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The Happiest Lives was designed for Christian women who want to stop being disappointed in their relationships and feel more loved and loving. Here you will learn to think better, feel better, and love better. This podcast is hosted by Jill M. Lillard, MA LPC, a licensed counselor, and Gottman Certified Couples Therapist. Jill has been helping people manage their minds, process their feelings, and have better relationships for over 25 years. For application exercises and support in applying ...
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Send us a text In this new series, Jill will share a straightforward process she uses whenever she feels stuck. Whether you’re dealing with overwhelm, indecision, or feeling lost, this method will help you gain clarity and take the next step forward. Tune in to discover practical tools you can use today to break free from what’s holding you back an…
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Send us a text The hardest hurdle to communication is that visceral reaction when your body becomes emotionally flooded and you can't access all the smart things you know. The final episode of our Defensiveness series focuses on staying calm and connected during challenging conversations. Discover relaxation techniques, emotional regulation skills,…
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Send us a text This is part 3 of the series on Defensiveness. Owning your actions is about stopping your efforts to control the other person and taking ownership of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. When we shift our energy from what we can't control to what we can, we can start making some headway in our conversations. If you are ready to beco…
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Send us a text Today, we’re continuing our series on Defensiveness. Last week, Jill shared a personal story about becoming defensive with her family and promised to return with insights gained after interviewing her family about it. In this episode, she shares what she learned from those conversations. Our focus today is on assuming the best when y…
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Send us a text Today, we begin a new series on defensiveness, one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse identified by John Gottman. In this episode, we explore what defensiveness is, why we experience it, and how it affects our interactions. Jill shares a personal story about feeling defensive during a family vacation and how it impacted her relat…
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Send us a text This episode wraps up the 5 part series on Urges. To enter the rest of God we must go into the future where our victory is complete and we have arrived at our destination. When it seems we are circling over the sea of suffering, we must persevere in believing and pressing on despite unwanted emotions and demanding urges that promise …
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Send us a text Today, in Part 4 of our URGES series, we tackle the destructive cycle of shame. • Shame Uncovered: Understand shame and how it differs from guilt. • Lisa’s Story: Learn how Lisa overcame shame around answering unhealthy coping mechanisms /urges in her marriage. • Practical Steps: Discover strategies to move past shame, reframe though…
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Send us a text This is part 3 of the series Urges. We all experience urges, and nothing is wrong with you because you feel tempted to do things that don't honor your greatest values. The good news is that God is faithful, and He promises that the urge won't last forever and that he will provide a way out. If you are ready to become the woman God sa…
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Send us a text This is part 2 of the series Urges. Urges are strong desires, almost a compulsion. Answering them may bring relief and even pleasure, but in the long game, answering urges that don't align with our goals and values creates greater suffering. Often times we will go unconscious and act like urges are happening to us, and yet we have th…
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Send us a text This is part one of the series Urges. An urge is a pressing desire, almost a compulsion, manifesting in all life areas of living, including relationships, health habits, and work goals. Urges feel uncomfortable, even painful when we don't answer them. However, when we obey unwanted urges, we experience prolonged and acute suffering. …
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Send us a text This is part 4 of the series Cultivating a Fiery & Fresh Relationship With Jesus. Today, I discuss the crucial role of the church, referring to the body of all believers as well as local congregations. We. Look at the reasons you may be discouraged from attending church and why regular fellowship is still important. I share with you …
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Send us a text This is part 3 of the series Cultivating A Fiery & Fresh Relationship With Jesus. God's Word is the ultimate source of truth, guidance, and transformation. Many Christians struggle with consistent Bible reading due to busy lives and distractions. In this episode, we examine how you think about Bible reading and offer practical tips a…
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Send us a text This is part 2 of the series Cultivating A Fiery & Fresh Relationship With God. In this episode, I will show you how to transform your prayer life from routine and one-dimensional to a powerful way to connect with God. If you are ready to become the woman God says you already are, you have to join me in Clarity+Courage, my cost-effec…
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Send us a text This begins the series Cultivating a Fiery & Fresh Relationship with Jesus, where we explore what it truly means to passionately desire, turn toward, and experience God. Join me as we examine three distinct types of relationships: legalistic, complacent, and passionate. We will also delve into the depths of passion, uncovering the ba…
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Send us a text This is part 4 of the series Making Everyday Life Productive & Fun. Join Jill and Coach Stephanie as they discuss how to balance work and play, the role of play in their lives, what they consider fun, and obstacles and antidotes to having a good time. At The Happiest Lives, we believe if you aren't enjoying the journey, you are proba…
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Send us a text This is part 3 of the series How To Make Everyday Life Productive & Fun. In this episode, I share some of my favorite ways to get things done. Though "Plan A" is always to be flexible and open to how the Spirit leads you, "Plans B-Z "may include systematic processes and techniques that help you stay engaged with your life and increas…
