Agree in the Lord

Sermons | Cities Church

For those of you who have been Christians for a long time, have you ever heard a sermon before and thought, “Wow! When the pastor said that one part, it was like he was talking straight to me”?

Can you imagine what Euodia and Syntyche must have felt after this letter was read to the church at Philippi?

This letter from Paul was read aloud in one sitting to the gathered church, and in the audience of that church would have been the two women that Paul names here, Euodia and Syntyche. And all we know about these women are three things:

1. They both were members of the church at Philippi — they’ve got strong Greek names, not Jewish names. So they would have been some of the Gentiles who converted to Christ when the gospel advanced to Philippi in Acts 16.

2. They both labored with Paul in the gospel as his friends. These two women were not church consumers or ministry bystanders, but they were active with Paul in the mission — and that’s why Paul addresses them by name. He’s not shaming them by doing this, but it’s just the opposite. By saying their names he is highlighting his personal connection to them. We know these women were important to Paul and to the church.

3. They had a disagreement. We know this because Paul entreats them to “agree in the Lord” and Paul would not say that if they already were agreeing. So they had some kind of disagreement.

And other than these three things, we don’t know much else about what’s going on here, and it kinda drives some people crazy. There’s a lot of mystery in this passage: Who is this “true companion” Paul mentions? Who is Clement? What exactly was this conflict about?

Commentators have spilled a lot of ink with all kinds of speculations here, and I’m not going to get into any of that — I figure that if Paul wanted us to know more details then he would have given us more details. So instead, for this sermon, I just want to highlight three observations in these verses that are relevant for our life together as a local church. Here they are:

1. Local church unity really matters (verse 2).

2. Local church unity is owned by everyone (verse 3a).

3. Local church members’ names are written in the book of life (verse 3bc).

We’re gonna slow down and focus on each one of these, but first let’s pray, and ask the Father to do more in this time than what we have expected:

Father in heaven, we believe that the Bible is your word to us, and that means that anytime we hear your word preached it is always for us. By your Spirit, through your word, you address us as a local church and as individuals who are part of the local church. And so we ask: give us hearts to receive what you have for us this morning, in Jesus’s name, amen.

1. Local church unity really matters (verse 2)

When Paul tells Euodia and Syntyche to “agree in the Lord” — to have unity — it’s the third major mention of unity in this letter. Unity has been a theme, going back to Chapter 1, verse 27. Pastor David Mathis mentioned this verse again last week. Philippians 1:27,

“Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel …”

1:27 is extremely connected to our passage today. Notice three ideas back in 1:27: Standing firm; Striving side by side in the gospel; Having unity …

And if you remember, the unity part continues into Chapter 2:

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ,

any comfort from love,

any participation in the Spirit,

any affection and sympathy,

complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.”

Unity!

So standing, striving, unity — each of these ideas in 1:27 show up again in the first few verses of Chapter 4.

Everybody look at those words “to agree” in Chapter 4, verse 2.

Those two words “to agree” is literally to have “the same mind” — and those are the exact same words that Paul uses in Chapter 2, verse 2. So the idea of unity in Philippians 2:2 and Philippians 4:2 is the exact same, it’s just that now in 4:2 Paul is repeating that idea with practical application. Paul has obviously known about the disagreement with Euodia and Syntyche since the start of the letter, so it’s kind of like the whole letter has been heading toward this moment. Chapter 4, verse 2 is not an afterthought, but Paul saying this has been his plan.

It reminds us that unity in the local church is not theoretical, but unity really matters, because disagreements really happen. This is real-life.

Talking ‘Everyday Conflict’

When you put a bunch of people together, each with their own stories and experiences, and personalities and preferences, there will be moments when we relationally bump into each other. The writer Ken Sande calls this “everyday conflict.” And we’ve all been there. We’ve either been involved in these conflicts or we’ve known about conflicts, and as a fact, in the life of our church over the past decade, most of our relational conflicts have been between women.

