The SelfWork podcast

#Fitness #Self-Improvement #Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD #Anxiety #Depression #Mentalhealth #Perfectionism #Selfhelp #Mental Health #Health and Well-Being #Fooducate Podcasts #Podcasting Education #Dr Margaret Rutherford

22:08

Host Francesca Amiker sits down with directors Joe and Anthony Russo, producer Angela Russo-Otstot, stars Millie Bobby Brown and Chris Pratt, and more to uncover how family was the key to building the emotional core of The Electric State . From the Russos’ own experiences growing up in a large Italian family to the film’s central relationship between Michelle and her robot brother Kid Cosmo, family relationships both on and off of the set were the key to bringing The Electric State to life. Listen to more from Netflix Podcasts . State Secrets: Inside the Making of The Electric State is produced by Netflix and Treefort Media.…

The SelfWork Podcast

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I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 30 years, TEDx speaker, and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or that it somehow suggests you can't fix your own problems. My team is very honored that nine years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question as well as interviews with outstanding guests, authors, and experts, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there (ranked as a top .5% internationally) I keep it short, casual, and focused on "what you can do about it." I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.

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The SelfWork Podcast

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438 SelfWork: Why Success Doesn't Feel Like It Should: A Conversation with Laura Gassner Otting 44:14

5天之前44:14

44:14

Are you working toward success? My guest on SelfWork today is a career expert - Laura Gassner Otting - I've already been influenced by her new book WonderHell in quite a wonderful way! Laura’s secret superpower is seeing your greatness and reflecting it back on you, so that you can get “unstuck” — and achieve extraordinary results. A regular contributor to Good Morning America, the TODAY Show, Harvard Business Review, and Oprah Daily, Laura is the Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author of three books, Wonderhell, Limitless, and Mission-Driven. I felt that power from the moment I began reading and I've found myself musing over small nuggets of her encouraging words well after I'd finished. When you desire and then achieve success, there are surprising and challenging things that come along with it - but this book can help you work through those things (like fear...) when they very naturally emerge. Advertisers Links: Find out what your "true age" is! Go to https://trudiagnostic.com/selfwork to sign up and get a discount for being a SelfWork listener! Manage your hormones with the help of Happy Mammoth, a leader in women's health! Go to https://happymammoth.com/selfwork to order! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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437 SelfWork: Expectations, Demands and Boundaries: What's the Difference? 28:16

12天之前28:16

28:16

Today we're going to talk about the fairly sticky subject of the difference between expectations, demands, and boundaries . In this "second time around" episode, Christine Mathias, Dr. Margaret's communication manager, lets us in to how her younger self struggled with setting good boundaries - and why this particular episode meant a lot to her. So, what is the difference between expectations, demands and boundaries? Here are some questions to ask yourself. What do you do when you feel disappointed by others? Do you isolate or judge? Do you get mad or sulk? Could it be that your very expectations are the problem? Is it different to voice your expectations than it is to secretly have them? Or is that playing a game that the other person doesn’t know you’re playing? And how do boundaries fit in here? The listener email for today is from a young 21 year-old who feels tremendous loyalty to her family and feels “needed” by them. But she also feels very stuck and admits she can hold onto a victim mentality. She’s dealing with enmeshment it sounds like.. She’s asking how she can take baby steps to start living more independently… Wonderful question and I’ll do my best to give her some ideas. Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – a free $76 value for new trials with bonus product with your subscription! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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436 SelfWork: Seven Steps to Work Through Disappointment 27:17

19天之前27:17

27:17

Today on SelfWork, the focus is on how to work through disappointment. John Crowley, my friend and incredible production engineer , chose this episode as one of his "second time around" favorites to present to you in my absence. My immense gratitude to him for taking the wheel! What are the seven steps to work through disappointment? Here they are! Grieve first. Start getting perspective right off the bat. Consider and acknowledge what your own part was or is in creating the disappointment. That's utilizing your internal locus control. Acknowledge what you couldn't control, utilizing your external locus control. Build back your energy, enthusiasm by choosing to do things that will bring you pleasure. And those dopamine receptors will love that. Look for the windows that are opening as that door closes. Again, you might need friends to do that. Reassess your disappointment. Take time in the next two or three months or even six months to look back and say, “All right, how do I perceive that disappointment now?" The listener voicemail is from someone who listened to my YouTube episode on enmeshment and wants to learn more! Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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435 SelfWork: When "Home" Was Chaos 22:47