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Send us a text This is part 2 of the series Making Everyday Life Productive & Fun. We all have routines, whether we are conscious of them or not. Your routines are the rhythms of your life and create the results you are experiencing. In this episode, we talk about the value of routines in honoring our values and what is important to us, as well as …
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Send us a text In this podcast episode, I introduce a new series focused on making everyday life productive and fun. When you can find meaning and joy in your routines, you become more engaged and excited about life. Seeing your life as a partnership rather than a series of busyness shifts our energy. Practical tips are provided for incorporating p…
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Send us a text Today, we wrap up the series Path To Aliveness as we explore courage in everyday life. We discuss how courageous individuals acknowledge and confront their fears, take risks in relationships even though they could be rejected, and remain authentic to their values despite adversity. When the Holy Spirit lives inside us we are embolden…
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Send us a text This is part 4 in the series Path To Aliveness. If God promises to give us the desires of our hearts, why don't we get everything we want? Is it okay to want things, or should I relinquish my desire to be a selfless person? How can I make all my longings and wants work for the greatest good? We consider all these questions and more o…
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Send us a text This is part 3 in the series Path To Alive-ness. If you are thirsty, come! If you have exhausted all your resources, COME. Isaiah 55 shows us a new way contrary to our logic and ways of doing things. Here, we are promised peace and joy that does not depend on our circumstances. If you are ready to become the woman God says you alread…
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Send us a text This is part 2 in the series Path To Alive-ness. If you have been trying to change outwardly by adhering to or imposing a rule list/script on others, you will be constantly in despair. Beating yourself up, blaming others, or defending your tender heart through self-protective strategies won't improve things. There is only one way to …
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Send us a text Welcome to part one of the series Path To Alive-ness. In response to life's hardships, we either move toward contempt, numbness, and detachment or fight to keep our hearts tender and alive. In every situation, we choose a path of life or death. In this episode, I lay out the two options and show you what it looks like to choose alive…
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Send us a text This is part four of the series Thinking About What You Are Thinking About. In this episode, we will reverse-engineer a new result to discover a new way to think about our circumstances. If you are ready to become the woman God says you already are, you have to join me in Clarity+Courage, my cost-effective coaching group for Christia…
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Send us a text This is part 3 of the series Thinking About What You Are Thinking About. Your mind creates feelings that direct your behavior, which creates results. Therefore, you have to look at your mind to get new results. When we focus on creating change by changing our actions without looking at our minds- the cause of our actions- we can’t cr…
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Send us a text This is part 2 of the series Thinking About What You Are Thinking About. Every feeling you have can be traced back to a thought. When we get curious about our feelings and thoughts, we can't start picking them on purpose. In this episode, I show you four common misconceptions about emotions. I then walk you through four steps to FEEL…
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Send us a text This begins a brand new series, Thinking About What You Are Thinking About. You can let your mind run on default or you can take your brain out of the box and consider what thoughts are running your life. When you take your thoughts captive, beginning with awareness, you change your life. In this episode, I walk you through the proce…
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Send us a text This is part nine of the series How To Get Your Relationship Back On Track. In this finale, we talk about creating shared meaning in your relationship, which Gottman refers to as the roof of our relationship house. I show you how to find a 'want match" and highlight the importance of small, consistent changes in positively impacting …
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Send us a text This is part 8 of the series How To Get Your Relationship Back On Track. Today's episode discusses creating regular connection points in your relationship. As you are intentional with a few things, this helps foster shared meaning in your marriage and increases the likelihood of spontaneous connections. If you are ready to become the…
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Send us a text Welcome to part 7 of the series How To Get Your Relationship Back On Track. In this episode, we explore making requests in your relationship in a way that increases your influence and leaves you feeling better about yourself. Generating feelings of calm and openness before asking for help will serve you better than asking from a plac…
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Send us a text This is part six of the series How To Get Your Relationship Back On Track. In this episode, I explore what it means to show up as yourself. You want to be in a relationship with someone because they value YOU, not you being who you think they want you to be. Awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and desires is crucial to express your…
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Send us a text This is part 5 of the series How To Get Your Relationship Back On Track. Recall the last time you felt truly curious and understanding as someone shared their thoughts and feelings. This week, we unfold the layers of becoming an adept listener, from fostering a nurturing space for heartfelt dialogues to recognizing the unspoken dream…
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Send us a text This is part four of the series How To Get Your Relationship Back On Track. Have you ever felt like your relationship is stuck in a cycle of the same old arguments? In today's episode, we dive into the heart of recurring conflicts, revealing how behind every gridlock issue is a hidden dream. This isn't just about finding common groun…