Now these have not been massive disruptions — most of the time they’re small disagreements —but I think they tend to happen more among women because women care more than men.

I’m going to do some natural theology here, but we have to be okay with speaking in general. In general, men are more externally-oriented. Men think: “let’s go build something.” And of course there are disagreements among men, but with men we either resolve them or we separate. Because we’re looking externally. We’re shoulder-to-shoulder, and the question is about the work: Can we get over this to keep doing the work together? We’re externally-oriented.

But see, men and women are different. Women are integrators. They are internally-oriented. They cultivate and beautify inside. Women have wombs and make wombs. Sisters, hear me, in general, and profoundly so, you are nesters. And it’s glorious and indispensable to the local church, but it also means that when conflict arises, your first instinct is not to resolve or separate, but it’s to go silent. Because you want to integrate. You want it all to go together, and so maybe if you just keep your distance on that issue, maybe it will go away, maybe it won’t be that big a deal, maybe a little tension won’t be so bad. You just want to hold everything together. And that’s precious! That’s motherly. Happy Mother’s Day!

That’s at least how things started in the church at Philippi.

We don’t know the details of why these two women are disagreeing, but we know this: the conflict was not severe enough to split the church, but it was also not minor enough not to be addressed.

Better Than Okay

And probably tells us something about Paul’s standard of unity. Most likely these women were “okay.” They were tip-toeing around each other, making it all work. They were okay. But Paul wants them to be better than “okay” — he wants them to agree in the Lord.

The way Paul puts this is important. He says the exact same thing to both women and he addresses them in alphabetical order: “I entreat Euodia” and “I entreat Syntyche.” He’s not taking sides here. He speaks to both women individually and he appeals to what they both have in common — they both are in the Lord. This means that whatever the root of the issue was, whatever caused the conflict, because they are both in the Lord — they are both united to Christ — let that be the source of their unity together.

The blood of Jesus that cleanses us from all sin! — the resurrection power of Jesus at work in our hearts! — the Spirit of Jesus who is completing in us the good work that he began! — That can do better than “okay.” Because of THAT, we can agree.

These sisters are already on the same page when it comes to the most ultimate things in reality, now get on the same page about this conflict. It doesn’t mean they have to become ‘besties,’ and it doesn’t mean that act like the thing never happened, but they can come to resolution in Christ. They can think the same way in Christ, for Christ, because of Christ.

Paul entreats these women to do that, and so I would like to entreat the women in our church. My sisters, I thank God for you. Our church needs you. You shape the heart of this community. You are the warmth of our fellowship. You are like the welcome of God to everyone who comes here, and so, sisters, I entreat you: agree in the Lord.

Unity really matters.

Here’s the second observation …

2) Local church unity is owned by everyone (verse 3a)

Look at the first part of verse 3:

“Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women. …”

And like I mentioned earlier, there’s a lot of speculation about who Paul is talking about here, and some arguments are better than others, but I’m not going to mention them because the main thing I want us to see here is the high-level fact that there are two women who have a conflict, and there is somebody else who is supposed to help them.

You Can Be a Peacemaker

Paul gives a command here. This true companion, another member of this local church, is commanded to help Euodia and Syntyche to agree in the Lord.

This means that we should expect disagreements between two parties to require a third-party helper. When there’s a conflict between some members of the church, it’s other members of the church who should help them resolve the conflict. The name we might give these other members, these helpers, is “peacemaker.”

And I think it’s helpful that Paul doesn’t mention this peacemaker by name, because it’s actually the responsibility of anyone in the church. Any of us could be a peacemaker. If we’re all leaning in and moving in the same direction, and doing what Paul exhorts us to do — if we’re living in a way that witnesses to the all-satisfying value of Jesus (1:27a), if we’re “being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind” (2:2) — if we’re all doing that and any of you finds out about two members who are disagreeing, you should move toward them to help them. The whole church must take ownership of the church’s unity.