26天之前22:47

22:47

How are you supposed to live a normal life when "home" was chaos? That's the topic of today's SelfWork. and it's triggered by a very frank email from a listener whose kept his chaos secret for many years. We can tend to keep secret the fact that home was chaos – you can fear being judged for it, even though you didn’t cause it. Please heed a trigger warning; the story is hard to hear. And if there was significant trauma in your own childhood, then please listen carefully. You'll also listen to a voicemail that was sent to me years ago now but a woman who’d tried to talk with her therapist about her identifying with perfectly hidden depression . And her therapist argued with her – saying there was no way she fit criteria for depression. It’s a stunning problem to have… when your therapist’s lens doesn’t allow them to see what you’re trying to say to them. And it’s a special problem with perfectly hidden depression. Advertiser's Link and Special Offer : Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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434 SelfWork: Belonging and Community... Find It In A Third Space 22:53

5 weeks之前22:53

22:53

Today we're going to focus on how to find community and belonging by finding or creating a "third space." What's that? Many of you don’t remember the 1983 hit show Cheers. It was about a local Boston bar run by a recovering alcoholic who was still very much a playboy. The bar was peopled by everyone from a grandiose psychiatrist, a retired coach, a rather superior-feeling grad student, a mailman, and well... who knew what Norm did! . Characters fell in lust, in love, and out of love. But the strong message from the show was that everyone needed a place of acceptance and belonging - hence the lyrics of the Cheers theme song. " Sometimes you wanna go Where everybody knows your name And they're always glad you came You wanna be where you can see (ah-ah) Our troubles are all the same (ah-ah) You wanna be where everybody knows your name" But that was 1983. A lot has changed – a lot. But today we’re going to focus on our remaining need as humans to have a sense of belonging and community - and to combat the loneliness epidemic that's the reality of so many . One of those things is finding or creating what's termed a "third space." We'll focus on how to do that today on SelfWork. The listener voicemail is from a guy who’s been told all his life that he can’t do things for himself – and he’s unsure of where to start – of how to begin or maybe redefine his own independence. Vital Links: Great article in The Atlantic called The Anti-Social Century by Derek Thompson was phenomenal. Research showing attendance at only one cultural/community event decreases depression Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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433 SelfWork: Why Is It So Hard to Treat Eating Disorders? A Conversation with Johanna Kandel 41:32

6 weeks之前41:32

41:32

Why is it so hard to treat eating disorders? We're going to find out today in this interview with Johanna Kandel, founder and director of the National Alliance for Eating Disorders. Kandel brings her own successful recovery from anorexia and bulimia to this interview whose message is that full recovery is possible. She's the author of book " Life Beyond Your Eating Disorder, but in her establishment of a thriving clinician-led service organization, she stresses that you can free yourself from identifying with the disorder - and then become it. Eating disorders can far too easily become who you are. Kandel seeks to empower readers by sharing her own past—how her youthful perfectionism and aspirations to become a ballerina fueled her need to control and numb her emotions, which stoked her disorder. She also offers practical advice: “My eating disorder gave me carte blanche not to have to do things that scared me: I didn’t have to feel . . . Basically, it protected me . . . from life.” I loved this conversation. As someone with a history of anorexia myself, it gave me another chance to speak to my own vulnerability. Advertiser's Link and Special Offer : Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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432 SelfWork: Doctors and Depression: A Conversation with Dr. Pam Buchanan 34:15