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Send us a text This is part three of the series How To Get Your Relationship Back On Track. When you nurture positive sentiments and good feelings in your marriage, you are making deposits in your love bank. These emotional investments become valuable resources that you will withdraw from when you face conflict in your relationship. Join me to lear…
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Send us a text This is part two of the series How To Get Your Relationship Back On Track. Learn the importance of being emotionally aware and regulating your emotions in your relationship. You can validate and make your emotions work for you as you deepen intimacy in your relationship. Let me show you how in today's episode. If you are ready to bec…
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Send us a text This is part 1 of the series, How To Get Your Relationship Back On Track. A foundational step to building a healthy relationship is creating a healing separation. The goal of a healing separation is always healthier connections. Creating a healing separation does not mean you are living separate lives and dealing with things independ…
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Send us a text In the Western World, we tend to indulge the view of self as we focus on personal development, self-actualization, and becoming the best version of ourselves. Eastern religions lean toward renouncing self and suppressing wants and desires to move to a place of spiritual enlightenment. Neither of these perspectives seems to fall in li…
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Send us a text Can you trust in God's goodness and sovereignty, even when the road seems rough? What does it look like to let go of how you think things should be without giving up hope? The pathway to surrender often involves suffering. We must be willing to feel our pain and gently move to a place of trust. The alternative is powering our way thr…
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Send us a text Ever wondered how to go about accomplishing the impossible? This episode illuminates the four stages of achieving just that, from the despair of being unable to achieve your goals to the joy of leaning on God's strength. We delve into Apostle Paul's passionate journey of faith, where he learned to rely on Christ's atonement, not his …
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Send us a text Join me for this podcast series, The Surrendered Self. To understand the concepts of surrender and self, we must plug them into the story of mankind's relationship with God, which is a story of redemption. In this episode, I remind you of the ongoing battle between the flesh and the spirit. I encourage you as a believer to find your …
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Send us a text Have you set an intention for the year? Is Jesus in the center of your pursuits? Why is a surrendered life the best life to pursue? In this episode, I remind you how obstacles and problems can become opportunities to deepen our faith. Sharing tangible ways to let go and trust God, from having daily quiet moments with Jesus to sharing…
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Send us a text You'll be moved by the powerful testimony of our guest, Holly Snell, who turned to faith in her darkest hour. As Holly shares how seeking God's presence saw her through the loss of her husband in a tragic accident, you'll discover how harnessing the strength found in faith can transform your hardships. If you are ready to become the …
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Send us a text One thing is for sure: life can be uncertain. This can lead to anxiety, overwhelm, and worry, even for believers. Holly Snell, the author of Dancing On My Ashes, joins us on today's podcast, reminding us of the one thing we can count on when life throws a curve ball. If you are ready to become the woman God says you already are, you …
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Send us a text It’s time to wake up and start living. You can break strongholds, have better relationships, achieve greater clarity, improve decision-making, feel better, and face what has been holding you back. The Happiest Lives Academy will unlock the extraordinary tools and coaching you need. If you have been wondering what it is like to be ins…
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Send us a text Today, we finish the series 5 Worthy Transformations as we talk about Breaking Strongholds. If you have begged, pleaded, and prayed for deliverance from a stronghold in your life, this is for you. Discover a path to shattering the limiting strongholds of ingrained thoughts, behaviors, and emotional patterns in your life. If you are r…
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Send us a text Ever wondered how to enhance your emotional intelligence to improve your relationships and conversations? That's exactly what we're diving into today. We start by investigating the 'Talk Table,' a tool that helps us create room for more authentic emotional connections. We also uncover the significance of being comfortable with our em…
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Send us a text This is part 3 of the series 5 Worthy Transformations. Are you tired of the constant self-doubt and confusion that arises from indecisiveness? In today's episode, I help you squash your insecurities through understanding powerful decision-making. Imagine making a decision and having your own back.- no more second-guessing. When you e…
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Send us a text This is part 2 of the series 5 Worthy Transformations. Imagine a life where you could feel anything and use it as fuel to grow personally and spiritually. We delve into this intriguing concept, exploring how our beliefs and attitudes toward emotions can shape our experiences. We discuss the mechanism of 'buffering' - the behaviors we…
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Send us a text This month begins the series Five Worthy Transformations. Have you ever wished you could declutter not just your physical spaces, but also your emotional and mental space? Here's your chance. In this episode, I guide you on how to tidy up your life from within. We use the simple act of cleaning out a closet as a metaphor for organizi…
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Send us a text Join me for the last week in The Heart Scan Series as we learn how to PRESS ON despite unwanted emotions. You can come up with a beautiful plan for change, but when it comes time to implement it, you may not always feel like doing the things. Even if you have identified the new thoughts and feelings to fuel the actions, if you don't …
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