Which means if there’s ever festering conflict in a church, if there’s disunity, it’s not just because two people disagree, but it’s also because others are not helping like Paul says we should. Every single one of us should be ready to become peacemakers. And there’s not really an alternative here, unless you also want to become part of the problem. Conflict in one part of the church is the whole church’s business because unresolved conflict will eventually affect the whole church.

When It Festers

And you can imagine how this goes:

Euodia has this issue with Syntyche, and she says it’s not a big deal but then she tells another friend about it. And that friend brings it up in a Life Group as a prayer request, and then suddenly there’s three women who think Euodia is right.

At the same time, Syntyche tells one of her friends about it, a little more removed from Euodia, and that friend is all in with Syntyche and she can’t believe Euodia would do that. And then that friend’s husband gets in on it too, but here’s the thing: Euodia and Syntyche are cold toward one another but cordial — maybe they’re okay — but the unresolved conflict means that sides slowly begin to form.

Charitable judgment is pushed aside and suspicions toward one another start to creep in. And the local church, which is the family of God, which is an embassy of heaven on this earth, it starts to become a place of anxiety — and the focus is not on How do we make Jesus known in this world? but the focus is: How do we make all this hold together?

And meanwhile, Satan is throwing a party because the whole thing started with an argument about carpet color.

And we should laugh here because it’s silly, but church, Jesus isn’t laughing. Do we have any idea how disunity in the church must grieve him? He bought us with his blood. He has given us the Spirit of unity! His Spirit is the love of God poured into our hearts! — and what are the things that we let come between us?

Getting in the Room

I’ve tried to be a peacemaker one time, in a formal sense, years ago. I was part of a different church, there was a disagreement between two individuals, and I felt like I had enough rapport with them both to help them agree. And so we got together in a room, and they sat across from one another and I sat here, and honestly, that was the hardest part. It was just getting in the room, in front of one another.

And the only way it happened — the only way it happens — is because both individuals want to be there. Both individuals have to want to, in humility, count the other more significant than themselves. They have to want to look not only to their own interests but also to the interests of the other. They have to want to have the mind of Christ — which means they will suffer the discomfort of that conversation for something greater than comfort. They will risk humiliation because the honor of unity is more precious that the honor of winning.

Church, I’ll tell you, if we can have a Philippians 2-heart like Jesus and just do what the Bible says, everything around here is going to be good. I promise.

So for all of us, each one of you true companions, if there’s disagreement, help. Let’s point one another to Philippians 2. Let’s be peacemakers. Local church unity is owned by everyone.

3. Local church members’ names are written in the book of life (verse 3c)

In verse 3 Paul makes it clear that Euodia and Syntyche are his friends. They are his sisters whom he loves and longs for. They are his joy and crown, his beloved, and they’ve served the Lord together. They’ve “labored side by side with [Paul] in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of [Paul’s] fellow workers” — and here’s the sentence to end on — “whose names are in the book of life.”

What Is the Book of Life?

What is that? We probably heard something about a “book of life” before, but it’s not from Paul. This is the only time in all of Paul’s letters that he mentions the “book of life.” So where does this idea come from?

Well, we first see it in the Old Testament, in the Book of Daniel, Chapter 12. Daniel is talking about the very end of time and he says that those who will be saved are “everyone whose name shall be found written in the book” (12:1).

Then later, in the New Testament, John, in the Book of Revelation, picks up that same theme. The Book of Life is mentioned six times in Revelation, and Revelation 21:27 basically says the same thing as Daniel 12:1. On the last day, the day of judgment, the Book of Life will be opened and only those whose names are written in the book will enter the kingdom of heaven.

So we read about this book in Daniel, and then in Revelation, but most notable of all is that Jesus talks about it.

In Luke 10, Jesus sent out 72 missionaries to go into every town and prepare these towns to receive him. So they’re commissioned out, two by two, and then later they return with joy, and they’re blown away by the mission. They said, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!”

And do y’all know how Jesus replied?

He said, “Do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven” (v. 20).

Written in the book of life. That’s what Jesus is talking about. Isn’t it great when Paul says the same things that Jesus said?