7 weeks之前34:15

34:15

Today the focus is on doctors and depression, with Dr. Pamela Buchanan as my guest, in a second episode in the "Careers That Kill" series, discussing medical providers, the pandemic, and depression. She's a board-certified physician, speaker and thought leader dedicated to transforming healthcare and championing mental well-being. She’s a TEDx speaker known for her powerful talk on “Emotional Flatline,” which explores the emotional toll of the high-stress ER during the pandemic, and the struggle doctors have with depression. As the author of T he Oxygen Mask Principle, Dr. Buchanan teaches self-care as a revolutionary act for working mothers, healthcare professionals, and high achievers. She's also currently an ambassador with the Lorna Breen foundation that has a focus prevent physician suicide. Recently, she's taken a strong stance that she, as a Black physician, has to prove herself over and over - which is not only unjust, but adds intense pressure to her every day. Still, she's passionate about coaching physicians through burnout so that they can stay in practice. Vital Links Dr. Buchanan runs a wellness and weight loss telemedicine site. Her website where she can be contacted for coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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431 SelfWork: Optimism Fatigue: Is It A New Kind of Depression? 19:52

8 weeks之前19:52

19:52

What is optimism fatigue? Is it a new a kind of depression? In this episode of SelfWork, I’m thinking aloud a bit with you … if what we’re experiencing is a new kind of depression – one that’s mixed in with anxiety and fatigue. What’s it called? Optimism fatigue. It may not be diagnosable, but as I’ve considered my own situation, I realize that I’m having to dig a little deeper to find comfort that I can offer to others. It’s not that I can’t find it. But it’s harder. There’s a big difference between false enthusiasm and true optimism or hope. And I’ll hope that what I’ve learned from research and then, adding in my own two bits, will guide you in your own quest for emotional balance – and even optimism. The listener email for today is from a young woman who’s despairing about the emotional abuse she’s received from several partners – yet yearns to create a family with children. I told her that I’d be using her question today so hopefully she’s listening – I’ll do my best to give her, and you, some helpful ideas. Vital Links: LinkedIn 2020 question from Warren Schlichting SelfWork episode on languishing Optimism fatigue versus languishing Beth Burgess on the difference between optimism and positivity The "wanting mind" as described by Dharma Wisdom You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! . Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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430 SelfWork: What Was Your "Job" In Your Family? 24:29

9 weeks之前24:29

24:29

What was your "job" in your family? Most of us love to take tests like the Enneagram or the Myers/Briggs to find out what the test might have to say about our personality style or our strengths and vulnerabilities. But something you might also gravitate to – in thinking about what’s called your family of origin – or the family you grew up in – is talking about the roles each of the children played in the family - or what was your "job" in your family. The six most commonly agreed upon roles are called Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child, Mascot, Caretaker/Enabler and Golden Child – and we’ll go through all of these in detail! So today we’re going talk about the role you played in your family and maybe even the role you’re STILL playing in your family. And… as always… what can you do about it if you’re not profiting from it in a healthy way. The listener voicemail is from a young woman who recognizes her role as “the golden child” in her family – as the one who can make no mistakes in a parent’s eyes. And her issue with realizing her mom – who is working on her own self-improvement – treats her sister very differently. And what should she do about that? I’ll have some ideas for her – and you. Vital Links: Heidi Priebe's excellent Medium article on jobs children are given in families Resource with even more "roles" children play Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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429 SelfWork: Seven Good Reasons to Stop Therapy 23:58

10 weeks之前23:58

23:58

What are seven good reasons to stop therapy? That's the focus of this week's SelfWork! It’s often a very moving moment when you leave therapy. Here’s someone that you’ve trusted and confided in for weeks or months – or sometimes even years. And it’s time to walk out of their office and do without that resource. As I like to say, it’s my job to do myself out of a job. And I celebrate with people I’ve worked with when they leave to hopefully use the skills learned, and enjoy the feelings of having worked through whatever pain or trauma had been plaguing them. But there are other good reasons to stop therapy - and we'll talk about seven of them. Our listener voicemail this week is a bit different; the topic is how to handle your feelings if you’re a caregiver, but the person you’re caring for led a life of self-neglect, which inevitably led to the illness they have now. Vital Links : Cathy Sikorski's SelfWork episode Advertiser's Link and Special Offer : Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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428 SelfWork: The Shame and Self-Blame Game 23:08

