tips to be successful

• The family atmosphere and culture should be started as early as possible in the children’s lives. That could be pre-kindergarten.
• With the onset of pornography addiction being as young as eight years old it is recommended that no screens until a child is 14 and can show responsibility (a person‘s ability to respond)
• Put children in healthy and save situations and circumstances that will help them develop healthy character. As an example if basketball is a strong interest. Try to find an Upwards basketball league. They are Christian based leagues

Suggestions for safe and successful dating

• If your child is showing Good responsibility at age 15 group dates where parents drop them off and pick them off can be doable.
• Another suggestion could be inviting the date over for game night or a family fun night
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To reach Tom Russell, go to https://www.heritagechristiancounselingofmansfield.com.