Paul is getting this from Jesus. There is a book in heaven and it has names written in it — and it’s everyone who has put their faith in Jesus — and it’s really important. Eternally important! Because, if your name is in this book, you get to be with Jesus forever.

And if we could remember that our names are written in that book, do you think it could change the way we handle our conflict? That’s why Paul goes here, because remembering that book changes things.

How Does This Impact Our Conflicts?

So I want to close with this question: How does this fact — that our names are written in the book of life — how does that impact how we handle conflict?

Three ways:

When we remember that our names are written in the book of life …

First, we will see one another as loved by Jesus.

Paul is thinking here like a Baptist, because he assumes that every member of the local church is a born-again believer. If the local church was a mixed community of Christians and non-Christians, then when there’s conflict, the immediate question is whether the other person is really a Christian or not. It’s instant suspicion.

But, because the local church is made up of only those who have been brought from spiritual death to spiritual life, conflict in the local church is always between two people for whom Jesus died. That’s not theoretical. I’m being very literal here. The person you are disagreeing with — if they are a church member in good standing, duly affirmed by an elder-led covenant membership — that person is your brother, your sister, and Jesus loves them. He knows them and he loves them. Jesus wrote their names down in the book in his blood.

And so someone’s response to conflict — someone’s resistance to even try to agree — actually says more about them than it does anything else. Can you really love your Savior if you despise the one he saved? (See 1 John … Chapter 4, verse 20)

Jesus loves the person you got beef with. Their name is written in the book.

When we remember that our names are written in the book of life …

Second, we will come to help one another with hope.

I think one of the biggest barriers to sustained unity in the local church is our cynicism toward conflict. If we’ve been around long enough and we’ve seen enough conflict, we can do the whole ‘Here we go again.’ That’s cynicism. It’s a subtle doomsday mentality that the conflict will go about as badly as it could. And look, I get it, I’ve been there — but that mentality is wrong.

If our names are written in heaven, the expectation should be that we can agree and we will. We should be eager to get together in the same room and work it out. Look, Jesus is pulling for us! The Spirit is gonna help us! We move toward resolution with hope — humbly and prayerfully, God help us. We can have hope!

When we remember that our names are written in the book of life …

Third, we will rethink our disagreements in light of Jesus’s face.

One thing that Paul is doing at the end of Chapter 4, verse 3 is that he’s sending us back to 3:21. This is for perspective. He’s reminding us: Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.

Because our name is in that book, we will see Jesus face-to-face one day. We will stand right there with him, transformed. That will be a real moment.

And imagine for a second, in that moment, imagine yourself explaining to Jesus your side of the story. Your looking at him, he’s looking at you …

“Well, Jesus they blah, blah, blah; but they blah, blah, blah; then they blah, blah, blah.”

I can’t help but wonder if on that day all our disagreements will be seen as petty, because on that day we will truly know that there is something more glorious than being right. Whatever you’re holding on to, you’re gonna explain it to Jesus. Could we rethink our disagreements now in light of that day?

Our names, brothers and sisters — our names are written in the book.

Kinda feels like the pastor is talking straight to me.

I’m talking to all of us. Let us agree in the Lord.

That’s what brings us to the Table.

The Table

Every week when we come to the Lord’s Table, it is a uniting ordinance. It’s called communion — we remember our union with Christ by faith and our union with one another in Christ.

And today, I’d like to talk to two categories of folks in the room.

First, if you’re here today and you’re not a Christian, you might wonder: How can I get my name written in that book? The answer is faith in Jesus Christ. So I invite you to put your faith in him right now. Right where you are, know that you cannot save yourself. Trust in Jesus. Just tell him, Jesus, I trust you. Save me.

Second, if you’re a member at this church and there’s some conflict between you and another member of this church, as we receive this table, resolve in your heart that, if possible, as far as it depends on you, you will be at peace with this brother or sister.

Church, Jesus loves you and he has freed you from your sins by his blood. To all who trust him, receive his Table and give him thanks.