11 weeks之前23:08

23:08

The focus today is on what I call "the shame and self-blame game." One listener told me recently that she wondered for a long time - “Did I allow my abuse?” How many of you feel to blame for your own abuse? And does that very shame and self-blame make it even more important to keep what happened secret? You bet it can. It’s this irrational shame we’re going to tackle. Because you’re looking back on what happened with the eyes of an adult - not through the eyes of the child you were. And that's a very vital distinction. Our listener voicemail asks a simple question: How can I help my daughter who fits your description of perfectly hidden depression to a tee? I’m so scared for her. It’s a great question because it’s respecting or sensing how difficult it might be for your loved one to look at themselves with compassion. Vital Links: SelfWork Episode: Learning how to feel and release difficult emotions – Check out my YouTube channel ! Good Will Hunting YouTube clip Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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427 SelfWork: The Horrors of Marital Rape 23:04

12 weeks之前23:04

23:04

We’re talking about sexual abuse today – to be more specific, the horrors of marital rape. Please if you have any kind of history of abuse which many of you I’m sure do – please listen cautiously as the facts of the case could be highly triggering for you. For international abuse hotlines please click here . You may have heard about the French woman, Gisèle Pelicot, who was the victim of multiple rapes – by multiple men including her husband – while drugged. This occurred over several years. All men were found guilty. I know many men who voice their horrors of marital rape, or any sexual violence. And I’ve worked with male victims of sexual abuse. Yet women live with fear every day – that the simplest of choices, like turning on a light when you get into your apartment or making a choice to jog a different way home – as now, if someone was watching you, they’d know where you live or they’d get you alone. The fear is constant for girls and women, and often occurs in marriage and families . Our listener voicemail is from someone who finds that she’s mimicking the very harsh anger she’d heard from a parent - and hated – so what’s going on when you begin to do what you don’t want to do or become who you don’t want to be? She’s taken the first step of awareness and hopefully I can suggest the next ones. Vital Links: The Independent (Great Britain) article on the Pelicot case/arrest HuffPost article by a victim of rape in response to the Pelicot case Guardian article challenging the idea that "rape is more about power than sex" Psych Today article in 2022 giving marital rape statistics Advertiser's Link and Special Offer : Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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426 SelfWork: You Only Die Once: A Conversation with Jodi Wellman 40:05

13 weeks之前40:05

40:05

You Only Die Once , written by positive psychologist Jodi Wellman, has this very important message - being aware of your last moment can help you live this one more fully. She's a devout believer in not wasting the time you have, not spending this moment in dread or apathy. Statistically speaking, we're given four thousand Mondays in our lifetime to live. So savoring those moments, realizing that every minute of every day holds meaning, is vital to your happiness. Both in her book, You Only Die Once , and her TEDx talk, she uses her quirky humor and very welcome common sense to urge each one of us to live more deeply and die with no regret. Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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425 SelfWork: Six Steps Out of Loneliness 23:30

14 weeks之前23:30

23:30

Today we’re going to talk about loneliness – and how one article I read drew some conclusions about it that made a lot of sense to me. One major point – we can’t or shouldn’t harken back to older times and think we need to create those now. That’s not the answer. Cell phones, virtual meetings or classes, working from home, pandemic hangover – none of that is going to go away. We’re not suddenly going to help a neighbor raise a barn or birth a baby. So we’ve got to understand there’s no going back and instead look forward to new ideas and solutions to address thie epidemic of loneliness. . So, what is that solution? I’ll put in my two bits per normal here on SelfWork. And it has to do with not believing your thoughts but realizing that they may be painting a reality that’s simply not true. Our voicemail today is from a listener in Australia – although her home is the US – and she describes going through a hard time – feeling alone – and how one of my podcasts on the good enough parent was helpful to her. Vital Links: The New York Times article by Matthew Shaer Advertiser's Link: Click HERE for the NEW fabulous offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your subscription! You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford . Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out Midi Health: https://trymidi.com/selfwork * Check out TruDiagnostic and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: https://www.trudiagnostic.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands…

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424 SelfWork: The New Feeling Great App! Talking with Dr. David Burns 34:19

15 weeks之前34:19