Beyond The Golden Girls: Platonic Life Partners at Any Age: Rhaina Cohen

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Episode #87: Shows like The Golden Girls and Grace & Frankie are beloved by so many, but also treated as a fantasy. What if platonic life partnerships didn't have to be merely a dream? What if you didn't have to wait until retirement age to consider centering your life around friendship?

Today's guest, Rhaina Cohen, author of The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center, profiles platonic partners in her book who are at different ages and stages of life. While there have always been people throughout history making the choice to commit their lives to a friend rather than a romantic partner, there are not common models, labels, or legal benefits for these kind of arrangements.

MEET RHAINA COHEN:

Rhaina Cohen is an award-winning producer and editor for NPR’s documentary podcast Embedded. She was named a 2021/2022 National Endowment for the Humanities Public Scholar for her debut nonfiction book, The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center. Her writing, often focused on social connection, has appeared in The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Washington Post and elsewhere. She’s spent most of her career working on podcasts that blend narratives and ideas, including Hidden Brain, Invisibilia and Rough Translation. Find Rhaina on Twitter and Instagram.

We discussed:

• The lack of vocabulary or process for people who want to try a platonic partnership.The real enchantment and sense of possibility that happens when you're excited about a new friend, a feeling that's not so different from a romantic spark. Rhaina mentioned "limerence" as the term used for this initial sensation in romance that can apply to friendship too.
• The crucial element of proximity in close friendships.
• The popularity of the Llano Exit Strategy story and the dream people have about clustering near close friends eventually.
• The importance of not having just one story in our minds for what it looks like to be happy, fulfilled, and connected.
• Some of the benefits Rhaina gains because she and her husband live with another couple (platonically) and the couple's two kids.

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